The Trails of Denmark

It was a cold brisk day in the land of Denmark. We, the Norsemen who travel far and wide, consider this our home. One day, we encountered this strange wizard that fell from the sky. He was asking what world he was in and why we were staring. We told him to tell us about his world and we considered attacking him, but we realized he was more of asset to us. He told us his name was Robert Niles and he was from the future. We took him in because Odin, the sky-father, told us to. He told me in a dream this would happen and I unfortunately didn't believe him. I am a fool for challenging his claims.

Chapter 1 - Meet the Crew / Denmark / Approx 8:50 A.M 575 A.D. / Perspective - Robert Niles

I was getting cold and these 'Norsemen' told me to follow them to their village. Considering the fact that my heritage is linked to the Norse, I felt quite comfortable around them. We headed to what they called the mead hall. At first I thought they said 'meat hall', but I was surely mistaken. The mead hall was a place of merriment and honor. As we entered, I was completely awestruck by the beautiful architecture of the hall. It had mahogany flooring, tables, and of course a huge mahogany throne room. It was a huge mead hall with at least forty tables and a heck of a lot of beer. I was definitely in awe by how the throne looked. It seemed as it was polished and cleaned every hour, however; it may just be the wood that was used due to its shiny texture.

I was sent up towards their king. He had a crown that had many interesting symbols on it. One looked like a mighty dragon that was shooting flames out of its mouth at a warrior. The pattern was duplicated around his crown. He was around 5'9 and judging by his beer gut, around two hundred to two hundred and fifty pounds. I approached the king and kneeled toward his direction. He responded with a hearty laugh and said,

"Hero rise. You don't need to kneel to me. I should be kneeling to you!"

That hit me like a train. I'm a hero? No you're not idiot. He's fibbing with you. Shut up brain I don't need your life story at the moment.

I responded in a friendly tone, "I'm not a hero though. I am just a man from the future who somehow hit your time warp instead of the one that was to return me home."

"Nonsense! A man doesn't just fall out of the sky. Odin, our sky-father told us that a man of great strength and agility would fall from the sky right when dawn hit!" I chuckled at the thought of their 'gods' but I suppressed that thought when he gave me the 'what's so funny' stare.

"Well... In my time period, there is no such thing as 'gods', instead; there is only one God and he gives us the motivation to live life and take the world by storm.." The King was absolutely astounded at my sentence. I thought they didn't know what I was saying at first, but apparently I shouldn't judge the book by its cover. You should listen to your parents more... I wanted to punch my own brain right now.

"Is there anything I could do to help around here? I feel that you need me to do something dangerous." I finished my thought to make this situation seem less awkward.

"Well you can start by getting to know thy men who will accompany you on your quest." What quest?! I didn't sign up to the Galactic Time Warp Army for this reason...

"Well that seems like a good idea -" I was going to finish my thought when one of the Norseman tackled me to the ground. I was definitely not expecting that to happen. Fortunately, I was stronger than most of these men even though I am a lot smaller than they are. The Norseman then exclaims,

"My name is Fargor! I am the strategist of your crew! Don't forget it!" That man is going to be such a pain... I replied, "Nice to meet you Fargor."

"I'm Balthar, I possess the best battle axe in the world! I call him 'Dynasty'. Want to see him?" Well he's a lot less...wait what? I responded, "I guess...why did you name 'him' dynasty?"

"Well since you are the great hero that fell from the sky, I shall tell you. I was out on the quest to find the gem that was able to give anyone the strength of fifty giants. It was hidden in the caves of that mountain." He points over to the mountain with a black top to it. I couldn't understand why the top of it was black like a volcano, but I'll wait to ask him on that. He continues, "The mountain's caves were so large, it felt like it was the labyrinth that those crazy Christians said in their so called 'books'-"

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" Balthar shrunk back. "Those books aren't Christian principles, they're Greek myths. If you didn't know, your beliefs are very similar to their beliefs. They have more gods than you do, however; the gods aren't heroes like your gods are." Why in the hell did you tell them that? Because I can brain now shut up before I decide to press the off button on your own 'settings'. Yeah whatever. Look I'm just your brain. Why the hell would you shut me off? If you did, you would be dead wouldn't you be?No, I gave you separate settings because the fact you are a annoying... Why am I having a conversation with myself? Man I am such a loner.

While this whole ordeal was going on, the rest of the crew was just gazing at me because of my absolute poker face. I don't know why I had a poker face going, but this made them laugh so hard. Fargor was laughing so hard, that he fell right into the mead container. Dude you should totally join in on that. Brain, I sometimes wonder what your sexuality is... Oh I was...uh..damn you got me. Well I'm going to go get the replacement brain on the back shelf... What the crap- that's all I could say before I slipped into unconsciousness...