My muse must be working over time. This is my second story in a week. Anyway, as you know, I don't own my characters nor do I own the song "I dare you to move" By Switchfoot. R&R please! You wouldn't like it when I beg
XxX
She awoke with a start. Gasping for breathe and trying desperately to push the images that invaded her mind away. Jumping up from the soft bed, she ran into the bathroom and landed on her knees in front of the toilet. This was not unusual for her. It had been going on for months and no matter how hard she tried or how many medications she took, the images of that night still haunted her dreams.
She began to cry, her body wrecking with each sob as it exploded from her chest. "Why?" she screamed with each gasping breath.
She propped herself up against the bathtub, allowing the images to form in her mind. Once again to reveal the painful truth that happened to her just three months ago.
She was walking home from a diner just around the corner. She had insisted that her partner not follow her because she did not want to feel needy. She buttoned her jacket and braced herself for a gust of wind that was headed her way. All her years in the academy, learning to trust and understand her surroundings, to watch for anything out of the ordinary, but she still did not hear the footsteps creep up behind her.
It happened quickly. She was grabbed by strong arms from behind and forced into a near by van in an alley way that patiently waited for its occupants to arrive. The first word out of her mouth was a scream to her partner. She knew he was gone but she still felt like she could draw strength from his name. The strength was quickly vanished by a blow to the back of her head, knocking her completely unconscious.
When she awoke she was blindfolded and bond to a bed. Her body was sore and cold. Her legs ached and she realized that she had been stripped of all her clothes and she was being covered with a thin blanket over her abdomen. Her medical mind immediately began to go over her injuries. She didn't think anything was broken, and through she was sore, she was convinced that there was no internal damage.
Once she completed her mental check list she allowed her self to think of one last thing. 'Could I have been-' No. She refused to think that way. It would be something that she would deal with once she was free from her prison.
Her mind started to wander back to the evening that this happened. 'How long have I been here?' She wondered. 'Does he even know I am gone?' She was panicking. 'What if no one is looking for me' She instantly dismissed that thought. She knew her partner, they were linked spiritually. 'Dear Lord I'm starting to sound like him' She smugly thought. She had been right though.
She found out later that he called her when he got home and when he realized that she wasn't there he was immediately on the phone with the police department, frantically searching the town for her. Her captor seems to enjoy this. He would bring in a TV to her cell and allow her to watch the news reports on the missing FBI agent and how foolish she was to have been walking home alone attwo in the morning. He relished on her pain. He couldn't have been happier when she got to watch her partner on TV pleading with her captors to release her.
The sight of his face was the courage she needed to get home to him. Finally after what felt like an eternity, she was rescued from the madman that held her hostage. Her partner, her knight in shinning armor, untied her gently from the bed that she had laid in a great deal of time while she was there, and wrapped his coat around her body. He held her close to him and cried as he rocked her fragile body back and forth.
Over next few months, the knowledge of what happened to her, the abduction and the rape, caused her to experience the dark side of depression as well as PTSD. As a doctor she thought that with the appropriate medications she would be able to overcome the obstacles that her thrown before her, but she was wrong. Every night she would experience those two weeks all over again.
At first she stayed with her partner, the thought of being along was to much to bare. It wascomforting to wake upfrom a dream and have him hold her until her sobs subsided.Finally, when she felt she was ready, she moved back into her apartment. She was getting back to normal during the day, rarely letting her experiences affect her daily performances at work. At night, however, it was as if it had just happened.
Slipping back to reality, she got up from the cool bathroom floor and walked into her kitchen, grabbing a glass and vodka from the cabinet. That was something else she had resorted to. Drinking each night just to get a few hours sleep.
She sat down on her couch and wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks and flipped on her radio. The gentle sounds of the music pushed the demonic thoughts from her mind. She continued to drink until her mind became hazy. She was about to drift off when the lyrics of a song caught her interest.
"I dare you to move, I dare you to move
I dare you to life yourself up off the floor.
I dare you to move, I dare you to move
Like today never happened, today never happened before.
Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here, the tension is here
Between who are you and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be, yeah.
I dare you to move, I dare you to move
I dare you to life yourself up off the floor.
I dare you to move, I dare you to move
Like today never happened, today never happened before"
She began to sob quietly.
"Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where do you run to escape from your self?
Where you gunna go? Where you gunna go?
Salvation is here."
By this point of the song the sobs were taking over her body again. She needed to talk to someone. Picking up the phone, she dialed the familiar numbers of her partner's residence. After three agonizing rings his muffled voice greeted her on the other line.
"Hello" He answered. He could hear sobbing on the other line and sat up instantly.
"Can... I need you." Was all she could get out.
