I was playing OoT yesterday (3/4/02) and I started making random comments
after I defeated the Jabu-Jabu dungeon. Eventually, I started talking
about cell phones and I decided to make it into a fanfic. My first attempt
at a humor fic, and I'm also trying a different style of writing for it.
so read, enjoy, and review (please!).
Disclaimer: Zelda and co don't belong the colonel, but the cell phone does!
Link: *runs towards Hyrule Castle and stops when the gate starts to open* (yes, gate, not drawbridge)
*Zelda and Impa come racing out in a white Porsche. Zelda sees Link and throws something into the castle moat. Seconds after they disappear, Ganondorf rushes out in his black Ferarri.(AN: i have very little knowledge of cars, so don't sue me or anything) He stops the car and looks around. He growls in disappointment and spies Link and rolls down the window.*
Ganondorf: You there! Little kid! Have you seen my cell phone?
Link: *backs away slowly*
Ganondorf: It was stolen by that little brat Princess Zelda. I need that cell phone back!
Link: *draws his sword and glares at Ganondorf* I will never let you use the evil cell phone!
Ganondorf: *smirks and blasts the young Hylian backwards with dark magic* You are stepping out of line, boy. Someday you will understand. Only too well. *guns the poor car and races off after Zelda and Impa.
Link: *picks himself up and stares after Ganondorf for a while*
Navi: Hey! Look! Listen! *bounces up and down madly*
Link: *shoves her in a bottle*
Navi: *can be seen mouthing "Hey! Listen! Hey!"*
Link: I don't know why the Great Deku Tree chose you. I'm getting a new fairy.
Navi: *"Hey!"*
Link: *dives in the moat and picks up whatever was thrown. It turns out to be a black cell phone with a picture of the triforce on the top.*
Navi: *mouths: "Hey! Look! Listen!" and bounces up and down inside the bottle*
Link: I wonder if this is Ganondorf's cell phone...*dials *69 and holds it up to his ear*
Voice in the phone: three little beeps The number you have dialed cannot be reached. It may have been disconnected. Please hang up and try again.
Link: *stares at the phone in mild bewilderment*
Voice in the phone: three little beeps Are you deaf? Did you not hear me the first time? I said you can't reach whatever pathetic person you are trying to call. So hang up the phone now or I will hunt you down until the day I die.
Link: o.O *drops the cell phone and stares at it in fear*
*The cell phone starts ringing*
Link: *picks it up tentatively* H-hello?
Zelda's voice: Link? Can you hear me? It's me, Zelda. Listen carefully. You are holding the Cell Phone of Time. Ganondorf stole the cell phone but he did not know the number to open the Door of Time. I reposessed the Cell Phone of Time from him when he was trying to bewitch the silverware. Link, you must never let Ganondorf get this cell phone. I will tell you the number you need to open the Door of Time: 622-7462. Good luck, Link.
Link: um...
Navi: *THUNK! the bottle rattles around on the ground and Navi pounds against the glass*
Link: *whips his head around and glares down at the fairy in a bottle* (get it? and no, I'm not a Christina Aguilera fan) I've had enough of you fairy. *takes Navi out of the bottle and binds her to a slingshot pellet. He pulls back and lets Navi fly into the mysterious clouds beyond the Desert Colossus*
Navi: HEEEYYYYYY!!!!!!!
Link: Well, that's a load off.
And so, Link pocketed the Cell Phone of Time and made his way towards the East of Hyrule Market, where the Temple of Time waited in stoic silence.
Link: *walks up to the altar in the Temple of Time and dials 622-7462 as Zelda instructed.
Voice on the phone: Please state your problem.
Link: I need the Door of Time opened so I can continue on my journey and prevent Ganondorf from getting this cell phone and spreading his evil throughout the world. *nods firmly*
Voice on the phone: One moment, please. *there is a long pause during which muffled laughter can be heard in the background* Please set the three Spiritual Stones in the altar now.
Link: *takes out the three Spritual Stones and puts them in their proper places*
Voice on the phone: Thank you. The Door of Time will now open. *disconnects*
*The giant triforce over the Door of Time begins to glow bright yellow, and the Door slides open with a rather unpleasant sound similar to a warped version of Malon singing*
Link: *covers his ears and winces*
*The Door finally stops with a big groan. Light shines down upon the Master Sword in the room beyond*
Link: *rushes into the room and stands on the pedestal before the Master Sword* wow...the Master Sword...Ganondorf will never get his hands on the Cell Phone of Time now! *pulls the Master Sword out of the pedestal*
And thus, the young Hero of Time opened the door to the future, and was sealed for seven years in the Sacred Realm. What would await him when he awoke? Can he protect the Triforce with the Cell Phone of Time? Will Ganondorf ever bewitch the castle silverware? And what happened to Navi? Do we really care?
if you review, you'll find out! anyway, no Malon bashing intended. I love 'er. She's a great kid. So, please R&R. reviews are the very elixer of life from which i drink and thrive! Tell me if you think I should do the temples or at least some version of them or not. can anyone guess what 622- 7462 spells? I wish you luck! btw, if I don't get at least six reviews for each chapter, the next one doesn't go up! ciao! ^^
Disclaimer: Zelda and co don't belong the colonel, but the cell phone does!
