The muggy summer heat made Daryl's head feel hazy and foggy, the thin black t-shirt sticking to his skin like a fresh bandage. Exhaling deeply, he takes another drag off of his cigarette, awaiting his older brother, Merle, to show up with some more booze. The broken down trailer that had belonged to his grandparents so many years ago was now in shambles. Between the years of damage and the memories that haunted the place, he wasn't surprised it looked the way it did now.

Daryl's old man was a piece of shit. And that was a nice way of putting it. Will Dixon had never done a thing worthwhile a day in his life. From the moment Daryl had been born, he had known nothing but pain and suffering at the hands of the man who was supposed to show him right from wrong, protect him from the harsh world. Instead, Will had thrust Daryl into it head first, like throwing a kid into a pool and expecting them not to drown. Only Daryl didn't drown. He struggled, he kicked and tried not to suck air into his lungs. Thankfully, Merle had always been there to jump in after him, pull him out in one piece as best as he could. Fists up, ready to take on their own man like he had done so many times before.

Their momma wasn't much better. It wasn't that she was a terrible mother, but she wasn't a great one either. Long before Merle or Daryl had come into the world, their mother had already been consumed by Will Dixon, a hollow shell of a woman, tears always ready to fall. In the beginning, when Daryl was young, she would try to shield him from his father's violence, spare him the burden but as time went on, it became more evident that there was no way to protect Daryl from Will. Merle took the brunt of the beatings, often hiding his younger brother when Will would come home from a weekend bender, looking to pick a fight with anyone who'd give him the time of day.

They were both long gone now. Will had driven himself straight off the road one night, just before Summer began, drunk on moonshine just as he had been Daryl's whole life. When the sheriff showed up on the doorstep that next morning, it was a relief. There were no tears from their mother, no heartfelt stories of Christmas mornings or family outings. They were finally free from the monster that had kept them captive for so long, but why did they still feel as if they were in chains? Their mother went in her sleep a few years later, bible clutched tightly to her chest. Daryl had brought her some groceries from the food pantry when he found her sitting up in the old recliner, a sense of peace on her face he had never seen before.

Merle wasn't surprised. Said it was only a matter of time before they both keeled over. When they took over the rest of the trailer, it wasn't much of a difference. Daryl didn't feel an emptiness or a sadness, it just was.

His old pick up barreling towards him, Daryl moves to the side to make room for his brother's vehicle, abandoning the cigarette butt. Merle gets out of the truck, case of PBR in hand.

"Did real good, little brother. Sold a whole sheet to a bunch of dumb ass college kids. Little do they know that whole last batch was bunk!"

Merle howls in laughter, tossing a beer to Daryl. "I swear, it's a placebo effect or somethin'."

"They ain't gonna notice when they don't start trippin'?"

"Nah, all they gotta do is try it one time and they think they're trippin'. Ya tell them they need an extra tab or somethin' to make up fer it. Works every time, trust me."

Merle had been making and selling acid, sometimes successfully, for the past few months. He had met this girl at a Lynyrd Skynyrd, real weird, who had gotten Merle hooked on the idea of making some extra cash. Since they had the space and she'd had the knowledge to make it, they'd seemed like a match made in heaven. Between pawning some things they had stolen and pulling some favors from a few buddies of his, Merle had gotten his hands on everything they'd needed to make their first batch. It turned out well enough, a little too well actually, to the point where they'd sold all the had in the first week.

Daryl had been hesitant about trying it after seeing how Merle reacted the first time. Laughing and blubbering, not making any sense, not that he usually did. When Daryl was younger, around middle school, Merle gave him his first joint. That was easy enough to get used to, considering he had been smoking cigarettes since the fifth grade but acid was something different entirely. Even at twenty years old, the idea of trying something like that scared him. Merle had been using other drugs for years and it wasn't anything that Daryl wasn't used to be around, but the thought of losing control like that was something he wasn't sure if he was up to.

"C'mon, Darlene. Don't be such a fuckin' pussy. Ya saw me take it and my face didn't melt off, did it?"

