Hey guys! This is my first story so sorry if it kind of sucks. I appreciate any constructive criticism if you have any. This is sort of crossover but I'm not classing it as that as there is only a few appearances of characters from other things. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own the world of Harry Potter or any other characters from other works of fiction.
"Ugh Snape is such a dick" I said to my best friend Ella.
"Ugh, I know right!' she responded.
"Did Emily stay behind again?" she asked.
"Yeah, that nerd!" I responded.
My name is Laura Woon and as you can probably guess, I hate potions. I fluffed up my hardcore hairstyle while Ella and I waited outside Snape's lair for Emily. As I examined my badass shoes, Ella nudged me.
"Look!" she hissed "it's your boyfriend!"
Ugh. It was my arch nemesis Oliver Wood. Ella waved at him, smirking, as he hurried past.
He caught sight of the gesture and gave the two of us a look, raising his eyebrow.
"Can I help you?" he asked, Scottish accent heavy.
"Nope, we're good," I said.
"But she waved at me and she's a Slytherin so I don't think the wave was just a pleasant gesture," he said, the smallest hint of humour tugging at his face.
"She has hand seizures. Terrible disease. Poor dear ends up waving at the most ghastly people," I explain, a small smirking gracing my lips.
"You must get so sick of her waving at you then," he retorted. I rolled my eyes.
"Don't you have a broom to go and shag or something?" I said, already annoyed by his stupid face.
"Aye, 'cause I know how to ride a broom unlike you and your team of pansies," he said whilst walking off down the hall. Bloody wanker. My team was looking pretty good this year. We'd just had tryouts and managed to get quite a few new talents in. I'd show him. The Hufflepuff vs Gryffindor watch was only a month away and I was going to make sure we wipe Snape's stinky classroom floor with them.
And speaking of Snape, Emily had finally decided to grace us with her presence after spending a ridiculous amount of time with him.
"I hope you used protection," I said to her as the three of us started making our way to the Great Hall for lunch.
"Ha ha, very funny," Emily said rolling her eyes.
"Anyway, it's lunch time. Don't you need to go for a piss as usual?" I asked teasingly.
"I'll see you guys in there," she said, turning around and heading for the girls' toilets.
"THINK ABOUT ME!" Ella yelled after her.
"Hey, look, it's your boyfriend," I pointed out as Seymour Guado made his way over to us. Ella squealed and ran into his arms.
"Hello, my princess," he greeted charmingly, kissing her cheek.
"Hello to you too, my good sir," Ella giggled. I made silent gagging gestures beside them which they were completely oblivious about, too wrapped up in their romantic little world.
"My dear, I have some tragic news for you," Seymour said. Ella's face turned quickly from her bright smile to a puzzled frown. "I have just received an owl from my father informing me that I am betrothed to Patricia Fudge," he explained solemnly.
"The Minister's granddaughter?" Ella questioned, tears beginning to form in her gentle green eyes.
"The very same. I am incredibly sorry to depart with you, but this arrangement has been set prior to my birth and cannot be broken. And so, it is for the great good that I no longer see you romantically. Goodbye, my angel." And with that, he swooshed dramatically away.
"Well that was weird," I said, breaking the silence that had followed. Tears silently streamed down Ella's beautiful pale face.
"Hey, don't be sad. Err, come here," I said pulling her into a somewhat awkward hug on my part. Comforting people wasn't exactly my forte. "If he's willing to leave you for Patricia fucking Fudge, densest witch to ever have existed, then you don't need him in your life," I said.
"You're right," she sniffed, wiping her tears from her face.
"I'm always right," I said. "Now, do you want to go to the kitchens and get some ice cream?"
"That sounds like a good idea." And so we set off towards the kitchens. Once there we were greeted by a load of little house elves.
"What can we do for you, Miss?" One of them asked.
"The Break-Up Sundae please guys," I said. The house elves busied themselves around the kitchen.
"You've never broken up with anyone before," Ella stated.
"I know, but I felt like I needed to give them an excuse for wanting such an extreme sundae. I've had it quite a few times since," I explained. Ella gave a small laugh.
"Your sundae is ready," the little house elf said placing the large treat on the table in front of us. We sat down.
