Rayna stood in the middle of her kitchen with that ring crushed tightly in her closed fist.
The place where I land…is the palm of your hand…
She closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to spill over. As if that would stop them.
Time seemed frozen, as she heard Deacon's footsteps retreating behind her. Her mouth wouldn't speak. Her feet couldn't move. Seconds seemed like hours as behind her closed eyelashes years of hurt and pain and wanting washed over her like a tidal wave. She saw the years flash before her, all those nights she had cried herself to sleep after putting Deacon in rehab the third, fourth, fifth times, and wondering if he wouldn't survive it this time. All those years of trying to make a family with Teddy, trying to convince herself that she truly was in love with him. All those nights Deacon had played on stage next to her only feet away, a few feet that felt like 10,000 miles. And then Luke had come into her life almost too easily, like a breath of fresh air, no drama, no expectations. No secrets.
Hours later, she was still wide awake, sitting at the vanity in her bedroom, staring at those two rings, burning circles into her palms. Staring at her reflection in the mirror. Trying to figure out who this stranger was staring back at her.
Please, please tell me what to do, she wanted to cry out. Anybody. How much it wearied your soul, trying to constantly do the right thing for everyone else, while the things your own heart desired got pushed into a dark corner. She had pushed what she wanted and needed aside for everyone else for so long that she had forgotten what it felt like to want something so bad that it nearly overtook you. Around two A.M she picked up her cellphone and called her sister. "Tandy? Can you come over."
"What?" Tandy said. "Is everything alright? The girls?"
"The girls are fine," she said. "It's me. I need…someone to talk to."
"Seriously…" Tandy sounded exasperated on the other end of the phone. "Right now?"
For a second Rayna was 12 years old all over again, just needing someone, wanting her mom, and Tandy like always was all she had to fill that void.
"Yes," she said firmly. "Is that….do I hear Bucky in the background?!"
"No," Tandy said quickly.
"I hope y'all aren't wearing pants then cuz they're on fire. Liar!"
"Okay, okay" Tandy grumbled on the other end of the phone. "Just give me a half hour. And I wasn't wearing pants, just for your information. Thanks for interrupting!"
"This is important," Rayna said. "Seriously."
"I bet. See you in a few."
"Thanks. The front door is unlocked. Goodnight Bucky." she said wryly into the speakerphone.
She heard his sheepish reply in the background. "Goodnight, Ray."
She was still sitting there staring at those two rings when Tandy came trudging up the stairs and into her room a half hour later.
"This better be good," she demanded.
With a sigh, Rayna held up the ring from Luke.
"Yeah, saw that. I was there, remember? " Tandy said dryly. "By the way, I'm quite fond of Luke but you should tell him that asking you to be his "ball and chain" rates a 9.9 on the corniest proposal ever scale. Literally. He's on the list one step behind Kanye."
"Yeah," Rayna said, biting her lower lip. "Well how about telling someone you know how to love them and can be the man you need? How does that rate?" In the other hand, she held up the ring from Deacon.
"Oh my god…." Tandy dropped onto the edge of the bed. "Seriously? Is that what I think it is? I thought you gave it back to him months ago."
"I did," Rayna said with another troubled sigh. "He came here tonight. Oh god, it was just….Tandy, I didn't even know what to say. Shocked the hell out of me. Made me start thinking about all this stuff…
"Well damn, no wonder you called me over here. This is way more important than sex."
"Ya think?"
"So did he…I mean, he really asked you?" Tandy was sitting cross legged on the bed at full attention, all thoughts of getting home and back out of her pants forgotten. This was what sisters were born to do. Be there when you needed them. Even at 2 am.
Rayna sighed. "He did. And it wasn't a down on your knee, flashy kind of thing. It was…his own way. Deacon being Deacon." She smiled involuntarily at the thought. He never could manage to do anything like anyone else. She both loved and hated him for that. Sometimes it was exasperating. Sometimes it made her life harder. But he was just Deacon, and that about him she knew would never changed. He followed his own path.