"I guess not." Daryl looked down at the tiny piece of paper, wondering how something so small and insignificant looking could make you act and feel so strange.

"Yer gonna be fine. Can't sell the shit if ya haven't tried it, right?"

Daryl nodded his head, putting the tiny square to his tongue.

"Thatta boy! Buckle up fer a wild ride, baby brother!" Merle gripped his shoulder tightly.

At first he didn't notice it at all. Tiny, subtle changes in the air. The way the light would move when he moved his head, tiny rainbows catching as he blinked his eyes. Looking down at his hand, his skin feels strange and looks almost, effervescent. Waving it in front of his face, he sees a trail of hands moving behind, slowly.

Looking up, he feels his brothers eyes on him, the look on his face almost proud. It makes Daryl feel uncomfortable, Merle looking at him like that.

"Ya alright there, kid?"

"Uh huh." He chokes out, the voice coming from his throat not sounding like his own.

Thinking it might calm him down a little, Merle turns on the TV. "Let's find ya somethin' real good to trip out on here." The channels begin flipping on the screen and Daryl feels himself slipping into a tunnel vision, darkness encompassing his peripheral vision.

"Ohh, Alice in Wonderland, that's some grade A trippin' shit right there. Ya picked the right night to drop, heh heh."

Eye's widening at the blonde girl on the screen in as he watches her fall down the rabbit hole. He had seen this movie as a little kid a couple of times and remembered the scene but now it was like he was falling right there with her, plummeting down the dark hole, the smell of earth wafting in his nostrils. Following Alice down the hallway, he continues on her adventure, both in wonder and horror of everything she comes across.

By the time Alice meets the Cheshire Cat, he's pretty sure he can feel his throat swelling closed, that grin looking far too similar to his father's. Those yellow eyes hiding in the dark. Leave it to him to be afraid of the kookiest character in the whole movie, not the Red Queen or the Walrus eating up those poor, innocent baby clams but the Cheshire Cat. Laughing and cackling as his belt came down on Daryl's back, his other hand pushing his mother back, tears streaming down her face.

It all became too real, too much, too soon. Before he even could realize it, his legs lifted him off the couch, unsteady and shaky like a newborn deer.

"What's the matter? Ya trippin' baby brother?" Merle's eyes seemed too blue, too clear for once. Not the usual bloodshot slits staring back at him.

"It's too much."

"Should have known. Maybe should have torn that tab in half fer ya after all."

He turned off the TV, opting for a record instead, hoping something with less imagery would ease Daryl's mind. "Just chill, try not to think so much."

Putting his hands on his head and closing his eyes, all Daryl can see is Alice's face as if she were standing right in front of him. He can make out every freckle, every dimple. Gulping hard, he tries to think of anything else but falling down that hole, the greedy cat's eyes. The soft music fills his head and his breathing starts to relax.

He's not sure how much time goes by, but by the time he opens his eyes again, Alice's journey is reflected on the ceiling. Only now, she's riding a horse, long blonde hair flowing behind her. The horse a rich, chocolate brown, he swears he can almost feel the fur like velvet under his fingers, touching them together to make sure it's not real, just the drug clouding his mind. Approaching a stream, she comes to a stop, getting off the horse carefully.

Kneeling down to the water, she cups her hands, lifting them to her lips for a drink. Alice sits for a moment, looking back from the water and the forest to her horse. Putting out a hand to pet her horse's' head, it becomes startled, pulling back. Alice screams in horror and falls as the horse strikes her, taking off in the other direction. Daryl gasps in horror, feeling the hit just as hard as she has, only realizing it as Merle is lifting him up off the ground.

"Is she alright? Is Alice okay?"

"What the fuck are you talkin' about? I turned that shit off over an hour ago."

"I saw her, I saw Alice fall-"

"Ya didn't see shit, yer trippin' yer fuckin' face off! What yer seein' ain't real."

"But I felt it, she fell off her horse and I felt it."

"Nah, I was taking a piss and I heard ya fall off the couch. There weren't no horses, no Alice, you'll see."