"This is huge, I can't eat all this. Do you want to share?" Ella said. I shrugged and grabbed a spoon. We dug into the mountain of ice cream, brownies, cookie dough, marshmallows and cream.
"This is the perfect break-up sundae," Ella commented.
"I doubt I'll ever get to have it after a break-up, because I'll never have anyone to break-up with," I said sadly.
"Don't put yourself down, any guy would be lucky to have you," Ella reassured me.
"Yeah, tell that to them," I grumbled and shovelled a large spoonful into my mouth.
"I think Wood fancies you," Ella said. I choked on the mass quantity of ice cream in my mouth and quickly tried to swallow it, resulting in a harsh brain freeze.
"What!?" I managed to choke out. Ella rolled her eyes. "I'm 1000% certain that he does not. The guy is married to Quidditch," I said.
"So are you, it's a match made in heaven," Ella exclaimed. It was my turn to roll my eyes.
"I'm not that obsessed with Quidditch," I defended.
"Alright, bitches!" I yelled from my broom. First quidditch practice of the year and I was determined for it to go well. "In case some of you don't know, our first match is against Gryffindor. Now, the Gryffindor captain is a fucking nazi so he'll be training his team at ridiculous times in the morning, for ridiculous lengths of time and doing ridiculous drills. So, what do you think I'll be doing with you? All of that, but much harder," I said. A few members of the team groaned. "Last year was an embarrassment. Poor Pat Keswick had to leave knowing his team had the worst defeat in history. Now, I'm not leaving at the end of this year but I'm definitely not going to captain a bunch of fucking useless twats. We've got some great new talent in but you're not talented enough yet to take on Gryffindor so you need to train hard," I finished my speech and grabbed my broom. "Now, this practice is going to be fairly simple as I want to assess your strengths and weaknesses. Off you go." I took my beater's bat and pushed off the ground feeling the familiar rush of wind on my face.
After about two hours of hard practice, we were so very rudely interrupted.
"Oi, Woon! Your time's up!" I heard that dreaded Scottish voice call up to me. I looked down and there indeed were the Gryffindor team, patiently waiting for the pitch. I rolled my eyes and began heading back to the ground.
"Alright guys, we're done for the day! Rest up, we've got an early start tomorrow. I want to see you all here at 5:30AM," I shouted to my team as I reached the ground just in front of the Gryffindors.
"Bloody hell, she's worse than Wood," I heard one of the Weasley twins mutter.
"Those poor Hufflepuffs," the other agreed.
"The pitch is all yours, Wood," I said. "You're gonna need all the practice you can get. My team is looking good this year."
"Yeah, that's why you're starting practice so early," he countered with a smirk. He had me there. Bloody wanker.
"Yeah, well, fuck you." Smooth, Laura. Really witty that one. Wood chuckled. I stormed off in a rage back to the locker rooms. Who does he think he is, out-witting me? And what was I doing? Me, unable to come up with a sassy retort? I undressed angrily and got into the shower even more angrily, turning the temperature up to scalding hot to match my anger. I'm a bit miffed, in case you can't tell. However, the heat of the water hitting my back calmed and soothed me back into a more relaxed mental state. A good fifteen minutes later I finally stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me, shivering slightly as a went back into the cold of the main locker room. I took my clothes out of my locker and was just about to drop my towel when there was a noise behind me.
"Erm," the noise so very intelligently said. I turned around only to find the very last person I wanted to see me in a towel (besides maybe Snape).
"I'm kind of not wearing any clothes at the moment so I would like to kindly ask you to leave please, Wood," I calmly stated trying not to let my embarrassment show.
"I, erm, just came in to get some gloves. Sorry," he said. And to think, he was usually so very good with words.
The draught from the door was very cold on my exposed wet skin and Wood was taking his bloody time finding some gloves. I began tapping my foot impatiently.
"Calm down, woman, I'm looking as fast as I can. No need to get your knickers in a twist," he said. And of course, my mouth as alway acting completely independently from my brain just had to say it.
"I'm not wearing any knickers." I winced internally at my own words. Absolutely wonderful.
He turned to face me, his eye brow raised.
"Are you flirting with me, Woon?" he questioned smirking. I scoffed.
