I fear this is not nearly as good as our blood that runs but there is only one-way to know. Plz, PLZ R&R and I will love you 'till the end of time…promise.
Our blood has run
Would it help, if I screamed your name?
Shouted it, moaned it, screeched it…cried it?
I can't hear you my love and it hurts inside! Hurts like I never knew it could or would or even imagined it should.
Yes they caught me.
Just in time they said,
Yet for me it was to late.
I died up there in that attic alongside you and nothing they do, can bring me back.
Although as I predicted, I went to hell…
I miss you and I wont say, more than words can say.
Because words never existed nor touch or taste.
Neither then, expression or haste or time nor space…
Since you left me alone…all alone.
I stand here on this mountaintop, the place they sent me to 'recover'.
Huh, recover, what statement is this when my heart remains empty and words hold no meaning any more.
Nothing has since you left.
One stepI wonder what the view is like? From the edge of a mountainside.
They haven't left me alone since then. Frightened I suppose that I shall do it again.
There is no explaining to them that is what I want, what I crave.
'Nay' they say, it's not what you want, it's what you think you want.
Of course, as usual they know best.
But I crave it, need it, live it, breathe it, think it- Christ- eat it, everyday.
…
I woke up… that day… and the world was a blinding white and all that was missing was your face.
I knew then. Knew that they'd 'saved' me.
For if I was in heaven or the Summerland or simply another plain, you would be there.
So there I lay. White, clean bandages encasing my wrists and the entire clan gathered around my bedside. Grave, sombre faces, grieving for you- praying for me.
But they did not grieve as I did my love.
That I can promise with any word you like.
Any emotion you'd care to discern.
Two steps.
Do you see the scars my love?
What do they matter? They could only mar a perfect skin like yours.
Do you see my weeping heart?
What does it matter? When there is no answering beat?
God!
Why? Why did you leave me here? Half a body! Half a being!
Half a soul.
Three steps..
I cannot bear my reflection anymore.
For on the surface it is you… and on the inside it is I.
And though I know you'd scoff at my fear, I could not bear to look again.
Upon a reflection so lacking.
Four steps…Oh how I grieve.
Grieve for an angel it seems.
Never will I look upon your face again if I stay, for what if I forget.
What if the differences between us mix and blur?
I could not bear it.
I do not care for a family who cause me pain.
So no guilt is felt on my part.
Though there is plenty on there's.
So that darkened path I tread, my road to salvation.
And I realise again,
As I reach the edge and peer into your waiting face,
How I pray,
For our blood that has run,
…As one.
Five