A/N: this follows on from my story 'And Then We Were Gone' a mini sequel sort of thing.

Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to S. Meyer, I am just playing in her sandpit.

I was swinging back and forward on the seat that sat on the back deck of the white mansion and strumming on my guitar softly, some new music and lyrics are vying for attention in my mind with an image of a feisty brown eyed girl. The scene that was unfolding behind me was so beyond fucking ludicrous. Vampires were running at blur speed, back and forward to the extremely large moving van that sat on the driveway below me. Panic is etched on every face and I just didn't give a damn about any of it.

"Jazz man, where's in hell is your stuff?" Emmett shouted at me as he ran past for the hundredth time, "All packed" I replied softly, never understood his need to shout, we were vampires and had perfect hearing. "Why's it not on the van then?" asked Rose as she too passed me, "Cause it's not going to Alaska, it's going to Texas" I said still in the low soft tone from before. Everyone stopped dead in their tracks, turning to face me and that old human saying 'You could have heard a pin drop' popped into my head.

"You're not coming with us?" whispered Esme, "No ma'am, I'm not. Just waitin' on my haulage truck comin' and Carlisle gettin' back from the hospital for one last family meetin' and then I'm headin' out" I told her calmly.

"How did I not know this, see this?" Alice demanded, hands on hips as if this would intimidate me, "Don't know, don't care Alice! Maybe you shoulda been lookin' at my future, instead of Eddie's fuckin' dick!" was my sarcastic answer. I heard his hiss from above in the bedroom he had on the third floor. "What the Fuck?" yelled Emmett from inside the juggernaut, I laughed and told them "Ask my wife, no make that my ex-wife, bet you didn't see that either Alice? papers are arrivin' with the truck Oh and Alice and you will sign them".

Carlisle arrived just then and everyone started talking at once and I just went on strumming my guitar, a tune was slowly forming. He raised his hand for silence, as he was trying to collate everyone's information quickly and said "Family meeting, I think, Jasper will you join us?" "Yup" I replied and followed them all inside.

Edward and Alice were staring at me worriedly, trying to work out why he had never heard anything in my mind and why she hadn't seen any of my recent decisions. They were so far up themselves that they don't know everybody could get round their piece of shit gifts without much trouble at all. Carlisle cleared his throat unnecessarily, he was as nervous as the other two, he had as much to lose as them for all the lies he'd been telling for decades.

"Jasper? The family tell me your leaving us and divorcing Alice" he enquires, "Yes I am Carlisle, I've been puttin' up with this shit for far too long. Alice and I are not now, nor have we ever been mates. She lied to me back in the beginnin', you guys too , goddamn she even lied to herself about that load of old horse shit. I've known the truth for over thirty years now. Basically I couldn't care less what you all do or where the fuck you go, except for Esme, Rose and Emmett" I say in a low, quiet voice.

"But when she started the crap with Eddie-boy that was a step too far" I say, "What crap with Edward? what are you talking about?" he demands, the hurt evident in his tone. "You're bein' a little self righteous there Carlisle? Seein' as you're doing the same thing too!" I comment. "What in hell is going on?" Rose shouts out loud enough to stop traffic.

" In an nutshell, Alice has been givin' Eddie the asshole blow jobs and he's refusin' to man up cause he's gay and Carlisle is jealous cause Eddie's his mate and spurned his advances when he was turned in 1918. To fuckin' straight laced to admit what he was". Stunned silence and Alice sobbing is all I can hear. "To hurt him back, he married Esme, when Edward went off on his little I'll be the judge and jury jaunt. Carlisle's bisexual so Esme was happy enough but they are not mates. But you knew that didn't you Esme?" I enquire as I feel her emotions telling me this was nothing new to her.

"Yes, It was enough in the beginning, I had, had a rough time with my human husband before I died and Carlisle was kind and gentle and I loved him for that and for giving me a new, better life, but his shouting Edward's name as he climaxes is starting to wear a little thin on the nerves." she tell us. "I'm so sorry Esme sweetheart" Carlisle claims sadly, "I know you are Carlisle, I also know you have deep feelings for me but you love Edward. I can't and won't compete with that anymore. We should have just stayed brother and sister as planned before Edward ran away" she told him.

Emmett is sitting so still, with his mouth open and his eyes darting back and forward not knowing who to look at, "Shit! it's like the best ever episode of Jerry Springer, fuck this family is crazier than I thought" he blurts out suddenly and Rose, Esme and I burst out laughing at his expression of glee.

"So I'm divorcin' Ali cause that stuff she's doin' with the him is just sick and degradin' to her, I put up with all the other men cause it saved me havin' to fake wantin' her anymore, but Eddie! come on" I give a phony shudder and put a nauseous look on my face; Emmett is rolling on the floor now, he can't believe this was all going under his nose and he never knew.

"So I have a place near Peter's and I'm headin' down there soon. Any of you three who want to join me are more than welcome. It's a big spread so we won't fall over each other and it could sure use some Esme magic" I offer them.

"Since when do we have a place in Texas?" Alice storms at me, "Since before I met you Alice, and I said it was my place not ours! You got that" I inform her emphatically and she nods. Edward and Carlisle are just staring at each other and I presume Carlisle is trying to talk some sense into Edward. They should have done this years ago, if Eddie had just accepted his sexuality, rather than trying to hide it. Their emotions are so powerful it's hard for me not to project it, "Why don't you two just kiss and make up" I say "You know you really do want too Edward, I can feel it for god's sake".

That's all it took to have them in each other's arms just as my truck pulled up, "Anyone transferrin' their stuff over better do it now" I said as I got the papers from the driver and handed them to Alice. "Nice and clean, Okay Ali?" I say, "Yeah, I suppose" she says signing them all and handing them back over with a sigh.

"I hope you find what your lookin' for Alice, I can never repay you for showin' me this life, for that I will always be eternally grateful" I tell her honestly "But the rest of that shit not so fuckin' much" and she hugs me laughing "You'll survive it Cowboy, you'll survive" she says cocking her head as if she's seen something, but I don't ask. I don't want to know what's ahead of me for once.

We hear Emmett tooting the jeep's horn and I turn to see all three of them sitting inside waving me over, "Come on slow poke! Texas is waiting "shouts Emmett from the driver's seat, I jump in beside him, "Alright, let's wind this up and move on out of here" I laugh, freely for the first time in ages, propping my guitar up against the door.

I nod my farewell to Alice, Edward and Carlisle barely notice us leaving as they're locked in a passionate embrace. I was really looking forward to whatever the future holds for the four of us and I tell them so. "It's time for you to let your hair down and just be Esme" I tell her "You don't have to play the mother anymore, I'd be privileged to have you as a sister. What do you say?" She laughs and agrees that that would be nice change for her.

"But one thing's for sure and certain, I'm damn glad I won't be around Edward and Carlisle, having to listen to and feel the emotions of them makin' up for the last ninety years! Now that is a goddamn scary thought. Maybe we'll get in touch in ten years or so and see if the house in Alaska is still standing" I laugh as I say this and everybody else joins in.

The miles fly by as Emmett drives us to our destination and the tune I was creating earlier in the day once more floods my mind along with the sexy brown eyed girl I wish I'd gotten to know. After all she was the catalyst for our new adventure, even if she will probably never know it.