Link: *runs towards Hyrule Castle and stops when the gate starts to open* (yes, gate, not drawbridge)
*Zelda and Impa come racing out in a white Porsche. Zelda sees Link and throws something into the castle moat. Seconds after they disappear, Ganondorf rushes out in his black Ferarri.(AN: i have very little knowledge of cars, so don't sue me or anything) He stops the car and looks around. He growls in disappointment and spies Link and rolls down the window.*
Ganondorf: You there! Little kid! Have you seen my cell phone?
Link: *backs away slowly*
Ganondorf: It was stolen by that little brat Princess Zelda. I need that cell phone back!
Link: *draws his sword and glares at Ganondorf* I will never let you use the evil cell phone!
Ganondorf: *smirks and blasts the young Hylian backwards with dark magic* You are stepping out of line, boy. Someday you will understand. Only too well. *guns the poor car and races off after Zelda and Impa.
Link: *picks himself up and stares after Ganondorf for a while*
Navi: Hey! Look! Listen! *bounces up and down madly*
Link: *shoves her in a bottle*
Navi: *can be seen mouthing "Hey! Listen! Hey!"*
Link: I don't know why the Great Deku Tree chose you. I'm getting a new fairy.
Navi: *"Hey!"*
Link: *dives in the moat and picks up whatever was thrown. It turns out to be a black cell phone with a picture of the triforce on the top.*
Navi: *mouths: "Hey! Look! Listen!" and bounces up and down inside the bottle*
Link: I wonder if this is Ganondorf's cell phone...*dials *69 and holds it up to his ear*
Voice in the phone: three little beeps The number you have dialed cannot be reached. It may have been disconnected. Please hang up and try again.
Link: *stares at the phone in mild bewilderment*
Voice in the phone: three little beeps Are you deaf? Did you not hear me the first time? I said you can't reach whatever pathetic person you are trying to call. So hang up the phone now or I will hunt you down until the day I die.
Link: o.O *drops the cell phone and stares at it in fear*
*The cell phone starts ringing*
Link: *picks it up tentatively* H-hello?
Zelda's voice: Link? Can you hear me? It's me, Zelda. Listen carefully. You are holding the Cell Phone of Time. Ganondorf stole the cell phone but he did not know the number to open the Door of Time. I reposessed the Cell Phone of Time from him when he was trying to bewitch the silverware. Link, you must never let Ganondorf get this cell phone. I will tell you the number you need to open the Door of Time: 622-7462. Good luck, Link.
Link: um...
Navi: *THUNK! the bottle rattles around on the ground and Navi pounds against the glass*
Link: *whips his head around and glares down at the fairy in a bottle* (get it? and no, I'm not a Christina Aguilera fan) I've had enough of you fairy. *takes Navi out of the bottle and binds her to a slingshot pellet. He pulls back and lets Navi fly into the mysterious clouds beyond the Desert Colossus*
Navi: HEEEYYYYYY!!!!!!!
Link: Well, that's a load off.
And so, Link pocketed the Cell Phone of Time and made his way towards the East of Hyrule Market, where the Temple of Time waited in stoic silence.
Link: *walks up to the altar in the Temple of Time and dials 622-7462 as Zelda instructed.
Voice on the phone: Please state your problem.
Link: I need the Door of Time opened so I can continue on my journey and prevent Ganondorf from getting this cell phone and spreading his evil throughout the world. *nods firmly*
Voice on the phone: One moment, please. *there is a long pause during which muffled laughter can be heard in the background* Please set the three Spiritual Stones in the altar now.
Link: *takes out the three Spritual Stones and puts them in their proper places*
Voice on the phone: Thank you. The Door of Time will now open. *disconnects*
*The giant triforce over the Door of Time begins to glow bright yellow, and the Door slides open with a rather unpleasant sound similar to a warped version of Malon singing*
Link: *covers his ears and winces*
*The Door finally stops with a big groan. Light shines down upon the Master Sword in the room beyond*
Link: *rushes into the room and stands on the pedestal before the Master Sword* wow...the Master Sword...Ganondorf will never get his hands on the Cell Phone of Time now! *pulls the Master Sword out of the pedestal*
And thus, the young Hero of Time opened the door to the future, and was sealed for seven years in the Sacred Realm. What would await him when he awoke? Can he protect the Triforce with the Cell Phone of Time? Will Ganondorf ever bewitch the castle silverware? And what happened to Navi? Do we really care?
if you review, you'll find out! anyway, no Malon bashing intended. I love 'er. She's a great kid. So, please R&R. reviews are the very elixer of life from which i drink and thrive! Tell me if you think I should do the temples or at least some version of them or not. can anyone guess what 622- 7462 spells? I wish you luck! btw, if I don't get at least six reviews for each chapter, the next one doesn't go up! ciao! ^^