Hunt the Squirrel
Emmett attempts to scry Edward's future. But will the arrival of a pair of unexpected guests make his method worthless? Pre-Twilight. Canon.
Thanks go to my two betas who read this over for me and saving me from publicly embarrassing myself, Openhome and Audra.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Hunt the squirrel through the wood,
I lost him, I found him;
I have a little dog at home,
He won't bite you, He won't bite you,
And he will bite you.
"Can you please stop singing that stupid song?" Edward asked as politely as he could manage. If he had to hear that song another time he would be forced to break something, and the only thing at hand was the Studebaker Champion he was driving.
Emmett's face assumed an innocent expression. "But I wasn't singing it."
Edward glared at him. "In your head, Emmett. You've been singing that stupid song in your head for the past hour."
Emmett sniffed in mock hurt and looked out the car window at the dark woods of northern Minnesota. "Can't blame a man for being cheery after a successful hunt."
"But that song is not even a hunting song," Edward said in exasperation. "It's a silly children's game."
Emmett frowned. "But the lyrics are so fitting."
Edward rolled his eyes. "The lyrics are not fitting. When was the last time you hunted a squirrel?"
"Well, there was that one time." Emmett trailed off in embarrassment.
There was silence for moment. "Exactly my point," Edward finally said.
Emmett nodded seriously.
Hunt the bear through the wood,
I lost him, I found him;
I have a little teeth at home,
He won't bite you, He won't bite you,
And he will bite you.
Edward had to make an effort to modulate his grip on the steering wheel. "That version is even worse."
"No it's not, it's perfect," Emmett retorted.
Edward shook his head. "I'll never understand your mountain music."
Emmett laughed. "My mountain music? You can play your little German and French tunes all day, but that mountain music is the folk songs of both you and me."
"Masen is Norman," Edward muttered.
"Even so, we're both Cullens now. We've died and become brothers. And that's our music now."
Edward gave Emmett a condescending look. "I'd rather you sit on a cloud and play a harp."
"Play a harp? That's not a happy way to live forever. No." Emmett trailed off again with a faraway look in his eyes.
Edward heard Emmett's train of thought and sighed. He should have known that Emmett would feel a sentimental connection to that silly song. "Your mother sang these songs."
Emmett's face lit up with happiness. "Yes. She would always sing while doing her work. I don't remember exactly what all she sang, but 'Hunt the Squirrel' was one of her favorites whenever she was happier than a dead pig in the sunshine."
Edward looked over at Emmett in surprise. It was a happy tune, and yet... "Including when she was cooking squirrel for dinner?"
Emmett shrugged. "Squirrel was tasty back then."
Edward shook his head in disbelief. Emmett's blurry memory of shooting a squirrel in the head so he could take it home to Ma for dinner repulsed him.
Emmett folded his arms across his chest. "What was on your supper table growing up? Duck and fish? At least squirrels have fur."
Edward laughed. Emmett had a point. "It's all equally disgusting now."
Emmett laughed along. "Hey, my new board game should have arrived today. Want to have a go at it tonight during my free time?"
Edward raised his eyebrows in curiosity. Free time, as Emmett called it, was the hours between ten p.m. and two a.m. Emmett had decided that Edward shouldn't be alone all night every night, so he had cooked up the idea that he should occasionally spend the first half of the night keeping Edward company. Emmett scheduled it as faithfully as the football television schedule.
"That's the big secret? A board game?"
Emmett smiled jovially. "Not just any board game. This one you won't be able to cheat at. It might actually be useful."
"Useful? How can a board game be – " Edward nearly choked as he caught the name of the game from Emmett's thoughts.
"An Ouija board?" Edward exclaimed. "What were you thinking? Does Carlisle know about this?"
"Hey, Carlisle has no rules other than we don't intentionally eat humans."
Edward gave Emmett an incredulous look. "Yes, but he may also draw the line at witchcraft."
