A/N This is the first chapter of my Bade fanfic and it's from Jade's POV. It's the first one I've ever written so I'd love some reviews. I'm going to do one shots for various Victorious episodes with a substantial Bade plot so if you have any favourite episodes you'd like me to write a chapter about, just tell me in a review. There may be some added fluff but I've tried to stick closely to the episode with a few missing moments. Rated T for language and some suggestive themes.

This chapter is based on the Pilot. I wanted to show what Jade was feeling when Tori came to Hollywood Arts and when Tori and Beck kissed.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Victorious. All credit goes to the amazing Dan Schneider.

Pilot – Why would you hurt me like that?

My eyes snapped open as I heard my phone ring. I reached over to the bedside table and retrieved it quickly before looking at the caller id. My eyes took a second to focus before I could see that it was Beck calling – what the hell did he want at (I glanced at the clock) six in the morning? Sighing I tapped the answer button on my phone and held it to my ear.

'What do you want Beck? Do you even care that it's six o'clock and I was sleeping a minute ago?' I yawned.

'Sorry babe, I just wanted to tell you that I'll be at your house half an hour earlier than usual 'cos we have to rehearse that scene for Sikowitz before school today as we have him first thing.'

'And you don't think I'd remember that even though you told me like twenty times yesterday?' I snapped. I wasn't much of an early riser, something he was familiar enough with after all the times I'd stayed the night at his RV.

'Hey, I'm really sorry that I woke you up,' he said whilst trying to hide the laughter from his tone.

'Really?' I asked sourly.

'Really. Now go get ready, you've got an hour. Love you.'

'Yeah whatever, see you then.' I replied before hanging up and putting my PearPhone down. I got out of bed then went into my bathroom to have a shower. After I'd finished, I dried and styled my hair (blue streaks, slightly curled) and looked in my closet for something to wear. I chose a simple black top with black leggings and a pair of awesome brown boots. Then I put on a few necklaces, a black cuff bracelet and a chunky back ring and started on my makeup. Some dark shadow, black eyeliner and lots of mascara later and I was basically ready. Just as I was putting my piercings in I heard the doorbell ring downstairs. I rushed down to get it because my mum was out, something I was used to – she even said told me once that she went out so much to get away from me. But like I said, I was used to being the problem child she was ashamed of who liked scissors and dark things and anyway, it meant that me and Beck would be alone.

When I got to the front door, I pulled it open and found Beck leaning against the frame, shades on. I smirked. It was like he always managed to look cool and incredibly hot without a conscious thought. It was just something he did.

'Hey,' he grinned my favourite crooked smile. 'You actually managed to get out of bed then?'

'Shut up,' I scowled and pulled him inside, slamming the door behind him. 'I need coffee, now. Let's go.' He led the way through the hallway into the spacious kitchen and then busied himself making us both a drink. 'Two sugars,' I reminded him.

'I know what to do'.

Ten minutes later and we'd made our way up to my bedroom. I put my mug down on my dressing table and turned to face him. 'So, are we gonna act or what?'

'Yeah.' He put his mug next to mine and stood for a moment focusing on getting into character. We were doing a scene from Othello for Sikowitz. He was playing Othello; the jealous guy who thought his girl Desdemona had cheated on him with another guy, to put it simply. It was one of my favourite Shakespeare plays – as Beck had once said, I liked love stories that didn't belong in some Disney fairytale. This was anything but; my character got strangled to death at the end. I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes, ready to start the scene.

'It is the cause, it is the cause, my soul;

let me not name it to you, you chaste stars,

it is not the cause. I'll not shed her blood,

nor scar that whiter skin of hers than snow...'

I swear, as soon as he'd started saying his lines, he wasn't Beck anymore. Before me stood a man who couldn't believe the girl who he loved had cheated on him. He was so damn talented and yet he was so modest about it. Sure he knew he was fricking amazing at acting but he didn't want to brag about it. He just wasn't that guy. The sound of his soft footsteps toward me tore me from my train of thoughts.

'... I know not where it is that Promethean heat

that can thy light relume. When I have pluck'd thy rose,

I cannot give it vital growth again,

It needs must wither. I'll smell thee on the tree.'

Then he bent and kissed me on the lips. It felt like he was putting all his passion for the scene into the kiss and I struggled to act like I was still asleep. He made me breathless – my head started to spin as I listened for my cue.

'I must weep, but they are cruel tears. This sorrrow's heavenly

it strikes where it doth love. She wakes.'

'Who's there? Othello?' I looked up into his deep brown eyes, and blinked while trying to look like I'd just woken up. Well, more like his insane kissing skills had woken me up.

