Spicy Sensei

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Summary: Sasuke's usual calm demeanor begins to crumble when his smokin' hot teacher refuses to notice him.
The popular boy will soon learn that not all things in life are easy...

AU, Obviously. Main pairing I'm focused on is Sasu x Kushina, so don't be convinced otherwise by the beginning.

Naruto was busy destroying noobs via the online game currently displayed on his laptop when a pleasant aroma wafted through the air. He withdrew his attention from his computer screen, getting a quick view of his mother as she passed his open bedroom door. He blinked once and placed the computer onto his bed, curiously stepping out of the room in order to follow the source of the smell. It led him down the hall, where the red-headed woman was busy applying an equally red shade of lipstick onto her pouty lips. She focused her attention solely on the task, Naruto's presence seemingly going unnoticed. He leaned against the door frame and watched, quickly noticing the elegant evening gown she was wearing. It was dark blue and strapless as it hugged her curves and hung down to her ankles. The slight v cut gave hint to her average sized bosom while the waist adorned a thin silver belt that helped accentuated her natural curves. The small silver chain with a heart shaped pendant was just low enough to settle about an inch from her cleavage, and a thin singular bracelet wrapped around her delicate wrist. The only reason Naruto could notice all this, though was because of his mother's hair. It typically hung flat down her back, concealing the view of her body from behind. But tonight it was tied into a loose ponytail that formed into soft ringlets near the ends and came up to her middle back. A few wavy strands framed the edges of her face, coming down past her ears and creating a surprisingly elegant look.

Kushina caught her son's eye in the mirror and puckered her lips a few times before smirking and stuffing her beauty items back in her purse.

"What do you think?" she asked him, turning toward the teen so that he could get a full view.

"You look-" 'Beautiful? Nah, that's something Dad would say. Sexy?...too much. Hot? No…' "-really nice." Naruto finally decided, his cheeks slightly flushed. "Where are you going?"

His mother never bothered to dress this fancy unless she was meeting up with a prospective client or had dinner plans with his father. Judging from the fact that Minato was not back from work yet and she was wearing her 'special perfume', Naruto figured it was the latter.

Kushina smiled despite herself, quite pleased with her son's approval. "Dinner plans," she replied. She studied his outfit as well, her eyes instantly zero-ing in on the mustard stain he knew adorned the front of his t-shirt and narrowing disapprovingly at it. "And you are most certainly not leaving this house wearing that."

"What? I have to go, too?" the blond asked incredulously. He was not entirely surprised that he hadn't been forewarned (his mother had a tendency to drop plans on him at the last second), but that didn't mean he didn't have a life of his own! We just had to have dinner plans tonight of all nights! He was so close to getting a 99 in all of his combat skills, literally 2 hours' worth of experience away! He was totally prepared to finally beat that bastard Sasuke and officially win their longstanding bet, but no. They had dinner plans. He pouted when his mother gave him a look that easily translated to 'No backtalk. Get dressed or you're grounded for a month'. She tended to be very expressive, a trait in which he'd inherited, so it was quite easy for him to know when his mother wasn't in the mood to deal with his 'teenage bullshit', as she once put it. "Fine, fine," he grumbled, and went back in his room to pull on a black t-shirt with a bright orange spiral across the front and a pair of faded straight legged jeans – his only pair that wasn't wrinkly or dirty – before adding a squirt or two of his favorite cologne and sweeping a hand through his messy blond locks. A quick nod at himself in the mirror showed his appearance to be satisfactory enough.

He entered the living room just as the front door opened to reveal a slightly breathless Minato, clad in a sharp black business suit and looking just as stylish as his mother. The blond wondered for a moment if he was a little underdressed, but the thought was quickly forgotten when his father smirked at him and winked, "Nice shirt. Ready to go?"

