Ditzy and the Doctor assassinate Princess Luna!
Part 1: Bad Bets and a letter...
"Heads," the pegasi called as a gold bit landed in front of her hooves, her eyes unable to properly focus on it, "That makes it 247 heads and no tails so far. You sure you want to continue?" The earth pony in front of her looked confused, as if his world was slowly but surely being flipped on its head but these bits and the smiling pegasi in front of him, before he drew out yet another bit and balanced it on one of his front hooves, ready to flip it.
"You know...it should be simple probability...I mean, it is one of the few certainties..." he flipped the bit and it landed before the pegasi once more. He stood with bated breath as he waited for his companion's verdict.
"Heads," came the answer from the still smiling pegasi.
"I mean, in a world where there are certainties and variables, the probability of the bits landing on their heads should be equal...I can't fathom why...a lesser pony may be moved to re-examine his or her's fate..." he turned around and, gazing down the marble lined street, drew out another bit, and flipped it over his shoulder toward the grey pegasi.
"Heads," came the answer.
"I mean, certainty is but the only variable that we can truly rely on to be true, but this is strange…No one pony can truly propose that nothing is certain, or that you can truly change the variables…Just as they can propose that a coin will always land heads…." He took out another bit, and he flipped it again towards the pegasi.
There was a short silence as the pegasi watched the coin spin for a short moment, or three, before falling with a soft clink on the tiled side-walk.
"Heads," came the answer.
"I mean, you could say that life is like flipping a bit, and taking bets upon the side it lands upon. If your bet is true, then life will succeed, if not, then, well…Hard to truly say…You could lose faith in Celestia, Luna and all that if this kept up for a normal pony…Might even throw your lot in with that Discord fellow, if this sort of thing kept up..." another bit was flipped, and another answer called.
"Heads."
"I mean, let me give you an example. I mean, if you take...um...lets say...ten...umm..." he was thinking, when he saw a small purple and green dragon walking down the street towards him, probably on an errand for his owner, or friend, completely unaware of the existential crisis happening barely three metres away, and he got an idea. He paused, and turned to face his friend with a smile on his face.
"Say if you take ten dragons, and you throw them into the air...you would say that you have an equal opportunity for some to land on their tails, and some to land on their heads. So why not these bits?" he said, removing yet another bit, and flipping it towards his friend. He was very hopeful about this one.
"Wait...Tails! No...wait...sorry, heads again," the pegasi said, much the disappointment that she had within her soft, sweet voice.
"Huh..Well, what's the score now?" he asked while sitting himself down against the wall next to his grey friend.
"252 heads to...zero tails," said the pegasi as she joined him in sitting down against the wall, the same large smile on her face.
"Hmmm...You know, that's never as satisfying as I imagine," he mused, gazing at the large poster that advertised an upcoming fashion event or the such that was going to happen in a week or so. The corners of the poster were frayed, and the whole thing was stained with the rain that had been hurtling itself across Equestria for the past four days, with it only having cleared up an hour or so before the Earth Pony and the Pegasi had arrived to this street.
"Well, you were the one to make the bet, and I'm 252 bits richer now so I'm not going to be complaining. Once more?" She tagged on the end, having enjoyed the previous bet, the latest in a many a run of a similar bet that these two have had going for at least a year now.
"No. I'm afraid that I'll run out of bits before I've even started!" he laughed softly after he had said this, shaking his head gently, and the grey pegasi just continued to smiled at him warmly.
They sat in silence for a short while, watching as the few other ponies went about their day to day business, seeing the various rich characters walked about enjoying the warm, if dulled due to the cloud cover, sun that shone down upon the marble city. Suddenly, the pegasus broke the silence, tilting her head slightly as she spoke, the hint of confusion lacing her voice.
"Hey, Doc?"
"Yes?"
"Where exactly are we again?"
Doctor Whooves looked at her blankly, while the pegasi smiled up at him innocently. He spoke to her, confusion tingeing his soft voice, just as it had done to his companion.
"Can't you recall?"
"I can remember that we got off a train...and passed a bakery...but not the name of this place," was her answer.
Doctor Whooves sighed, a small smile still etched upon his face. He ruffled the pegasi's light blonde mane, and replied;
"Canterlot, my dear Ditzy...Canterlot."
Ditzy just hummed with a sense of content at this, and asked, with heft of seriousness tingeing her voice, "Why are we here?"
"To deliver a letter and to join some ponies for this ball, or gala, or whatever they have hosted this time of year." Whooves stated, standing up out of his previous sitting position, shaking his hooves slightly as he began to move..
"Where's the gala, then?" Ditzy asked, joining him in standing up, following suite with shaking her hooves, although she also stretched her oft used wings as well..
