Preface

"I'd never thought much about how I'd die, but dying in the place of someone you love seems like a good way to go"

I stared out my window and watched the rain fall from the sky. I was waiting for him to come back to me, hoping he would come back to me.

That night I dreamt of him. His bronze hair and golden eyes, but it was his velvet voice I wanted to hear. The way he spoke like he was from another time. I wished he never had to leave. "It's for the best" he told me. "No!" I cried out "Edward come back, don't leave me".

Charlie came into my room and hugged me. "It's ok" he whispered. "Why did he have to leave me" I sobbed.

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I watched as his silver Volvo pulled into the driveway. "Bella" he said. I didn't have to look to know who it was; this was a voice I would know anywhere—know, and respond to, whether I was awake or asleep… or even dead, I'd bet. The voice I'd walk through fire for—or, less dramatically, slosh every day through the cold and endless rain for.

Edward.

I ran downstairs to meet him, nearly falling over twice. Opening the door I saw Alice. Oh no. the sight of Alice standing there-her tawny eyes shining with excitement, and a small silver-wrapped box in her hands. I specifically told Alice not to get me anything, anything. No gifts or even attention for my birthday. Obviously my wishes had been ignored.

Alice skipped towards me elegantly. Her pixie face glowing under her spiky black hair. "Happy Birthday Bella" she exclaimed thrusting the gift in my face "shh!" I hissed "I thought I told you, no presents!" We walked over to where Edward was still waiting for us. "I'm not allowed to wish you a happy birthday correct?" he spoke like an angel. "Correct" I laughed though as I said it. "Shall we leave then?" Alice interrupted "yep let's go" I was secretly excited.

We arrived at the Cullen's house within five minutes, thanks to Edward. The outside was decorated with pink and white roses. "Let me guess this is the fine work of Alice" I was impressed "fine work indeed" she replied with a giggle. We walked inside and "HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLA!" everyone said well yelled except Rosalie.

Esme gave me a hug and so did Carlisle. Emmett came over and nearly broke my back with his bear hug, Jasper just said hi. He didn't hug me or even shake my hand. I thought he was over my scent. I guess not. Rosalie just…well you know Rosalie

I was lead over a table with a white cloth draped over it next to Edward's grand piano, holding a pink birthday cake, more roses, a stack of glass plates, and a small pile of silver wrapped presents. Alice took my camera from Charlie and replaced it with a silver box. It was from Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper. Tore it opened and imagined what would be in there,

But it was empty.

"Um . . . thanks."

Rosalie actually smiled. Jasper laughed. "It's a radio; Emmett is installing it now so you can't refuse".

Alice handed me the next present. I unwrapped the gift, but as I did I got a paper cut. "Ow shoot". Jasper tried to lunge at me, but Edward was quicker. He charged at me and we both went flying across the room smashing some of the crystal bowls full of roses. "Bella!" I heard Alice scream. Jasper was taken outside my Emmett and Rosalie.

Carlisle patched me up and Edward took me home. We didn't speak at all. We pulled into the driveway and I got out. I started walking then turned around. "Just say something!" I yelled at him "what am I supposed to say, Jasper could have bitten you". "Yes and that means I'd be like you" I whispered and he heard me. "Bella how many times do I have to tell you, I am not going to ruin your life" he was frustrated. "It won't be worth living if you're not with me" a tear rolled down my eye. He relaxed now. "Bella I'm sorry" he held me close and I never wanted him to leave. "Just promise me one thing never leave me". "I promise." He walked me inside.

Charlie was on the couch watching the game. "You kids ok? It sounded pretty intense out there and what happened to you arm?" He was always worrying about me. "It's fine dad." Edward sat next to Charlie. "Stay right there I'll be back." I ran upstairs to find my camera. I had it ready as I leaned around the corner. I was sure there was no chance that I had caught Edward by surprise, but he didn't look up. So I took the picture.

They both looked at me then. Charlie frowned. Edward's face was empty, expressionless.

"What are you doing Bella" Charlie complained. "Oh come on" I smiled sitting down on the floor next to Edward. "You know mum will call me to see if I've used my presents yet and I don't want to hurt her feelings."

"Why are you taking photos of me?" he grumbled. "Because you're handsome" I teased. "And because you bought me the camera so therefore I am allowed to take pictures of you"

He mumbled something under his breath

"Hey Edward take one of my dad and I together" I avoided his eyes I through him the camera.

"Smile Bella" Edward murmured

I did my best and the camera flashed.

"Let me take one of you kids" Charlie suggested. He was trying to get the camera's flash off himself. Edward gently tossed the camera to Charlie.

Edward put his arm around my shoulders and I wrapped mine around is waist.

"Smile Bella" Charlie reminded me. The flash nearly blinded me. "Enough pictures for the night" Charlie slumped back down in his chair and continued watching the game. "Come Edward let's go upstairs."