"Edward, according to you we're already damned. What's the harm in trying out a little game?"
"Because there's no point in defying God any more than we already do," Edward said, the emphatic edge to his voice nearly desperate.
Emmett just shrugged. "We just spent the last three days killing animals instead of humans. I think God is pleased enough with us right now to let this slide."
Edward threw his hands up in frustration. "And what are you hoping to learn from this little game? Are we immortal? Yes. Do we thirst after blood? Yes. Does Rosalie love you? Yes."
"Will Edward find himself a girl?" Emmett added. "Don't you want to know the answer to that one?"
Edward sniffed in distaste, trying to mask his sudden surge in curiosity. "So what if the answer is yes? Can this thing tell me when I'll find her? Or where?"
Emmett frowned. "I don't know. But you can ask it to give you a name. That might be helpful."
"And if it gives me the name of Mary or Barbara it won't be helpful at all."
Emmett considered this. "Yes, but it could also spell T-A-N-Y-"
Edward growled.
Emmett shook his head. "I don't get it. She's a Sheba, and she was interested in you. Probably still is. You can turn this car around and head to Alaska right now. I don't mind."
Edward gave Emmett a small snarl. Why everyone was so fixated on him being with Tanya was a mystery to him. "Are you in cahoots with Esme? And 'Sheba' is old hat."
"No, I'm not in cahoots with Esme. And you know what I mean."
"Look, Rosalie wasn't my type, and neither is Tanya. So please just drop it...forever."
Emmett looked out the window with a frown. "Then what is your type?" It was clear from his thoughts that he didn't think there was another type of woman who was worthy to be called a woman.
Edward clenched his teeth. He wished he knew what he was looking for, but he just knew it wasn't any type he had met yet. "I don't know. Just not them."
Emmett looked incredulous. "Strange. We'll have to ask the Ouija board."
Edward opened his mouth to reply but then shut it quickly, concentrating on the new voices he was hearing from home.
"What is it?" Emmett asked.
"Nomads. They're already in the house."
Emmett tensed. "How many?"
Edward listened carefully. "Two. A male and a female-"
"Are they aggressive?" Emmett's thoughts centered primarily on Rosalie's safety, but he was mostly irritated that the rest of the family was in danger without him there to defend them. Edward thought he might be overestimating their reliance upon his fighting ability just a bit.
"Wait," Edward commanded, slowing down when the sound of the car would be audible to those in the house.
Edward, Carlisle's mental voice called, we have two guests. They seem peaceful enough and they say they want to live with us. But they are a bit strange and I need your opinion. Basic procedure, please.
Edward nodded in response and quietly relayed the information to Emmett.
Right. So no talking to you in my head.
Edward looked at Emmett in exasperation.
Other than tactical information, of course.
Edward rolled his eyes, but then gasped as a new voice slammed into him. Edward! Does this work? Hello? I'm not exactly sure. But if you can hear me, hi, I'm Alice. Jasper and I want to join the family. I'm sorry that I had us show up when you and Emmett were gone, but I saw bad things happen between Jasper and Emmett if we came when he was home. See, I'm gifted too, and so is Jasper. Jasper doesn't want to tell anyone about my gift and I think Carlisle has told you not to mention your gift either? It's best that way. Jasper will scram if you tell him right away. But with my gift I was able to figure out your gift, though it took me a while to figure out why you were apparently having conversations with yourself. I'm so excited! I hope you can see the things I can see.
"What? What is it?" Emmett asked anxiously.
Edward shook his head, trying to clear it of the voice still prattling in his head, and tried to tune into the other new voice in the house. His thoughts were anxious and protective and... Edward listened closer and then leaned back in the seat in surprise. That was certainly a unique gift. These newcomers were quite interesting.
~*~*~*~
Edward took his usual place at the table to the left of Carlisle and across from Esme and suppressed a sigh when his position was thoroughly noted by the scarred blonde sitting at the other end of the table. Jasper was clearly sitting under protest, his desire to obey Carlisle's invitation to sit overruling his desire to remain in a position better situated for fighting.
