A day in my life, By Arthur Pendragon

by Princessa Guinevere

Arthur writes a diary for a day in his life. It only happens to be the most important day ever! the day he unites with Merlin... "You hold my heart in your hands."

A Day in my life, by Arthur Pendragon.

Well, it all began this morning when Merlin (The complete idiot that he is) came into my room to wake me only to find me already up and dressed.

"You're late." I said. I was not impressed at all.

"Sorry sire. I overslept by accident." Merlin was giving me pathetic excuses already.

"That's the third time this week. I must remind you I am not a patient man."

"Yes sire. I'm really sorry, I'm just the worst manservant ever." Merlin carried on with his chores, sighing his sentence out almost.

"Don't flatter yourself. Get me some breakfast, I'm famished."

"Yes sire." Merlin left without another word. I sighed heavily and just relaxed for the first time that morning. My heart was sinking. And sinking fast. Not too much later, Merlin returned with my breakfast.

"Finally, took you long enough. Idiot."

All I heard from Merlin was a muttered 'ungrateful Prat.'

"Merlin?"

"Yes sire?"

"Thank you. I understand that I have been a little harsh on you these past few days-" Merlin went to retaliate. "I know, understatement of the year. Just don't take it all to heart, I've been under a lot of stress lately."

"Prince Arthur Pendragon, was that an apology?" Merlin smirked goofily.

"No, it was a confession. Don't get your hopes up." I replied flatly.

"Still think it was an apology. And don't worry, I won't tell a soul."

"Now get out of my sight. I want to eat in peace."

"Yes sire." I could tell that Merlin left with that stupid grin on his face. After he left, the place felt cold. I sighed once more before slumping down into my chair and eating my breakfast. Once I'd finished, I heard someone knocking on my chamber doors.

"Enter." I said, gruffly.

Morgana wandered into my chambers, smiling as she glided to my side.

"Good Morning, Arthur. Isn't it lovely outside? Seems like the perfect day for hunting..." Morgana was creating light conversation, but I knew she wanted something.

"What do you want?" My voice was blunt.

"I need a favour." What a surprise. Nothing ever changes with her.

"Do enlighten me."

"Could you help me avoid the banquet this evening? I really don't want to be dining with an entourage of Bayard of Mercia. I have more pressing matters to attend to."

"Why can't you tell him? I'm always solving your damn problems and finding you pathetic excuses. I've had enough, I've got enough on my own plate."

"Because Uther will insist, whereas with you, he lets you get away with murder."

"Don't remind me..."

"Please, Arthur?"

"Fine, but this is the last time I'm doing it. I mean it. You'll have to get the servants to bail you out next time."

"Thank you, Arthur. I knew you would. You're so kind to me... What's been troubling you?"

"Don't ask."

"Well, too late for that, I already did. Now tell me."

"I am having... realisations...of an extreme manner."

"Realisations of what, Arthur?"

"Now that is personal."

"Don't tell me... you've realised you're gay."

"How did- I mean- What? No! That's absurd!"

"Caught you out, Arthur Pendragon. You are gay."

"No I'm not..." My voice became weak.

"You so are. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. If you must know, I realised I was swayed towards girls years ago."

"You are? Father would kill you if he ever found out... you know how badly he reacts to things of this particular nature!"

"That's something Uther doesn't need to know and you won't tell him, either."

"Please, I wouldn't out someone of my own kind to my father."

"So...Who is it?"

"What?"

"Who is it that you're in love with?"

"Well, that's exactly it. I'm not sure."

"You're in love with many?"

"No, I'm unsure if I'm actually in love with him..."

"If he caused you to rethink your sexuality, you are so in love with him. Infatuated, even. Is it Sir Pellinore? I hear he's swayed..."

"No! Morgana, you know better than anyone I would not start an affair between another knight and myself. Good lord, what kind of person do you think I am?"

"Ah, it's someone lower down the chain. I know exactly who."

"Say it." I dreaded those words leaving my lips. I did not want Morgana to confirm what I had established in my mind.

"Merlin. He's the only one who is not of your status and he's rather close to you at most times."

God did I regret nodding my head.

"So it IS him!"

"No need to yell it to the turrets, gees."

"Don't worry Arthur, your secret is safe with me."

