You Get What You Need

by RoczaDeb

The members of SG-1 have gone their separate ways. Can Jack bring them back? Can he get them to forgive themselves? Or is SG-1 truly just a memory? Sequel to 'You Can't Always Get What You Want.'

1. Chapter 1

You Get What You Need

By Rocza

Season: 9

Spoilers: 0901-0902 Avalon, 0903 Origin, 0904 The Ties That Bind, 0905 Beachhead, 0910-0911 The Fourth Horseman

Categories: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe

Pairing: Jack/Sam overtones but not ship, per se

Characters: Jack, Sam, Teal'c, Daniel, Hammond, Landry, Cam, Janet

Content Level: NC-17

Content Warning: Refers to Violence and Rape (M/M/F), Language

Summary: The members of SG-1 have gone their separate ways. Can Jack bring them back? Can he get them to forgive themselves? Or is SG-1 truly just a memory? Sequel to 'You Can't Always Get What You Want.'

Archive Permissions: The story is the property of the author and may not be posted without the author's consent. Any who want it are welcome. Just give me credit.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and Atlantis and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions; not me. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement intended.

Author's Notes: I know, I'm horrible for breaking up the team. But here is my chance to bring them back together. The last part was about the break up. This part is about healing and restoring what was lost. It starts when Sam is about 7 months pregnant.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

PART 2

Chapter 1 – A Time to Plant

"You can't always get what you want, But if you try sometimes, well you just might find, You get what you need." – You Can't Always Get What You Want by The Rolling Stones

"And how does that make you feel?" David asked quietly.

Jack pondered the question before finally replying. They had been discussing Sam's latest email. Sam had been almost religious about sending him any and every detail about her pregnancy. But no matter how long or how detailed, Jack felt her separation from him acutely. She never mentioned anything about herself that wasn't about the pregnancy…nothing he could use to reconnect with her…nothing that would give him the feeling that she was more than a casual acquaintance. Each message served to shred his heart a bit more. He loved this child so much already, but he had loved its mother for longer. Her repeated rejections hurt more than he could admit …but he couldn't tell her to stop sending them. In fact, he both anticipated and dreaded the day, only two months in the future, when she went into labor because it would signal the end of her emails. As hurtful as they were, they were his only connection to her…His last connection to her and he didn't want to lose that connection yet.

"I don't know. I mean…it's all mixed up…happy, sad, angry, frustrated…I just…don't know." Jack sighed softly and wondered, yet again, why he kept coming back to counseling.

Jack had never liked psychologists. He didn't like them asking invasive questions. He didn't like them dragging his emotions out of him. He just didn't do the emotional thing…but here he was yet again, talking to Dr David Jones about his feelings, about Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c, and about the new baby.

Weirder yet, Jack was actually talking. Yeah, he understood that the counseling sessions that General Hammond had required were for his own good. Hell, he even understood the importance of talking it out. He had made an extra effort this time to be honest up front. To try and work through his pain before he lost his friends to an alien influenced act. He had succeeded in getting past the trauma of the rape only to find no one waiting for him. He had healed his heart and mind to find himself abandoned by the very friendships he had been trying so hard to preserve.

Next thing he knew, he was returning to the shrink and spilling even more of his guts. Apparently, when he finally decided to do this emotional thing, he felt the need to go all the way. He had trusted the shrink with all of his hopes and fears for his friends as they moved on without him. Jack trusted the man's advice as he worked through his abandonment and the stress of his new job. It was kind of weird how easily he trusted this shrink. He was usually suspicious by nature and seldom trusted anyone, but this guy… he had intuitively trusted this guy from the first time he laid eyes on him.

The good doctor came highly recommended. Dr Jones had spent years counseling combat veterans. His more recent patients were the walking wounded at Walter-Reed Medical Center. Jack doubted that he would ever learn how Hammond had gotten the shrink the necessary security clearance to see Jack, let alone hear about all of his issues both pre- and post-SGC. Even the ghostly Janet seemed to approve of him.

But that alone didn't explain Jack's reaction to the shrink. Jack TRUSTED him. Jack had trusted him since he was first forced into his office for his mandatory counseling sessions. It was a gut reaction. One he couldn't ignore. One that he didn't want to ignore.

"This isn't getting us anywhere," Jack said as he suddenly sat up, fully intending to leave.

David's soft chuckle stopped him, "You got somewhere better to be, General?"

Jack responded to the familiar laugh with a smile of his own. Out of the corner of his eye Jack watched as the doctor pushed his glasses back up his face while he grinned.

The image struck him because of its familiarity. Jack slowly turned and saw the doctor in a new light. He examined him closely and felt his heart clench painfully.

"What is it, General?" David asked, noting his change in expression.

Jack shook his head trying to banish the stray thought, but it wouldn't budge. Instead, Jack finally realized why he trusted THIS psychologist on sight. This psychologist was a dead ringer for one Dr Daniel Jackson.

Jack had thought he was getting over the absence of his friends. He had hoped that he was better. Instead, he realized that he had simply been trying to replace them. Or maybe he had been trying to find them again…

"Crap," he said quietly. "I just realized that I do have somewhere better to be…and I've put it off long enough. Thanks for all your help, Doc."

"Just a part of the service, General," David replied, his smile back in place.

