A Click and A Bang
The room is deadly silent. For hours it remains this way until people file in. How did they get here? How were they notified? She doesn't know nor does she care. They're the least of her worries. Their presence doesn't even phase her. Everything is moving in slow motion. She can see several pairs of feet walking about the room. There are sirens going off outside the window but they sound miles away. The voices in the room are muffled and hard to distinguish. The only thing that's perfectly clear is the blood seeping through her hands. It's so red and so warm. Who knew blood could be that rich? The blood is so vibrant and so bright in comparison to the dullness surrounding her. Everything else is in the shadows, the blood is the focus. Her hands start shaking and the blood droplets trickle down faster.
"JJ, what happened?" A voice calls to her. There's a hand on her shoulder, a sturdy hand. A concerned face looks down at her. She doesn't move. Derek sighs.
Arriving home, JJ's exhausted. Work's been killer lately and she's working herself into the ground. She can barely keep up with everything so she's thankful when her mom offers to watch the kids for a while. Not only can JJ relax now, she can spend some much needed time with her girlfriend, Emily. They've been together for a while now, so long that JJ's starting to lose track. The team knows about them as does JJ's family and no one's given them grief about it. It hasn't been a perfect relationship, they still have times when they fight but they've never broke up. They always fix whatever's wrong. Lately with work pulling them apart they haven't really had a chance to be together and they're fighting more than usual. Tonight is just the kind of night they need.
Sliding the key into the door JJ goes to open the door but it doesn't budge. She tries it again without a change. Confused, JJ leans into the door trying to force it open but it still won't budge. She tries one more time, heaving the door open slightly. "Emily!" JJ calls through the crack. "Emily move whatever's in front of the door and let me in," JJ sighs. Tonight is not the night for Emily to act like a child, JJ's in no mood. "Emily," JJ tries again pressing against the door. It opens more but not quite enough. Giving it another shove, JJ slides her slim frame inside as she hears glass break. Looking around she notices there's a table in front of the door and at the other end of the table there's a broken vase. No doubt it broke from her pushing on the door. Confused about why the table was there in the first place, JJ bends to gather the broken vase. Standing up she hears a shot and feels a whoosh go over her shoulder and past her ear. The bullet hits the wall and JJ whips her head to follow it. Slowly she looks to the source knowing full well that, that missed shot happened on purpose. It's a warning for her.
"Emily?" JJ asks tilting her head. She's trying to remain calm and ignore the fact her girlfriend just fired at her.
Emily's sitting in a chair facing the door. Her glock is raised, aimed precisely at JJ now instead of the spot behind her. She says nothing, her brown eyes now cold and trained on JJ. Her attempt to keep JJ out didn't work as planned.
"Em, talk to me. What's going on?" JJ tries again stepping further into the house. Mistake number two.
People have been in and out of the room all day. No one knows what to do at this point. They're ready to move the body and they need to move her as well but both are proving to be difficult. JJ's frozen in place except for when they try to move her. Then she starts screaming and thrashing until they let her go and she resumes her position. Not even Derek can restrain her long enough and her teammates refuse to have her sedated. They know JJ and they know if they wait long enough and give her time to process she'll come around. At least they hope.
"JJ, can you tell us what happened?" Derek tries again. He slips his hand onto her knee and gives it squeeze trying to jolt her back to reality. JJ might as well be stone with how responsive she is.
Derek sits down across from her, staring intently at her. Blue and red lights fill the room; they're the lights from the cop cars outside. JJ looks at him a second, acknowledges his presence, before falling back into her trance. The woman barely blinks and Derek's desperately wondering what's going on inside her head.
Her mistake was walking into the house. Her second was continuing to do so. It didn't matter that she was moving slowly with her hands out, she was still a threat. "Take off your weapon and empty it," Emily instructed standing up suddenly.
JJ's at gun point, she's not in a position to argue. "Alright," she agrees reaching back and grabbing her gun. Emily tenses, ready to shoot if JJ tries anything. "Look, I'm emptying it," JJ brings the gun forward slowly, keeping it aimed down. She unlocks the magazine and places both the bullets and gun on a nearby table. "There, no more weapon." It's another mistake. Mistake number three.