"Uh oh," Tandy said, hands on her hips. "That look. On your face. Means we have a bigger problem than you think."
Rayna waved it away. "Oh, stop. I got enough to worry about without you trying to decipher my "looks."
"Rayna," her sister said in a no-nonsense voice. "I have seen that look on your face before. You're not telling me the entire story."
"Well…" she hedged. "He did kiss me."
"And?"
"And I …may have kissed him back," she conceded. "A little." Just a little? Well now her pants should have been on fire. She had no doubt that if Deacon wouldn't have been the one to pull away, they probably would have ended up in the bed behind her. She'd felt it, whether she wanted to or not. That desperate pull between them, the one that never quite went away, not for 26 long years.
Not since the first time she'd ever met him, when she'd been a girl with a song and he'd been a boy with a guitar and they'd had their whole lives ahead of them, naïve enough to think it was going to be easy as long as they were together.
"Aha. I told you I've seen that look before."
Rayna rolled her eyes. She chewed her lower lip and stared down again at the two rings in her hands. "What do I do? Seriously? I mean…the idea of breaking either of their hearts is awful. This is all just…I didn't expect any of this, you know? I thought things with Deacon were done. I thought we both moved on, and…this is crazy, right? To even think about saying yes to him?"
"I want to be honest with you," Tandy said. "But you need to be honest with yourself. Do you really think you've moved on? Or did you just put him in that little invisible box and push it aside because it was easier and safer?"
She thought she had. But standing in that kitchen with him looking down at her with such hope in his eyes, god it was killing her. She wanted to believe him so badly, all those things that he'd said. That the dark days were really behind him. There was no more secrets, no more lies. There was truly nothing else standing in the way of them being together and having the life with him she'd once dreamed about. He had changed. She knew that much was true, and she knew he had meant every word. It terrified her.
If she gave him that ring back a second time, she knew she'd never see it again. For all she knew he'd probably drop it in the Cumberland and watch it sink to the bottom. This was it. This was the now or never chance. And if she chose never….they were still going to have to be Maddie's parents.
And if she chose now….that meant she'd have to break Luke's heart. Luke would be any woman's dream man. God, he was so good to her, successful, smart, and handsome.
She'd be a fool to turn him down.
"Well, this is ridiculous," she said grumpily. "I can't be with both of them. Maybe I'll just tell em both no."
"I think the thing to consider…." Tandy said slowly. "Is that if you still feel anything for Deacon. Because that….battle between the two of you has been going on for a long time."
"Well of course I feel something. I mean we're friends. We're in a good place now. We're parents, and co…writers, and all this other stuff…we're always going to be in each other's lives. I know that." She buried her face in her hands. "Ugh, I don't know what we are. I thought I did and he just…completely threw me."
"Well honey, you cannot marry Luke if you feel anything for Deacon. Because you'll be back to exactly where you were with Teddy, putting Luke right into Teddy's spot, and that's not fair for him either. It's all or nothing with the two of you, you know that. I've told you that before. There's no middle ground."
"I know," she whispered. "But I need there to be."
There had never been exactly the right label for what her and Deacon were. "Entangled" was her favorite word to describe it. He'd been a part of her life for 26 years. She'd figured it out once. 62% of her life had somehow been entangled with Deacon's. All the best and worst parts of their lives twisted together like branches on a tree.
"I don't know why anything can't just be easy." She muttered.
"If it was easy, it probably wouldn't be worth it. I'm gonna go," Tandy said, patting her on the shoulder. "And you need to get some sleep."
Oh, like that was gonna happen.
"Don't rush into anything. IT's not like either of them are going anywhere, you should take some time and figure out what YOU want first. You always put everyone else first, sweetie. Stop worrying about them and worry about what makes you happy."
"The great and wise Mouth of the South speaks again," Rayna said dryly.