Morgana left without another word. I had been hopelessly defeated by my own half-sister. What I hadn't noticed is the gasp Morgana made when she found someone eavesdropping at my door.

"She's right... I'm hopelessly in love with him." I spoke to myself, still unaware of the two people who were listening in.

It was only when I heard two sets of footsteps running down the halls that I began to realise that someone was actually listening.

"Bugger."

I went down to the armoury where one of the servants helped me dress in my armour. It was nothing compared to the touch of Merlin's hand against my skin. I grabbed my sword, muttered a 'thanks' and left abruptly. Perhaps training would take my mind off things.

But it didn't.

Of all people I saw, I had to see Sir Kay, Sir Leon, Sir Pellinore, Sir Galahad and Merlin standing in the courtyard.

"Merlin!" I bellowed at the top of my lungs. Merlin knew he was in trouble. "Where were you? I had to have one of the other servants help me on with my armour, which by the way, is YOUR job, need I mention?"

"Sorry sire, I was caught up by the knights."

"Well, need I remind my knights that they are not to speak to servants unless it is for orders. Am I clear? Sir Pellinore, have I made myself clear?"

"Yes sire. I'm sorry." Sir Pellinore snapped out of the supposed trance he was in. He was gazing at Merlin. My Merlin. If looks could kill, I swear, Sir Pellinore would be ash.

"Merlin, shouldn't you be doing something and not just standing there, gawking like the idiot you are?" I drawled.

"Uh, sorry sire, I'll go see if Gaius needs me..." Merlin left quickly.

"My lord, are you alright?" Sir Leon could see straight through me, I was sure.

"I'm fine, Leon, can we just get on with training?" I huffed, unsheathing my sword. Today was going to be a long session.

I paired up with Leon for sparring and Kay faced off Galahad. Pellinore, however, sat down on a hay bale, proceeding to watch us. I was not impressed.

"Pellinore! Get up! You need practice." I told him off sternly.

"Sorry sire... It's just I have something on my mind." Pellinore was staring up into the sky.

"Pray, do share with us."

"I have found a love which dare not speak its name."

"Who be the fine looking maiden in your midst, my boy? " Galahad patted Pellinore on the back, almost as if they were father and son.

"Well, that be the thing. It not be a maiden. It makes the love unspeakable."

My eyes narrowed. So that's why he was gazing at Merlin...he was in love with him too!

"Do share anyway." Galahad encouraged the young knight to speak out.

"Well...he isn't of the same status and nobility...in fact, he's only a serving boy."

I was seething. It only confirmed my suspicions. I couldn't hold back, a wave of fury swept over me.

"It's Merlin isn't it?" I blurted out.

"Um..." Pellinore was now a bright red. I exploded.

"Well if you take one move towards my manservant, I swear I will kill you. Merlin is my servant and he is not to be anyone else's property!" I instantly regretted the words when they left my lips.

"Sire? Is this what has been bothering you?" Galahad, Kay and Leon all looked shocked.

"I..." I blanked. For the first time in my life, I blanked. I did the only thing that was on my mind at the time. Run. I ran straight back to my chambers. I found out later the conversation that followed when I left, courtesy of Galahad, Kay and Leon. They have earned my respect and trust through the experience.

"Pellinore, was it really Merlin?" Galahad had to ask.

"No. It was one of the stable hands. I can see where he got the idea from..." Pellinore felt awful.

"Well, we better go see if he's okay. Arthur never runs from a challenge. He's serious about this." Leon was concerned for my wellbeing, which eased me a little.

"Indeed. Arthur would never run. Come on, we need to find him." Kay nodded to the other three. They all followed him. Soon enough, I had all four of them knocking on my chamber doors.

"Enter." I said, my voice filled with nerves.

"My lord, Pellinore informed us that it wasn't Merlin he was on about." Kay spoke boldly.

"It wasn't?" I was slightly surprised to say the least. I had confessed something which wasn't necessary at all. I felt real stupid.

"No. Is there something you want to tell us?" Leon sat beside me.

"No. I told Morgana this morning and I don't plan to pour myself out to you. No offense and I appreciate the concern."

"That's fine. I promise with my whole heart that I shall not tell your father." Leon placed a hand on his chest.

