Author's Note: I have no excuse for why I've been gone, only that my life is now VERY different from where it was a year ago. If you really want to know what's been up with me, you can always PM me. As for this story, this is just me flexing my writing muscles and trying to get back into a writing groove. I make no promises on a set update schedule, but I will be posting again as often as I am able to. SORRY I LEFT Y'ALL HANGING FOR SO LONG! I PROMISE I'LL DO MY BEST TO DO BETTER.
Onward!
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of it's character's. I'm not affiliated with anybody nor will I make any profit from this story. I own absolutely nothing and am just humoring my own insanity. I don't know, own, or have ever met Darren Criss or Chris Colfer. Everything belongs to Ryan Murphy, Glee, Fox and anyone else that has patent over Glee and it's characters. Hope I covered everything I don't own! No disrespect to the actors intended.
*WARNING* This is angsty, full of feels, oh yeah and it's Mpreg. RPF!Mpreg to be exact. Don't like it? Don't read it.
Proceed if this tickles your fancy.
~C.
(One-Shot)
Darren bit his bottom lip as he stared at the doorknob to his place, contemplating if he should have come back so soon. Chris was pretty mad when he had stormed off, and he still didn't understand how such a small argument boiled over into the complete blowout they had. He frowned as he remembered the things he said that he hadn't meant, mentally kicking himself for causing Chris so much distress during this time. Even if Chris was being unreasonable, he couldn't really help it. Not when he was so far along.
Dammit, Darren only had one job. To be there for Chris.
And he couldn't even do that right.
He sighed, shaking himself of his hesitations and finally putting his key in the damn lock. If the chain was on the door, he was going to have some serious groveling to do. But if the chain wasn't on the door…well, groveling was still necessary, but at least it meant Chris wasn't in a shouting mood anymore.
With a click of the lock, a twist of the knob, and no chain in sight, Darren let out a relieved breath. Thank goodness, maybe he can redeem himself after all. He peeked around the door and frowned at not seeing any Chris in sight. As a matter of fact, there wasn't an animal in sight either. They were still here though, right? Chris didn't—He wouldn't…
Oh no.
Stepping inside the house all the way, Darren shut the door behind him and immediately began surveying the rooms. He looked through the living room, kitchen, and their still slightly disorganized nursery. Chris would argue that the room could have been ready weeks ago if Darren would just help him more, and at this point, he really couldn't agree more. It's not that Darren doesn't want to help. It's just right now, a baby, saying that it wasn't planned or that it really wasn't the time to be having one would be such an understatement for the hectic life Darren has at the moment. But that never meant he doesn't want this, because he does. He wants this so much. More than anything else he stupidly had Chris believing he wanted more than him, than them.
Maybe he should have told Chris that more often.
Well, still no sign of his boyfriend, or their animals. However, it doesn't seem like Chris just up and left, so that was at least something. Not that he'd get very far, what with his condition being so extreme and all. So where—
Darren finally paused in his scurrying about the house when he reached their bedroom doorway. The panic feeling he had just melted away with the sight he was greeted with. There lay Chris on their bed, one half of his body propped up with pillows so he lay slightly on his left, another fluffy pillow propped under one side of his belly, and their traitorous pets on Darren's half of the bed snuggled up alongside Chris's cushioned back. Of course Cooper and Brian would take their daddy's side in an argument. He could spoil them all he wanted; Chris was still their favorite as usual. Though he had to admit, the visual still brought a smile to his face. His boyfriend was asleep, glasses askew but still on his face, notebook resting open on his swollen belly, and pen sitting between his lax fingers on the bed. Chris has been handwriting most of his stuff lately. Apparently being hunched over a desk to type on his computer has been hell on his back.
Go figure.
He shook his head fondly, making his way over to the bed and sitting down, placing the shopping bag he'd brought with him on the floor. Sitting at the edge of the bed, Darren tilted his head as he gazed at Chris, feeling the overwhelming love he has for him that he'd somehow ignored during their earlier disagreement. Cooper stretched when he sensed someone else in the room, yawning and aggravating Brian when the dog interrupted his nap. Brian meowed his irritation and squirmed away from Cooper, leaping off the bed to leave the room but not before he gave Darren the stink eye. It's a thing that cats can totally do, or a thing that Brian has somehow mastered, at least in Darren's mind. Cooper on the other hand, popped his head up over Chris's back, tongue lolling out and tail wagging happily.