At that moment Kushina stepped into the room as well, and Minato's attention was immediately drawn to her. His smirk quickly transformed into a smile as he took in the image of the stunning woman before him with very clear adoration in his eyes. "Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?" he questioned rhetorically, garnering a blush from Kushina even though Naruto was sure he repeated that phrase at least once a day. Che, I knew it. She strode up to him and planted a soft kiss on his lips, encircling her arms around his neck. "Did I ever tell you how handsome you are?" she flirted back. Minato seemed pleased because he wrapped his arms around her slim waist and kissed her softly. It quickly grew deep. Naruto made a disgusted noise and rolled his eyes at their PDA.

"Geez, get a room," he muttered, brushing past them to exit out of the house. They acted like lovesick teens far more often than he cared to witness. After sixteen years of being subjected to it you'd think he'd gotten used to it. Unfortunately, it was almost the opposite. Lately Naruto had been getting quite annoyed with their showy and very blatant affection toward one another. Minato had chalked it up to raging hormones, Kushina had offered a laugh and insisted he would get over it one day 'once he met his special someone'. Naruto had ignored them and slammed his bedroom door in their amused faces. He didn't want to openly deny their claims; no matter how wrong he knew them to be, because it wasn't as if he could tell them the truth. No, he could never mention the real reason why he felt so sour every time he watched them kiss, or heard them through the walls, or even why he hadn't had a girlfriend up until this point in his life.

For now, he would just sulk quietly to himself, pray it was just a phase, and try his hardest not to stare at his mother's sweet ass as they followed their waitress to their designated table.

Once he'd managed to pull his eyes away from the forbidden fruit, they had instantly connected with a very familiar pair of soulless black ones. What the-? Sasuke? Naruto was baffled to see the Uchihas were already seated where the brunette woman had guided them. Why hadn't his mother just mentioned that they were having dinner with his oldest friend's family? Any of Naruto's former reluctance quickly vanished as he smiled broadly at his best friend, lifting a hand in greeting. The dark-haired teen just stared back at him, his expression unreadable. Naruto raised a single eyebrow when Sasuke's blank gaze prolonged. What? In response, Sasuke smirked suddenly. Knowingly. Naruto's eyes widened unconsciously, his heart skipping a beat. Fuck. That wasn't good. He must have seen, the blond concluded. He took a shaky breath, opening his mouth to explain when Sasuke smoothly interrupted, "Looks like you won't be completing our bet tonight after all, dobe."

The blond stared quizzically back at him for a moment before realization struck. He immediately calmed down and smirked back at the bastard. "So?" he pointed out. "Not like you will, either." And as long as you're here, you can't cheat and magically get ahead of me. Sasuke didn't acknowledge he'd heard the blond; instead he stood and bowed in greeting to Naruto's father. "Good evening, Minato-san." Sasuke gave a curt nod toward Kushina's direction, as well, not really looking at her as he added. "Sensei." Naruto could feel more than see the annoyance radiating off his mother at his friend's blatant disregard, but she quickly brushed it off and smiled tersely back at the arrogant teen. "Good evening to you as well, Sasuke." Naruto figured his friend apparently had difficulty detecting sarcasm (either that, or he wasn't paying much attention) since he seemed to grunt in response to the statement as he would have to any real greeting before turning abruptly toward his brother to start a rather hushed conversation. As Naruto's parents greeted his friend's (the women hugging and complimenting each other's appearances while the men shook hands and swiftly looked down at their menus), the blond decided to occupy his time by attempting to eavesdrop on the Uchiha brother's whispered words.

Once the waitress was done filling out everyone's orders she reiterated by repeating what she'd written and asked, "Is that it?"