'Ay Desdemona.'

I smirked slightly as I remembered what my next line was. 'Will you come to bed, my lord?'

His face betrayed no slip in character but I saw a flash of humour in his eyes before he looked away.

'Have you pray'd tonight, Desdemona?' His voice was low and tense.

'Ay, my lord.'

Just then I glanced at the clock on the wall and freaked when I saw what the time was. 'Shit!' I exclaimed and jumped off the bed. 'Beck, we have to get to school, now!' It was quarter past eight and we only had 15 minutes to drive to school and get to our first class.

'Chill Babe, we'll make it in time,' he said, still as relaxed as ever, as we made our way down the curving staircase and out the door to his car. 'And anyway,' he continued, 'Sikowitz is always late for class. By the way, I thought the scene went really well,' he paused while pulling out of the drive, 'well, what we did of it.'

'Whatever. I know I wasn't as good as you.' I looked out the window. He was silent as he turned the radio down. 'Well,' I demanded fiercely after he didn't reply, 'does that mean you think I was terrible?'

'NO!' He exclaimed loudly. 'How could you even think that Jade? You're a great actress. Why do you have to get so touchy over everything?' He ran his hand through his hair, clearly frustrated.

'So you want to break up with me?' I retorted immediately.

'No, why would I want to break up with you? You're the most beautiful, talented girl at Hollywood Arts.' He looked away from the road at me with soft eyes. 'I love you.'

'Keep the sappy stuff to yourself.' By then we were at school. I turned to get out of the car but his hand reached out and grabbed my wrist, stopping me. I turned round to glare at him. 'What do you think you're doing?'

He responded by leaning over and placing a hand on my chin. He tilted my chin up so our lips met and kissed me, short and sweet. I sighed when he pulled away. 'Let's go Beck.' I turned away to open the door again but not before giving him a rare smile to let him know how I felt. It was enough. When I reached him round the other side of his car he put his arm round me and we walked into school together.

Sikowitz came up to us later when we were by my locker. 'Beck, Jade!' he exclaimed when he saw us. 'I'm sorry but I won't be able to see your scene later in class today as we have a new student joining us, Toro I think her name was and there'll be much to do. Could you swing by the black box after school to perform it to me?'

'Um, sure Sikowitz...' I replied 'See you in class.' He took a sip from the coconut he was holding and walked away. I got a book out of my locker and turned to face Beck. 'That man gets weirder every day.'

'Yeah, but he's a great teacher,' Beck shrugged, 'the guy can do what he wants. Anyway don't you think we should head to class now?'

'Sure,' I said while rifling through the books in my locker. 'Damn! Where's my song-writing book? I need it for my AP vocals class.'

'I think you left it in my car. Want me to come with you to get it?'

'No.' I glared at him. 'I don't need you to come; I'm not fricking child Beck. I'll meet you in Sikowitz's class in a minute. See you there.' Then I slammed the locker door shut and whirled around before walking quickly back through the parking lot to Beck's car. I retrieved my book from the passenger seat and returned to the main building. Once inside it was a short walk to Sikowitz's classroom.

I paused outside the door for a moment, thinking about the scene we were going to perform later when I saw what was happening inside the classroom through the glass panel in the door. Some brown haired girl that I'd never seen before, must be the new girl Sikowitz was talking about, was rubbing Beck's chest. And to make it even worse she was looking into his eyes dreamily, probably hoping he didn't have a girlfriend. Well she was gonna find out the hard way that he did. And worst of all Beck was just standing there smiling at her like he couldn't even remember that he already had a girlfriend. I scowled; did he even care about me? Why would he just let her touch him like that? Tears pricked my eyes as I tried to contain that side of me, the one that I didn't want anybody to see. Everyone at Hollywood Arts thought I, the bitchy, goth girl, had an undeniably black heart and didn't have a soft side at all – well, they were wrong. Every time a girl flirted with Beck, every time he did a stage kiss, every time we fought, my heart felt like it was going to break. I was terrified of losing him and knowing that I didn't deserve him made it even worse. I needed him.

I would get revenge on the girl for touching Beck – something that would make her want to leave Hollywood Arts forever.

I took a deep breath before opening the door and pushing it open. 'Dude!' I exclaimed. They both turned to look at me. 'Why are you rubbing my boyfriend?!' I said whilst glaring at her.

She looked away from Beck, a little startled. 'Oh, I-I just spilled coffee on...'

'Get away from him!' I gestured at Beck but continued looking at her with my eyebrows raised.

