Where Do Alt's Go

The kettle boils and clicks off. I walk in to the kitchen to make the coffee. In the living room I can hear the commercials start up as the chat show finishes. They are advertising more things I'm never going to buy or barely have any interest in. I finish off making myself a coffee and glance out at the sky. It's a cloudy day. Autumn is settling in and it's certainly not a day to be going out. Not that I go out a great deal these days. I have little reason to so I just stay in and watch daytime TV. People say there's nothing on TV and they're more or less correct, but it works for me, helping the time pass and stopping me from getting too bored.

According to the news young people spend a lot of time on the internet these days, but it's never been my thing. I'm not sure what to look at on there anyway, so it's best if I leave it to the young.

I woke up last night from a dream. It's more or less the same dream I always have. Me flying out over the city watching as the people pass below me. It's such wonderful thing to remember the feeling of flying. I never dream of falling like some people claim to. Flying is so much more. The ability to soar with the birds and get close to the clouds. Few other things come close to that feeling.

I think I was flying with others in the dream last night. As they always do the memory of the dream has seeped away as the day has crept in to my mind. All I remember is it was another one of those dreams where I don't really understand things. Escapism mixed up with old memories. None of it makes any real sense. I was just left feeling how great it was to be out there with other people again.

These days I find myself living more for my dreams than my day to day life. I sometimes wish the dreams I have were more real. I wish they were the life I now lead. I've thought about taking some sleeping pills so I can stop the dreams – I've heard that's what pills do, help you sleep without dreaming. It would avoid the longing, but what would it leave me with. There is both a monotony and a simple rhythm to each day in the apartment. No matter how I grumble I enjoy watching the chat shows, and I have plenty of books to read as well as the day to day chores that need doing. The chat shows are full of people who are too caught up in their own lives, but it's entertainment for me and gives me something laugh at.

As I glance out the kitchen window I can see some people outside, down on the street. It's something else I do as a pastime. I can look out of the window and watch the people passing by.

Some days I see an old lady who lives in the next apartment block as she goes out each day to do her shopping or meet with friends. I think she found a stray the other day as I saw her carrying something back cradled in her arms. It's nice to know there are good people out there looking after the world.

Last week I think I saw some robbers. Two men came running out of a store. The police came too late to do anything. It made my hands itch to watch them. I wanted to go out there and stop the robbers. I wanted to be the one who prevented them from getting away. I even thought about leaping out of the window and flying after them like I do in one of those dreams. I didn't do anything though. I'm not sure why, but I never do.

I used to be a hero when I was younger. I used to go out there in the old days and stop the robberies. That's where the dreams of flying come from. I wonder sometimes why I stopped, but I don't really know why. I don't have a good reason, or none that I can think of.

There used to be something that made me want to get out there at night and fight crime. I seem to have lost that urge, that drive. It sometimes feels like the thing that was pushing me before has left. I wish I knew the reason why I have stopped being motivated. I don't remember when it happened, it just did.

I suppose it was just one of those things that I decided I didn't want to do any more. Maybe I had just seen too much bad stuff happening. This city is crowded with it. It always reminds of the talk about cars and roads. The more cars you have in a city the more roads you build and the more roads you build the more cars you have. One leads to the other. I wonder if this is the same with villains. When there weren't that many heroes there weren't that many villains. Now there are heroes everywhere and maybe that's what draws the villains. More people turn to the villain groups because they see the heroes stopping the normal crime and think that super powered crime is the only way to go.

I can hear the commercials coming to an end and another chat show starting on the TV. I think I'll go back in to the living room to watch it. Nothing out there needs me today. Maybe tomorrow I'll put on my cape and fight some crime. Maybe tomorrow.