Any other time, the sleeping man would have probably woken up with the commotion, but the exhaustion of being heavily with child has thankfully made him sleep like the dead. Good thing too. During Chris's first trimester his sleepwalking had started up again and was a serious problem. Darren became so anxious about it every night that he was actually grateful when Chris's body became so exhausted he couldn't even unconsciously do that anymore. Though now he could probably sleep through a stampede. Not that Darren minded. There was a plus side to the man's heavy sleeping state.
"Hey there, baby. How ya holding up in here?"
He got one-on-one time with his unborn kid.
Darren placed a hand on Chris's tummy, rubbing at the softness of the sleep worn shirt that was covering his boyfriend's pregnant belly. He bent down and kissed the spot where his child was, pressing his forehead against Chris's tummy and closed his eyes because he couldn't wait for the moment when he could actually hold this precious baby in his arms. "You know Papa loves you, right? Papa loves you so much," he whispered. "Have I not told you that enough? Papa's very sorry about that."
Picking his head up and righting himself, Darren continued to stroke Chris's tummy as he smiled a little more sadly to himself. He glanced up at the still sleeping figure and proceeded to make him more comfortable. Darren picked up the open notebook lying across Chris's stomach and closed it before placing it on the nightstand. He snatched up the forgotten pen and plucked off his crooked glasses to place them on the stand as well. Then Darren took the moment to just look at Chris, taking in his softened features that were no longer obscured by his glasses or earlier anger. Even in his sleep he was gorgeous, and maybe that's another thing Darren hasn't been saying enough of. Lately it seems like there's a lot he hasn't been saying enough of. "Your Daddy loves you too, baby. Though I'm sure he gets the chance to tell ya that more than I do." Darren reached out and ran his fingers through Chris's hair, loving how the silky strands caressed his fingers. God, he's missed him.
Cooper barked, almost pointedly at Darren, reminding him of the animal's presence. He huffed out a laugh, ruffling the dog's head with another hand. "Don't scare the baby, goofball. Just because Chris can't hear you don't mean the baby can't." The attention excited Cooper, causing him to pant happily and bark louder. "Okay, okay. Cooper loves you too, baby. We're all eager to meet you. Satisfied?" Darren raised an eyebrow at Cooper, the dog sniffing at Chris's stomach before he woofed and squirmed because now he was riled up. He probably wanted to play.
His excited wriggles began to jostle Chris a bit, and yeah, no. The least Darren could do is make sure he and the baby had a comfy nap after what happened earlier. Darren shushed Cooper, who in turn just loved the attention and looked like he was about to jump over his owner to get to him. He couldn't have that. Thinking fast, Darren quickly grabbed a toy off the floor and tossed it towards the hallway. "Go get it, boy!"
Cooper didn't need to be told twice. He scrambled off the bed and chased after the object that now had his attention. Only too late did Darren realize that toy had been one of Brian's. As if he wasn't already on that cat's bad side. "Fuck," Darren laughed softly. "Will I ever get off of Brian's shit list?" He looked back over at Chris while rubbing at his tummy, "Does anyone in this house even like me anymore?"
A soft push under his hand startled Darren, the musician breaking out into a beaming smile when he felt that subtly elusive kick. He knew the baby's kicks could be felt for a while, but Darren's schedule had unfortunately had him experiencing these kicks in instances that were too few and far between. Darren bent down and rubbed his forehead against the spot where his baby kicked again, "Aww was that your way of saying you like me?" He kissed the stomach and turned his head, pretending he could hear the child's heartbeat.
Darren rubbed circles with his fingers on top of the bump, sighing contently as he continued to listen and watched Chris's chest steadily rise and fall with his breathing. "Hey! I nearly forgot. I got something for you, kiddo." He leaned over the side of the bed and rifled through the shopping bag, pulling out a small onesie that had big printed letters across it. Darren laid it out over Chris's tummy, as if measuring if it was going to fit his kid already. "Looks good on you. Your Papa has good taste." Also because he was a goof, he gently fist-bumped Chris's belly. "I can not wait to teach you to do that. You're gonna be the coolest toddler in the sandbox. Ain't no doubt about that."