With a collective nod she was off, allowing them a moment of silence as the group took in one another's appearances. They were seated at a bench table at the corner of the popular Vietnamese restaurant, the teen's sharing one side while the adults sat at the adjacent bench, save for Sasuke's mother (who chose to sit beside the boy's in their row) and Fugaku (who chose a chair instead of a bench so that he was directly across from Minato during their brief discussions). The women, Namikaze Kushina and Uchiha Mikoto, sat closest to one another. Their outfits were strikingly similar, with the color of their dresses and even the hairstyles being exactly identical, leaving no doubt in anyone's mind that they had coordinated ahead of time. Although, while Kushina's makeup was dark and added a sultry touch to her appearance, Mikoto had kept hers rather light, making her appear slightly more playful (but no less intimidating), than the red-headed woman. Sitting next to each woman was Itachi to Mikoto's left and Minato to Kushina's right. Itachi had worn a sleek, black formfitting button-down top and equally dark slacks that accentuated his lean but toned build. Sasuke wore pretty much the same outfit, Naruto noted, except a few of the younger Uchiha's buttons were haphazardly unbuttoned, exposing the pale flesh of his well-defined (Sasuke had really been hitting the gym this year) chest underneath the smooth-looking material. Sasuke also had a tendency to over gel; since the blond could practically see his reflection in the teen's strands they were so shiny. But it suited him, Naruto had to begrudgingly admit. Otherwise, the girls at school wouldn't bother stating as much.

"So, how have you boys been doing in school?" Minato asked, as if reading Naruto's thoughts. He directed the question more toward his son (was that a hint of suspicion in his gaze?) than the dark-haired brothers and Naruto held back a gulp because he was more than happy to keep his mouth shut for once. "Naruto doesn't mention much, believe it or not."

"Yes, do tell," Fugaku added, leaving absolutely no room for argument. Everyone was aware of the man's not-so-secret ability to make people 'disappear'. It was his profession, actually. Which meant anyone who made him irate would cease to exist. People tended not to make the man irate very often. "If he had his way, Sasuke would also have a proclivity toward discussing trifling matters over his future."

Sasuke opened his mouth in protest - just to be interrupted by the waitress, who returned at that moment to deliver their drink orders.

"Three waters," Fugaku, Itachi and Mikoto, "Two iced teas," Minato and Kushina, "One Lemonade," Naruto, "and water with a lemon slice served on the side," you guessed it, Sasuke. "Did I get it right?" the petite brunette asked, her grin indicating she was well aware she had gotten their order exact and quite proud of this accomplishment. Sasuke wasn't so impressed. The drinks were the easy part. Their orders – now that would be something.

"You're good," Naruto looked truly awestruck, causing Sasuke's eye to twitch. How could he be friends with such a simple moron? He decided not to dwell on the matter too long and instead turned to acknowledge his father's earlier question. "My grades are perfect, Father," he looked pointedly at Kushina, who glanced up from the table to look directly at the teen as if she had felt his gaze upon her. "Isn't that right, Sensei?"

Kushina's gaze strengthened at the condescending tone in which Sasuke had uttered 'teacher'. It was not quite a frown, nor did she look very happy. She's really practicing her patience tonight, Naruto snickered in thought. Her lips tightened into a thin line before she smoothly replied. "You have a gifted son, Fugaku-san. He does exceptionally well, in not only my class but I've heard of his impeccable record from the other teachers. Although, I must admit," the woman grinned cheekily, looking every bit like her son as she insisted, "he should rely more on the teacher's knowledge instead of being so damn smug all the time!"

Sasuke's expression flattened, his eyes darkening oddly for a second. Or maybe Naruto was imagining things. "Rely on fools?"

"Sasuke!" Mikoto berated sharply. He ignored her, continuing to stare blankly at his red-headed sensei. "That's rich, coming from you; the most foolish of them all."

"Don't talk to-!"

"Hey, now-"

"That's enough," Itachi interrupted both Minato and his son as he grabbed hold of Sasuke's shoulder, staring disapprovingly down at his younger brother. "Apologize." When his brother simply frowned at the women, Itachi applied a pressure to his grip and, in a much more threatening voice, demanded lowly, "Sasuke."

Sasuke scoffed loudly, finally rolling his eyes away as he muttered, "Sorry" in his most unconvincing voice. Itachi decided this was the best response he was going to receive so he spared Sasuke one last glance before he stood from his seat and turned to Kushina, everyone's attention upon him. He bowed lowly and then lifted only his head to look her in the eyes. "I deeply apologize for my brother's rude behavior," then he turned toward Fugaku and said, "We'll be back in a moment, Father." Naruto moved out of the way so that the brothers could exit the bench and then scooted back inside, careful not to sit too close to Mikoto. The silence that followed their departure was so unbelievably stifling that even Fugaku was grateful when the young blond opened his rather large mouth to utter.