By the time I reached my room, Edward was already lying on my bed. He smiled his crooked smile. It melted my heart. I sat next to him and as I did he handed me a flat box. "What's this?" I was really surprised. "Your birthday present from me". I opened it and inside was a CD. Edward took it from me and placed it in the CD player. The first song was a lullaby that Edward wrote for me last spring. I was touched. "Thank you Edward" I rested my head on his chest and was quickly asleep.

The next day was school and it was a sunny day. Which meant Edward would not be there. The day was really a blur except for lunch. That was fun. I sat with Mike, Jess, Angela and Eric. I got out my camera and asked them if I could get some photos of them. Soon we were all having fun, making silly faces and just being goofy. "Oh sorry Bella we used up the whole roll" Jess said. "That's ok".

That night I went home and scrapbooked all the photos that I'd taken. The ones at the party: Alice and Jasper hugging, Emmett with his arm around an annoyed Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme and Edward and me. The ones I took at home: Charlie and Edward totally oblivious of my presence, Charlie and me, Edward and me again and one of Edward in Charlie's kitchen. Then there were the ones I took at school. I stuck the one of Edward on the paper and wrote: My angel, Edward Cullen, Charlie's kitchen September 13th 2008.

Edward didn't come over that night, I was disappointed. That night I had a dream. Edward and I were dancing on the clouds. He spoke. I will always love you Bella" he leaned in to kiss me, but instead he bit me. I screamed and woke up. His words were in my head, I knew he always would.

There was a knock on the door; I opened it to find Edward gracefully waiting by his car. Stupid fast vampire. He didn't have his usual crooked smile across his face. "Can we go for a walk?" he voice was very serious. I followed him to were he stood at the beginning of the trail. Some walk.

"Bella we're leaving". "What, why?" I was so confused. "You're not safe with me" he looked away. "Edward I only feel safe with you!" I yelled at him." Bella everyone has already left I stayed behind to tell you goodbye". "I don't understand?" he sounded so different to the Edward I knew. "So your saying you don't love me?" I asked him. "Of course, I will always love you… in a way. But what happened the other night made me realise that it's time for a change. Because I'm… tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human" he was angry, but I didn't know why. "Edward please don't leave me, you promised" tears started rolling down my face. "It'll be like I never existed" he told me. "Don't…don't say that" I looked into his eyes, they were black. "Goodbye Bella, it's for the best" he kissed my on the cheek and left. "NO!" I cried out "Edward come back, don't leave me!"

I tried to follow him into the forest, but he was gone. I collapsed next to a tree and cried for hours. I heard voices and thought it was Edward. "I'm here, Edward I'm over here" I yelled. It wasn't Edward though, it was Sam Uley. "She's over here" he shouted to someone.

That night I stared out my window and watched the rain fall from the sky. I was waiting for him to come back to me, hoping he would come back to me.

Charlie came in and sat down on my bed. "Was it Edward, was he the one who left you in the forest?" he asked gently. I nodded. "I tried to follow, but I never found him. When Charlie left I searched for my photos and the CD, but they had disappeared. "It'll be like I never existed". His words echoed in my head. I wondered if I would ever see him again.

That night I dreamt of him. His bronze hair and golden eyes, but it was his velvet voice I wanted to hear. The way he spoke like he was from another time. I wished he never had to leave. "It's for the best" he told me. "No!" I cried out "Edward come back, don't leave me".

Charlie came into my room and hugged me. "It's ok" he whispered. "Why did he have to leave me?" I sobbed.

It has been four months since he left me. Even though I was surrounded by people, I have never felt more alone. About three weeks after they'd gone I found out I was pregnant. It was such a shock. I was at school and after eating lunch I suddenly felt sick. I ran to the bathroom and threw up.

Jess came to see if I was ok and I told her something must have been off. That night I sat in the bathroom crying. I stared at the pregnancy test, it was positive. I told Charlie and he completely understood. I called Jacob and he was a little angry, but he knew I loved Edward. I asked him what would happen now and he told me to come to La Push to sort things out.

So the next day I drove over to La Push and waited for Jacob. He instructed me to meet him at the cliff. There was a bench, so I sat down wondering what Edward was doing. I heard rustling in the bush behind me. "Bella how good to see you" that was the voice I never wanted to hear. "Victoria" I was so scared. "I see your boyfriend isn't here to protect you, so that means I can do what ever I want." She laughed. "I started to back away from her. "There's nowhere to run" she charged at me with speed like Edward's. "This should be fun" she smirked. She pinned me down and bit me. I screamed. Victoria stood up, so I took the chance to run. I reached the edge of the cliff. She was walking slowly towards me laughing. I took one glace and jumped.

I hit the water hard. It was so cold which made it difficult to stay above the water. "Bella don't give up" I heard his velvet voice cry out. "Keep fighting". It was pretty hard to with the pain. I tried to gather all the energy I couldn't, but it was useless. I let the water engulf me. "Bella no don't give up!" I felt a pair of hands around my waist, and then everything went black.