Pressing his hand to his face, he can still feel the impact and sure enough the next day, there's a bump the size of a goose egg. When Daryl tried to explain it away to Merle, he chalked it up to the acid. Told him it made you see and feel things you'd never have normally experienced before and if those things were real, you were going to feel them even more intensely.

It's been almost ten years since the night with Alice and the tab of acid. After that night, Daryl wasn't sure how to describe it to people when they had asked him what it was like. After that first trip, Merle had Daryl selling tabs out by the high school, around the local teenage hangouts. He had said it would be creepy if someone like him was hanging around all those kids. Daryl still had a baby face at the time, all the girls around would be sure to buy from him before heading out to party that weekend.

"What's it like?" One of the girls asked him, batting her lashes like bambi.

Daryl shrugged. "Makes ya see shit, makes ya feel pretty weird too, I guess."

"What kind of weird?" She smacked her gum at him obliviously. A part of Daryl wished he was selling her a bum batch, but this was strong as hell. Sure to make her trip her pretty little face off, as Merle would say.

"Mmm makes music real nice. Makes ya see lots of pretty colors and stuff too."

"What? Like a fun house or somethin'?" She drawls, grinning up at him.

"Nah, like Alice in Wonderland. You'll fall down the rabbit hole."

"Really?" Her eyes widen in disbelief.

"Sure." Taking the foil pouch from his shirt pocket, he tucks it in her hand. "Ten bucks."

"What?" Look confused, slips a five dollar bill out of her shorts. "Merle said five?"

"Well, I say ten." Cocking a grin, he takes the money from her, slyly tickling her palm with his fingers.

"Happy tripping."

Walking away, he lights up a cigarette, pleased with himself for making a little profit for himself.

It hadn't taken long for Merle to graduate from manufacturing psychedelics to turning the trailer into a full on meth lab. Daryl wasn't keen on the idea initially, but when Merle had promised him how much money it would make them, he shut up pretty quick. They started out small, selling to tweaker housewives around town to moving up to truck stops and biker bars. Merle had his girlfriend and her buddies stealing sudafed from any pharmacy and drugstore they could get their sticky fingers on. Things picked up after a few months and before they knew it, they had a steady clientele. Knowing he didn't have much other chance but to stick with his brother, Daryl went along with it. Selling and distributing, taking the girls to make runs, he'd become Merle's right hand man in the operation and they were making good money.

It wasn't until Merle started smoking it that things got out of hand. He'd started becoming increasingly paranoid, telling Daryl that somebody he'd ripped off was looking for him, out in the woods watching, waiting for him to leave.

"There ain't nobody out there. Ya haven't slept in days, Merle. That's why yer tweakin' so hard."

"Nah, that ain't it. I don't gotta sleep to know there's eyes on me."

"Don't help ya got a brain full of drain-o and rat poison." Daryl shook his head, picking up a trail of beer cans from the night before.

"I bet ya it's that fuckin' bitch," Merle rubs his hand on his chin, "she's fuckin' around on me with another dealer. Never fuck a girl who uses, baby brother. Don't want ya fer yer dick, just yer drugs."

"She's just as bat shit crazy as you are but I don't think she's screwin' somebody else. Too busy pickin' her face and pluckin' her eyebrows to worry about anythin' else." Daryl grimaced at the thought of Merle's girlfriend. Since they'd started making and using, she'd dropped a lot of weight, her hair stringy and dingy, her face hollow and sunken out like a zombie.

"Wouldn't put it past her fer a fuckin' second. Bitch don't know when to stop."

A few days later, Daryl had gotten back from a deal, selling all he had to a group of burn outs from the community college one city over when he got a call on his burner phone from one of their buddies. Merle had been right. His girlfriend had been fucking around with somebody else. Not a rival dealer, but an undercover agent. By the time he got back to the trailer, Merle was gone and the entire place was ransacked, broken beakers and empty bottles of booze littering the ground.

Luckily, she'd only been out to get Merle, letting him take the fall for the entire operation. Feeling more lost and alone than ever before, Daryl was at a loss. What was he supposed to do? Merle had been the only family, the only friend, he'd ever known. The only path in life he knew to follow was the one lead by his brother.