Emily lurches forward, gun still aimed, and grabs the gun and bullets. She sets them behind her, eyeing JJ. "Go sit down," she instructs gesturing to the couch in the other room.
Enough is enough for JJ. "Emily cut it out, whatever game you think you're playing is getting old. If something's wrong just talk to me."
"I said sit down!" Emily yells stepping forward so she's in JJ's personal space. "Sit. Down." She growls again lifting the gun above her head ready to strike JJ.
JJ doesn't flinch. Her blue orbs lock with Emily's cold brown eyes. It's a staring contest for a moment before Emily slams the weapon into JJ's back causing her to fall. She receives another hit to the side of her face before Emily takes a step back. "Are you going to listen now?" Her arm is raised once more.
Rubbing at the side of her face, JJ looks up at Emily. She gives a tiny nod wondering what the hell is wrong with Emily. Gingerly, she stands up and makes her way to the couch.
"Where is he?" Emily demands the second JJ sits down.
"Where is who?" JJ questions. Who the hell is Emily talking about?
"Don't play dumb blondie, you know who." Emily scoffs throwing a glare JJ's way.
Blondie? Emily's never called her that before. "What the hell Emily?" JJ stands up. "Who are you talking about?"
Emily backhands her again. "You know who."
JJ falls back down, staring up at Emily. Then it clicks and her eyes widen. "Lauren?"
"Tell me where he is!" Emily yells but JJ has it right. She's back in the mindset of Lauren.
"Who? Ian or Declan?" JJ asks. Mistake number four.
"How do you know about Declan?" Emily asks grabbing JJ by her shirt and lifting her to her feet.
"You! You're the one that told me!" JJ shrieks back trying to wiggle out of Emily's grasp.
"Liar. I've never told anyone about Declan," Emily tightens her grip.
"Yes you did and I don't know where they are!" JJ screams shoving Emily away. Mistake number five.
"There are other ways to make you talk," Emily snickers popping back up. She yanks JJ by her hair and places the gun in the middle of her forehead.
That's enough to get JJ to stop. Her body shags forward. She needs to come up with something. "They knew you were onto me. They said they were moving him but wouldn't tell me where because they knew you'd get to me," JJ spoke with her eyes closed hoping it was convincing enough. She had to play into Emily's delusion.
With a disgusted sigh, Emily shoves JJ to the side and begins to pace. She needs to find them. She can't let them find Ian and harm him and especially not Declan. He's just a child, he's innocent even if his father isn't. First she has to take care of this pesky blonde. No doubt she's a spy of some sort, a lousy one at that but still. She knows about Ian and Declan and even knows her real name. How she came to know so much, Emily's not sure but she's already decided the woman cannot be permitted to live. Turning around, the brunette had every intention of killing the blonde but she was nowhere to be seen. Gun still drawn, she turned again only to be greeted by a roundhouse kick.
JJ could only play into the delusion so long. Not only because she didn't know how to fit into it but also because she knew Emily would kill her if she thought it meant saving Declan. She didn't want to harm her friend, her girlfriend, but her life was at stake. she needed to disarm her before she even began trying to reason with her. Her first roundhouse kick knocked the weapon out of Emily's grasp just as she had hoped. Her second one didn't go as well.
Expecting another kick to follow, Emily braced herself. When JJ's leg swung up, Emily grabbed it with both hands causing JJ to slam into the floor. She already had bruising and a black eye from the earlier hits and now her lip was bleeding. JJ swung her legs back, tripping Emily as she moved for the gun again. Quickly pushing herself up, JJ tackled Emily once more causing both of them to slam into the side of the coffee table and flip it over consequently sending the gun flying across the room.
"Stop it!" JJ screamed throwing a punch to Emily's face. Better to give her a black eye than end up dead. "Emily snap out of it!" JJ pleads holding Emily's hands preventing her from hitting her back.
"Get off of me!" Emily yells tugging her hands out of JJ's grasp causing the younger agent to fall forward on her. Snickering now that she has her in the perfect position, Emily flips them over as her hand wraps around JJ's throat and begins squeezing.
