***Fair Warning***

-This is unbeta'd
-English is not my first language
-The story is different from what we already know it's going to happen at the beginning of S5.

Hope you can pass through that and... Enjoy it!

He's been living in her house since that night. At first they didn't know where Emma was, so Regina didn't want him nor Roland to be in danger in the middle of the woods. Also, that same night, they moved the Merry Men's camp to a safer place until they knew it was safe to come back.

Having Robin, Roland and Henry in the house with her was all she wanted, the life she had pictured a while ago, her happy ending finally happening but of course things never were that easy in her life and having them there under these unusual circumstances wasn't the ideal thing. But, she bit the bullet and accepted what was coming. She had Robin now; she knew he'll be there for her, so if this was the way their relationship was going to start she'll take it. Together, they'll face the world.

She used magic to furnish Roland's new room, just the basics. She wanted him to think about how he wanted to decorate his room and they will do it… at some point, she hoped. Once the little boy was settled she left Robin with him until he fell asleep and she went to Henry's room to check on him.

Henry was lying in his bed when Regina came in. There was so much sadness into the boy's eyes and he was holding back the tears she guessed he was trying to prove that he wasn't a little boy anymore. Her heart broke; she knew he was in pain. Watching her son like this moved some old feelings inside of her and she promised him that no matter what she'll bring Emma back to him. She offered to take him to the Charming's loft after all that's where he was living since the first curse broke and she didn't want to force him to stay with her if he didn't want to. He declined her offer, surprisingly for her, he chose to stay at the manor. Maybe he just wanted to make sure she would keep her word. She smiled and kissed him goodnight trying to banish those thoughts out of her mind.

She got out of Henry's room and found Robin coming in her direction. He wanted to say goodnight and be sure that she didn't need anything before he returned to Roland's room and sleep in the armchair. She stopped him and told him that she had another guest room that she could set for him to sleep and be more comfortable, he told her that he was quite content just to be in the same place she was and as long as her and the boys were safe that was more than enough for him. He always knew what to say and do to disarm her to get to her heart; she couldn't help the growing warmth inside of her and all she could do was tell him "Do you want to stay with me?" she couldn't believe she had told him that, even less how vulnerable her voice sounded, so she was going to back out when Robin saw it and took her by her waist, touching her forehead with his, their mouths mere inches apart he told her "I will always want to be by your side". She relaxed a little in his arms and they kissed, none of them knew who made the first move but it didn't matter from that moment on he started to sleep in her room… their room!.

.oOQo.

Two weeks since Emma saved Regina and became the Dark One, and the situation was taking the best of Regina; she was grumpy, upset, frustrated, tired… she barely slept at night, always trying to find the way to bring Emma back or at least to be able to get out of Storybrooke to Camelot. They don't know where she is or how she is, the dagger disappeared as soon as they were going to take it and that's it, anything else from that day.

The Charmings organized search parties to look after her and with the help of the merry men they scanned the whole town and forest, but nothing, she was definitely out of Storybrooke.

Killian and Belle have been searching on every single book she have for something that could help them. Belle found an enchantment that could work but she needed the translation. A few days ago she tried to contact the professor that helped her before but she hasn't had any response. So, today she was at Granny's talking with the Charmings about it when Maleficent approached them. She overheard the conversation and kindly told them that Rumple was "the professor". She filled them in with the story she was told once about Rumple's plan to get back to Storybrooke. Maleficent didn't want to crush their hopes, she was grateful with Emma for bring Lily back to her, so, she only did it in order to make them find another way. This left them with nothing, again.

Nothing!, that's all they had achieved in two weeks, no way to get to Camelot and no way to summoning Emma back to Storybrooke.

.oOQo.

Robin has been supportive, been there for her, Henry and Roland. But lately, to get her to sleep and to eat -at least- was a battle he was willing to fight less and less, each time was harder.

Roland sneaked into her study and in a very sweet voice said "Regina can you read to me tonight?" Regina turned to look at him, then, to her watch. She sighed. She had missed dinner again. The five minutes she has asked Robin turned into two hours, time flew and she had barely seen Roland and Henry this couple of weeks. "My boy... there you are, it's time for bed…" "I know papa, but I want Regina to read to me" said Roland in a very soft and whining voice, Robin looked at her and saw her watery eyes "Tell you what my boy, I'll read to you and Regina will come to kiss you good night... deal?" "Okay" said the little boy while a couple of tears rolled down his cheeks, they turned around and started to walk out of the room.