Telling himself he couldn't fall into this shit anymore, this was his chance to get it together. Time to go straight. There was no reason he couldn't do it. Merle's friends weren't any of his, only by association anyways. If he could keep it together, keep his head straight, maybe he wouldn't end up in jail too. Looking for a job was the easy part, getting one was difficult. With what little had had left on him the day of the arrest, he was able to make it by until landing a job at an auto shop. Everything else he and Merle had made was seized, leaving him hunting for food until he got his first paycheck.

The money was shit, just above minimum wage, but it was better than nothing. Scrimping and saving over time, he eventually left the trailer, finding a cheap apartment close to the shop. Between his shitty truck and his equally shitty bike, Daryl was actually proud of the things he'd accumulated for himself, having nothing to show for his life prior to his brother's incarceration.

Beth Greene had always lived a sheltered life for the most part. Being the youngest child of three, it was no wonder her father kept such a close eye on her from the get go. The Green farm had been in their family for over 160 years and it was the thing that made her father the most proud, the thing that kept him going no matter what. Hershel Greene was not a bad man, or a mean one, but a strict one.

Having had a turbulent relationship with alcohol in his early years, Hershel had to learn life lessons the hard way, hardening him slightly. His first wife, Josephine, struggled to keep him clean and sober for many years, often resulting in screaming matches on the front porch of their farmhouse, echoing down the country road, her cries bellowing in the distance. Being a vet, Hershel was a very intelligent man, but it made it that much easier for him to succumb to his own demons. By the time his first child, Maggie, was born, he swore off alcohol entirely.

He kept his promise for many years until Josephine fell ill and died, devastating he and Maggie entirely. Doing his best not to fall off the wagon, Hershel tried to be strong for his daughter. Eventually, he met Annette, much to Maggie's dismay. Having a son, Shawn, from her previous marriage, Hershel had hoped that he and Maggie would become fast friends and their family could become one in time. Although Maggie was reluctant at first, she did grow to love her step mother and brother.

Beth was born when she was six, the final, complete addition to their family, making them one. Hershel promised that he would never let anything get in the way of his children leading happy, successful lives. And he didn't. Shawn and Maggie were expected to have high grades, plenty of after school activities, wonderful manners, all qualities an ideal child would have. In his eyes, of course. Beth did her best to follow suit, always much more timid and quiet than her older siblings. Often crying and getting her feelings hurt easily, choosing to play alone as opposed to riding bikes with neighborhood kids.

Hershel worried about his youngest daughter. He confided in his wife that maybe they were coddling her too much, wanting nothing but to tie her apron strings, knowing good and well that Annette was dead set on keeping her in her shell for as long as she could. Wanting to keep your children safe and keeping them exposed from the world are two very different things.

When Beth turned ten, Hershel and Annette decided it was time for her to learn to ride her own horse. Most times she'd sit behind Maggie or Shawn, little arms clutching tightly around their middles, excited but nervous to be so high up off the ground.

"Nelly is old and a little skittish, but I think you're gonna do just fine all the same." Hershel places his daughter on top of the saddle, checking her helmet one final time to make sure it was secure.

"You sure, Daddy? I know I took the lessons with Otis and everything but I'm still scared."

"You're gonna do just fine, Darlin'. Don't you worry." Tapping her nose with his index finger, he smiles at her, amazed at how much she's grown.

In only a few short months, Beth had become more independent. Hershel knew immediately the horse had something to do with it. At first she was hesitant, afraid to take the horse out any time her mother would encourage her to practice but by the time Annette was calling her in for dinner, Hershel had to practically rip her off himself.

After school every day it became a regular routine. Beth coming home, doing some homework and having a snack, then racing outside to saddle Nelly, helmet or not. As much as they'd threaten her to wear the helmet, Beth would often forget, running out of the house with it in hand, but leaving it in the stable along with her shoes. Nelly gave her a sense of freedom she hadn't known existed, the wind flowing through her hair, making her feel like she was flying. Her father may have called Nelly nervous but she had yet to see a paranoid bone in her body.