"Let. Go." JJ gasps digging her nails into Emily's skin until she draws a line of blood. Emily shrinks back at the fresh wound allowing JJ to push her off and roll backwards. JJ's breathing heavily. They're both trained agents and can handle hand-to-hand combat but this is different. This is against someone she loves. Not only that, Emily has slightly more advantage. She's not worried about hurting JJ, she wants to, and she's taller thus giving her more momentum to use again JJ. She has only one option, to be as ruthless as Emily is. JJ throws another kick, lower this time so she hits her knees. As Emily collapses, JJ pushes the table into her buying herself some more time. Skidding into the kitchen she draws a knife. Emily comes in seconds later. "Emily stop!" JJ's begging, "I don't want to hurt you," but if it means her life she will.
"As if you could," Emily rolls her eyes. She's forgetting how her most recent fall caused her mouth to bleed. "You also forgot one thing," Emily takes a step closer before pulling out the gun. The amount of mistakes JJ's made is running high. Knowing Emily would taunt her with the fact she had the upper hand, JJ uses this time to her advantage. She speeds toward Emily, stabbing her gut as she whizzes by and flees to upstairs. Frantically, she hides in their closet behind some clothes.
The knife wound delays Emily a few seconds. She has to remove the blade and place pressure on the wound before she heads after JJ. She climbs the stairs silently, wanting the blonde to think she still has the upper hand. She looks in every room carefully, not wanting her to have a chance to get away. She passes the closet, notices the blonde hair, but keeps walking. Pretending to leave the room, she hides behind the corner in the master bathroom. A few minutes later when JJ moves by, Emily pulls her back thrusting the knife into her side as she does so. She lets out a laugh as JJ feebly attempts to crawl away from her. Yanking her back she slams her backwards onto the title floor. Pain sears through JJ's head and she winces. She knew Emily was strong, stronger than her, she just never knew to what extent.
When the medics and law enforcement arrive they don't notice JJ's wound at first. From her position it's hard to see even if she isn't covering it up or putting pressure on it. She wants to die. After what she's done she can't live with herself. Somehow, someway someone notices her wound. Unable to move her, the roll her shirt up slightly, placing gauze over the wound until they can remove her. JJ doesn't fight them. She has no energy left. All she can do is sit and stare. It's unnerving, having her so still, so quiet, and so focused. Tears glisten in her eyes but otherwise there's no sign of emotion. She's hollow, numb.
"How is she?" Derek demands stepping out of the vehicle.
Considering why they were called over, the officer assumes which "she" the agent is referring to. "She has a few wounds, one that looks serious, but she's unresponsive. It's a pretty weird scene." He tries to explain.
"Has she been treated?" Derek asks walking up to the house.
"As much as she can be." The officer sighs.
"What do you mean? Why is she still up there? Don't you know how to do your job?" Derek can barely control his anger as they continue.
"You'll understand when you go up." The offer explains and stops walking, letting Derek discover it for himself.
The officer was right. The scene before Derek is heartbreaking. One he'd never thought he'd ever have to experience. The smell hits him long before he enters the room. It's fresh and strong, the smell of spilt blood. He notices there's traces of it everywhere. In the living room, on the steps heading upstairs. There's a trail of it coming from the bathroom. Grimacing he tries not to imagine what happened. Nor does he allow himself to look to the giant pool of blood at the end of the bed. Instead he locks in on JJ, taking in her appearance. She's not the JJ he knows. She's even worse than when he found her in the barn after the dog attack and he never thought it was possible for her to be worse than that. Until now. It takes him a few moments to gather up his courage and fully step into the room. When he does he goes straight to JJ but it's clear she's somewhere else.
JJ's being dragged from the bathroom, her blood smearing on the titles. Her head aches and her vision is spinning. She can see the bruises and blood on Emily though and she's a little impressed with herself that she was able to get a few marks on her.
"Do you feel like cooperating yet?" Emily sneers dropping the fistful of hair she's holding JJ by. "If not then I can always dispose of you," she bent down so she was inches from JJ's face. "You're not as valuable as you think you are," she said placing the gun by JJ's temple.