He slid off the bed and kneeled on the floor, staring fondly at the onesie covered tummy while he lovingly traced each printed letter. Spelling out the phrase, 'LOVE MADE ME.' "I'm going to teach you how to play the guitar—or piano, violin, whichever one calls to you—and I'm gonna teach you how to speak Italian, and introduce you to awesome music, and I know Daddy said I can't read Harry Potter to you every night, but I promise I'll always be there to say good…night." Darren furrowed his eyebrows, thinking of the fight he had earlier with Chris. "Or at least I'll try?"
No, that's-that's not good enough.
"I mean I will. I know I will."
Promises, empty promises.
That's all that Chris accused Darren of having. It wasn't true. "I know it may seem like your Daddy was right earlier, that your Papa just isn't around as much as he says he will be. But your Daddy just wouldn't let me explain. I want to be here for Daddy, I really do. It's just…I have to work really hard right now. Your Daddy just doesn't understand that I'm doing so much right now because I don't want to miss a thing when you're actually here. My projects are just really important to me—"
Thumping his head down on the mattress, Darren let out muffled frustrated noise into the sheets. Everything he said he was going to do, everything he hasn't done, and everything he's missed. Is this what Chris must think? He looked up and ran a tired hand through his curls, hating the words that had just come out of his mouth. "I didn't mean that. Papa would never mean that." Maybe it hadn't been Chris who was creating a problem. Perhaps Darren just refused to acknowledge that a problem was already there, especially considering that problem was himself.
"You are what's important to me. You and your Daddy." Darren reached out and put a hand on the baby bump, adamant about his next words. "Nothing will ever be more important in my life than you two. I love you both so much." He rubbed the belly affectionately under his palm. "And even though sometimes you may hear us fight, and despite how angry we may seem with each other, it will never mean that I don't love your Daddy. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and he is about to do something that I never thought was possible. Which just makes me love him all the more, ya know?"
His hazel eyes began to get a little misty, "Your Daddy is so special, so amazing…and he loves you so much. I don't think you'll ever understand how much." Darren glanced over to the bag he'd retrieved the onesie from before, "I just hope that after all this is done, and when you're finally here, that he still loves me as much too." Reaching over and sifting through it one more time, he unboxed something much smaller than the baby clothing. "I wish it was easier to say these things to your daddy. It's harder to talk to him, not like how it is with you baby. Then again, you're a better listener than either one of us," he chuckled to himself.
Bringing the item close to the baby bump, he continued, "But just you wait. One day I'm finally gonna sack up. Because I'm gonna sit your daddy down and make him listen to me for once. And you're going to be right by my side when I tell him how much I love him, how nothing is more important to me than either one of you, and that even though all he wants is a ring, I am ready to give him so much more than that." The small velvet box in Darren's hand opened with a flick of his thumb. "Because your Papa's ready to ask your daddy to marry him with this ri—"
There was a sharp intake of breath.
And shit, that was definitely not the baby.
Darren was frozen in place, body rigid and eyes fixated on the spot in front of him that was thankfully not in the direction of Chris's face at the moment. Silence was probably not the best way to handle the situation, but Darren was pretty sure he's probably said more than enough. "Should I even ask how much you heard or…?" Apparently his mouth doesn't like to listen when his brain tells him to shut up. But what else is new? "Y-You were awake this entire time, weren't you?" It was more a deduction than a question.
"Would it change anything for you if I hadn't been?" Chris asked softly.
"Not really…" He confessed, "but it certainly would've prevented this awkward situation." When Darren finally chanced a glance over at Chris, he wasn't surprised to find wide blue eyes staring at him. "Please tell me this is the only time you've overheard me talking to the baby."
"Why? Because it's so hard to talk to me? You need me to be asleep to be able to say any of this?"
"I'm gonna take that as a no."
"Darren," Chris stressed his name, "are you trying to go back to fighting?"
He furrowed his eyebrows together, "No, I'd like to go back to the proposal. You seem to be the one who wants to go back to fighting."
Instead of snapping back at him like Darren has become accustom to expecting, Chris got a scared look on his face, horrified even. He didn't understand it. "I thought we decided putting the baby first was more important than putting us first?"
What?
"I don't see how asking you to marry me is putting us before the baby."
Chris shook his head, "You promised me that we weren't going to try and complicate what we are while I was pregnant."