"Get some sleep," her sister said firmly. "And I'll forget you called me that when I talk to you tomorrow."
"Thanks for coming over so late." With a sigh, Rayna she leaned her head back against the chaise lounge and closed her eyes. And she dreamed…
1992 Oklahoma State Fair
The show was supposed to start in 30 minutes, and Deacon was nowhere in sight.
Rayna was madder than a riled up hornet.
"Where the hell is he?" She demanded to Bucky, stomping around backstage in her boots. People were chasing her down trying to put on her mics, touch up her makeup, but she waved them all away. "This is goddamn George Straight, Bucky. He promised me this would never happen again. I swear to god, I am going to kill him. With his own guitar."
"I don't know," Bucky said, "but what do you wanna do?"
She bit her lip, watching as the guy playing his set before her came off the stage.
Luke Wheeler. She'd met him a few times. He'd asked her out more than a few times and she kept saying no. He just kept asking. Persistent, she had to give him that much. He was a little too stereotypical cowboy for her. A little too smooth with the ladies, and a lot of them at that.
She bit her lip. And snagged his arm as he came off the stage and walked by her. "Hey there, stranger."
His face slid into an easy smile under his cowboy hat. "Well Ms. Rayna Jaymes. How you doing?"
"I've been better," she admitted. "I seem to be short one lead guitar player. Any chance you'd want to sit in?"
Luke's eyes darkened. "Where's Deacon?" Sure, him and Deacon Claybourne were buddies. He wouldn't call it friends. You could have a beer with your buddy and still not consider him a friend. They'd both been playing around town long enough, and he'd heard the rumors about how Deacon was dragging himself downhill and on the verge of taking Rayna with him.
"That," Rayna sighed. "Is the question of the night. So will you do it?"
"Can't say no to you, now can I?"
She sighed in relief. "Thanks, Luke. I owe you one."
"We'll worry about that later," he said with a wink, holding his hand out. Someone handed him a beer and he took a long swig. "Gimme 15 minutes with your band and I'm good to go."
That was the first night Luke took Deacon's place. It wouldn't be the last.
It wasn't her best show, she was distracted, angry at Deacon, kindof half-hearted into her songs, but she muddled through the set.
"You wanna talk a walk?" Luke asked her when they were done packing up.
She wanted to go back to her bus, crawl into the little back bedroom, and cry. But really, what good would that do.
She swallowed. "Sure. Let's take a walk." It been hours and still no word from Deacon.
Later on, as George Strait did the last number on his set, the two of them found themselves stuck on top of the ferris wheel, high above the fairgrounds, watching the world buzz under them. The stars seemed so close, she felt like she could reach out and touch any of them.
He liked her. She knew he did. Women never said no to him. But she didn't have the heart to tell her that even after the crappy night she'd just had, her heart was in a different place.
They were on top of the world. Literally. Listening to George play "Cross my Heart", and all the poor guy could do was sit there and listen as she went on and on about Deacon, about how worried she was about him, about how he could be so talented and go so far if he could just quit drinking.
And Luke knew, listening to her ramble on and on about this guy who had let her down, that he didn't stand a chance.
"He's not gonna change, you know," Luke said quietly. "Why do you put up with it?"
"Why?" Rayna looked at him blankly. "What do you mean, why?"
"He lets you down over and over again, Rayna. Why do you keep allowing it?"
"Because I love him." She said. "Why else? Isn't that enough?"
"Do you think that's enough to fix him?"
"I don't know," she said, suddenly feeling embarrassed and a little pissed off. What was it Luke's business anyway? He hardly knew her. He could have any woman he wanted. She was about to go tell him to find another one.
Thank god, the wheel started moving again, and they didn't say another word until they were both safely back on the ground.
"Thanks for sitting in," she said to him. "Really. I appreciate it."
"No problem," he tipped his hat, and then kissed her on the cheek. "Good luck, Rayna. I hope some day you get that answer."
