...So, how's it going? Yes, yes, I'm still here. Over 7 months is long I know and I'm sorry. Problems over summer and I knew school was going to be hard for me this year so I had to concentrate more on that. But I think that next year is going to be worse… Anyway, I'm on winter break now and am posting a one-shot to get back into writing.

This is just a little fic on L and his relationship with Watari, Wammy's House, Light, the Taskforce, and his life, I guess.

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.

Oh, and, um, some spoilers? Not sure if there are any, but be forewarned, anyway.

Inner Reflection

L's POV

I watched the rain pelt down on the buildings in front of me with no mercy. Its impact left the droplets smashing on the metal and bouncing to fall off the roof at a rapid pace. Thunder roared above me and lightening flashed.

I felt the water hit me. My white shirt was soaked and a little see-through. My jeans were drenched and looked a darker shade of blue. My black hair clung to my face in wet clumps, a couple near the front of my face. My hands are in my pockets; my shoulders slumped as if the world were on my shoulders. …But, then again, it usually is.

I felt the rain on my head and seeping into my hair, then drip down my face and onto the concrete below. I stared at nothing ahead, deep in my thoughts.

I was working on the kira case now. I formed a taskforce of highly trusted police officer willing to risk their lives on catching this omnipresent being. I feel gratitude to them for sticking with me this far. I appreciate all that they have done…everything…

Yagami Soichiro. A noble family man passionate about the justice of the law… He showed great loyalty to me and to this case. His strong desire to free his son from captivity and frightening him into killing him was very risky, yet he just wanted to prove his son innocent. He's a dedicated man that I have been honored to meet.

Matsuda Touta. A carefree individual with a pure heart. He's not the brightest, but he's still very competent and focused when he needs to be. His clumsiness knows no bounds and can be very irritating. But I know that he doesn't mean it and even through the Yotsuba incident. It still helped us trap Higuchi.

Aizawa Shuichi. An impatient man with a lot of anger towards me. He left the taskforce a while ago, but came back to help us catch the third kira, Higuchi Kyosuke. His act shows that he's willing to come back and help us through it all, even with me there. He may not show it, but I know that he has always respected me.

Mogi Kanzo. A quiet man that is very loyal and follows orders. His efficiency helped us immensely in collecting all the data on the criminals and people involved. A loyal man that will help in any possible – it being paperwork to collect or supervising a young model – has made it a lot less stressful in the making.

Ukita Hirokazu. I haven't known him for that long personally, but the way he risked his life in getting the security footage from Sakura proved his dedication. I am most remorseful that kira killed him. I would have liked to have known him more.

Amane Misa. She's my number one suspect of being the second kira and my second friend. Those tapes in her room have made me suspect her more so. She is in love with Yagami-san's son, Light. Her behavior is like from the footage from the tapes that Yagami-san got from Sakura: an interest in kira and wanting to meet him. The way she acts around Light fits in to that, yet she has no memories of it…

Then there's Light, son of Yagami Soichiro. He's my number one suspect of being Kira and my first ever friend. He seems to have no recollection of kira – thus enhancing the theory that kira's power has passed on to another host. …But…in the helicopter…I noticed him change. He is not the same Light Yagami from before that has been handcuffed to me. I'm 98% sure that he has gotten the power back. 1% is just his attitude turning more serious, and the other is my hope that he's not…

The murder weapon, the Death Note, can kill someone just from writing a person's name while picturing their face in their mind. I've read the rules over and over and have had them memorized by heart now.

The Death Note came from a shinigami – a god of death. Rem is her name. She acts uninterested and gives vague answers to our questions. Such things exist…when I first heard of it a while back, it reminded me of-

Another roar of thunder came.

I stopped that train of thought. It's a reminder of our failed system when Whammy House first came.

Whammy's House…I've lived there since I was eight. A child. The system there wasn't entirely ethical. Raising children with pressuring techniques were harmful to their mentality.

Most of us are assigned a letter – mine being L. Some children don't have a letter. My first two successors A and B were subjected to the horrible system when this all began.

A…After…committed suicide. He…couldn't handle the pressure of being first in line.

Then there's…B…Backup…next in line. Like A, he cracked under pressure. Except, he ran away from Whammy's and wanted to surpass me by being the worlds best criminal. Unfortunately for him, Naomi Misora caught him in time. He copied my image from drawings of me at Whammy's, to try to actually become me. I…feel regret for him. I never wanted him or A to pass…A from suicide or B from…kira…

Another bolt of lightening flashed and lit up the sky for a moment.