'Relax.' Beck turned away from the girl and walked towards me with what looked like a smirk on his face. He was only making things worse; I was so going to kill him later. He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek, thinking it was going to calm me down. He was wrong; I was still glaring at the bitch of a girl who had flirted with Beck when Sikowitz burst through the other door of the classroom.

'Oh my god, there's a huge fire!' After he'd said this the class went into full scale panic mode. People were rushing about everywhere, screaming. Beck put his arms round me – something I couldn't complain about. I had rested my head on his neck when Sikowitz said it was his (twisted) idea of a joke to get our 'blood pumping' for class. I rolled my eyes and strolled away from Beck to my usual chair. Beck followed and sat down next to me before putting his arm around me.

Sikowitz introduced the bitch as Tori Vega and thanked her for giving him two dollars (what the hell?) before asking her if she knew what improv was. Yeah, no surprise there, she didn't have a clue. I got asked to captain the first group so I walked up onto the stage to pick my actors.

'Hmm. Cat, Eli,' I paused then pointed at Beck and said his name in a flirty tone. 'And Tori.' She looked at me surprised, with a hint of fear in eyes before making her way to the stage. I smirked – this was gonna be fun. Sikowitz asked the rest of the class for details for the scene before I asked Vega in a sugary-sweet voice to wait in the hall.

Sikowitz came off the stage and went to stand at the back of the room. 'Okay. Home, big news. And, action!'

I turned to face Beck. 'Hey babe, how was work today?' He ran a hand through his long, fluffy hair before replying.

'I got fired.'

Cat and Eli made sad, sympathetic noises and some silly remarks. 'It's okay,' I said to them then walked over to the door. 'I have great news that'll cheer up this whole family; I went to the animal shelter and got us, a dog.'

Tori said some stuff about how she was the new family dog. Amateur, I thought. She can't even act. I said this to Sikowitz and he agreed. Make Tori look stupid in class, check. Now to humiliate her even further...

'I went to the animal shelter and got us a dog!' I repeated, fake cheerily.

'Can the dog sleep in our room?' Beck asked.

How could he even ask that? Like he hadn't made me angry enough today. I gritted my teeth. 'No, honey, it can't.'

Leaning forward I picked up a lock of Tori's hair and pretended that she had bugs in her fur. Then I had an idea. 'Oh, it's okay, I read on the internet that coffee works great for getting rid of furbugs'. I went and grabbed some guy's iced coffee then returned to the stage. Beck realized what I was going to do. 'Maybe you shouldn't...' his voice trailed off as I removed the lid and poured the coffee over Tori's head where she was knelt on the floor.

That'll show her. Beck is mine and I was going to make sure it stayed that way.

Tori gasped and stood up. 'What's the prob?' I asked with fake concern then sneered at her. 'Dog.' I smiled to myself as she ran out of the classroom. She wouldn't be coming back anytime soon, if ever.

Beck wouldn't say more than a few words to me all day, even after we'd done the scene for Sikowitz and he was silent as he drove us to his RV after school. He got out of his car without looking at me and went into the RV. I followed and shut the door behind me. When I'd sat down on his bed, he ran a hand through his hair and turned to face me.

'Why did you do that to Tori earlier?' he exclaimed, clearly frustrated. 'You'd only just met her.'

'I saw what she was doing to you. What, did you think I was just gonna stand there and watch some bitch flirt with my boyfriend and rub him?' I snorted. 'Like that was gonna happen!'

'She wasn't flirting with me! And why do you have always have to overreact when another girl so much as looks at me?'

'Because!' I shouted. 'You're the hottest guy in school. You might not see how every other girl in Hollywood Arts looks at you but I do! They're all waiting for you to break up with me so they can go out with you and,' I paused and continued in a whisper whilst tears threatened to spill over my eyes, 'I couldn't bear it if you broke up with me and went out with some other girl'. I was cracking, showing the Jade that no one saw.

His face softened as I said this and he closed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around me. 'Babe, I would never let that happen. I need you too much.' He leaned back, still holding me with one hand and using the other to wipe the tears off my cheeks before kissing me softly.

I scowled when he pulled back a second later. He looked confused. 'What's wrong?'

'I wasn't done kissing you, Oliver.'

'Is that all?' He leaned back down and pressed his lips to mine. This time this kiss was much more passionate and it quickly got heated. I pushed him back onto the bed and kissed down the side of his neck until he moaned my name. He grabbed my face and turned it back to his so our lips met again. We were soon out of breath and I was lying on top of him. Our tongues were fighting for dominance and I was winning. Abruptly I pulled away. He blinked at me, slightly disorientated from the fierce make-out session.