He disappeared into the crowd, women immediately flocking to his sides.
She stood there, wondering if he was right. If it would ever be enough.
It would be years before she saw Luke again in more than casual passing. And she had never really got that answer. She was still wondering if it would ever be enough.
"Good morning, beautiful."
She woke from the dream, startled. Deacon's ring was still closed in her hand, Luke's on her finger.
Damn, I was kinda hoping all that was a dream.
No such luck.
Luke was kneeling next to her chair on the floor.
"Well, look at you, down on your knee again," she teased.
He grinned. "Think I promised you some pancakes," he said. "You hungry?"
She glanced at the clock on the wall. 8 am. "Teddy should be bringing the girls home shortly."
"I better get to work then, meet ya downstairs." He dropped a kiss on her cheek and sauntered out of the room.
Las soon as she saw him go, she went to the bureau and slipped that silver ring back into the little blue box where she had kept it for the greater part of the last 15 years.
The girls arrived as Luke was flipping the first batch of pancakes.
"Arrived" was a nice way of putting it.
Maddie stormed through the kitchen like the devil was on her heels with a pitchfork.
"Well good morning y'all." Rayna said cheerfully.
Maddie just gave both of them a death glare and kept right on moving towards the stairs. They heard the door slam a few minutes later.
Daphne came in followed by Teddy a few minutes later.
Daphne looked real quiet and sober. "Hi, Mommy," she said. "I'm going to go upstairs and put my stuff away," she trudged out of the room slowly.
Rayna gave Teddy a look with raised eyebrows. "What did you do to my sweet girls?"
Teddy glanced at Luke. "Can we talk in private?"
Luke looked annoyed as they went into the office and Rayna closed the door behind them.
"What's all this about?"
Teddy raised his eyebrows and looked pointedly at the ring on her finger. "I think you know."
"Listen, Teddy," she said exasperatedly throwing up her hands. "We've been through this before, we're divorced so you can't-"
"This isn't about me," he cut her off. "You may have noticed the girls are really upset about what happened last night at the concert."
Rayna sighed. "Well, it was unexpected. But they'll be fine. They love Luke. I'll talk to them about it."
"Honestly, I'm a little surprised too, Rayna, that you would say yes about something like that without consulting them. I thought after the way I screwed things up with Peggy, you would consider that. Maddie cried half the night."
Rayna didn't really know what to say. "Well, I didn't know it was going to happen, Teddy," she defended herself. "I'm still kind of in shock myself."
"But he did. And he didn't consider them either. Think about that." Teddy turned and stalked out, leaving her standing there wondering what the hell had just happened and how the happiest occasion ever was slowly turning into nothing but one giant disaster.
The pancake breakfast was a stilted affair.
Rayna made Maddie come out of her room, and Maddie sat slumped at the table picking at her food. Even Daphne was unusually quiet.
"Well," Rayna said with false cheerfulness. "Did y'all have a good week at Daddy's?"
Daphne nodded her head.
Maddie said nothing.
"You like the concert last night? What did you think? Pretty awesome, huh?"
No response from the peanut gallery.
Luke raised his eyebrows. "Talkative bunch today, ain't they?"
"Well Luke's kids are in town," Rayna said. "So I was thinking it would be nice to do something with all of us together today. How about going out to the ranch and riding some of his horses?"
Daphne looked like she was considering it. "That might be fun," she said slowly.
"I hate horses," Maddie muttered, pushing her pancakes around her plate.
Rayna said, with a gentle warning tone in her voice, "There's no need to be rude, Maddie."
"Aw, just let her be," Luke said with a laugh, "kids these days. Think they're entitled to do whatever they want, huh?"
Maddie stopped pushing her pancakes around and gave him the iciest glare Rayna was pretty sure she'd ever seen. My god, what has gotten into my sweet girl?
"Mother," she said. "Can I please be excused."