"Perhaps our newcomers can retell their stories for the benefit of Emmett and Edward," Carlisle began. Their stories are unique, and as much as I want to believe them, I believe that they are hiding something. Please try to determine what that is.
Edward glanced at Carlisle briefly to acknowledge his instructions, but he knew that the major secrets in the room were already known, though that information was only shared by himself and the dark haired chatterbox sitting at the far end of the table.
Edward kept his face impassive as Jasper and Alice recounted their histories again, each without giving away the details of their gifts. The graphic images of war and bloodlust were common enough thoughts in nomads, and were easily sorted through. Edward was far more intrigued by the realization that when Jasper cataloged the emotions in the room he was also privy to that information. He could both hear Carlisle's suspicious thoughts as each point in their history which was subterfuge was made, and also feel Carlisle's suspicion through Jasper ability. It was like another sense, a secondary one, like the taste of something in the throat as opposed to on the tongue, it both confirmed the taste and gave it another layer.
Alice's gift was more difficult for him to manage. It took Edward a full minute to realize that not all the images in her head had actually taken place. Also, not all the images in her head could have even already taken place. Sorting out the things which she had actually seen from the things her mind had seen was initially difficult. Especially since she had an uncanny way of making the things her mind saw become real.
Can you see the things I see? Alice's thoughts shouted again. Look at my right shoulder if you do.
Edward hesitated. Carlisle had instructed that he keep his gift a secret from these nomads. Doing what Alice asked would be the same as disregarding his instruction. But why would she ask the question unless she already knew the answer?
Okay, don't acknowledge me right now. We'll practice together later. This is so exciting!
The image in her head definitely had not happened yet. Edward could see himself and Alice sitting in what used to be his room, looking at each other thoughtfully, apparently exchanging some mental information. It was more than just a hopeful imagining. Edward wondered if Alice was aware of the reason why Jasper would run away when he learned of his gift. Jasper had enough tactical experience to know that their gifts would only make Edward stronger, while giving them little to no advantage.
"Okay. Edward, I would like to speak with you privately for a moment," Carlisle said when they had finished, rising from the table.
Edward followed Carlisle out the back door as Jasper continued to hypothesize about how he fit into the structure of this coven. Jasper had correctly guessed that he was gifted in some way, but had not come close to determining what that was.
You can tell Carlisle everything, Alice yelled at him again, it's time.
Edward ran beside Carlisle a few miles away from the house where they couldn't be overheard, listening carefully as Carlisle recounted the events of the day before when the nomads arrived. His surprise and delight at seeing a pair of yellow-eyed nomads had given way to concern as he came to realize that they were being secretive.
What do they want, Edward? Carlisle finally asked when he stopped in a small grove of pine trees.
Edward gave a small shrug. "Exactly what they say they want, they want to be a part of this family." He paused a moment. "Or rather, Alice wants to be a part of this family, Jasper is unsure."
"Why? And what is their secret?"
"It's the same answer to both questions. They are both gifted. And Alice's gift is just as powerful and coveted as my own."
Carlisle raised his eyebrows in surprise. "So they don't trust us, is that it?"
Edward shook his head. "Jasper initially believed that you had a powerful gift. Something that made you able to make the four us and make us live together in peace. When he saw me sit next to you he thought that it was me and my gift that keeps us together. In fact, he entertained the notion that we are running a ruse, and that I am the real leader of this coven. He is afraid that we are either stronger than we say we are, and will use him and Alice to begin another round of wars, or we are exactly who we say we are, and our weakness with expose Alice to others."
Carlisle pondered this for a moment. "And if we tell him about your gift, what then?"
"I don't know. Conceivably, I could use their gifts to make myself stronger and prevent them from leaving. He would know this, and it will frighten him."
"It will?" Carlisle asked.