"How does this complicate things? I think this tells you exactly where I want us to be!"
"But what about what I want!" Chris shouted back, frustrated tears forming in his blue eyes.
Darren fixed his gaze on Chris, watching him trying to hold what he was sure would be sniffles if this continued. He got up off the floor and took his seat back on the bed, sitting beside Chris and holding the box with the ring in front of him. "Well, now's your chance."
He got that wide panicked look again, "what're you doing?"
"Christopher Paul Colfer…"
"God no."
"Will you—"
"STOP!" Chris lurched forward and quickly covered Darren's mouth with his hands. However, because of his obvious roundness, that position didn't last very long and Chris started rolling back into the pillows without his consent. He nearly flailed, panicking for a second before he felt Darren's hand cupping his shoulder, steadying him before cautiously placing him back on the pillows. The whole event causing Chris's breath to quicken, trying to gasp for air and turn pink with exertion/embarrassment.
"Are you okay?"
"Do I look okay?!"
Darren frowned when Chris's breathing wouldn't even out, "I'm gonna call the doctor."
Before he could get up, Chris snapped at him. "Don't you—Don't you dare!"
"But Chris, you can barely breathe."
"Stop…changing…the subject." Chris panted, trying to glare at Darren and concentrate on even breaths as he did. "Because then you—you'll never know…what I want."
And he did. Darren really did want to know what Chris wanted. He nodded, was halfway through beginning to say so when his phone began to ring. It was earsplitting, an obnoxious phone default ringtone that Darren never personalized to signal that it was work. Their moment, the serious moment were they were finally going to figure out 'what they were' was shattered by that incessant ringing. Darren was sure that wasn't the time to reach for his phone, certain that any acknowledgement of that device would seal a doomed fate. Though, if the fed up expression on Chris's face was anything to go by, he was already deemed guilty. "Chris, I…"
Chris hated that ringtone. That damn noise that always trumped anything that Chris and Darren happened to have going on. A last minute appearance, or an impromptu performance, always something that was more important. "Give it," he said softly.
"What?"
"I said…give it." He held out his hand, waiting to see if Darren actually would.
The musician was frozen for a second; hesitant about what Chris would do once he had the phone. Destruction, the paranoid part of him said. Then again, it was a simple request. He had nothing to hide, so it shouldn't be this hard. Darren reached behind himself and took his phone out of his back pocket, putting it in Chris's hands. He was hoping Chris would see it as a sign of good faith.
Once the phone was in his hands, it stopped ringing. Chris pursed his lips and felt around the smooth edges, hating how whoever was on the other line always seemed to hold Darren's attention more than he could these days. "What I want…is you." Darren looked as if he was about to grin, but he continued before the other could. "Because I don't have you right now."
"Yes, you—"
"No…" Chris sighed, "if you think about it…I really don't." He shifted in his seat, wincing when his movement caused discomfort. "I have a piece. I have…" The phone starts to ring again. "…whatever this thing allows me to have." Chris holds out Darren's phone. "Which is fine right now…since it's just me." When Darren holds his hand out for the phone, Chris drops it in his palm. "But what happens when it's not just me. What happens…when it's me and the baby. Is it even going to ours? Or is it just going to be mine?"
Chris was on his way to having tears in his eyes again, but it was those words that finally broke Darren. "This is our baby. It is always going to be our baby."
The phone stopped ringing again. "Is it really? H-How can it be if you're never here for him, or for her?"
Darren gaped, trying to find the right words to express how wrong Chris was. This wasn't how he was going to be, this wasn't how they were going to be…this wasn't going to be their lives. But when Darren furrowed his brow and looked down at his phone, Chris took that as all he answer he needed.
"Go on then." Chris encouraged, "call them back. It was probably the next big thing for you, right? More important than anything that could ever be offered to you here…" He trialed off, putting in the extra effort to turn on his side, and face away from Darren. Chris curled up and tried to hide his labored breaths, wanting to just wallow by himself in their bed.
A few long seconds passed without any movement, not even a sound from Darren. Then Chris heard the screen of his boyfriend's iPhone unlock and he went rigid, still surprised by the choice even as Darren was making right next to him. Suddenly his vision was swimming, tears quickly brimming and making his vision blurry. He shut them and rubbed his face harder into the pillow, gripping it and refusing to make a pained peep.
