Disclaimer: I do not own nor claim to own this franchise or any of it's characters.
Author Note: I am sure some of you remember the nightmare that is, was HighWay NightMares. I have finally decided to redeem myself by using the same playlist I used to write it again. The story was inspired by the song I=Nightmare, in the appropriate style of reversal this story is inspired by I=Fantasy and it's evil twin I=Delusion and yes still I=Nightmare. I hope that those that were forced to sit through the trollop can forgive me. And thus I present to you:
Fickle Things
Dreams are fickle things. The make you remember things you'd rather not. You'd rather not recall the bright purple eyes in the middle of the night. You'd rather not recall the flick of the silver blade penetrating the hapless man as he thought he was protecting you. The nightmares will not cease, can not cease. I don't deserve release. He visits me in my dreams. He visits me in my dreams. Thinking this is our penance he remains resigned. Foolishly not seeking answers, foolishly not seeking release. It's absurd. Ah he's too haughty for his own good. I don't want to sleep. I don't want to sleep. He'll be there and I miss him of course. I do miss him. But when I sleep I don't want to wake and this world needs me, breathes me. I can't release my destiny for his sake. I can't release myself for the sake of a foolish man. And know I can't bear rest, I can't bear sleep, I can't bear sweet dreams or sour memories of moments lost. I can't, I can't bear losing myself. Sleep takes me despite my protests.
"Hey there sexy lady."
"I need to wake up."
"But you only just got here."
"I can't stay with you."
"But I'm lonely where you're gone."
"Go visit someone else when I'm awake then."
"But I caaaaaannn't"
"And why not?"
"Cause."
"Cause why?"
"Cause it's against the rules."
"What rules? What are you gibbering on about now?"
"You know, it isn't important. Sorry I bothered you. I guess I'll go back to wandering your memories."
"No! You can not go there!"
"I can do anything I wish."
"No you can't you haughty little queen."
"Well then catch me and I won't bother you or your memories."
"No! Be an adult! It's not funny, I have to wake up!"
The man runs of into the blackness which is the space of my head. Nightmares, memories, blurring purple eyes as they sob because he doesn't deal well with emotional stress. No matter the strength he tries to show he can't, he can't, he can't remain strong as I can. He isn't funny like his friend and he isn't strong like his hero so he makes up for the lack of a mask to hide behind with haughtiness and false strength.
I chase after him. The dark bites at me and tries to pull me deeper into my mind. I bat it away effortlessly. I don't have to go back. I don't because I'm strong. That's why he can't leave my mind, because sadly, sadly, sadly, he can never be as strong as me. Isn't that sorry? Because I'm too strong he can't leave. Irony perhaps?
"Boo!"
Two arms wrap around my waist. I sigh. I push him off.
"No."
He pouts and lets go.
"But I'm feeling playful."
"I'm sure you are but I won't stay."
"But I'm lonely."
"No more buts. I will be here tomorrow you must be patient. I have work to do and thus can not sleep."
"I don't want you to leave!"
"Stop being a baby, what happened to all your strength?"
"Strength is an illusion."
Suddenly the darkness of my mind bats at me like a cat with a mouse again. The paws of the desiring deepness and blackness that ought to be buried deep inside me hits me and draws blood. In all seriousness sometimes I'm actually afraid of coming here. How much longer before I never wake up?
"Well I don't know. But what I do know is that it won't be that bad."
"Bad? The world needs me so yes it will be that bad."
"The world doesn't need you, it's got Yuusei."
"He doesn't understand."
"Yes he does. He's a hero and you've done some pretty unheroic things."
"Such as?"
The flash of a silver blade and the widening smirk of a woman that wasn't sure whom she was stabbing, Clearly she was in the throes of dementia. Clearly she was losing herself to her memories. Clearly she was losing to her music box of time to which she held so tightly that blood had dripped from her hands. Clearly she had lost the remains of her sanity. Clearly, clearly, clearly, clearly, she was trapped in a nightmare from which there was no escape. The blonde had dropped to his knees and looked up with sorry eyes with purple reflecting the vanity, the haughty, the illusion of everything.