"About school…"

"Why, Sasuke?" Itachi demanded once the men's restroom door swung closed behind them. "Is it so difficult for you to pretend to be polite for once?"

"You're taking her side?" Sasuke accused, his eyes narrowing. He crossed his arms over his chest and waited for Itachi to explain himself.

"Don't assume I am unaware of what this is about, Sasuke," Itachi stared at his brother dangerously. "Her side? Kushina-san is trying her best to remain civil with you, yet you're behaving like a child. Her side?" Itachi looked down upon his brother, his disappointment clear. "You know better."

"You don't understand!" Sasuke growled. He felt like ripping his hair out. "I just…can't! Not when she's around!"

On the contrary, Sasuke, I understand quite well what you're going through. "Why?"

"You know why," the teen demanded, his voice eerily low.

"But you don't," Itachi observed, equally quiet.

Sasuke frowned at that. "Yes, I…" then he paused.

"Then, why, Sasuke?"

"Because…!" his brother suddenly shouted, pausing for a second time. Because….what? "Because, I…"

Itachi stared at his younger look-a-like, waiting for the clueless teen to surmise an excuse.

Because I want to shove my di-

"-st(1) through her… skull," he finished almost inaudibly, his eyes wider than normal.

Itachi caught enough to understand what Sasuke had meant to say. He leaned back, admittedly surprised, but even more so by the snap of Sasuke's neck, his unblinking gaze, and the sudden tightening of his jawline, while his cheeks, which were flushed deeper than Itachi had ever seen, were pulled taut by his sharp glare; all clear indications that he hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"Sasuke, you –"

"Shut up."

"But, y-"

"I said, shut up," he hissed.

Itachi watched his younger brother's face slowly revert back to normal before he nodded solemnly and opened the bathroom door to usher their exit. He was sure their food was waiting.

Mikoto relaxed visibly as she saw her two sons emerge from the restroom. Judging by Sasuke's stance, he had calmed down quite a bit. She would have to thank Itachi for that later. For now, she shared a look with her husband and then proceeded to eat from her plate of sushi. Sasuke barely noted the fact that his food had arrived during his absence, instead he glanced sideways to meet the furrowed brow of his blond best friend. Sasuke raised a single eyebrow languidly. "Something wrong?" he asked softly enough to where only Naruto could hear. The blond shook his head slowly, looking away. Sasuke could see Naruto's fists clench tighter in his peripheral vision. The dark-haired teen sighed and figured the adults must have told the idiot to keep his mouth shut for now – since he clearly had something he wanted to say, with or without his fists. Even if Sasuke agreed he deserved what was coming to him, very probably the moment he stepped out of the restaurant, he felt the need to resolve the situation with a more reasonable approach. "Listen, Naruto…" his tone was still only audible to the blond's ears, but the dark-haired teen could feel several gazes upon him. Perhaps other occupants in the restaurant had noticed the commotion and were keeping tabs on him. Or maybe it was just the adults, since they were far too silent as well. "I'm sorry about…what I said." At Naruto's wide eyes he forcefully ground out. "It was uncalled for."

Naruto allowed a silence to settle between them, keeping his gaze on Sasuke the whole time as if he was determining whether the teen was lying. Eventually he smiled, his anger completely dissipated. "Thanks, bastard. I know you didn't mean anything by it. You said so yourself – Mom is the best art teacher – hell, teacher period– that you've ever had. I would know," the blond added with a crooked grin. "So why were you being such a jerk?" he spit out with another random frown. Sasuke swore, Naruto's moods changed quicker than Itachi changed girlfriends. Although, having Kushina for a teacher for almost a year now, he knew full well where the blond had inherited that trait. And just like that, Sasuke couldn't keep from taking a quick glance at the woman in question. She held a cupped palm over her lips as she whispered something into Minato's ear and judging by the slight pink of his ears and nose, it was something highly suggestive. Sasuke turned away quickly, feeling oddly like an intruder looking in on a very intimate affair. He curled his fingers into a fist, his nails digging into his skin.

