This is different than any story I have ever seen on FF. I wrote it almost two years ago, but didn't have the guts to publish it. Thanks to KareBear (who also BETAed it) and Beegurl13 for giving me the confidence to post it. I didn't give it a genre as you, the reader, get to choose what happens.

I will add the standard disclaimer here: I do not own Twilight. I wish I did, but I just enjoy borrowing Stephenie's characters!

For readers of my other stories, I will post them as soon as they get recovered from my old computer. It is a work in progress that should be complete by Friday!

So here's the instructions. Read chapter 1. See that was easy. At the end of chapter 1 there is an author's note. READ IT AND FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS, since you will either read chapter 2, 3 or 4. If you try to read them all in order you will be in BIG TROUBLE.

GOOD LUCK!

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"Please," 16-year-old Edward begged. "Let's be each others firsts. That way, no matter what, we'll always remember each other."

"Okay," Bella said tentatively, looking up at her best friend since birth. He smiled at her, his special crooked smile that always made her heart burst. She had been in love with him for as long as she could remember. He had been in love with her just as long.

He took her hand and guided her to his room. Everything was already in boxes and it brought tears to her eyes.

"It isn't forever, B," he said kissing her lips, and using the pads of his thumbs to wipe the tear tracks from her cheeks. "I'll come back for you as soon as I can. I promise."

"I love you, E," Bella said as he pulled away to catch his breath. "Always and forever."

"I love you, B," he said in response as he placed his forehead against hers.

They slowly removed each other's clothes. They had been this far plenty of times but had never gone all the way. But now, this was different. It was their last chance. Tomorrow, Edward would be gone.

For Edward, sex with Bella was all he had ever dreamed it would be. She was so warm and soft, and she loved and trusted him. He could see that in every movement. It was a memory he would hold until his dying breath, of that he was certain.

There were no rainbows and butterflies on Bella's side. It was awkward and painful… and perfect because it was her E; her Edward. When they were done, they lay skin to skin for a long time. He caressed her bare form, committing it to memory, the feel of her against him. She laid her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. When they heard movement downstairs, they put their clothes on but returned to the bed and held each other like their lives depended on it. Eventually they fell asleep wrapped tightly together. When Edward's parents came to the room to tell them it was time for Bella to return home, they didn't have the heart to separate them, and even Charlie Swan didn't want to pull his daughter from Edward's side for their last night together.

The next morning, Charlie held Bella in his arms as Carlisle pulled the family car out of the driveway for the last time. He could feel the way that she trembled as she remained stoic, waving as the car moved up the street. It wasn't until the sob broke free from her throat that he finally let her go. She didn't even look at him as she bolted up into her room and cried her eyes out.

Edward had watched Bella for as long as he could before turning around, his heart breaking, not knowing when he would see her again. He pulled his hoodie over his head so that it covered his face and shed his own tears. His mother heard his quiet sniffles and patted his leg a few times, but she said nothing. There were no words that would soothe the ache he was feeling; she knew that because she wasn't faring much better herself.

Edward and Bella had managed to keep in touch by email for a few weeks, at least until the Cullen family got to the small African village that would be their home for the next two years. There was no telephone service, let alone internet. Neither of the young lovers knew that it would be nearly two years before they heard a word from each other again.

Two years later:

Bella looked at the calendar in her room. It was today. This was the day that Edward was supposed to come back to her... not that it was going to happen. Bella had written an email to him every day for the last two years... and never gotten a response. After a while, she had given up waiting for one, using the daily email as her journal of sorts, a journal that documented every change she had experienced since he left. She numbered them by days. Day 1 was the day he left. Day 17 was the last day he responded to her emails, and day 734, was the day that he was supposed to return home.

Day 19: I haven't heard from you in 2 days and I can't help but worry. Keep safe Edward. I love you.

Day 22: I went to your house today and laid on your bed. It was so empty without you there. I miss you E. I can't wait until you return.

Day 29: I've been sick on and off for days. My father finally brought me to the doctor's office because he was so worried. I don't know which of us was more shocked by the results of my blood work. I'm pregnant. I think I'm in shock still. My father has been so great. He told me that he would support me no matter what I choose. I haven't told him yet, but there really was no choice. This baby is a part of you and I will protect him or her with all that I am.

Day 38: Morning sickness should really be called all day and all night sickness. It doesn't matter though; I just know that our little peanut will be worth it.

Day 90: End of first term and Christmas break. Well at least it is for some people. For others, namely me, it is the end of junior year at Forks High. That's right, Mr. Banner and my dad decided it would be better for me, and less disruptive to the school community if I completed my classes from home this year. In other words, keep the pregnant junior out of here. I don't mind too much. At least I won't be faced with Jessica, Lauren and all the jocks without you anymore. I miss you E and I love you. The peanut loves you too; I know it.

Day 112: So I am 18 weeks pregnant today, and you've been gone for 16 weeks. Confused? I was too until Dr. Gerandy said that they started counting from two weeks before conception. I have a little baby bump now, though it can still be covered by a big sweatshirt, and nobody in town knows yet. Isn't that a miracle? I know it won't be long until the tongues start to wag. I get to go and see our peanut today and maybe even find out if it is a boy or a girl. I think it's a boy... or at least that's what I dream. I miss you so much, E. I wish you were here with me too. I wish I knew if you were getting these emails. We love you.