"Alice has seen it."
Carlisle looked at him with curiosity. "Seen it?"
"That's her gift." Edward paused as he noted Carlisle's confusion. "Jasper's gift is quite interesting. He can read emotions like I can read minds. He can also direct emotions. He has been making you feel artificially calm since they arrived. He meant no harm by it, it is just a simple defense mechanism for him."
"Can he use it offensively?"
Edward shook his head. "He can, though it is not particularly helpful that way. He can put us into a state of apathetic stupor, but he can't keep it at a strong enough level to incapacitate us while also destroying all of us. It is more of a defensive weapon, useful in neutralizing attacks and keeping one's allies focused on the battle."
"And also helpful for taking care of newborns," Carlisle noted, placing this new information into the story Jasper had given him.
Edward inclined his head in agreement. "Yes, he would have been handy to have around with Emmett."
Carlisle considered that. "Maybe he could still be," he finally said.
Edward snorted. "Yes."
Carlisle smiled at their shared exasperation with the antics of their newest family member. "And Alice?"
Edward looked at Carlisle. "Alice actually reminds me very strongly of you."
"Does she?"
"Her gift allows her to see the outcome of decisions. But she can also see general trajectories of her path in life. When she woke from her change she not only saw Jasper, she also saw the consequences of her thirst. She saw the grieving families and tragedy which resulted from her kills. She saw you in her visions as well, hunting animals, and decided to live the same way. That's why she came here and wants to join us, she has always seen you as a kind of father to her, guiding her to be something other than a simple savage."
"She already considers herself to be my daughter?" Carlisle's voice was thick with emotion.
Edward smiled. As he expected, Carlisle's thoughts ran through surprise, amazement, and a great deal of respect for the girl. But he knew Carlisle would be pleased to find another family member. He was already thinking of her like a long-lost child who had finally found her way home.
"This is amazing," Carlisle commented. "I thought the Denali sisters were a mere fluke, but if there are others who have a conscience...we should find them."
"Alice has been all over this continent in the past few decades, she wasn't able to find others like us," Edward said regretfully.
Carlisle thoughts fell in disappointment. "But Jasper?" he asked.
"Jasper doesn't have a conscience, per se. His gift actually makes it more difficult for him to feed from humans than it was for me." Edward paused, he knew Carlisle hated to hear the details of what his life was like when he left, but it was the only analogy he could think of. "To hear the dying thoughts of my victims was terrible, even if their thoughts were mostly concerned with the fact that they could no longer commit the crime they intended. But Jasper has to feel their pain and anguish and regret as if it is his own. With every feeding it felt like he was dying over and over again. It nearly drove him mad."
Carlisle looked at him with sympathy, his thoughts full of compassion for both him and Jasper. "But is he committed to feeding from animals?"
Edward looked down at the ground, uncomfortable with Carlisle's understanding look. "He did so initially for Alice. Though he now recognizes the reprieve it gives him. But his control is still quite poor. He will fail. Alice has seen it."
Edward heard Carlisle's thoughts weigh the implications of that. Their stable life was made possible by their control. A rogue element would disrupt that. But Carlisle would never miss the opportunity to help a vampire pursue a path which would preserve human life.
"But will he fail less if he is a part of the family, with us helping?" Carlisle asked.
Edward nodded. "I believe so, yes. Alice is good at hunting, but her technique is far from refined. It leaves her open to mistakes, and those mistakes are exacerbated by Jasper. Both of them would do better to at least have some hunting lessons."
Carlisle considered this. "It will be a bit like having a newborn in the house again, yes?"
Edward shrugged. Newborns were predictable, and one could nearly schedule their achievement of control. These newcomers were unpredictable. "A one-hundred year old newborn, with no end in sight," he commented.
Carlisle just smiled. Edward knew that Carlisle actually enjoyed the process of raising newborns and teaching them to control their thirst. "Other than control issues, do you see any risk in accepting them into the family?" he asked.
