I Think, an icarly fanfic

Whee! Another story! :3 Uhmm.. For once I'm writing during the day XD Be proud!

Except I have a softball practice to be at in an hour. x.x So this'll be short.. -coaches likkle league..-

And she's sitting there, dark hair sticking up in all the strangest angles, a wet towel sitting next to her on the couch as she pops pieces of popcorn in her mouth. Her brown eyes shift towards me for just a moment, before she focuses back on the t.v., and I can't help but wonder how much longer I can live like this. It's weird, because, like, I'm me, right? I'm not supposed to take anything seriously and I'm supposed to laugh through everything and I'm not supposed to sit up half the night crying for no reason but I do. And I wonder briefly about what she'd do if she knew--maybe not my reasoning, but just that I was falling apart inside as much as I was. I wonder if she'd sit there and hold me until it was all okay again or if she'd just pretend to care.

Oh, hell, of course she'd hold me and take care of me. She's my best friend and that's what best friends are supposed to do for each other. I know that she'll never stop caring about me and she'll never stop taking care of me. She hasn't ever left me in the six years that we've been friends. Sure, we'll get mad at each other every now and then but it's because we care. It's because we care and we don't want to lose each other and I know that I'm not speaking for just myself.

But still, it's scary. It's scary how you can go to sleep next to somebody one night and think, "She's my best friend." and then wake up the next morning and have you heart beating out of your chest at the smallest touch from her sleeping body, with, "Oh my god she is so hot." running through your head. It's scary sitting there blushing in the girl's locker room every time you have gym when a week ago you couldn't care less about all the boobs and half naked girls all around you.

It's funny how quickly things like that can change. And, when I think about it, it's kind of funny how much it matters to me and everybody else just who it is that I'm going to fall in love with. It's funny how I sit here hoping that they won't hate me but I can't love myself. Who's ever going to care about you if you can't give a shit about yourself?

"Carlyyyy.." I whined, hanging upside-down from her bed and stretching my arms out so they almost touched the ground, my face covered in a giant mass of blonde hair, my shirt falling above my belly button. "I'm bored.." I finished, yawning to add to the effect.

Her eyes flickered towards me again for a fleeting moment, and then back at the t.v., and then back to me again as she grabs the remote and turns the t.v. off, walking towards me.

"Amuse me..?" I ask, grinning weakly as I look up at her. I've never been scared about what Carly thinks about me until now. Now it's all I can do not to nearly have a heart attack every time she opens her mouth--afraid that she's going to say she doesn't like my hair or my shirt's too baggy or that I'm being obnoxious. I mean, I've always cared what she thought, but I've never obsessed over what she's thinking about me. I've never been so scared in my life about a person not liking me. In fact, until her, until now, I haven't given a shit about what anybody thinks of me.

I think I'm being stupid.

I'm being stupid.

She looks at me and I look back, and she's grinning back at me and I'm still smiling and my heart's jumping into my throat and I don't understand why. "Sam?" Her voice makes my whole body shiver. I think that all the hairs on my arms and the stubble on my legs are standing on end.

"Yes?" I ask, as though I'm not hanging upside-down from her bed by my legs.

But she doesn't say anything else, and she pulls me down and catches me, but she's falling and I'm falling. And I'm on top of her and oh god this is just like every stupid anime thing where the two characters just happen to fall on each other in a position that just happens to be perfect for making out. But for once that almost happens. I mean, it didn't just so happen that we fell like that. More like, I was crushing her to death and I was just putting my hands on the ground to push myself up but maybe that wasn't the best way to do it because then the next thing I know my lips are above hers and we're breathing each other's breath and I can feel myself blushing.

I'm laying here on top of her blushing and for a moment I don't even realize what I'm supposed to do next because I love the feeling coursing through my body and it's almost making me shake it's so strong. It's absolutely indescribable; it's as through somebody like a fire in my veins and then gave me morphine. It's not painful but it feels like it's supposed to be. And then I realize where I am again and what's happening and I try to get up but something's holding me down and I wonder for a moment if I broke my neck and didn't realize it and now I'm paralyzed.

But I'm not and it's Carly's hand and it's on the back of my head. Why is her hand there?

And she's looking at me and she's so impossible to read, and I wonder for a moment what I must look like. I wonder if I'm just as hard to read right now or if the inner workings of my mind have painted themselves across my face for all the world to see.

Oh shit. Stop stop stop stop. This is turning me on too much. God, fuck, fuck fuck. Fuck. Carly, just let me get off you. No, don't. Don't let me get up. Take me to bed with you and fuck me. On the couch or just right here oh my god Carly. Fuck. Fucking fuck me. Holy shit. I'm so aware of the way her breasts feel as they press against mine, how few layers there are between my clit and hers and oh my god, Sam, stop. Right now.

And I'm even more aware of the drops of water on her skin and how she feels moist and her damp hair's touching my hand. "U..uhm.." That's the best I can choke out, and even then I wonder if she can tell just by my tone what she's doing to me. Why's she doing this to me? And, oh god, why won't she let me get up?

Wait. Wait. Why is she pulling me towards her like that and why're her eyes closed and..

Oh my god. Her lips are so soft and her skin is soft as she wraps an arm around my neck and her other hand's still in my hair holding me against her lips. I don't even care why she's doing this but oh my god this is so much better than kissing that idiot I used to go out with. She tastes like mint and I'm kissing her back and her tongue's in my mouth and mine's in hers and christ. Jesus christ.

I'm next to her in her bed and we're sitting with our knees at our chests, leaning back against the wall.

"Well. That was.." She trails off and I wonder if we just completely ruined our friendship. We're sitting here and why is this so awkward?

And then all we could do was sit there in silence, staring at the opposite wall. This is driving me crazy and I think for the first time about how beautiful she is and oh my god, I'm so horny and I'm so mad at stupid Spencer for running around screaming about his sculpture because her hand had been pushing my shirt up. "Uhm.. are you..?" I asked vaguely, turning just the tiniest bit towards her. Which might sound like a stupid thing to ask, but honestly. I've heard plenty of girls talking about how they hook up with their girl friends just for fun and it didn't mean a thing.

She looks at me and bursts out laughing. "God Sam. You have the worst gaydar." She's saying between giggles, and I'm sitting here and realizing how right she is. But it hasn't been that long.. maybe that part comes later?

"Oh, quiet you!" I said, grabbing a pillow and pushing it against her mouth and her voice muffled as she tried to say something else. And I'm laughing and she's laughing and she's pushing me away and I'm dropping the pillow and she's grinning and then she's pulling me back towards her. And then I'm sprawled across her legs and she's got her arms around me and I'm just sitting there blushing. God. Fuck. How does she do this to me?

I'm rolling myself over so that I'm looking up at her and she's looking back down at me and smiling a bit, and then she's playing with my hair and I'm not sure what to do because I'm never shy like this, so I just put my hand on hers. "So.." She starts, still looking down at me.

"So." I replied, grinning up at her.

"..Do you wanna do that again?"

Whee! I know, this is really short.. but I did the best I could in an hour. x.x I'm probably gonna write another story later tonight if I can get on my compy.. :3 I'm not sure if I like this one.. but.. I guess I'll put it up anyway.

Uhm.. leave a review? Pretty please? :D I has cookies!

Well.. crumbs. D: Close enough!