How To Annoy The Flock!

by Max In Training

OK, so the flock made me write this up because i am, as they put it, 'the most goddamn annoying person ever'. it is a guide on how not to annoy them. it is also a guide on how to annoy them, obviously. and so i give to you, HOW TO ANNOY THE FLOCK!

To avoid seriously annoying the flock, and therefore getting the stuffing beat out of me, these are the things I will do from now on (I know from experience, just trust me):

I will not call any member of the flock Tinkerbell

Or feathers

Or birdbrain

Or especcially birdy-kins

I will not scream "oh my god, did you just see that, Iggy?"

I will not accuse Total of being an eraser

I will not throw pencil-erasers on the ground and screech "erasers! Run!"

I will stop dying the flocks wings neon colours

I will stop carrieng my sign that says "target practise: not me, them!" when we fly anywhere

I will stop asking Max and Fang when they are getting married

I will stop asking Iggy and Ella when they are getting married

I will stop organising charity drives for the Chu Corparation

I will not force Iggy to play "I spy"

I will stop asking Fang if he is emo or goth

I will not ask Fang if he's mute or just afraid of me

I will not shriek "lies, all lies!" whenever anyone of the flock talks to me

I will stop taping Nudge's mouth closed

I will stop making air raid siren noises and shouting "the enemy is gassing the area! Get down soilders!" everytime Gazzy comes near me

I will stop informing Max that her and Fang's kids will be called Minimum and Tooth

I will stop tieing random bird kids to chairs and plucking out their primary feathers

I will stop making quills out of the feathers

I will not sing the llama song so that only Iggy can hear it and then deny it

I will not poke Total and blame Gazzy so that Angel attacks him

I will not glue Nudges hair into big spikes that stick straight up while she sleeps

I will not post the pictures on the internet

I will stop gluing the flocks wings to their arms while they sleep

I will stop gluing my own wings to my arms so I cant fly

I will stop convincing thhe flock to fly to China

I will stop forcing them to carrie me their, on account of not being able to fly because of my glued wings

I will never, never call them Maxshimummy (Max), Fangtom of the opera (Fang), Igmond (Iggy), emo gal (nudge), Rosey-posey (Gazzy) and it (Angel).

Signed:

Max in training

Max

Fang

Iggy

NuDgE

GAZZY

Angel