Chapter 1
One day while Shrek was sitting in his chair he was thinking of hotdogs (yum bug juice covered hotdogs). He was thinking of who to invite to his cook out tomorrow; maybe Donkey but he was to annoying to even think of, or Puss, he was just too cute to think of right now he reminded him of Fiona, who was away at the ogre wars. Due to this accusation, Shrek was considered a stay at home mom now since he always took care of his kids. Yes this was a twisted reality but did Shrek really want to be a mom? And how did he feel about Fiona at war? Who knows? All these were questions still yet to be answered in later stories to come.
He kept thinking "well who do I know that can eat a hundred hotdogs themselves without stopping Donkey's wife, the big ass dragon". He thought to himself he would invite her so he picked up his rock phone and entered 1-800-bigassdragon. She answered and Shrek politely asked would you like to come over to my house tomorrow for hotdogs and that there will be plenty for you including mine she gave a small grin over the phone and said "yes I will be there tomorrow, big boy."
It was the next morning Shrek woke up, washed his big flabby ass, then got dressed, then brushed his teeth with bug juice, then went to the kitchen and made rat omelets with a cup of bug urine and was on his way outside to clean the grill, set out the coles, got the hotdogs out opened the package, then set them on the grill and fifteen minutes later they were done and the big ass dragon was there finally and they began to eat. She loved them and once they were all gone she asked "are there any more?" Shrek replied "no but I got this big green one that's fine for you. Want it?" she replied "no I don't like rotten weenies" then after she left he got ready for a play date for his kids.
The next week Fiona had finally made it home to check on them Shrek was overjoyed then Fiona asked him "how have my babies been." "They have been fine." Fiona said "good lets go to the bedroom I have a surprise for you." "What's that" he asked. She said "you will see in about five minutes." Then Shrek said "ok baby bring it." They jumped on each other like monkeys in the woods and then they came out the room getting re-dressed.
TO BE CONTINUED!
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone!