Disclaimer: I do not own anything. This fic is rated M so that means that YES there will be overt adult themes, language, and tragedy. If that's not your cup of tea, you've been warned. Enjoy!

Shout out to my wonderful BETAs: Literature and Love, redninjalass19, Fizzydrink101, TheHappyKitty, and sashka2503! My work would look so rough without you

Chapter One

Bridesmaids Boot Camp

Bride's Maid Rule Number One: Do watch what you say around the Bride. All petty behavior is best done behind the scenes.

1p.m. Booty Pop Gym

The air was an unfortunate heady mix of sweat and disinfectant. Hinata cringed as she took in the whir and clank of machines coupled with the upbeat music that blared through the speakers. The women in their spandex and neon sports bras on the cardio machines were rather unnerving but the muscle men going ham near the free weights were equally so.

'Hanabi's so lucky she's just a junior bridesmaid. She doesn't have to do all this!' Hinata thought to herself as she recalled her younger sister siting waving at her from the comfort of their couch. A large bowl of popcorn in her lap and a look of mirth at her older sister's torment.

Hinata tugged at the bottom of her baggy white t-shirt, the familiar feeling of not belonging washing over her as she devised an excuse to get out of the room. Yet at that moment she was spotted by a familiar pair of brunette buns who waved her over to where the rest of the bridal party was. Tenten smiled brightly at Hinata as she approached and while Hinata tried to return the expression, her smile came out more like a grimace.

"Yay, you made it Hinata! I was sure you were going to bail!" Tenten exclaimed as Hinata blushed and became preoccupied with tying her shoes.

As the time dragged on, Tenten had begun to get genuinely concerned that her friend would bail out of yet another 'bridesmaid brigade' outing. She shuddered at the thought of enduring yet another cake tasting or dress picking on her own with the likes of Sakura Haruno and Ino Yamanaka as company. Hinata understood Tenten's disdain for the two overly excitable women. If truth be told she herself had harbored a great dislike for the two women since High School. It seemed as though when they had thrown their graduation caps in the air they would finally be rid of the two girls forever yet, as fate would have it, their bride-to-be Mira was best friends with Ino. It seemed as if their paths would forever cross with these two women. Hinata did have much against Ino outside of the fact that she could be a bit too loud and crass at times. It was Sakura Haruno that Hinata held a secret grudge against. In high school the skinny pink haired girl had embarrassed her all throughout their High School career and was definitely not someone she wished to walk down the aisle next to.

Hinata fell into line next Tenten and took sneaky looks at the two other women as they bickered. If their gym outfits were anything to go by, it appeared that Sakura and Ino had changed quite a bit from high school. Sakura had cut her pink hair into an attractive bob and was no longer as flat as a board but her chest, as it was clearly straining in her too small sports bra, was still a lot smaller than the other ladies in attendance. She still possessed slim hips and a flat stomach. Her figure was very similar to a model's and Hinata was very grateful for her baggy t-shirt's coverage, even completely covered she felt inadequate next to Sakura's lithe frame. Ino on the other hand had blossomed a lot since high school. Her long blonde hair was tied up in a bun on top of her head, her body was smooth and curvy, and her chest was something that could rival Hinata's.

"Sorry for making you wait guys!" came the twinkling voice of Mira.

The tardy woman was frantically trying to pull her shirt over her head as she made her way across the gym. Ino shook her head and went to help their friend before she knocked into one of the roid-raging body builders.

"Mira never changes, huh Hina?" Tenten asked and Hinata nodded in agreement.

They'd met Mira during their time at Konoha University and she had definitely stayed the same from freshman year til now. She had a plump frame, warm brown eyes, and a wild crop of wavy dark brown hair that could never be culled. Her smile was infectious to everyone that beheld it and she was the kindest person Hinata and Tenten knew. Deep down Hinata was a bit jealous of all that Mira was but her love for the girl allowed her to quell those negative feelings. Mira was always there for them when they were in a bind, even that meant putting her own planes on hold. Because of that Hinata and Tenten agreed to repay all of her favors by being bridesmaids in her wedding. Although, at the time they would not have readily agreed if they'd known that Ino and Sakura were to be joining them.