Day 113: It's a boy. We have a son. I think I like the name Anthony for him. What do you think? I love you E. Anthony loves you too.

Day 130: I felt him move today! I thought I felt him for a while now but today I was sure. I wish you were here. I know you wouldn't be able to feel it yet, but I know you would be excited too. In other exciting news I have finished junior year. It turns out working from home with little else to distract me is good for me. Perfect GPA is still in effect. Mr. Banner has suggested that I go straight to work on my senior year so that when the baby gets here, I don't have as much work left to do. We love you, Daddy!

Day 180: Anthony is so active now. He moves all the time! Senior year is flashing by like crazy! The work is easy and since I don't really go out and do anything I do a lot of it. I can't wait for Anthony to get here. I want to see if he has your hair and eyes. I hope he does. We love you!

Day 196: Hi E! So two things happened today. First I am 30 weeks pregnant now and I feel like I am as big as a house BUT that's not what happened. Anyways, I was in the kitchen making breakfast this morning when Anthony decided to stretch, I mean really stretch, and my dad walked in. He stared at me with a stunned look on his face with his mouth popped open and everything. What happened you ask? Well you could see him, really see him! Clear as day, his little foot or hand pushed out right through my t- shirt. It was funny but it really got me thinking. In 10 weeks we're going to be parents! The other thing that happened, well it was bound to happen, and actually I'm surprised it took this long. I was at the grocery store when I bumped in to Lauren. And I literally bumped into her. I knew she couldn't see my baby bump through my oversize coat, but I was pretty sure I felt it. When I got to the till, I was certain of it. Tanya Denali was my cashier and she asked me when I was due with a sneer on her scrunched up face. I guess she thought I would try to deny it or something because she blanched when I told her. I'm not shamed of being pregnant with our baby. I love you E.

Day 266: So today is the day. Well that's what the doctor said. Unfortunately for me your son seems to think it's fun to make Mommy look like a beached whale for a little longer. I have missed you for 266 days now, but I never wanted you home as desperately as I do now. We love you E!

Day 270: I'm sorry I didn't email yesterday. I was a little busy. You see Anthony Edward Cullen was born last night at 11:27 pm. He weighed 7 pounds and 9 ounces and he is so beautiful. He has your hair and even your eyes. Everyone told me that babies are always born with that muddy blue color, but not Anthony. Nope, his eyes are the brightest green you have ever seen. He is so beautiful, E. I wish you were here with us. My only consolation is knowing that we will see you again soon. Only 464 more days. I love you E. I'm enclosing two pictures of Anthony. See how much he looks like you. You're a daddy now. We love you. I'll make sure that Anthony knows all about you for when you come back.

Day 344: I'm a high school graduate! My dad took Anthony and I to dinner at the lodge to celebrate. Anthony slept the whole time but it was great. Mr. Banner said I could register to take some online courses through UW, that way when I am ready to start college I will be ahead and it will be easier to be a mom and a student. Are we still going to UW together E? I want to believe that we are but it's been almost a whole year since I have heard from you and I'm starting to really worry. I love you, E, always, and Anthony loves you too. I tell him about you every night and show him pictures of you too.

Day 382: It's been a year. A whole year since I have heard from you. I love you. Please come home safe and sound. We love you, Daddy!

Day 634: Happy first birthday to Anthony! He loved his cake and got completely covered in blue frosting. His hair is pretty much untamable now just like yours. He has eight teeth and he can say more than 30 words. I'm Mama, of course. And he sees you in pictures and calls you Dada. He is such a good baby. I can't wait for you to meet him. He's so fun. He's walking and into everything. I wonder what he will call your mom and dad. I wonder if he will play shy with you or if he will come and give you 'ississ" (kisses) right away. I miss you E. As the time gets closer for you to come home I am starting to worry. What if you don't come home? What of you do, and you're not ready to be a daddy? I'm so scared of either possibility. I love you E! Always! The birthday boy loves his Dada. I enclosed a pic of him covered in icing. He looks so much like you!

Day 733: I still haven't heard from you. I thought that you would call or email as soon as you got out of the desert, but that had to have been days ago now. Are you really coming home to us? Do you even know that you're a daddy? I'm going to sleep now, praying for tomorrow. We love you E!

The date on the calendar was circled in red. Was it ominous or joyous, Bella couldn't decide. All the same, she got Anthony up and dressed him in the cute little outfit that she had chosen for today. The day passed slowly. Every second seemed to take an hour. Finally, at 8:00, Bella knew she couldn't wait any longer to put her tired baby to bed. Her eyes stung with tears as she worried over Edward's fate. Once Anthony was settled for the night, Bella returned to the front room, and kept vigil in the living room window, watching for a car in the driveway next door.

It was 3:00 am when she woke up and looked around at her surroundings. She had fallen asleep waiting. She sighed sadly before looking out the window one last time. She blinked, and blinked again, as Carlisle's Mercedes was there. The doors and the trunk were open, meaning that they had just gotten home. Bella threw her shoes on without another thought and dashed out the door.

THIS IS A CHOOSE YOUR OWN ENDING STORY.

If you want HAPPILY EVER AFTER, skip to chapter 4.

If you want ANGST, skip to chapter 3.

And if you want HEARTFAIL continue to chapter 2.