"You wish."
"Hardly." And at that he left without his gloves.
"Wanker," I muttered as I began to dress myself.
I began to make my way up towards the castle. About half way there I was almost tackled by a blonde Slytherin.
"Merlin, Ella! A simple 'hey Laura' would have been nice," I say as I regain my balance.
"THERE'S GONNA BE A THING!" she yelled excitedly.
"Oh wow! A thing! I've always wanted a thing!" I say sarcastically.
"I KNOW, IT'S GONNA BE GREAT!" She continued to yell.
"First of all, I'M RIGHT HERE YOU DON'T NEED TO YELL. Second, what is this wonderous thing you speak of?" I ask.
"A Halloween Ball," she squealed. I grimaced.
"I hate parties."
"I know," she said.
"Where are we gonna get costumes from?" I question.
"That's the fun part. The Head Boy and Girl are gonna deliver each of us a costume that corresponds to another persons, who will be our date," she explained. At this point we had reached the castle and entered the Great Hall.
"Assigned dates? That sounds awful. What if they pick someone horrible? What if they put me with a first year for a laugh?" I said.
"It's fifth year and above only," she said.
"Well that makes me feel a little better. Oh my god, what if they put me with a Slytherin!?" I said in horror. Ella gave me a look. "No offence," I added. "It's just, the Slytherins are mean to me because I'm a Hufflepuff."
"Who was mean to you!? I'll castrate them, blend their genitals and then feed it to them as soup!" She said angrily.
"Don't worry about it, bro," I say. We sit down at the Hufflepuff table. "Anyway, how are you holding up? Has your fancy boyfriend begged to have you back yet?" I ask stuffing some potatoes in my mouth.
"No," she sighed sadly. "He avoids me in the halls and has moved away from me in classes and he keeps giving me these sympathetic looks which I could do without."
"Why don't you find someone else? It might make him jealous," I suggested.
"Why, that is a brilliant idea, Laura!" She exclaimed.
"I try," I said.
"But who?" She said. I scanned the room. I spotted a rather nice looking Gryffindor.
"How about that guy?" I said indicating to the boy.
"Which one?" She asked.
"The hot one. Brown hair. Kinda muscular. Gryffindor," I said.
"Wood?"
"Why on earth would I suggest you go out with Wood?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry. Forgot you fancied him," she said.
"I do not fancy Wood!" I said defensively.
"Of course not. Now who did you mean?"
"The guy three seats down from Wood."
"Terra?" She asked.
"If I knew his name I would've just said his name instead of going through all this cafuffle. Now, do you want me to go and ask him out for you or do you want to do it yourself?"
"Can you do it, please?" I rolled my eyes and got up from my seat. I went over to the Gryffindor table and tapped the boy on his shoulder. He turned around and looked at me curiously.
"Are you Terra?" I asked. He nodded. "Well, my friend Ella over there wants to know if you want to go to Hogsmeade with her this weekend?" I asked.
"The cute blonde Slytherin at the Hufflepuff table?"
"That's the one."
"I'm up for that, yeah," he said smiling.
"Excellent, I'll tell her the good news." I turned around to head back to the Hufflepuff table when I caught Wood looking at me strangely.
"Take a picture, it'll last longer," I snapped at him. He rolled his eyes.
"Don't flatter yourself," he said turning back towards his food. Weird bloke, that one.
I walked back to Ella and told her the good news.
"He said yes?" She squealed excitedly.
"Of course he said yes, sheesh woman, calm down," I said. She suddenly frowned.
"But who will you go to Hogsmeade with? Emily said she can't come because she's revising for an Ancient Runes test," she said.
"I might just stay here. Chill for a bit or something. I do have quite a lot of homework to catch up on actually but I probably won't do that," I said.
The weekend came by quickly and soon enough I was stood in the Entrance Hall waving Ella off as she went on her date.
"Are you sure you'll be ok?" She asked for the bazillionth time.