Rayna was stunned at the hostility.
"Well….no, "she said. "Because you're being rude. To all of us. Especially Luke."
And he was kind of like….staring back at her. Like a challenge or something.
Saying I don't care if you like it or not, kid. This is how it's gonna be.
Rayna was surprised to see that, and not at all sure she liked it.
Sure enough, without further warning, Maddie's icy look melted away, and she burst into tears.
She got up and ran from the table.
Rayna stared after her in shock, and turned to Daphne. "Would you happen to know anything about what that was about?"
"Well," Daphne said in a quiet voice, earnestly looking at her mom. "If someone told you that you were about to have three dads, how would you feel?"
She was stunned speechless. Staring after her teenage daughter, staring at Daphne's face, which didn't really look too happy either.
She glanced at Luke across the table, who just looked….seriously annoyed.
And she wondered again if any of this was the right thing.
Rayna knocked on the doorway to Maddie' room. She was hitting those guitar strings so hard and loud that she wouldn't have been surprised if the girl's fingers were bleeding.
Just like someone else she knew, Rayna thought with an involuntary smile. Two someones. Letting out her frustrations through her music. Maddie was more like both of her parents than any teenager would probably want to admit.
"Can we talk?" She asked.
Maddie stopped playing abruptly.
"I don't really want to talk."
Gently Rayna took the guitar out of her hands and set it aside on the bed "Well I do. That whole scene in the kitchen down there wasn't very nice."
Maddie didn't say a word. She couldn't, because anything she knew came out of her mouth right now would be construed as "not very nice" by her mother.
"I know this was all a surprise, but…." Rayna tried to find the right words. "It's a good thing, Maddie. Try to see it as a good thing. Luke is good to you girls, and we'll be a family, and-."
"And what?" Maddie said bitterly. "And we all live happily ever after? Didn't you already marry the wrong man once to try and give me a family?"
"Madeline Grace!" Rayna said, appalled. "I don't know what has gotten into you, but-."
Maddie jumped off the bed. She went to her desk and started stacking books and papers.
"We already have a family, mom, "she said. "You and Daphne and Dad and Deacon…we're a family. Even if it is a weird one. Adding a third dad to the mix really isn't necessary."
Deacon's words from the night before came rushing back at her. You and me Ray, that's how it's supposed to be. Maddie and Daphne….and you and me.
Rayna sighed. God, this was hard. Teenagers should come with an instruction manual, she decided.
"I want to go stay with Deacon," Maddie said, now moving on to stuffing clothes into an oversized bag. "I already called him last night, he said it was okay if you did."
Oh god, the last thing she wanted right now was to have to face him.
"Um…okay. I suppose I could …drive you over there."
"Don't even bother." Maddie said. "I'm sure he doesn't want to have to see you either, you know, with that stupid ring on your finger. I called a cab."
Okay, that was it.
Rayna stood up, hands on her hips, and switched to angry mama bear mode.
"That's enough," she said firmly. "Yes, you may go stay with Deacon. Because you asked so nicely." Not."As long as you cut the attitude out right now, and apologize to both me and Luke beforeyou go."
Maddie grabbed the guitar that her mother had laid across the bed and snapped it into its case.
Her movements were slower now, not angry, just sad.
"Fine," she said quietly. "I'm sorry, Mom. I really am. I just….want to stay with Deacon for a little while, okay? I feel like he needs me."
She brushed past Rayna and left the room. No sugar for her mama. Not even a goodbye.
"Hey, I gave you life, you know," Rayna called after her, trying to lighten the mood. "A hug would be nice."
Ugh, teenagers. With a sigh, she got off Maddie's bed. She started wandering around the room, looking at all the things. Remembering what it was like when Maddie been very small and this room had first held a crib, then later a miniature princess bed, shelves of babydolls and puzzles. Now it was so different, everything white lace and roses. Makeup and perfume on the vanity. Pictures of her friends tacked to every surface. High heels in the corner.