"I'm sorry."
"Are you alright?"
"Huh? Oh yes. I'm sorry, I must have been dreaming, dreaming."
"That's ridiculous."
"Glad to see I brought you ought of your mood."
"Oh that, I was trying to make you less sad."
"Sadness is coded on every one of my bones and my tissues."
"Than I guess we'll be sad together. Crying fantasy tears."
"You're just a dream."
"Well maybe you're just the dream as I'm as real as you."
"This world's all just dreams and fantasies and nightmares fused into my waking moments."
"Memories are mixed in too."
"And you are only here to keep me here."
"I suppose you could say it like that."
"I suppose you could say I love you."
"I suppose I could but you wouldn't believe me."
"You say it every night before I leave."
"Because someone needs to say it to you and who better than me?"
"I'd rather it be someone real."
"Real? I am real as I was real. I'm as real as you want me to be. I'm not just your fantasy."
"Well you are."
"Well I might be but I'm yours and that means you care for me."
"How can I care for you if you're dead?"
"Believe hard enough."
"Both you and I understand that that's bull."
"Well yeah but it seemed like the thing to say."
"I have to leave."
"No you don't, not yet."
"Yes I do."
"I'm lonely."
"I'm not tired."
"I'm scared."
"I'm alive."
"Just go then. I have shadows to keep me company anyway."
The torn and tattered jacket he wears has almost fallen off completely. It finally does when he walks away. I hold the wrecked thing to my cheek and sure enough it feels real. Ah aren't dreams, fantasies, memories, delusions fickle things? Fickle things that make me stay from the sheer force of the personality.
I walk slowly back to the door when I enter my mind. I pull at the handle and it's locked.
"This isn't going to make me stay, open the door!"
The man stands beside me.
"I didn't lock it, I can't lock it."
"Then who did?"
"You did."
"That doesn't make any sense. The world needs me."
"No it doesn't, you need the world. To prove that you're right. To make you feel strong. In here you're as weak as I am to your own strength. Shadows of you suck you in."
"You're right I do need the world. Because living people need to eat, need company and you, you're dead!"
"So? Death never stopped anyone."
I open my mouth and remember all those foes he faced that didn't stop at death. Divine, The Dark Signers, Illiaster, Me.
"Stay a little longer."
"I suppose. The door will have to unlock eventually."
A little turned into hours and hours into days. The door was locked the whole time. We talked. We cried. We remembered. The hands of a delusional woman stuck in her music box of time as she smashed into him. The bite of the shadows and the flick of the knife.
"I'm sorry"
I'm still sorry. The horrible sensations climb on me.
"Don't worry, I'll protect you like I did on that night."
"Wait, what happened that night?"
"Some man wanted your money and you laughed at him and he yelled and shot at you. I took the bullet."
It wasn't that delusional woman with the music box of time? The door clicks. I ignore it. I want to spend a little longer here. Nothing serious. I just want to say goodbye.
"Goodbye."
"Goodbye. I love you."
"I believe you."
I walk away with a small smile on my face. I walk to the door and turn the handle and try to open it. He's lonely. He's scared without me. I don't have to go. I don't want to go. I'll stay here. I close the door and lock it tight. I close my eyes and sleep for the eternal night. No matter how dark it gets I'll remain here.
"I'm sorry." The doctor says.
Yuusei is standing here so damn stoically.
"She isn't gonna wake up?" I whisper.
"I'm sorry but she won't. She almost did." She states. "Her eyes opened and she opened her mouth to talk before falling back into the coma. Do you want to keep her on life support?"
"Yuusei?" I start.
"No, release her. It's the only humane thing to do." He sighs.
"What?! Yuusei! She might wake up!" I cry.
"Didn't you listen, she won't." Yuusei murmurs.
"But!"
"I'm sorry. I knew you two had your differences and you were on your way to becoming good friends and that she reminded you of him but she's gone."
I turn my face away and don't let the tears scratching at my eyes fall. Yuusei grabs me by the shoulder and steers me out before crying himself.
"I'm sorry." I mutter.
"We all are."