Edward shook his head. Other than being suspicious, they harbored no ill intents towards them. "No."
Carlisle was satisfied with that answer. "Then we will tell them about your gift, and hope that they will trust us?"
"Alice already knows. With her visions she figured it out. She's been screaming at me ever since she heard me drive up to the house. But she kept it from Jasper to keep him from running. I would like to reveal it when I think the time is right."
Carlisle gave him a thoughtful look. "And what time would that be?"
Edward smiled. "When Alice says it is."
Carlisle laughed ruefully. "Things will certainly be interesting with the two of you around."
"Yes, I will be privy to your future as well as your present," Edward noted with a smirk.
"As well as whatever I'm feeling at the moment?" Carlisle clarified.
Edward suppressed his chuckle as Carlisle thoughts grew indignant. "That doesn't actually give me very much new information, but yes."
Carlisle heaved a sigh of a martyr. "Wonderful. I ask God for some people to keep me company and I am blessed with those who give me no absolutely no privacy."
Edward laughed. Despite Carlisle's complaint of God taking his request much too seriously, he knew that he was delighted to have more companions.
"Let us open the vote," Carlisle said, turning towards home, "and make our decision upon the request of our guests."
~*~*~*~
"Edward and I are in agreement that Jasper and Alice intend no harm and they are genuine in their request to join this family and our way of life," Carlisle announced after he and Edward retook their seats at the dining room table. "Therefore, unless there are any further questions, I would like to open the vote on the matter of allowing Jasper and Alice to join the family."
Spill our secrets now, Edward, all of them, Alice mentally yelled.
Edward winced. "You don't have to yell, Alice. Honestly, you are about to give me a headache."
Wow, that was real smooth, Edward. Are you planning to explain that or just make everyone confused? Alice's thoughts asked, though in a lower tone of voice.
"Whoa, what's going on?" Emmett asked. His question was mentally seconded by Jasper, who was growing increasingly wary.
Edward ignored both Emmett and Alice and locked eyes with the blond newcomer. "I am gifted as well. I can hear every thought going through your mind. Forgive the deception, but it was done for the same reason you did not want Alice to reveal her gift."
Jasper eyed him suspiciously. "So you can hear what I sense?"
Edward nodded his affirmative.
"And you can hear what Alice sees?"
Edward looked at Jasper's grinning mate. "More than that, I can see what she sees."
Alice clapped her hands together enthusiastically. "Excellent! I was hoping you could."
Jasper looked at his mate in shock. "You knew? Why didn't you tell me?"
Alice let out an exasperated breath. "Because if I did," she said in a tone one used for telling someone something they should already know, "you wouldn't have come here, but now that you are here you can see that there is no danger."
Edward shared in the mental chuckles of his family. It seemed that in this relationship Alice secretly wore the pants.
"Wait, so let me get this straight," Emmett interjected. "You're gifted, both of you? What can you do?"
Jasper gave Alice one last annoyed look before turning to Emmett. "I can sense emotions, as well as influence them to some degree. Alice can see possible future events."
Emmett mulled this over. "So what you're saying is that you can both cheat at poker."
Edward joined in on the audible chuckles as Jasper's thoughts registered shock at the banality of Emmett's objection to their powerful abilities.
"Forgive Emmett's bluntness," Carlisle said in amusement, "but he has only ever been a part of this family."
"What?" Emmett asked, rising to his own defense. "It's important. I've always had to deal with this cheater over here," he motioned towards Edward, "and now my possible new brother and sister are cheaters too? There's no justice in the world." Emmett leaned back in his chair and gave Jasper a look which suggested that he placed the blame for the that injustice entirely on him.
Jasper blinked once, then turned to Alice. "They are even more bizarre than you told me."
Alice shrugged and gave him a secretive smile. Edward saw that her visions of her and Jasper living with them were holding fast.