"I promise also." Galahad mimicked Leon's gesture, as did Kay and Pellinore. I felt... glad. Something I hadn't felt in a long time. Knowing I had the men's respect and trust meant I was more of a prince now than before.

"Thank you. Your promise means a lot to me." I smiled.

"My lord, did you want me to get Merlin from his chambers? I think it best you tell him. We're advising Pellinore to do the same." Kay suggested.

"Merlin trusts you, Kay, so I think it would be best. Pellinore, do take heed their words. They are wise to advise you so. And know you shall not be alone in pursuing your dreams." I looked to Pellinore, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Kay bowed lowly and went to get Merlin. Pellinore smiled at me, knowing he was not alone in the quest he took. Pellinore, Galahad and Leon all left in search of the stable hand which had caught Pellinore's attention. Kay returned sometime later with Merlin in tow.

"My lord. Your servant was slacking off, I came to you to get his punishment." Kay winked at me subtly.

"Thank you, Kay. That will be all. I decide his fate from here." I managed to disguise my tone. Kay bowed lowly and left. "What idiocy have you been up to this time, Merlin?"

"I haven't done anything, actually." Merlin replied sarcastically.

"I know you haven't. That's why I got Kay to send you here."

"What? You planned this?" Merlin's eyes narrowed at me.

"Don't take it the wrong way. I needed an excuse to talk to you."

"Talk to me? About what?"

"Earlier... I was a bit of a Prat. I successfully managed to make a complete idiot of myself in front of four of my knights. I may or may not have accidently mistook what Pellinore said the wrong way, thinking he meant you and threatened him that if he were to ever go near you, I would kill him."

"Sire, I have no idea what you mean." By god, was it really that oblivious to Merlin?

"Perhaps I'm not making myself clear..."

"No, you're not."

"Well... I'm not quite sure how to say this, since I suck at romance, but I..." I stopped. Why was telling him so damn hard?

"You what, sire?"

"I'minlovewithyou." I mumbled quickly.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I said I'm in love with you, idiot!"

"You-"

"Look, before you lose all respect for me as I am, just know how hard it has been for me to accept the fact that I am gay." God I sounded pathetic.

"Sire..."

"Arthur. My name is Arthur."

"Arthur... I had no idea. So that's why you've been really moody towards me lately. I knew something was up."

I just stood there, looking at him, hoping he'd understand.

"Well... If I had known sooner, I probably would have done something about it."

"I didn't exactly feel like spelling it out to you... I was scared you'd run from me, which is the last thing I want."

"I have no idea what to say to you right now, Arthur."

"Well, in your decision, please know that my heart lies in your hands."

Merlin smiled at me. I would have melted, had it not been for me being the prince.

But by god did Merlin have a wonderful smile. I just hoped he would be merciful if he did decide to let me down.

"Arthur... I... I love you too. Always have. Always will. As idiotic as I am, I fell head over heels for a Prat. A kind, understanding, loving, really-quite-a-good-person-once-you-get-to-know-him Prat but in my eyes, he is more than that. He is king of Camelot, of Albion and most of all...the king of my heart."

"Merlin, that is probably the most beautiful thing I have ever heard you say."

"Careful, Arthur, that almost sounded like a compliment."

"Well, start getting used to them." I looked up into his orbs, smiling.

Merlin smiled back. He was mine. That is the one thing I could say for that moment. He was mine. Pride cursed through my veins, my heart swelling three times bigger it seemed.

"Arthur... I think we should start slow to begin with." I knew this was going to happen.

"I know. I wouldn't go any faster than you wanted to. I literally meant that when my heart was in your hands, it was in your hands. You could have crushed it if you desired to. You're the only weakness I have."

"Then I will make your weakness the strongest part of you."

That did it. It clicked something in my head, god knows why, but it did. I couldn't help myself. I gently pressed my lips to Merlin's. The moment was just soul-enlightening, making the fire within my soul burn brighter than ever. I felt as if my very being was being caressed by the soul only known as Merlin. I became worried when Merlin didn't respond. I tried pulling away but that only got me into deeper trouble. Merlin responded alright, pulling me deeper into his soul. I was now totally at his will. Only one man could control me. His name? Merlin.