There were a few muted taps and a second later murmurs were flying a mile a minute from the other side of the cellphone. Chris was working so hard to block them out when he heard, "Ricky…RICKY. RI-CKY. I said—I said I'm on paternity leave. PATERNITY LEAVE. Starting today dammit!"
Suddenly Chris was paying very close attention, he even did his version of whipping around as fast as his swollen belly allowed him to. He scrambled until he was laying on his other side, facing Darren and fixing him with a wide, disbelieving, almost desperate gaze. Darren half-smiled at him, slow and sweet. He reached out and ran his hand through Chris's tousled hair, stopping to cup his face and wipe away an escaped tear with his thumb.
"I don't care if paternity leave is not a thing."
Pause.
"What does it matter if the baby isn't here yet, do you know how much work still needs to be done before that happens?"
Pause.
"You've been saying 'one more appearance' for the last three events now."
Pause.
"Ricky, you're acting like I'm asking for permission."
Pause.
"To be honest this is just a courtesy call and…no, no I do not know how long I'm going to take…or when you can start booking me appearances again!"
Half-Pause.
"Ri—Ricky, I'm—I'm hanging up now. Bye. BYE. NO! BYE!"
He ended the phone call and turned off his phone for good measure. Darren stuffed the phone in his pocket and let out the most relieved yet exasperated sound Chris had ever heard. "Ricky's going to hate now me more than ever because of that, isn't he?"
Darren jerked his head to look at Chris, then immediately started shaking his head. "No, never." The musician leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Chris's, closing his eyes and softly rubbing their noses together. "I won't let him."
Chris sniffled, "Did you really just do that? Can you even take…paternity leave?"
"Doesn't matter," Darren said simply. "I can and I am." He pecked Chris's lips, then moved to lie down beside, pressed up against him so he could still nuzzle and stroke his tired face.
"You're gonna stay?" Chris's voice cracked, the hormones raging inside making him emotional all over again. "Even after the baby's born?"
"Yes," he said, "even after the baby's born." Moving his hand down to rub Chris's belly, Darren frowned and then looked down at the rumpled onesie bunched up on his stomach. Darren then smoothed out the onesie so it was stretched out across Chris's pregnant belly again, smiling as he began to lovingly rub the baby bump. "and every moment after that."
Chris's lower lip trembled, "don't promise an impossible thing."
"It's not impossible. Nothing's impossible with us." The musician laughed softly and lightly prodded Chris's belly. "Obviously."
Despite himself, Chris did chuckle, even if it was a bit watery. "Guess anything's possible when you're in love with a goofball."
"Hey!" Darren tried to sound indignant, even attempted to pout, but he just couldn't stop smiling, not when he realized what Chris had said. "You said you love me."
The corners of his eyes crinkled as Chris smiled, ducking his head and blushing for the first time in Darren couldn't even remember how long. "I did. You know I do."
"Yeah, but I like when you say it." He leant forward, kissing him slow and sweet, moving their lips against each other until Chris was nearly breathless.
He had to pull back for a second, if only to keep from getting blissfully lightheaded. "Guess you're not the only one who hasn't been saying some things enough."
Darren pressed another kiss to his lips, faster but with a bit more pressure. "I'm willing to work on it if you are."
"Mhmm…" Chris was barely able to murmur out, preoccupied with Darren pressing their lips together again. "Please can we make up now?" He managed to get out breathlessly, feeling the other starting to leave kisses along his jaw.
"God yes." Darren breathed out, capturing Chris's mouth again, turning their sweet kisses into desperate more passionate ones.
It was all the encouragement Chris needed, and proceeded in allowing Darren to pry his lips further apart. They got reacquainted with one another with hot open-mouthed kisses, grabbing and pulling at each other to get closer as they shared the air between them. Chris whined, wanted to press closer and delve deeper but the baby bump between them made it nearly impossible for him to satisfy his touch-starved body. He shifted and wound his arms around Darren's neck when he felt the other nip his bottom lip. The boy shivered, whimpering desperately as he still wanted to more.
Darren moaned at how eager Chris was, moving the hand that had been previously cradling the baby bump to the other's lower back. He pressed down on the delicate dip below the arch of his back, trying to bring Chris even closer to him like he sensed how the other wanted, but the sharp cry his pregnant boyfriend emitted had him releasing immediately. "Oh shit! Chris…Chris, did I hurt you?"