"Alright ladies it's time to get our sweat on!" Mira exclaimed and Sakura rolled her eyes.

"I'm just here to cheer you guys on." Sakura said but was quickly pushed onto the treadmill by Mira.

"That's the spirit Sakura. Cheer us on by joining our plight!" Mira laughed.

"Yea we all can't be bean stalks like you!" Ino snickered, ignoring Sakura's death glare, and prepared to use the elliptical.

Mira turned to Hinata and Tenten and enveloped both of them into a group hug.

"I'm so glad you two came! Especially you Hina, I was beginning to think you hated me!"

"Oh, w-well I could never h-hate you Mira. I was just b-busy!" Hinata softly explained as they separated from the hug.

"Yea our little Hinata doesn't have a mean bone in her body!" Tenten said and ruffled the top of the shorter girl's hair as Mira laughed. Hinata begged to differ; she had a couple of mean bones in her possession.

"I know I know! Well let's go sweat, I can't have Chouji thinking that he's marrying a cow." Mira said and went off to her own exercise station.

Tenten gave Hinata a knowing look that she was going to keep an eye on her in case she escaped before heading over to the free weights. Hinata sighed, Tenten knew her too well sometimes. She made her way over to the treadmill and tried to set it at a pace that wasn't too fast but still made it look like she was putting in some sort of effort. The weather was playing on the television in front of her machine and it looked as though there was a large storm brewing in the Pacific Ocean. Apparently it was one of the largest in history but it wasn't expected to make it to shore. The news casters contemplated whether it would dissipate or set off heavy showers on the main land. It was a rather dull discussion. Hinata was not one to be put down by a depressing weather man so she flicked through the channels until she found something a bit more upbeat and effectively 'got her sweat on'.

….

After the girls had sufficiently spent enough time on the gym equipment Mira expressed her wish to go into the sauna. Apparently it was just the thing they needed to relax their muscles. Hinata most certainly did not want to enter such close quarters with strangers but again, anything for her friend.

"Wow Hinata you have such large breasts!" Ino exclaimed and pointed. "I never would have guessed in high school!"

"W-well-" Hinata's face flushed a deep red and she began to stammer but was cut off by Sakura.

"When a person ate like Hinata did in high school it's no wonder that some of it went to her chest"

"That's so rude Sakura. You're just mad that you still look like a boy."

"Hmph!"

Sakura stuck her nose in the air and made her way into the steam room. Ino chuckled at the reaction she was able to illicit from her rival and put a hand on Hinata's shoulder.

"Don't worry about her. She says rude things but it's only because deep down she's jealous. She's so competitive. I think that med school is getting to her." Ino explained but the look in Hinata's eyes let her know that she wasn't hearing a single thing she said.

Ino was not one to comfort others so she just shrugged her shoulders and entered the steam room behind Sakura. Hinata felt a warm tingling behind her eyes, a signal that tears were sure to erupt. She pushed them back and tried to squash what Sakura said. She'd always been insecure about her weight, something Sakura liked to capitalize on whenever she could in the past. She had been on the pudgy side in high school but when she got to college the weight seemed to melt off under the tyrannical tutelage of Tenten. Unfortunately the scars of being bullied had yet to fully heal and when she looked into the mirror all she saw was her old fat self. "Hinata hurry up! You're missing out on all the steam." Mira called as she poked her head out of the sauna door.

Hinata quickly shook her negative thoughts away and joined the others in the sauna. She shouldn't let the likes of Sakura get her down. All she had to do was get through the madness that was Mira's wedding and then she could rid herself of the likes of the viciously beautiful Sakura Haruno.

Grooms' Men Rule Number One: His days of freedom are limited. Capitalize on this.