'Say you love me.' It wasn't a question, it was a command.

He obliged. 'I love you more than anything. Now it's your turn.'

'What?'

'Do it. Tell me you love me.'

'No. I'm not a sappy idiot, unlike you.'

'Jade.' He focused the full power of his gorgeous, deep brown eyes on me. 'Say you love me.'

'No.'

'Please?' He said in his baby voice.

'NO. And you know I hate when you baby talk!'

He didn't say anything and continued to gaze at me. God, why did he have so much power over me? I was helpless when I looked into his eyes.

'I love you.' I mumbled.

He just smiled. 'I know.'

I woke up the next day to see light streaming in through the windows of Beck's RV. We were both lying on Beck's bed and he was fast asleep, one of his arms still round my waist. I gently pushed his arm off so I could get up without disturbing him and picked up my PearPhone from the floor. It was half seven, which meant we had an hour until school started so I decided to let him sleep a little longer while I got dressed. I was still in my underwear (yeah, nothing happened last night - even though I sleep round lots and we've been going out for nearly two years, Beck's convinced that we're too young to get serious, unfortunately). Our clothes were strewn around the RV but I managed to locate my leggings on his couch and pulled them on. Then I rifled through his closet and found one of my tops at the back. I have a few clothes at his RV in case situations like this ever occur. I smirked at the thought as I put the tank top on. Then I did my makeup with what I had in my bag, dark like usual and put the same jewellery I'd had on yesterday but with a different necklace I'd left at his RV one time.

By this time it was quarter to eight and I decided Beck had had enough of a lie in. I walked quietly over to his bed and was about to shout something in his ear to wake him up (to get him back for waking me up so early yesterday) when he suddenly snaked his arms out around my legs and pulled me onto the bed next to him. I shrieked and when I realized what had happened I whacked his head with a pillow. 'Beck, what the hell? I thought you were asleep!' I snapped.

'I was. I woke up like five minutes ago and thought I'd scare you,' he smiled. 'Good morning babe.'

'Yeah well it wasn't funny. Now get your lazy ass out of bed, we have to get to school and I need my coffee.'

'Why are you in such a good mood this morning?'

'Cute,' I told him. 'But that isn't gonna get me my coffee any quicker.'

When we got to school, we headed straight to Sikowitz's classroom which was our homeroom. Sikowitz crawled in through the window (hey, the guys a great teacher but he has a lotta problems) and started the lesson.

'Being a good performer is about making interesting choices!' he exclaimed.

'That explains his pants,' I muttered but not quiet enough that everyone couldn't hear.

While everyone was laughing at my comment, I heard the door swing open. I turned my head to see who it was, then sat up straighter in my chair whilst glaring at her - the bitch had returned to Hollywood Arts. Well, coming back showed she had some guts but I was going to make her regret her choice. It was obvious she liked Beck and I didn't let that kind of thing go unnoticed. The last girl who asked out Beck when I was around had recently transferred schools. Maybe I was a bit harsh but on second thought, she'd deserved what she'd got. After talking to Sikowitz, she sat down and I saw Beck smiling out of the corner of my eye. I continued to glare but inside I was hurt about how much he seemed to care about her. Why did he always make it seem like I wasn't good enough for him?

Yesterday she'd seemed quite nervous and quiet which is why I was surprised when she volunteered to lead the group for the alphabet improv exercise. I followed her with my eyes as she walked onto the stage and was even more surprised when she picked me to do the improv along with her, Andre, Beck and Cat. I raised an eyebrow causing her to say 'yeah, you' with a smirk. Fine, I'd show her.

'Kiss me'. Tori asked him. I sat up slowly in my chair when I heard this.

What the hell did she think she was doing asking Beck to kiss her? I mean I knew she'd probably been lusting over Beck ever since they met in Sikowitz's class yesterday but I didn't think she'd be stupid enough to try and make a move on him in front of me. I mean what had I ever done to her except for get a bit of revenge for what she'd done to me. My actions were totally justified. She'd deserved to have that coffee poured on her and kissing Beck earlier before we started the improv scene was just to show her that Beck was mine. Anyway, hadn't beating me at the alphabet improv been enough revenge for her? Oh well, at least now she'd get humiliated on stage now as there was no way in hell that Beck would kiss her when he already had a girlfriend, right?

'Little weird. Let's do it,' he replied whilst smiling, then leant towards Tori and kissed her.