Jack walked out of the office with a heavy heart. Now that he knew why he trusted the doctor, he would never return.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Lt Colonel Cameron Mitchell stared up at the Stargate in wonder. He was finally here. All his hard work had paid off. He almost couldn't believe that he was standing in front of the Stargate. It was pure luck that put him in Antarctica in time to lead the F-302 squadron in defense of SG-1. Just as luck saved him from dying in the subsequent crash and later from frostbite and hyperthermia as he waited for rescue.

Of course standing here now, he thought that maybe it was a bit less luck and a bit more fate. Because as overwhelming as it felt to finally be here, his goal through all the pain of rehab, it also felt oh so right. He couldn't think of anywhere else he wanted or needed to be. Like his whole life to this point was simply to prepare him for this one moment.

He reached down to gently touch the metal of the giant ring, trying to ground himself from the overwhelming feeling of destiny that swamped him. His grandmother's words floated to him from the distant past, 'when God touches your soul, Child. You'll know it. And you'll know that it was Him that put you where He wanted you.'

Cam pulled his hand away from the Stargate and suddenly felt very humble. Perhaps, it was more than fate that had him here at this time after all. He didn't remember much from his bible study classes, but he knew beyond the shadow of doubt that those touched by God seldom lived long comfortable lives.

The sound of the Gateroom door opening drew his thoughts away from destiny and back to his surroundings as a Chief Master Sergeant approached him.

"Colonel, I'm Chief Harriman," the Chief stated simply in introduction.

Cam got up from his crouched position by the Stargate and walked down the ramp towards the Chief.

"The general's ready for you," the Chief announced.

Cam smiled and nodded his thanks to the chief before heading out the door. "It's bigger than I thought it'd be," he said to himself, trying to shake off his earlier mood.

"Yes, Sir," the Chief's voice followed him. "Welcome to Stargate Command."

With those words the oppressing weight of destiny seemed to once more push down on him before lifting once and for all. Lt Colonel Cameron Mitchell paused briefly as the feeling passed before continuing his journey, his thoughts turning to the challenges that lay ahead of him.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Cam had been with the SGC for less than two days and he was now convinced that God had a perverse sense of humor. No sooner had he become convinced that he was destined to help save the world alongside the greatest heroes of his generation, when he was told that the aforementioned heroes had moved on from saving the world.

First, he was blown off by Dr Jackson. Granted, he didn't really know the archeologist all that well, but he didn't expect to get the royal brush off. It was almost as if Jackson was more afraid of staying then leaving for another hostile galaxy. Though, Cam was sure he sensed a bit of sadness in the archeologists eyes before the brush off. So maybe, he wasn't as eager to leave as he was pretending.

Then there was Teal'c. The alien had been more than willing to meet with him in between council meetings. But as reluctant as he was to return to the council meeting, he seemed more reluctant to discuss returning to Earth as a member of SG-1. In fact, he evaded the subject with the skill of a true diplomat. It seemed to Cam that Teal'c had expected Cam to ask him another question entirely. Perhaps he would have returned to Earth willingly, but only if Cam could figure out what Teal'c had expected him to ask first.

Finally, there was Lt Colonel Samantha Carter. Sam was his classmate. She had been one of his friends at the academy and through pilot training. He knew her better than anyone else at the SGC. But even she had been distant over the video conference. She seemed content with her work at Area 51, hell, she was practically glowing with good health. So the work must be good for her. But she too seemed sad, almost as if she regretted turning him down. And her line, 'I have my reasons for wanting this job,' didn't quite ring true.

But…they all did have perfectly reasonable excuses for not wanting to come back. Atlantis probably did need Dr. Jackson's expertise in all things Ancient. Teal'c's leadership probably was best spent building a new free Jaffa nation. And Sam…probably did have her reasons…likely well thought out and extensively outlined. But that didn't make them anything but excuses... Instead of being reassured with their reasoning, Cam felt warning bells going off in his mind. Something was terribly wrong and somehow he was supposed to fix it.

Now, if he could just figure out what IT was…

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Sam gently pushed away from the table and rested her hand on her belly with a small, sad smile. Cam had been most insistent that she had to come back to the SGC and SG-1. But, even if she had wanted to return, at seven months pregnant, she couldn't. She couldn't risk the health of her child to calm his fears.

She was needed here. She was helping to make the most of the technology that was brought back through the Stargate. She had already made a major break-through in shield technology and her system upgrade for the new Daedalus class ships would improve integration with the new Asgard hyperdrive.

But even if she hadn't been pregnant, she didn't think that she could stay at the SGC. She had too many memories of that place that included her general. Too much laughter, blood, and pain all mixed into the rooms and hallways that made up the SGC. Just being there would force her to remember all that she had lost… all that she could never have.

No. It was better to be here… watching and helping as she could. Carrying a child she would never raise. Loving a man she never intended to see again.

Here, at least, she could feel useful. Here she could do what was needed to ease his burden. Here she could mourn all that was lost, without all those knowing eyes asking forbidden questions.

Yes, here was much better. Cam would learn to stand on his own two feet. He would learn the same way she had. He didn't need to burden himself with her mistakes. He deserved a clean slate.

She stood up and made her way slowly back to her lab. She had her mission and she needed to get back to it.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

TBC