One Saturday, Hershel and Annette were heading to the farmer's market, leaving Maggie in charge of her siblings. Maggie wasn't a bad babysitter but she didn't exactly do much sitting. Primarily it involved watching TV and talking on the phone, but it was better than having Patricia or someone else come watch them for the day.

"Ya put on the helmet, you hear me, Beth? I ain't draggin your ass to the ER today, I can promise you that!" Maggie hollers from the porch as Beth runs to the stables, apple in hand for Nelly.

"Yeah, sure. After I feed her!" Ignoring her sister's warning, she hops up on Nelly, taking off for their favorite spot over by a small stream.

Normally when her parents were home, they kept a close eye on Beth, making sure she and Nelly didn't leave the safety of the farm, but knowing that Maggie wouldn't care or say anything, she raced to her destination excitedly. Taking off, she tightens her grip on Nelly's sides, feeling secure on the horse she loves so much. It only being the early afternoon, they'd have all day to ride around the farm and the surrounding woods, exploring further and further. The excitement of knowing she wasn't supposed to go this far pushing her to go further.

Between the woods and the farm was a small creek, surrounded by a small meadow. On days when she was able to escape the confines of the farm fence, or if she was lucky enough to drag Shawn or Maggie with her, this was her favorite place to go. There was something so calming, so beautiful and peaceful about this place. After reading iThe Secret Gardeni for a book report, Beth decided that this place would be her secret garden. Of course everyone in her family already knew about it, it would still be an exciting, secret place for her to go.

Coming up on the creek, she slows down, letting Nelly know she's ready to stop. Hopping off Nelly carefully, she kneels down in front of the cool, clear water, cupping her hands together for a drink. Savoring the relief on her dry throat, Beth smiles to herself. Looking up at her meadow, her very own secret garden, she thinks how lucky she is to have her own horse and all this space to roam, even if she has to sneak away to do it.

"C'mon, Nelly. Drink up." Smirking at her horse, she admires how beautiful Nelly is. Her chocolate brown eyes sparkling in the early afternoon sun.

The two stay side by side drinking for a while, until Beth decides to get back up. Not thinking to approach Nelly carefully, she puts a hand on her side. Instantly, the horse pulls back, knocking Beth down hard. A blow to the side of her head leaves her knocked out, just on the side of the creek. Coming in and out of consciousness, she sees the eyes of a man, dark, deep blue. Having never seen him before, she knows she can't place him, but she feels him there with her. His concern runs deep in her mind, almost like a pair of arms scooping her up, comforting her.

About thirty minutes later, Shawn finds her, frantically taking her in his arms, running back to the house as fast as his legs with carry him, screaming Maggie's name, hoping she's got the volume down on the TV low enough to hear him from outside. Not wanting to carry her any further than the porch, Shawn slams his fist on the front door.

"God damn it, Maggie! You weren't watching her!"

Maggie storms outside with a confused look on her face until she sees her younger sister obviously injured, blood gushing from the wound on her head.

"What happened? She wasn't even gone half an hour!"

"It doesn't matter! She's a kid, you know she's not supposed to go outside the fences. Especially on Nelly!"

While Shawn is busy trying to get a hold of Hershel, Maggie kneels down by her sister, propping her hands under her head. "I'm so sorry, Bethy."

Hershel was hysterical, an absolute mess. Having Shawn call an ambulance, he and Maggie rode with Beth and met their parents at the hospital. Maggie tried to hold it all together but she was a disaster too, knowing if she had been more mindful of her sister's wandering, they'd never have been in this situation to begin with.

Arriving at the hospital, Hershel wouldn't even look his eldest daughter in the eye he was so angry. This was the last thing that he had expected to happen. Maggie was absent minded, a real brat most of the time but he never would have thought she would be so careless to leave her little sister unattended for so long. While it ended up being only a mild concussion, Hershel and Annette were more careful than ever with Beth after that, Maggie losing all babysitting rights on top of being grounded for three months.

When Beth woke up, she swore she could still see the stark blue eyes of the man from her dream. She didn't know who he was but a part of her expected him to be there when she woke up.