11 p.m. Club Sand

The alcohol was free flowing and strong, the club packed to max capacity with sweaty bodies. The rave lights were the only thing that broke up the darkness of the club. Upbeat techno music blared through the speakers and scantily clad women slid up and down the poles on the stage. Women dressed in short cocktail dress weaved their way through the masses, expertly carry trays of drinks. Sasuke smirked as the man of the hour, Chouji Akimichi, swung his shirt above his head and danced with a rather well-endowed stripper on stage. Who would have thought that Chouji would be the first among their group to get married? He had nothing against the guy but he wasn't the picture of masculine sexuality. Shino sipped his drink solemnly as Rock Lee, Kiba, and Naruto cheered their friend on stage by flinging dollars at him and the stripper. Chouji caught one of the dollars in his mouth and placed it into the stripper's G-string. She rewarded him with a very sensual ass shake on his crotch. Shikamaru and Neji were busy sipping their drinks on either side of Sasuke, thoroughly enjoying the scene before them. Sasuke was torn from his musings by a tanned woman clad in a bright red lacy bra and panty set. She coyly ran her hand over his chest and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. Her short black hair was sexily mused, long full lashes batted innocently, and her pouty red lips were ever so inviting.

"You look lonely" She whispered huskily in his ear.

Sasuke did not reply but merely allowed her to continue her ministrations on his body. She climbed onto his lap and sensually gyrated. Two other similarly clad women came over to join her and began doing to Neji and Shikamaru what has being done to him. There was nothing like having a woman in your lap that got the testosterone flowing. The woman in the red lingerie had fully unbuttoned his shirt at this point and was pleasantly surprised at his physic. She ran her hands skillfully over his chest, sending goose bumps over his skin. Her red lips kissed his collarbone. Her tongue licked its way over his neck before she began to suck on his ear lobe. Sasuke involuntary sucked in a breath at her actions. This woman knew exactly what she was doing. He could easily imagine those plump red lips around his cock.

"Wanna get out of here?" She whispered.

"Hn." Sasuke responded and the woman took that as confirmation.

She got off his lap and led him through the throngs of strippers and party goers alike. As they wandered off Sasuke looked back at his friends who all seemed to be going to various secluded points of the club. Then it clicked. A sex club. Usually strippers were not allowed to engage in sexual intercourse with their customers but Club Sand seemed to be following a different set rules. Leave it to Naruto to pick the only club in Konoha that allowed full frontal nudity and prostitution. Although he'd connected the dots that did not stem the blood that rushed to a less intelligent region of his anatomy. The woman he was with was very attractive, all the more so due to the fact that he would never ever see her again. A leave and lay was ideal. Too many women wished to climb the social ladder through his loins.

The red woman led him swiftly through the sweaty throngs and into a more secluded hall of the establishment. She pushed open a side door and inside was a dimly lit room. On the low table were a few glasses and bottles of various liquors, the walls seemed to be made of a black and red satin material, and there was a low sitting black leather couch pushed against the wall. The woman sashayed to the couch, her ass bouncing provocatively as she did. His cock twitched. The loud music of the club was now muted to a dull thump. She beckoned him over with a single finger and he hungrily followed her command. She poured two glasses of dark liquor and curiously held her glass up to Sasuke.

"A toast?" She asked.

Sasuke swirled the amber liquid in the glass, mildly amused at the woman before him. Now that they were away from the crowds and the music Sasuke could clearly hear her heavy accent. She definitely was not from around Konoha. When Sasuke did not reciprocate her action of raising his glass she merely shrugged and downed her glass. Sasuke drank his at a much slower pace and enjoyed watching the way the dark liquid made its way down the woman's throat. A bit of it escaped the corner of her mouth, she skillfully licked it away. She smirked to him when she finished and leaned in for a kiss. Sasuke turned his head so she only kissed his ear. The red woman was not put off, instead she continued what she had started in the club. She licked his collarbone and deftly slid his shirt off his shoulders. She kissed and licked her way down his chiseled abdomen before placing her hand on his crotch which was straining against the fabric of his pants.

"I need payment before we go further." She paused.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and pulled out a few bills from his pocket. The red woman counted them, when she seemed satisfied she quickly unbuttoned his jeans and wrapped her warm wet mouth around his cock.

A/N: Alright guys that's all you get for a first chapter! Its rather lengthy ne? Well I hope you guys enjoy it. There's a lot more surprises in store for you so sit tight! Chapter 2 will be premiering June 3rd, until then! Chapter 2….TSA Stand for Too Soon for Alcohol