The Journey of the Lonely Werewolf
Jacob Black
I just kept running. I had no idea where I intended to go, as long as it was far away from here, I didn't care. My pace never slowed, and I still wasn't tired, only faster. The faster the further, the further the better. My whole right side ached, begged me to stop. I shook it off between strides. I knew it wasn't good to run like this, not after some nasty bloodsucker basically broke every bone on the right side of my body. Leah didn't seem concerned at all. In fact, she could care less. Why should she? It was only her life that I saved!
Finally the pain was so intense, I lost the fight between my mind and body, and stopped to rest. One thing I absolutely hated about being in my wolf body…the heat. It was so unbearable, I was panting like crazy as I approached an old oak tree. I jumped up quickly, with the power of my back legs, I allowed myself to dig a small scar into the bark. The scar marked the trail I'd taken, for if and when I decided to go back. Back to the heartbreak, the depression, and the never ending battle that would stick with me forever. I'd marked about every other tree or so. I decided to hide out here for the night. The air had thickened and cooled the forest where I dwelled. Rain was coming, fast and relentless. I laid down under the tall oak. Thunder crackled in the distance, followed by the patter of raindrops. They completely surrounded me, fell on top of me, engulfed me, though I was too preoccupied to care. Thoughts of her haunted my mind, my every dream. The sound of her voice rang in my ears. She was in my very soul, tormenting me.
"But you're not in pain." She'd said, when first witnessing the extent of my injuries. I wanted to break down then, when the words first escaped her lips. On the contrary Bella..I was in pain…I am in pain. Maybe not physically, but the mental trauma is forced to control my every move. I wouldn't be all the way out here otherwise.
"I think it's too late for that, Jake. How can we be friends, when we love each other like this?" I growled, telling my mind to shut-up and just let me hate myself for one moment. I couldn't blame Bella really, it was all me, all my fault. I was the one who threatened to tear her away from happiness. She had always wanted nothing but happiness for me, so why couldn't I wish the same for her? It was absolutely immature on my part. It was a very childish thing, and being above that, I should have known better. I mean, I jeopardized her very sanity by making her choose between me…..or him. Him. Her knight in shining armor, her prince charming, Edward Cullen. My teeth gashed together in fury at the bloodsucker's name. I can't believe that she actually thought thinks that he cares about her. He's going to turn her into a cold hearted monster for crying out loud! I just don't get it! What's so romantic about an ice- cube with fangs? If you ask me, us werewolves are much cuter, and cuddlier I might add. Yikes! What am I saying? I am not cute! I'm HOT! End of story there, no questions asked. Anyways, as for me, I guess I'd always be the shoulder she cried on. The shoulder that stopped the tears that would soon come again. They wouldn't come at all if I were the prince.
I missed my father. In times like this, he knew exactly what to say. I felt guilty about not telling him where I was going. I had been in such a hurry to leave, I think I even forgot to say goodbye. He was probably worried sick, but seeing me run off in a hurry after receiving the news, I think he understood. I still felt guilty for ignoring him, I might not ever see my dad again. Thoughts of my dad whirled through my brain, I hoped he'd be okay. He would be, he could get Sam or someone else to drive him around or help out for now. He didn't need me. Lately, it seemed like nobody did. Only, when they needed to complain or vent about stupid things I had no control over whatsoever. My dad seemed to understand my pain, but my pack brothers on the other hand, couldn't seem to take a hint. I still wasn't far enough out of range, so their worried thoughts traveled the journey right along with me.
" Come back Jacob!" They pleaded, " Running away is not the answer." Seth was the most frequent to contact me with his mind. He wasn't annoying like the others were. To my surprise, he seemed to understand, and respect my decision.
" Come back, but only when you're ready. I know you need your space, I can respect that. It's just..I miss hanging out with you Jacob. You're like the big brother I've never had." That was the last thing Seth had said. His presence, even in thought, I did enjoy. I always had a soft spot for the kid.
The rain poured and splattered on. Sleep wasn't a total impossibility. As long as I could clear my head just long enough. In a moment, I would be gone, fast asleep. My dreams centered around Bella. They brought me back in time, back to when everything was good. Everything was normal. I was just Jacob Black, the Jacob that didn't have the ability to turn into a freaky werewolf. That was the part I hated, it completely ruined everything! Back when I was normal, nothing between Bella and I mattered, only our friendship.
I remember the day she first brought me those bikes (motorcycles). I was taken by surprise at first. It wasn't in her nature to be so reckless. I decided not to ask, in case she'd get offended. I was even more surprised when she asked me to fix them up for her! I don't know why she had thought of me, we hadn't talked for so long, I seriously thought she'd forgotten about me. I remember the fun days in the garage. Bella would sit in my half- finished jack rabbit ( at the time) and just watch me work. While doing so, we'd talk about school, our other friends, our dads and other stuff like that. The moment I could have lived without though, is when Quil and Embry decided to pay me a visit. While Bella and I were trying to have a simple conversation, they were just whispering nonsense among each other that I didn't notice right away. Their crap talk consisted of things like,
" Jake and Bella sitti'n in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" That had to be the most humiliating moment of my life! I had to smack Quil upside the head for that last comment. Luckily, they didn't drop by much when Bella was around after that day.
I decided to completely shut-down my mind for the night. To shake out the memories that would only make things worse. Then, I drifted into a deep, dreamless, sleep.
The rain had since long gone, and had been replaced by the faint call of the sparrows. I slowly opened my eyes, and took in my surroundings. As I stood up, a sharp intense pain vibrated through my muscles. Running for the entire previous day left me sore and lifeless. Events of the not too distant past had crept unwelcomly , back into my subconscious. I'm not sure if unwelcomly is a word but that's just what it was. Everything suddenly dawned on me, like stones were being thrown at me from each direction. Over and over with each new memory. I remembered receiving a letter from Edward Cullen. The contents had devoured the remaining shards of my broken heart. Announcing that he was marrying Bella, my Bella, was enough to overdo it. You win Edward, you always win.