"That...That I'm currently unsure of, exactly..." for the first time in a long while, Doctor Whooves was unsure about what he was going to do. Ditzy nervously gave a soft laugh, causing the Doctor to look at her from the corner of his eyes.
"A bit of a problem, eh? Like you losing those bits to me!" she continued to laugh softly, until the Doctor shot her a dark look, quickly, if only temporarily, silencing her.
"A problem? How?" he demanded.
"Well," the pegasi gave a nervous laugh, "If we don't know where the gala is set, then how can we get there?"
"Has that stopped us two before?" he asked harshly, before getting up and beginning to walk down the street. Quite confused, Ditzy hurried to get up and follow him, trotting quickly to be by his side. But,by the time she had caught up, he was halfway down the street, and she was beginning to struggle to match his pace.
"Hey wait!" she called as she ran to him, causing him to turn ever so slightly as she approached him, although he didn't quite stop. "Doc!"
"Hmmm?"
"What was that about?" she asked, out of breath from her running. He turned back to face forward, and continued on his way, only throwing a few words over his shoulder at the confused mare.
"What about suspense?"
"What suspense?" Ditzy looked confused for a moment while she waited for the Doctor to reply, her large eyes looking every way, except forward.
Doctor Whooves just sighed, and his shoulders slumped slightly as he continued walking down the long street."It must be the law of diminishing returns...I feel that something's going to happen today, dear Ditzy." He stopped, turning to look at an old poster that seemed to be for the gala of a previous year, judging by its wear and tear from the elements.
"Like what?" The confusion was still there, but it wasn't as physically noticeable on her face as it was a few fleeting moments prior, instead being replaced by a large smile.
The Doctor's voice suddenly went quiet, a shallow whisper of its usual volume. He looked over his shoulder, not at Ditzy, but just past her, as if he could see something, or just sense a premonition drifting down the breeze, like a crisp autumnal leaf falling to signify the change in season. "Just...something. Something that could change our lives forever."
For a moment, just slightly briefer than her confusion, Ditzy Doo eyes suddenly focused on the Doctor, before inevitably drifting apart again, but the fear was still there. "That's...awfully foreboding, Doc."
The Doctor laughed, and all the seriousness from his voice disappeared in an instant, and he returned to his usual self. "Oh, come now, Ditzy. I'm just teasing. It's probably nothing." And with that, he continued on his merry way down the gilded streets of Canterlot.
Ditzy looked skeptically at the Doctor, her large eyes only just concentrating on him, as a small, pouty form of a frown replaced the fear. "That doesn't really reassure me, though."
"And why is that?" Ditzy couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic, or if he was genuinely unaware of why such a statement from him wouldn't reassure his equally as absent minded partner.
"Because it's never nothing when you're about, that's why." She was blunter about than she meant to be about it, but it was probably for the best.
The Doctor scoffed as he waved a hoof over his shoulder at he r"Oh, come now. Probability argues that it could be nothing."
"And the coins argued that it's always heads." Came the quick reply.
The Doctor stopped in his tracks, and took a deep breath, as if he was going to rebut her statement, but he only said, "Touche."
"What's that mean?"
"Oh, you know, like, point conceded. Anyway, lets find some directions. I mean, how hard could it be to get to a gala in the middle of Canterlot?"
"From what I've heard, you'd be surprised…" Said Ditzy, as she remembered what her old friend, Rainbow Dash, had told her about the last Gala she'd gone to.
They walked in silence, taking in both the sights of the Capital, and each other's company. In continued like this for a few minutes, each taking the same gaze at posters on the wall, abstract café menus, quaint and fashionable shop displays, and the other such blasé wonders dotting the street. Soon, however, Ditzy broke that fragile silence betwixt the two.
"Hey, Doc, who's the letter for, anyway?"
The Doctor looked confused for a second. "Letter? What...Oh! Letter!" And with that, he withdrew the wax-sealed envelope from the small bag draped over Ditzy's neck.
"Had you forgotten about it already, Doc?" Ditzy had a small, yet sly, smile on her face as she said that.
"Oh, maybe for a moment, Ditzy. But anyway, you were asking who it's for, right?"
"Yeah. I mean, is it for the likes of Fancy Pants or that sort?" She said that with the slightest hint of distaste lacing her beautiful voice, but the Doctor took little to no real notice.
"Even higher, my dear." Now it was the Doctor's turn to have a sly smile across his face.
"Even higher?" She was confused for a second, until the Doctor held the letter directly before her eyes, giving her a moment to focus on the intricate scrawl that named the receiver.
"Yes. You see Ditzy, we need to deliver this letter to non-other than-"
Ditzy gasped when she made the name out.
"Princess Luna!"
"Yes. Princess Luna indeed…" and with that, they began to make their way slowly, but surely, to the Royal Canterlot Palace, and into a whole nest of trouble.