"Yes. Considering I have never once had a date to Hogsmeade and you used to go with Mr Fancypants, I'm quite used to just staying here on my own. I might go bother Emily in the library at some point. Now go and have fun," I said and so she left. I sighed. What to do. I have a Potions essay due on Monday, but why do that now when I can do it on Monday morning? I made my way to the Hufflepuff common room and went up to my dorm. I glanced around the room looking for inspiration. I saw my broom perched beside my bed. I could go for a fly. My mind made up, I changed quickly into a pair of joggers and t shirt and put a headband into my short hair to keep my fringe out of my face. I grabbed my broom and began the journey to the Quidditch pitch. By the time I had arrived it had started drizzling with rain. You know the kind that doesn't look like a lot but gets you really wet? Yeah, that kind. But I wouldn't let that bother me. I mounted my broom and set off speeding through the air, the wind and rain hitting my face. I closed my eyes and smiled, taking in a deep breath and sighing out contently. I felt the urge to burst out into a bit of Defying Gravity from Wicked, but before I could my path was obstructed by something. Or should I say someone.
"Shouldn't you be in Hogsmeade?" I heard the familiar Scottish accent say.
"I could ask you the same question," I retorted. Wood was hovering just in front of me. He was completely soaked from the rain and I refused to look anywhere but his face as I noticed his white t shirt. I then realised that I was in no better a state.
"No time for Hogsmeade. Got a game coming up," he said.
"I don't see your team," I said.
"I gave them the day off."
"You think you can afford to give them the day off?" I asked.
"Aye, I'm not worried." I narrowed my eyes at him in a glare.
"Why don't you think we can beat you?" I said my voice raising.
"Because you're Hufflepuff," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I flew closer to him the anger clear on my face.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I snarled.
"It means you're too soft. You're predictable. You're afraid to do anything risky," he explained. And with that, I slapped him. "Fu-" he groaned but it interrupted him.
"That risky enough for you!? Was that predictable!? Still think I'm too soft!?" I practically growled at him.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, woman?" He said shocked.
"Well, Wood, let's see, shall we? I've been thrust into the captaincy of a team that everyone thinks is shit and now I'm going to be blamed if they continue to be seen as shit. I'm trying to transition from OWL level work to NEWT level and I'm practically failing all of my classes. YOU seem hell bent on my making my life shit with your stupid face and your stupid accent and your stupid fucking fan club of third years. I'm almost 17 years old and I've not once had so much as a date to Hogsmeade never mind an actual boyfriend. And now I'm out in the fucking rain probably catching pneumonia talking about my fucked up life with the one person who I never thought I would," I yelled all this very quickly and was out of breath by the time I had finished. It felt kind of good to get that all out of my system but Wood was looking at me weirdly. "What!?" I said exasperatedly.
"You've never had a date to Hogsmeade?" He asked. That dick. I went to slap him again but he caught my wrist.
"Let go," I said through gritted teeth. He ignored me. I tried to pull my write from his grip but it was too strong. His light brown eyes pierced my blue ones with a curious look. "This is harassment," I said. He chuckled lightly. His face moved closer to mine. My eyes widened in shock. "What are you-"
"WOOD! WOON! THIS IS A QUIDDITCH PITCH NOT A BROOM CLOSET. TAKE THIS ELSEWHERE!" I looked down to see Madam Hooch shortcut ing up at us from the ground. Wood let go of my wrist and flew down without so much as a glance at me. What the hell just happened? I landed my broom but he had already run off to the castle. Weird bloke.
Ella found me a few hours later in the library with Emily doing my Potions essay.
"Are you actually doing homework?" Ella asked as she sat down with us. I nodded, not taking my eyes off the parchment.
"She's not said anything all afternoon," Emily explained.
"That's weird."
"How was your date?" Emily asked. A dreamy look came over Ella's face.
"He's perfect," she sighed. I snorted. Ella gave me a look. "Oh, yeah? So how was your day, Laura?"
"Pretty uneventful," I lied.
"You're lying," Emily said.
"Oh my god, Emily! No one asked you!" I said.
"Someone's touchy," Ella said. I groaned and threw my head on the desk. Madam Pince shhhed us angrily.
"A weird thing happened," I said, though it came out rather muffled by the table.
"What kind of weird thing?" Emily asked.
"A really really weird thing that I don't want to talk about," I said lifting my head up. "So what happened on your date?" I asked.