"Very well, then," Carlisle said. "You have all been informed about the special abilities of Jasper and Alice," he paused and looked at Emmett, "which also allows them to cheat at games. Therefore, I ask that we finally commence voting. Edward?"
Edward looked at the pair and smiled at Jasper's confusion. "We make decisions as a group. If, or when" he looked at Alice, "you are part of the family, you will have a vote as well."
"Bizarre," Jasper muttered.
Edward heard the underlying respect in Jasper's mind for Carlisle's leadership, and that made him certain that the troubled nomad would be able to integrate into their ways. "I vote yes."
Emmett looked at the pair and smiled. "Aww, sure, even though you're both cheaters, if you want to join this family then I'll just have to deal with that. That's a yes."
Rosalie looked at Carlisle. "You say they are safe?" When Carlisle inclined his head in affirmation she nodded. "Then my vote is yes."
Esme smiled and squeezed Carlisle's hand. "I say yes as well."
Carlisle squeezed Esme's hand back and looked at Jasper. "I want you to understand that even if I vote no, you will still be voted in, is that understood?"
Jasper inclined his head.
"Even so, I vote yes. Now, wait," Carlisle held up his hand as Alice clapped excitedly, "there are a few basic rules. Well, one rule and then Esme's rules about how to treat her house." He paused as Esme gave him an appreciative smile. "My only rule is that if you intend to hunt humans that you separate from the family. If you want to hunt animals again you can return without question, but I hope you understand that our family exists on the premise that we respect human life. If you can accept this rule, then you are welcomed into this family."
"I accept," Jasper said in agreement as Alice nodded enthusiastically.
"Very well. Alice you may cheer now," Carlisle said.
Alice jumped up and threw herself into Jasper's arms, pressing her forehead against his. Edward watched in fascination as Alice sent Jasper her feelings of relief, joy, happiness, and completion and he reciprocated. Edward felt a pang of jealousy as he saw how their gifts meshed to create a nearly mystical language between them.
Edward was brought back to the present by Jasper sending him a suspicious look out of the corner of his eye. "No offense, I was just admiring the way you and Alice can use your gift to communicate," Edward said, looking away.
Jasper eyed him curiously. There is no one for you, then? his thoughts ventured to guess.
Edward shrugged and shook his head. He had always felt self-sufficient, not needing anyone who he would have to hear prattle on for all eternity. But seeing Jasper's joy at Alice using his gift to share herself with him made him feel a deep sense of longing for something of the same.
"So, wait," Emmett cut in, "you can see the future, Alice?"
"It is more like the outcome of decisions, but yes," Alice answered warily.
"So can you tell us when Edward will find himself a girl? Or what her name is?" Emmett asked, his face full of curiosity.
"Emmett," Edward said in warning, glancing at Alice as she flipped through his possible futures.
"It doesn't quite work like that. Sometimes I can see distant things, like when I saw Jasper the first time, or Carlisle." Alice looked at Edward regretfully. "I don't see any romance for you at the moment, I'm sorry."
"Shucks," Emmett said, "I guess we'll have to ask the Ouija board anyways."
"Ouija board?" Carlisle asked in alarm.
Emmett threw his hands up in a show of innocence. "It's a game Edward can't cheat at, plus it might tell us where to find Edward's girl."
"I will not have a Ouija board in this house," Esme said, giving Emmett a look which said that her decision was absolute.
Emmett rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll take it to the garage."
"No, you are going to throw it away," Rosalie ordered him. "Why would you even think to buy such a thing?"
"Hey, my Meemaw was always lookin' in wells to see the future, this is about the same thing," Emmett said as if the explanation was obvious.
Edward groaned and rested his forehead on the palm of his hand. He was glad that Esme and Rosalie agreed with him that the mountain people were still under the influence of their native heathenism.
"You heard Esme," Carlisle said to Emmett, "you can not bring that thing in the house. Whether you want to listen to your wife's instructions or not is up to you, but I suggest that you do."
