You had never believed in love at first sight, or in love for that fact. It wasn't until you had seen him, standing tall, with his shoulders slouched yet strong with his head tilted to the side, his eyes squinted in concentration, that you realized love was very real and it was going to end too soon.
It was a bitter sweet realization.
At first you just watched as he stared at the vending machine, not pushing any buttons… he was just staring at it. You didn't want to act like you were stalking but the way he was just standing there… perplexed… like he didn't know what he didn't know… it made you curious.
You had intended to stumble past, onto another machine but how could you have? When he turned to you he didn't say anything, he just smiled and looked down, his shoulders slumping further. You… you understood somehow; what he was asking. It was you who pressed the button, the machine churned and the soda thudded when it fell. The wonder on his face made your heart stop. They joy he showed next made emotion catch in your throat. When he bent to retrieve it you hadn't realized you had stopped breathing.
He looked at you for a moment. You must have looked ridiculous; the way your mouth was parted in awe, how you didn't blink, how you hardly breathed…
He smiled apologetically and you fell. His dark windswept hair, the stubble following the line of his strong jaw, the way his tie was esque … you fell hard.
You nodded a smaller, shyer smile on your lips.
You stepped away then, you didn't want to.
You didn't exchange a word, you didn't need to.
There was just a small squeak and clatter as you moved.
It didn't matter if he knew or even if he felt anything too, you had to go on. You had to keep walking… nothing good would come if you stayed, if you spoke, if you heard the strangers voice. The stranger who stared at vending machines…
Yet you couldn't.
He opened his mouth to speak; you help up your free hand, insisting on the silence. He studied you with the same expression as he had the vending machine. You met his eyes; they were pure blue, like gateways to the evening, taken aback by the happiness, the sadness, by the emotions you showed him in your own… silently he followed your request. After what you hoped was an eternity he smiled again as he left.
You let yourself spar one thought towards him; who wears a trench coat in the summer?
You watched him walk away as you knew you would. When he got to the end of the hospital corridor he turned back as you hoped he would. You looked at him one last time before you nodded, smiling and he disappeared through a door. Gone… like he should.
Smiling weakly to yourself, you touched the tube on your arm and held the I.V. stand for support. You looked down at your wrist, there was only one word. You would never hear that word and that was ok. That's what happens when you are destined to die. There was no need to put anyone else through that pain; it was just the way it should be. That's why your family thinks you're on a three year trip to Europe, not in a hospital, waiting for the priest to read you your last rights. They had let you go for a last walk to get a soda as you waited which was fine. It was all fine.
You didn't realize your frail heart could still break though, that... now that was a surprise.
With your free hand you inserted your dollar, pushed the button and waited. The thud didn't come and a sold out sign appeared next to it. You groaned in frustration your wakened head tapping against the I.V. stand, the cold tapping against your skin in a final curse. Then you laughed. It was a strained dry laugh but it felt nice. It was ironic that you had a way of losing things you didn't know you actually wanted. Leukemia was like that, life was like that… will death be like that?
There was a click behind you accompanied by a hiss. You turned avoiding the wheels of the stand. You froze. He was there his hand extended with the beverage now open.
"Please." Was all he said his offer as irresistible as the new night which glistened in his eyes. The soul bearing blue of those eyes you could just dive into, your mind swimming around in those eyes, a way to live forever.
You smiled into the eyes of the stranger who stared at vending machines, the stranger who wore trench coats in the summer, who had taken the last soda on your last day… the stranger who had come back despite your obvious conditions…
How could you resist the please of a stranger?