Around me cheers erupted in a midst of clapping. But all I think of was how could he do that? This wasn't just flirting with another girl which he did sometimes because he liked seeing me jealous. No, this was a million times worse. He was kissing Tori, the only girl lucky enough to ever get revenge on me, Jade West, and I hated her for it. But not as much as I hated Beck at that moment. I opened my mouth in anger, about to shout some particularly rude things to the pair of them but then I thought better of it, I'd do something much worse instead. I shot death glares at them until they (finally!) pulled apart so nobody would recognize the hurt expression that was currently featured on my face. They'd continue to believe the cold-hearted bitch cover and I wouldn't get hurt any further, if that was even possible after what had just happened.

'Man I love this school!' Tori exclaimed to the still cheering class.

The only consoling thing about the moment was the expression on Beck's face. It was a mixture between oh shit, I can't believe I just did that and man, Jade is gonna kill me. Well he was right there. He ran a hand through his hair and started to walk towards me. I knew he was going to apologize for kissing Tori and hope that I'd forgive him but I just couldn't face him then. It was going to take more than a 'sorry' for me to forgive him and I was determined to make him suffer. Luckily my prayers were (somewhat) answered when the bell rang. I immediately whirled around and flew out of the classroom. I heard Beck say 'Jade, wait!' but I didn't stop.

I continued running until I was in the janitor's closet. I locked the door behind me and sank to the floor, my body shaking as I held back the tears. I always feared that I didn't deserve him, I didn't belong with him, and that I wasn't good enough for him. Yeah, well it looked like I'd been right all along. Our relationship was a beautiful mess, but we made it work, most of the time. I knew our relationship wasn't perfect but it didn't matter, I didn't want to change a thing. In my mind we belonged together (ugh, I was starting to sound like a fricking Taylor Swift song) A/N I do actually love Taylor Swift but I didn't think Jade would. but apparently he didn't think that. He was the only one with the power to destroy me but I wasn't going to show him how much he'd hurt me. I was Jade West and I could deal with the pain. I was tough and I was going to show him what he was missing. I'd just decided to take my anger out on one of the janitor's trashcans with my favourite pair of scissors when I heard a muffled knock on the door. I didn't bother turning around. I knew it would be him.

'Jade?' He knocked again.

I didn't say anything as I needed to make sure my emotions were in check before I confronted him. He wouldn't get the satisfaction of knowing he'd just ripped my heart out of my chest.

'Jade! I know you're in there.'

Slowly, carefully, I rose from the floor and turned around to unlock the door before stepping back to let him in. He shut the door behind him and faced me.

'I can't believe I did that, I'm so sorry Jade...' I blocked out what he was saying and instead took some deep breaths and concentrated on keeping my face from betraying any emotion. He eventually trailed off and at looked at me, waiting to respond. I waited, thinking of what to say.

I eventually broke the silence. 'Why would you hurt me like that?' He started to say something but I just interrupted. 'I know you're going to try and apologize, convince me it was her fault, say how you didn't mean to hurt me, whatever. It won't make me forget what you did.' My voice shook a little as I spoke.

He stepped towards me and placed his hands on my waist. I flinched and pulled away – he wasn't going to get off that easily.

'You kissed her!' I exclaimed. 'You kissed that bitch, who was so obviously in love with you and then you think that I'll just forgive you?! You did it in front of the whole class while they cheered and you think I won't care?! You let her throw herself at you and now you say you don't want break up?! I can't believe you.' The tears started to pour down my cheeks, all hopes of staying calm and not showing how much it hurt were out the fricking window.

'I'm sorry, I know I behaved like such an idiot. Tori's sweet, funny, pretty...'

'Dude! So not making this any better for yourself!'

He continued, acting as if I hadn't interrupted, 'but she's not you. She isn't afraid to speak her mind. She doesn't have the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen. And she definitely isn't the right girl for me because that position's already taken.' I smiled slightly. 'I know our relationship isn't perfect Jade, but trust me when I say, I wouldn't have it any other way. Forgive me?'

I could feel my anger at him fading as I processed what he'd said. I wanted to make him suffer but I couldn't make myself hurt him. I wanted him back so bad that I decided to just give in.

'Fine.' I said, scowling. 'But on two conditions.'

'Anything.'

'One, you will never kiss Vega ever again.'

'Okay.' He agreed quickly.

'And two, please don't ever leave me.'

'Never.'

Then he leaned over, put his arms back around my waist and pulled me close. Our lips met, just for a second – short, sweet but enough to know that he loved me. Who even cared that our relationship was a beautiful mess?

A/N Thanks for reading. I'll get the next one up asap.