Emmett's face fell in disappointment. "Sorry, Edward," he mumbled.
"No need to apologize," Edward responded, his relief that Emmett could not tempt him with witchcraft tempered by a touch of disappointment that he would not be finding the answer to the question of a possible mate.
"You wouldn't have learned anything useful anyways," Alice said, looking at Edward with sympathy, "I can at least see that."
Edward saw Alice recall her vision of the future which was now impossible due to the fact that Emmett had decided to obey Rosalie's instruction to destroy the offending game and laughed. "You should be thanking Rosalie right now, Emmett."
Emmett looked quickly between Edward and Alice. "Why? What would have happened?"
Alice joined Edward in his laughter. "You only would have made a fool of yourself, that's all," she told Emmett with a sweet smile. "If you want to do that, then by all means, take the Ouija board out to the garage and use it."
"What would I have done?" Emmett asked insistently.
Edward shook his head. "You don't want to know."
"Oh, this is just rich," Rosalie commented, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "More secret mental knowledge in the family. You all have fun with your ESP, I'm going to go play with a carburetor."
Edward clenched his hands into tight fists under the table as Rosalie stalked out of the room. Even though he knew Rosalie was simply reacting to feeling ordinary in comparison to those with extra abilities, it still stung to feel like he belonged in a circus sideshow.
"Don't mind her," Emmett said to Jasper and Alice, excusing her behavior, "she's just feeling left out."
"It's okay," Alice said. We're freaks, Edward. You and I most of all. But that's okay, because I like you anyways, just the way you are.
Edward looked at the elfin creature with her joyous dandelion-colored eyes and felt a deep sense of kinship. While he knew that his family accepted that he had his extra ability, they could not fully understand the impact it had on him. But this girl did understand, and she was still willing to offer him her friendship.
"Thank you," Edward murmured, glancing down at the table shyly, "I am honored to call you my sister."
"So you really don't mind that I stole your room?" Alice asked.
Edward laughed. Of course she wouldn't ask him that until he was willing to say that he was happy to give her his room. "You are also a little imp, you know that?"
"Yes, of course," Alice said with a wicked smile. What's the point of being a freak if you can't have a bit of fun with it?
"So you're really going to be living in the garage now?" Emmett asked Edward.
"Yes, so please don't do anything in there that I wouldn't do, please," Edward said, giving him a stern look.
Emmett grinned. "As you wish." He turned to Esme. "But shouldn't Alice's bedroom be in the garage? You just outlawed scrying in the house, and she is apparently scrying all the time. Isn't that right, Edward?"
Edward looked at Emmett in disbelief as he realized he was being absolutely serious. "What Alice does is quite a bit different from your Meemaw peering down wells."
Esme nodded in agreement. "Alice lives in the house," she insisted.
"Fine," Emmett said, mentally considering the double standard that was being set. "But wait, can you use your gift for hunting? So you can tell me where to find a decent bear when we go out?"
Alice gave Emmett an exasperated look. "Yes, sometimes I can do that."
Emmett grinned. "I'm so glad you're my sister too."
Edward groaned as Emmett left to find Rosalie, still humming the same tune in his head, only with more new words.
Hunt the bear through the wood,
I lost him, I found him;
I have a crystal ball at home,
It won't find you, It won't find you,
And it will find you.
A/N: The song "Hunt the Squirrel" is sung to the tune better known as "A-Tiskit A-Tasket."
"To scry" means to see or predict the future, usually by means of a crystal ball or some other reflective surface.
I must admit here that my characterizations of Jasper and Alice are largely influenced by Openhome's stories, Singularity and Coalescence. I recommend both of them highly.
I wrote this piece as a point-of-view study, just to try my hand at writing a third-limited with Edward. I think my next multi-chapter fic will be in third-limited, so I wanted to have a go at it first. If you see any craft problems in my use of third-limited please tell me. I want to do better.