Her little girl was growing up.
She'd never gotten to be this age with her own mother. It pained her, all the time, wondering what it would be like to have Virginia there to turn to in guidance in situations like this.
What do I do, Mom? What do I do with her? With him? Both of them?
She walked over to the bureau. Next to a white fuzzy bunny, there was a framed picture of Maddie and Daphne at a recent concert. Deacon had his arm slung over both of their shoulders.
They had the biggest smiles she'd ever seen. They were happy. It was a stark comparison to the two unhappy girls sitting at the breakfast table this morning.
It tugged at her heart. And made her doubt once again if she had made the right choice by letting Luke put that ring on her finger.
With a sigh, she put down the picture and headed downstairs.
Daphne had finished her breakfast and disappeared.
And Luke was still sitting at the empty table. Just staring at his plate. Looking…well, Rayna actually thought he looked…not even pissed. Completely rattled.
"Hey," she said with false cheerfulness.
"Oh hey," he said, standing up as she brought him out of whatever he'd been thinking about.
"Maddie was supposed to apologize when she blew through here like a tornado," she said. "Did she?"
"Uh…yeah," he said. "She sure did."
Some apology, he thought as he relived in his head Maddie storming into the kitchen a few minutes earlier.
"You know, being rude to your mama is pretty uncalled for."
Maddie gave him a fierce glare as he stepped in front of her as she headed for the front door. "She wants me to apologize to you."
"Well, I really think you should. I know this is going to be a change for you girls, but you'll get used to the idea of having to share your mom."
"You think that's what this is about?" Maddie said. "Sharing her?"
"Isn't it?"
"Do you like sharing her with Deacon? Cuz Teddy, you know my other dad, he didn't."
Luke's eyes narrowed. "Listen, you might not be my kid but there's this thing called respect that I think you need to learn in a hurry. Your mother raised you to have better manners than that. And adult relationships are none of your damn business."
Maddie knew she had hit a nerve with that last comment, and she knew she was way beyond over the line. But she was so mad at all of them, she didn't really care. They could ground her for the next two years if they wanted. Her life was already ruined anyway.
She laughed, her voice dripping with all the teenage sarcasm she could muster. "I already have two dads. I don't need a third one so stop trying. You want an apology? Fine. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you can't see that my mom is just using you as an excuse because she's afraid. I'm sorry that you have this disillusioned idea in your mind that we're all going to be one big happy family and Deacon is just going to go away, because we're not and he isn't. Sorry for the reality check." And she stepped around him, walked out the front door, and slammed it hard.
Now, Rayna was standing in front of him looking distressed. "I'm really sorry she acted like that. I don't know what's gotten into her lately."
"No worries," he said, pulling Rayna into his arms for a hug. "It's all good. She'll get over it."
He tried to act like it was all good, but the kid's words kept playing over and over in his mind.
Do you like sharing her? He's never going away.
The part that pissed him off was the most that he knew even said out of anger…
That every word Maddie had said was harshly, undeniably right.
Rayna pulled back and tipped her head to look up at him. "Something's wrong."
"No, I'm good," he said with an easy smile. "I got some stuff I gotta go take care of today. Meet up with ya later for dinner?"
"Sounds good," she agreed, still looking unsure. "Are you sure nothing's wrong?"
"Nope. See ya later then." And he walked out.
She just stared after him, mystified.
What the hell was that?
Deacon opened the door, and Maddie was standing there with her guitar case and a backpack slung over her shoulder. He'd been expecting her. Rayna had texted him a half hour ago saying she was on her way over. What he hadn't expected what the tearstains on her cheeks.
It just about broke what was left of his heart after last night's escapades.
Maddie swallowed back a sob. "Hi Dad," she said. "Is it okay if I stay here with you? For awhile?"
He just lifted his arms and she flew into them for the biggest hug.
He felt a little like shedding some tears himself.