With a scowl on her face, JJ reached for Emily's wrist before using her other hand to wrestle the gun out of her grasp. Not willing to give it up so easily, Emily maintains her hold on the weapon and both continue struggling to gain control of it. JJ bends it towards Emily, Emily bends it towards JJ. Back and forth the gun goes until a slender finger finds its way around the trigger and pulls. It's a complete accident that the trigger's even pulled and another one that it was pointed into Emily's chest. Neither woman have kevlar on, so any shot could be deadly. A shot right in the chest is absolutely deadly.
As the bullet pierces her skin, Emily's grip on JJ and the gun go slack. Her eyes widen at the realization and she backs up looking down at the wound. Blood flowing out of it already. Wide-eyed she stares at JJ as she begins to fall back her hands frantically trying to hold pressure on the wound. She coughs, blood forming in her mouth. The pain is unbearable but she only has to endure it for a few seconds.
Stunned and shocked, JJ drops the gun. It falls near Emily who doesn't notice. "No! No, Emily," JJ screams tears forming. "No, hold on Emily. I'm sorry, I'm sorry that wasn't supposed to happen." Desperately JJ places her hands over Emily's chest trying to stop the blood flow. "Just hold on Em. Please hold on. Please I'm sorry. That wasn't supposed to happen!" JJ's hysterical begging for her girlfriend's life. "I didn't mean for that to happen. I just needed it out of your hands. I never meant to hurt you," she cried tears rolling down her cheeks and onto both of their hands.
The second Emily's gone, JJ knows. She feels it when Emily's hands lose their grip, when her girlfriend's body seems to become part of the floor. The blood's still flowing but the life it came from is gone. "No, Emily, no!" JJ screams again lifting her body into her lap. She cradles the raven haired beauty, kissing the top of her head over and over again. "You can't be dead," she says through the tears, "You can't be." Blood is staining her clothes and the carpet but JJ doesn't care. She's just murdered her girlfriend.
It's about fifteen minutes later when JJ finally sets Emily's body back down but only because she's screaming. "No!" It's a simple word but the way JJ screams it isn't human. She starts rocking back and forth, her hands running through her hair covering it with blood. She smears it over her face when she tries to wipe the tears that won't stop falling. "This can't be real," she cries crawling backwards until her back hits the dresser. It takes a few more moments of staring at Emily's lifeless body before she forces herself across the room. The tears slowly dry up and JJ's gaze is locked on her hands. They're still coated in blood, fresh blood. They're the hands of a murderer.
The fading sun makes the normally white room look golden. This time of day was always JJ's favorite. She loved lying in bed with Emily, watching as the room changed from white to gold to a hint of orange as the sun went down. Only today when it happens, she doesn't even noticed. It's been hours and she hasn't stopped staring at her hands.
The police lights have faded away. The emergency medics have removed Emily's body. She's zipped up in a body bag now on her way to the morgue. Only a handful of police officers remain and her teammates. The carpet is permanently stained from the blood and the bathroom tiles don't look much better. The blood has dried on JJ's hair and face but the blood on her hands is still partially fresh. Her lips' stopped bleeding, her stopped pounding long ago. Her right eye is closed shut from the black eye now taking it's place. She hasn't moved or spoke in hours. Derek's tried everything; moving her, talking to her, touching her, getting in her line of vision. Nothing's worked. When a police officer and Rossi walk back in, Derek sighs and stands up.
"Nothing," he says solemnly.
"We have to take her," the officer says.
"She needs to get out of here," Rossi adds.
Derek nods and the three men approach her slowly. Derek gives it one last shot. "JJ?" He says it gently, as if he's talking to a child. She responds.
She looks up at them and blinks slowly, as if waking up from a dream or trying to process things.
"JJ do you remember what happened?" Derek asks moving in front of her once more. He's hopeful this time. She says nothing, only looks back and forth between him and the others. "JJ, you gotta tell us what happened," he tries again with an encouraging voice.
They're about to give up again and force her out. They try one last tactic before they do so. They each get up slowly and walk towards the door. They hear a mumbling and come back.
"Tell us what happened," Derek encourages once more as they returned.
JJ looks from her blood hands to Derek's warm, comforting face. "I killed her," she says brokenly. "I killed her."