Chris was reaching behind himself and holding onto where Darren had previously touched him, his face scrunched up in pain and body rigid. "No, it wasn't—it wasn't you…ah." He tried not to squirm on the bed, uncomfortable in this position but too scared to move and cause himself more pain.
"What do you mean? What's wrong?" Darren got up on his knees, hands hovering over Chris as he waited on instructions to make him stop hurting. "Chris, please. Tell me how to help."
"Dare, it's nothing. Ba—Back pain is normal." He tried reaching for the pillows that were propped behind him, wanting to arrange them differently. But Darren was already there, pushing them under him and helping to rearrange his position. "Just…just help me lie—lie on my back. Prop…prop me up…here." Chris was out of breath again, but this time not because of pleasure. "Why do you think…you found me laying down…in the first place…goofball?"
Darren was shuffling Chris to lie on his back in the middle of the bed, lower back padded and legs elevated with pillows. "And what? You just randomly get sparks of pain? That doesn't sound normal." Chris didn't say anything at first, but instead just let Darren fuss over him. The musician knew better than to ever take his boyfriend's silence at face value. Knew that was never a good sign. "Chris…" He pushed, was able to see the younger male's ears redden as he inaudibly mumbled out an answer. "What was that?"
He huffed, looking over at Darren in defeat, "it's just been recently. It's really noth—"
"And the short of breath?"
Chris sighed, "That's been going on for weeks now. It's really not that big deal. I've been getting used to it."
The musician pursed his lips, gently moving to sit back down next to his propped up boyfriend. He's just screwed up so damn much these past few months, hasn't he? "I'm really sorry you've had to do this all on your own for so long, Chris."
"Dare—"
"No, Chris. I said I'm going to do better. And I am. I swear to you." He stressed.
Chris smiled softly; reaching a hand out so Darren could grasp it. "I know you will. I believe you."
"It's not just an empty promise though. I really mean it."
"Darren. I know, okay?"
"Y-You do?"
He was still smiling, eyes crinkling and lips curving. "Of course…I trust you."
Darren's eyebrows shot up, his whole self in wonder at the marvelous person in front of him. "I'd do anything for you." He put his free hand on Chris's belly, tenderly stroking it as he held on to Chris's hand in the other. "Both of you."
"Never doubted it for a second."
"Oh really?" He scoffed.
Chris giggled, "Well maybe a little."
It was impossible for Darren not to laugh along with him, even if it was at his own expense. Chris's laugh had always been contagious. "And that's my fault. I know that, but I'm here now. And I'm going to make it up to you."
He was still looking amused, more relaxed than he had been for weeks that's for sure. But then, "Oh…" It came out almost shocked. Chris tilted his head slightly, concentrating on something for a moment, more like contemplating actually.
"What?" Darren quickly asked, "What is it?"
"I…I think I thought of something you could do for me, like…right now."
"You name it." He didn't hesitate. "Just say the word and I'll make it happen."
Chris squeezed Darren's hand a little tighter, making sure their eyes were on each other as he spoke. "I need you to propose to me again."
That…wha…"Huh?"
"And do it quick."
Darren was staring again, gaping really. He couldn't help it. These night and day mood swings were going to give him whiplash.
"Dare, please." Chris pleaded.
"I—why?"
"Because…I don't want us to bring a baby into this world without us both being exactly where we want to be with each other." The younger nodded to himself, surer in his words now that he's said them out loud. "I think we owe our kid that much."
"Chris…" Darren breathed his name reverently, overwhelming emotion and awe shining in his bright hazel eyes. Yes, yes they absolutely did owe their kid that. He couldn't agree more.
"I can't help but think you were right. It's not complicated. It's just us." He said easily, shrugging his shoulders and looking up at Darren like it was the most obvious, simplest answer in the world. And well, maybe it was. After all, as long as they finally had each other, nothing else could ever really be that hard.
Right?
"Oh and my water just broke."
Fin.
A/N: This is my present to all you lovelies for being patient and sticking with me during my time of absence. Hopefully I'll be back soon! Till next time! Review?
FYI if this story gets taken down, follow the link in my bio to my AO3 account where this is also posted. ^-^