It took awhile for Maddie to calm down, and he just waited patiently as she sat on the sofa and fidgeted with a magazine, flipping the pages, not really reading.
"So…he said cautiously. "You wanna talk about it?"
It. They both knew what "it" was.
"I hate him," Maddie said flatly. "I hate both of them."
Deacon sighed. "You don't hate them."
"Yeah," she said pointedly. "I do. Who proposes to someone without even asking their kids first. Isn't two dads enough? Three is bordering on ridiculous."
He couldn't argue with that.
"Listen," he said quietly. "You love your mom, so don't say you hate her. Those are fighting words, and you know she would do anything for you. She has. She gave up more to be your mother than you will ever understand until some day when you have kids of your own."
Maddie's eyes darkened for a minute. "well, I don't hate her," she conceded. "But I hate that she's marrying him."
Me too, kid, he wanted to say. I did my best. He wanted to believe that little sliver of hope was still there. That the look on Rayna's face, in her eyes, had meant something. That the fact that she'd leaned into that kiss, into his arms, had to mean something. He'd convinced himself the entire drive home last night that he'd done the right thing by going over there and laying it all on the line.
But then he'd woken up this morning and realized he'd basically asked her to take off a 250,000 diamond for a 20 year old eternity band and a guy who scheduled his life around AA meetings.
She'd be crazy to say no to Luke Wheeler.
"Can't you…do something?" Maddie said now, sitting in front of him frustrated and sad. And there was not much he could do about it except try to make her feel better. "I mean…tell her not to or something?"
"Maddie…." Deacon said slowly. "What I want more than anything for your mom is to see her happy. You want that too, right?"
Her lower lip trembled.
"If she really….loves Luke, and Luke makes her happy…I think both of us just gotta try real hard to be happy for her, okay?"
She nodded slowly. "Okay. I can try. But if this is the way it's going to be….I want to start staying here with you more. Would that be okay?"
"I would love that," Deacon said, a huge smile crossing his face. It had been a shaky road, leading up to stuff like this, and he'd tried to be real careful letting Maddie steer their relationship, letting her decide how much time she wanted to spend with him and not push it. Hearing her say those words was amazing. "You really wanna hang around with an old guy like me?"
Maddie just laughed, and so did he.
"I'll talk it over with your mom and see what she says," he conceded. "Now let's stop being all sad and stuff and go do something fun. I got a rehearsal at 4 but other than that, we got the whole day."
So Maddie forced away the sad feelings for a little while, just because she knew it would make her dad feel better to see her smiling.
She seemed a little better after that, he thought, but still pretty quiet all day. Thinking, he knew she was still thinking about all of it.
Deacon was too. It was hard not to. It was on the front of the newspaper when they passed the stand on the corner. It was even on the damn radio. Ugh. Luke Wheeler and Rayna Jaymes were literally everywhere.
Later as him and Maddie were sitting across each other at the pizza place working on a giant pepperoni pie, he asked her "a penny for your thoughts?"
She shrugged. "Just…um.. you know, thinking about what you said this morning."
"Which part?"
"You know what you said about wanting her to be happy…." Her voice trailed off.
"Yeah," Deacon said quietly. "I meant it."
"Because that's what you want for people you love, right?" she said carefully. "You want them to be happy."
He could see exactly the direction this conversation was headed.
His kid was way too grown up for her age.
"Yeah," he said, avoiding her eyes as he gathered up the box with the leftover pizza. "Ready to go?"
Maddie couldn't get that thought out of her head. Because that's what you want for people you love. Because he DID love her mom, enough to let her marry another guy again if it would make her happy. That was just about the saddest and nicest thing she'd ever seen a person do in all her 15 years. She was pretty sure she had the most amazing dad in the entire world.
It also meant she was gonna have to find a way to bust up this Wheeler/Jaymes wedding idea.
Even if she got grounded for the rest of her life doing it.