Long Distance Part 4
Sophie's POV
Watching Sian pack her bags hurt like no other pain I've ever felt. I know she was beyond furious with me, but I had my reasons to not tell people about our relationship. California was a clean slate for me. I wanted to see how people would treat me before I let them in. I wanted to tell my friends about Sian being my girlfriend, but whenever they saw a couple of the same sex they would say all these nasty comments. I would defend the couple, but that only led them to questioning me. I know I should get new friends, but they are all I have at the moment.
I want to be with Sian. I want nothing more than for her to stay, and for us to be just us like we were back in Boston. I want to go back to Boston. Los Angeles isn't for me if Sian isn't here. I love the area, but home is wherever Sian is. Sian is the only person I want in my life. Without her, I have absolutely nothing.
The look on Sian's face broke me. I caused her all this pain and it was never my intention to hurt her like this. I need to figure out how I am going to tell the other person I love why I hide them. I have always been the quiet one in our relationship, but Sian has always been the hesitant one. She did everything for me and I was grateful for it, but since the beginning she's always doubted my faithfulness. I guess this incident didn't help my cause. I needed to stop being quiet and open up to Sian. I walked to my bedroom and saw Sian on the phone.
"Who are you on the phone with?" I asked, looking at Sian.
"The airport," replied Sian, packing the rest of her belongings.
"Why?" I asked, nervously.
"So I can head back home," replied Sian, fuming.
"You said you wouldn't leave," I stated, taking her bag away.
"Sophie, give me my bag," stated Sian, looking at me.
"No, you aren't leaving," I stated, holding in my tears.
"Yes, I am. I have no reason to be here," stated Sian, with so much hurt in her eyes.
"You don't mean that," I said, looking at her.
"We both know I do," stated Sian, returning to her phone call.
"No, you don't," I stated, taking her phone and ending the call.
"What the hell?!" yelled Sian, trying to get her phone back.
"You aren't leaving until we talk," I stated, looking at Sian.
"I don't want to talk to you! I want to go home and forget about everything that ever reminded me of you. I'm done, Sophie. I'm tired of this shit!" yelled Sian, looking at me.
"So, you get a say and I can't say anything?" I yelled, angrily.
"You had a year and a half to say something, and you haven't said anything!" yelled Sian, fuming. "Now you want to fucking talk! Well, I don't want to hear anything that comes out of your mouth."
"You never fucking change!" I yelled, running my hands through my hair in annoyance.
"At least I didn't lie about the last year and a half of my life," stated Sian, zipping up her bag.
"If you'd let me explain, you'd find out why I did it," I stated, looking at her.
"Oh I know why you did it. You were embarrassed to be with me, you were embarrassed that your new friends would hate you for being a 'dirty dyke', and you never cared about me. It's fine because now you have your perfect life here without anyone from back home in it," yelled Sian, looking at me.
"I am not embarrassed of you or us. I could care less what anyone thought of me. I didn't tell anyone because I was protecting you from the harsh reality that the people who are supposedly my friends hate same-sex couples. I did it to protect you," I stated, still looking at her.
"You wanted to protect me at what cost, huh?" asked Sian, still looking at me.
"Sian," I stated, defeated.
"At what cost, Sophie?" repeated Sian.
"At the cost that I might lose you," I replied, sitting on my bed.
"Bingo!" stated Sian. "I can't believe I ever believed that you loved me," she whispered.
I don't know what made me reach my final breaking point, but whatever it was it gave me the strength to do something I never thought I would ever do. I got up from my bed and pushed Sian. She gave me a warning look. I know Sian doesn't have the greatest of tempers, but if this is the only way I'd get her to believe me then I wasn't going to hold back. I kept pushing her until her back was against the wall.