My three current successors – Near, Mello, and Matt – are next in line. I haven't seen them personally since the last time I was at Whammy's. I told Mello B's story, though, plus how I met Watari and the Detective Wars. If Near and Mello can work together, they can surpass me, but alas, they cannot. Mello's emotion and action with Near's apathy and thinking can help immensely. If Matt bothered to even try, I know that he can surpass them both. But I also know that he doesn't want to.

Reminds me of when I first got to Whammy's. A man that goes by Watari took me in and raised me to become what I am today: a super detective. Justice has been my goal since at a very young age.

Watari was a kind old man. Kind and compassionate, yet strong and hard-working. He created Whammy's house, after all. Him and his friend Roger. The man doesn't like kids, but does like to study insects. I was amused by this, wondering why such a man worked in an orphanage for orphan children. But I always knew it was because of his old friend.

Watari has helped me along over the years. Serving as my handler, we took on case after case in secrecy. He's loyal to me and I trust him completely. He's still 'got it', as I remember him shooting the tire of Higuchi's car with a sniper.

I smiled. I will never forget Watari.

I feel more rain fall down my cheek. It didn't seem to get any heavier. But then I realized as I looked up, it wasn't just the rain falling down.

They were tears.

I…was crying?

I lifted up a hand to make sure – yes, I am. I put my hand back in my pocket.

I know that I don't have much time left. I talked to Watari this morning and he knows as well. I know because I hear the bells. They remind me of the church bells that used to ring at Whammy's House. They could've been from a wedding, or from…a funeral.

I looked down at the ground again, still pensive.

If only…I could prove who kira really is…then I wouldn't feel so much like I have failed everyone. I know who he is. But I can't prove who he is. It's too late.

Watari is set to delete all data should anything happen to him. We know what to do.

This world…I would've liked to live in it for a little while longer.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Light step out onto the roof. He says something, but I can't hear him and spoon my hand around my ear, looking quizzically at him and leaning forward a bit. He says it louder. I try to process what he said but I still can't hear him and lean forward more, smiling open-mouthed at him now. He thinks for a bit and ends up walking out towards me, shielding his head from the rain with his right arm.

"What are you doing out here, Ryuzaki?"

So that's what he's been asking. Ryuzaki is my current alias.

We talk for a bit, me telling him things that leave him confused. My questions are rhetorical.

We go inside a bit later after I suggest it. As we dry, I wash his feet and he washes my hair a bit. He asks to be gentle and I apologize.

I didn't just apologize for that.

I apologized for not saving him. Light-kun is not a bad person. Kira is.

But I don't tell him this.

My phone rings a while later and Watari tells us to meet in the lobby. I agree and hang up.

"It's time to go, Light-kun."

He knows the other meaning to that sentence.

When we get back, I tell the Taskforce my original plan with the Death Note. They are angry with me.

…But then the alarms flash red.

Watari…

Something happened.

"Watari…"

There came a click.

"Watari!"

ALL DATA DELETION appeared on the screen.

I knew that he has gone…

…Wait, where was-

Everyone was confused and panicking as I said, "Everyone, the shiniga-"

Then everything became like slow motion. A searing pain in my chest erupted. I felt my fingers loosen the grip on the spoon I was holding and it clattered to the floor. I felt myself falling from my chair…

…only to be cushioned from impact to the floor from something.

"Ryuzaki!" I vaguely hear Matsuda say. "What's wrong!?"

But I can't answer. I stare at Light, who has cushioned my fall. Our eyes lock and I see his somewhat surprised expression. My right hand clutched his shoulder, left arm limp beside me. His right arm was around my torso, left arm holding my head up.

I suddenly have flashbacks of my time at Whammy's…along with the ringing of the bells…

When I saw Light's face again, he was smirking evilly at me. My face formed into an expression of horror.

I was right…

Light-kun is kira…

I feel my eyes start to close, his face still in full view of my vision still.

As I feel them close completely and my breathing evening out to a dull thud soon to be gone, I had one last thought:

Even though this has happened, kira will not win. When he goes, Light probably will, too. But even if kira has beaten me now, I am just another battle that he had to beat.

He will not win the war.

^.^.^.^.^

This line marks 6pg + over 2,000 words and I didn't even care how many I have done. Figures…that always happens to me…same for you guys?

The title may stink, and so may my vocab. I was never really good at making those…I'll probably change the title in the future. Any suggestions?

I hope you have enjoyed this little one-shot.

Read and review guys. And have a happy new year! 8D