"I'll be right there." He hung up the phone and grabbed his jacket and gun instinctively and ran for the door. Withinten minutes he was standing in front of her apartment. He knocked on the door quickly and was greeted by a sight that sent chills to his heart.
"What's wrong?" he asked, quickly taking her in his arms as her body began to shake. The smell of his aftershave and the warmth of his bodybegan to calm her down. It amazed her how his presence always soothed even her worst of demons.
She pulled herself away from him and sat down on the couch, pulling her legs as close to her chest as she could manage. She watched him close her door and walk over next to her on the couch.
His heart was breaking. Ever since this happened to her, she was broken and battered. He understood how she could act this way but he always saw her as a strong women that never let her barriers down. Now, here she was, up all hours of the night because she was afraid to sleep, drinking to ease the pain, and crying constantly. Even when she thought no one was around he would see the pain on her face. He knew the pain she felt all too well. She deserved better.
He sat down on the other side of the couch, waiting for her to make the first move.
"I'm sorry. I just didn't want to be alone."
"It's ok. I'm here." He said. He wanted nothing more than to just hold her in his arms and wipe away her pain, but tonightmust have beena bad night. She told him her nightmares were getting better but something set her off tonight. "What happened?" He finally asked.
She laughed instantly. Well, it was more of a smirk then a laugh. She felt childish for calling him over but she knew he would understand.
"I heard a song. It was about getting over the past, letting it go, moving on. I got to thinking about how they expect people to just move on. I don't know, maybe I'm just holding on to the past for subconscious reasons. But when I fall asleep at night and I see that man's face and feel the pain growing again, I just don't know how people move on." She finally concluded, satisfied that she managed to keep from crying.
He moved closer to her on the couch and rubbed her arm gently. "Listen to me, I understand. It's been over twenty-five years since my sister disappeared, and even though I have had some closure over the years, I'm still haunted by that childhood image of her abduction. It's ok to be afraid, and when something like this happens it's ok to hurt." She was crying again, but through her tears he saw her smile slightly.
"Thank you." she looked at the clock and realizes what time it actually way; 3:54 am. "I'm sorry" She whispered. He moved closer to her on the couch, putting his arm over her shoulder and pulling her close to him.
"It's ok, you know I'd do anything for you." He kissed her for head and she rose to meet his stare.
"I don't know what I would have done..." A tear fell from her eye again. He quickly wiped the offending drop and silenced her with a move of his hand.
"You'll never have to wonder that. I'm always here" Even since her attack he'd be afraid to move around her. He was terrified that his actions would frighten her and he was embarrassed that since she was found all he has wanted to do was take her in his arms and tell her how much she meant to him, before something else happened to either of them.
He went through hell and back the weeks she was gone. He blamed himself, of course. It was in his nature to blame unstoppable events on himself, especially when they happen to people he loves. His heart broke every time he thought of her tied to the bed, being beaten and raped, slowly pushed each day to the edge of death and then being violently pulled back.
He told himself that the minute she was found alive he was going to tell he what he had known for a long time and never said. He was going to tell her that he loved her. That all changed when he saw the emotional state that she was in when she was found. He never could have imagined she was being put through that and instantly changed his mind, telling himself that it was not the right time and she needed space.
"Hey," she whispered. He jumped slightly from his day dream, remembering he was here holding her in his arms now. "What were you thinking about?" She was trying to bring the attention off her fragile state.
"You." He answered honestly. 'So much for that' she thought. But she really had not expected anything else. She knew in the bottom of her heart he loved and she knew without a doubt that she loved him. That's why she would call him before anyone else.
"I love you," She confessed without thinking. She didn't wait for a reaction from him, and she didn't need one. She closed her eyes and buried her face in his chest. She smiled when she felt him wrap his arms around her body tightly, as though he was afraid to ever let her go.
Tears ran from his eyes and he spoke softly into her hair, "I love you" He pulled her up to face him before he realized what he was doing. He had a panicked look on his face but then she smiled warmly. All of his doubt and fear disappeared instantly and he leaned down to her. Gently, he brushed his lips across hers, afraid to rush her. She pulled away suddenly and looked down.
"I'm sorry." It was his turn to apologize.
"Don't be.I do love youbut... I just don't feel comfortablewith thisyet." He nodded in understanding. "Come on,I need to go to bed. We need to get some sleep." she smiled softly, wiping any remaining tears from her face. She felt completely comfortable with him but it was to soon for her to jump into a relationship now. A part of her, however, couldn't be happier with the events as they just happened.
"Do you want me to stay in here?" He asked honestly.
"No, I sleep better when your near me." He followed her into her bedroom and laid down next to her curling up against her small frame. He whispered his confession again but there was no response. Her exhausted body had already surrendered to sleep. He began to whisper in her ear.
"I dare you to move..."
Within minutes he was asleep, his last thought was that the nightmare might finally be over.