"Sasuke?" Naruto questioned.

"Sasuke," Itachi spoke as well, an odd tone in his voice.

"Sasuke!" Mikoto whispered loudly.

"What?" he snapped to no one in particular. He happened to look directly at none of the people who had called him, rather directly into very wide blue-gray eyes.

"Your nose!" Kushina gasped/shrieked. Just as Sasuke glanced down to finally register the slight drip of something gooey trail out of his nostril, Minato supplied a gauze pad from out of the secret medical kit locate in the pocket of his jacket (a benefit to being the world's best doctor) and swiftly assisted the dark-haired teen with the mess despite his muffled protests. Sasuke snatched hold of the pad and withdrew it from his face, able to now see the large quantity of red smeared across the front. He felt more trickle and clamped it back to his nose with a stand.

"Whoa, where do you think you're going?" Minato asked cautiously, watching Sasuke not-so-graciously shove his son out of the bench with an amused smile so that the dark-haired teen could leave.

"Outside," was the single word answer.

Fugaku lifted a glass of wine wordlessly to his lips, seemingly oblivious to anything Sasuke did. Itachi figured it was for the best, so he didn't protest when the boy swiftly made his leave. Everyone else either felt they didn't have a say in the matter or was secretly pleased with Sasuke's decision, even if it were a bit too late. No one could deny this dinner had been disastrous. And no one could deny that it was mostly (if not singularly) due to the fault of Uchiha Fugaku and Uchiha Mikoto's absent teen son, Sasuke.

"He's been under a lot of pressure lately…" Mikoto excused lamely.

There was a long pause.

"Dessert?" It was Minato's suggestion.

"'Um stuffed," Naruto declined uncharacteristically, looking far too eager to bolt out of his chair if only he suspected his mother would allow it.

"No, thank you, Minato-san. Although, it is getting to be pretty late," Itachi murmured. Naruto glanced down at his cell phone. It was only 7:20.

"You're right. We really should be going. Don't want Naruto to be late for school tomorrow." The blond's eye twitched. It was a Friday.

"Kids," Mikoto chuckled, draping her scarf around her neck as she smiled at her best friend. "It was nice seeing you tonight, Kushina."

"You, too, Miko-chan," Kushina glanced over at her son, gesturing for him to move. "I'll see you later." Once Naruto bolted, the two women were allowed to hug one another, giggly into the embrace despite their unfortunately awkward meeting. "I'll miss seeing your beautiful face," Kushina sighed as she intentionally brushed noses with the black-haired woman. Mikoto, being the more reserved of the two, just smiled softly and whispered, "I'll bring over that recipe tomorrow I promised you." The men shook hands at the side, quite used to their wives' affectionate behavior. They'd been like that since they were eleven, only a few years after knowing one another.

(1) fist. If you hadn't already guessed, Sasuke didn't want to repeat his thought out loud because even he was shocked.

Random AN:

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I was bored and did a random search yesterday. I couldn't believe how little fics there are in this fandom considering how popular both characters are and their connection with Naruto (not counting mine; literally 3 in total - out of the 300,000 total Naruto fics?) That is approximately 0.0001%. I understand the reason why this might be (Sasu"gay" couldn't handle the Hot Habanero since he lusts after more...slithery creatures, amiright?) Yet, over half of those 300,000 are probably yaoi fics and at least 1/4 of those are Mpreg, so using that logic there are at least 37,500 (let's be real) totally unreasonable, highly illogical and sometimes just plain stupid fics floating around in the Naruto section of fanfic/net pertaining to males magically sprouting babies in their anatomically insufficient torsos (sorry Mpreg lovers) and only 3! Sasu x Kushina romance fics? My mind is officially blown.