A/N: Everybody has secrets...

July 15

Olivia Benson was sick of everything; the yelling, the screaming, the way her mother blamed her for everything. At seventeen, she shouldn't be the one cleaning up her mothers cans of beer and bottles of wine on an regular basis because Serena was passed out on the god damn couch. She let a few tears fall as she threw clumps of clothing into her old, black duffle bag and held back a sob as she pondered what the hell she was going to do in the middle of a Wednesday night in the heart of New York City. Maybe she could stay at a friends house, but who would be willing to take her in without calling Serena. God knows what she would do when she found out. Olivia touched the top of her cheek that was beginning to swell and turn a sickish purple from her mother's hard blow. It took all of Olivia's self control not to hit her back, to make her cry and beg for forgiveness from her daughter, but Olivia couldn't. As painful as it was to admit, Olivia still loved her mother. She didn't know why or how she could love someone that neglected her her whole life, but it was the way it was and there was nothing she could do to change that.

Olivia slowly zipped the duffle bag shut and listened for signs that her mother was awake after passing out once more. All was silent. Quickly, but quietly Olivia flung the window attaching to the fire escape open and gently laid the bag on the metal of the stairs. There was something she had to do before she left for good, though.

She unlocked the bedroom door and crept across the hall, seeing the faint glare of the television screen as some stupid reality show was playing. Olivia lightly opened the door close to the kitchen and saw the figure of her sister huddled under the sheets, her shoulders visibly shaking.

"Alexandra," Olivia said softly walking over to her and laying a hand on Alex's back. She heard a muffled sob escape Alex and if her heart wasn't already broken it would have been hearing her sister cry over something that should've been avoided.

"I don't like when you fight with her, Olivia," Alex sobbed, tugging the covers over her head so she could look Olivia square in the eye. "She's a drunk, you can't do anything about it, and instigating her, yelling back at her will just fuel the fire! Why do you have to be so god damn selfish?," Alex cried, her hormonal fifteen year-oldself in a frenzy of anger, as well.

"Alexandra," Olivia said once more in such a hushed tone that even shebegan to feel the sadness and pain creeping up on her. "I'm leaving." The words rang out empty; everything was silent. Alex's light blue eyes welled with more tears.

"Why?," she croaked out, not being able to properly talk right now. Her whole world was crashing down around her and she couldn't do a thing about it.

"I-I have to leave here, Al," Olivia tried to explain the extremely complex situation to her, knowing that she may never understand why her sister left her alone with a monster. As she struggled to tell her what she planned to do, Alex just cried and begged her to stay.

"Going out west won't do you any good, Liv," Alex objected like the lawyer she wanted to be someday. "You're underage." Olivia nodded, having thought this through as carefully as she could in a span of a few minutes.

"In a few months, I'm turning eighteen. I-I'll..." She paused thinking again before speaking, "I'll change my name, tell everyone my parents died and that I'm an only child. I'll get a job and hopefully apply for a scholarship somewhere." Alex squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head lightly, her long blonde hair falling over her shoulders. Olivia knew it was a lot easier said than done, but she didn't want to think about it right now; she'd dodge the bullets as they came.

"Will you ever come home?," The question seemed to echo off the walls of Alex's small bedroom. Olivia was barely given enough time to mull over the thought of flying back out to New York City a few years from now only to find that Alex and Serena were homeless or worse, dead before they both heard the sound of her mother stirring from the other room.

"I don't know, kid." Olivia sighed panic rising in her throat, knowing the only reason she wouldn't come home was because she wouldn't be able to handle the truth again. She was running like a coward, leaving her little sister to fend for herself, and not planning on looking back.

"Go." Alex whispered looking into Olivia's dark brown eyes one last time before she launched herself into her arms.

"I love you, Liv," Alex sobbed knowing that the only thing Olivia would have to remember her was the tear stained shirt she was wearing.

"I love you too, baby-girl." A moment later she was gone and Alex was left staring into an empty room never feeling so alone.