"Don't you ever say I never loved you because I love you more than anything on this Earth!" I yelled. "I get that I hurt you, but that gives you no right to ever say I didn't love you. If I never loved you, I would have never said yes to you the day you asked me to be your girlfriend. If I never loved you, I would have never fought so hard to stay in Boston with you. If I never loved you, I wouldn't have broken my vow and made love to you the day I found out I was getting dragged away from you. If I never loved you, I would have never spent all those late nights on the phone, skypeing you, and having phone and Skype sex. If I never loved you, I would have never given you the money to come see me. If anyone needs to be up to blame, it's you!" I continued, fuming.
"I never did anything for you to doubt my love for you," stated Sian, angrily.
"You always doubted me," I stated, looking at Sian.
"And look what happened," stated Sian, looking at me.
"I did it to protect you," I yelled, pushing her again out of frustration.
"I don't need protection," yelled Sian, still looking at me.
"You are so stubborn," I yelled, walking away from Sian.
"And you are annoying as fuck," yelled Sian, staring at me.
"I hate you," I stated, crying.
"I know you do," stated Sian, still looking at me.
"I can't do this if you aren't or can't believe that I did this to protect you," I whispered, through my tears.
"I get it, but that doesn't change the fact that you lied to me. I always knew you loved me," whispered Sian, walking towards me.
"Then, why put me through the last half hour of this hell?" I asked, looking at her.
"I needed to hear that you loved me," replied Sian, wiping my tears away.
"I love you more than anything," I stated, crying.
"And I love you more than anything, as well," replied Sian, still wiping my tears away.
"I don't hate you," I stated, through my tears.
"I know. I'd rather you slap me than say those three words," stated Sian, looking at me.
"Fine," I stated, slapping Sian.
"I deserved that," giggled Sian, rubbing her arm.
"Please don't leave me," I whispered, with fresh tears escaping my eyes.
"I'll stay the remainder of my trip," stated Sian.
Before Sian could say another word, I jumped into her arms and gave her the most heartfelt kiss ever. Sian returned the kiss, and things got quickly heated. Sian broke the kiss and I had a confused look on my face. Sian just laughed at me. She connected our lips again and broke the kiss once more.
"We aren't done talking about this. I forgive you, but we are going to have a calm conversation about this later on," stated Sian, rubbing my cheek.
"Okay, but can we get back to kissing now?" I asked, playing with the back of her neck.
"Yes," laughed Sian. "I love you so much, Soph, please don't ever hurt me like this again," continued Sian, letting a few tears escape.
"I love you so much, too Sian, and I promise you I won't," I whispered, wiping her tears away.
"I can't lose you," cried Sian.
"You won't, Baby. You're all I have left," I stated, pulling her into a tight hug.
"Same here, Babe," whispered Sian, kissing the spot where my heart was.
"Let's get some sleep," I whispered, looking at Sian.
"Okay," whispered Sian, going to her bag.
"Where you really on the phone with the airport?" I asked, nervously.
"No," replied Sian. "I couldn't leave you knowing things were rough. It was a local hotel to see if they had a room just for tonight. I was going to come back in the morning so we could both talk in a calm manor."
"Okay," I stated with a sigh of relief.
"Like I said, I couldn't leave angry because if something were to happen to you I'd never forgive myself for not being there to protect you," stated Sian, walking up to me. "I may be hurt, but I would protect you to the moon and back."
"I know you would, and I'd do the same," I whispered, kissing Sian.
"I know. Let's get some sleep. I'm drained," yawned Sian.
"Same here," I whispered, getting into bed. "Sian?"
"Yeah, Soph," replied Sian, getting into bed.
"I know I have no right to ask considering what happened earlier," I rambled.
"Babe, you're rambling. What is it?" asked Sian, looking at me.
"Can we make love tonight?" I asked, looking at my sheets.
"You know the answer will always be yes," smiled Sian, rubbing my cheek.
"I love you," I stated, kissing Sian.
"I love you, too," stated Sian, returning the kiss.
The kiss quickly got heated, and both of us took the others clothing off. I know Sian and I have more to talk about in the morning, but right now was about showing the woman of my dreams just how much I love her.