That sight could be reason enough to rip her own heart out. Guilt and remorse invading her heart and she could swear that also her soul.

"Robin wait" said Regina getting up the chair, her body aching for all the hours she had spent in the same position "I should take a little break anyway". He looked at her with a saddest smile while Roland ran to her; she bent down and took him in her arms hugging him. Roland put his little arms around her neck, she got up and she helped him put his legs around her waist and she started to walk to his room, Robin right behind them.

He rested himself against the doorframe as he watched both of them interact, he was amazed with that sight, his son and the woman he loves sharing some quality time was something he was grateful for.

She tucked him in and started to read him his story, short after, she saw he was distracted, fidgeting his little fingers and she knew he wanted to say something. "What is it sweetie?" Roland looked at her with wide eyes and open mouth and looked down to his still moving fingers "Do you want to ask me something?" He nodded and looks up at her "How... How is it that Henry got two mommies?" that was the last thing she would had expected him to ask. "Well, sometimes things don't go the way they're supposed to. When Henry was born Emma, his birth mother, couldn't take care of him. So, after some paperwork I became, we could say... his mother by law, and then I was able to bring him home with me and take care of him".

He was listening intently at her "So you chose him to be your son?" at that Regina smiled "Yes, we could definitely said that but I believe that was our destiny to find each other and be together". Something was on his head, he was processing her words and she just knew that there was something else. "Wanna know a secret?" she asked him lowering her voice but loud enough for Robin to be able to hear her, the little boy looked at her and nodded enthusiastically, she bent a little and said "I also truly believe, from the bottom of my heart, that was my destiny to find you and your papa and for all of us to become a family" Roland's smile was so big that illuminated the room and her heart. "Really?" he asked and she nodded smiling at him too.

He sat up and hugged her tight for a little while "Regina..." whispering with his head over her shoulder "Can you choose me too?" her eyes filled with tears again and she took a deep breath and hugged him a little tighter trying to hold back her tears, even though the moment was so overwhelming she managed to smile and replied "I already did sweetheart". Roland raised his head from her shoulder and put his little hands on her cheeks looking seriously and directly into her eyes "Like Henry?".

Her heart stopped for half sec. This was a delicate issue that she never had discussed with Robin. She put her forehead against his "In my heart, yes, you are" she tickled him and he chuckled but then he remembered that she said another thing about Henry and frowned "but what about the other way?", she sighted she was hoping he will drop the subject at least for the night so she could talk to Robin about it. "Do you mean... by law?" Roland nodded staring intently at her, she was speechless and turned quickly at Robin who looked quite bemused but managed to give her a brave but unconvincing smile.

She took a deep breath hoping that what she was about to say was the right thing "If that's what you really want we could do it, it'll take a little bit of time and your papa's authorization" She winked at him and rub the tip of her nose against his and he giggled, Robin approached them and kissed the top of their heads, he was touched. "Ok little man it's time for you to come back to bed and sleep" Roland was quickly getting under the covers and asked him very seriously "Papa do you believe in destiny?" Robin looked at him and then at Regina "Sure I do my boy... sure I do" he answered smiling and winking at him and when Robin kissed his forehead Roland immediately put his hands around his neck and turned to Regina beckoning at her with his little hand to hug her too. They kissed him good night and got out of his room.

.oOQo.

As soon as she step out of Roland's room she was trembling, running her fingers through her hair, taking deep breaths while she walk along the hallway. Robin saw the emotional turmoil she was in and stopped her. "I'm sorry Robin, I..." Robin hugged her, holding her against him, soothing her "I'm the one who's sorry, he kind of ambushed you… I swear I had no idea he was going to do that" Regina looked up at him, her voice low "I didn't know what to say to him, we haven't had the chance to talk about it... I... I want you to know that I don't pretend to take Marian's place in his life, I just..." Robin stop her putting his thumb on her lips and made sure she was looking at him before tell her softly "I'm not mad Regina and I don't want you to feel forced to do anything you aren't comfortable with" she shook her head "Robin, I meant every word I said to him"

He smiled and gave her a sweet kiss "I don't want to sound selfish or to be misunderstood but I would be more than happy if you take Marian's place in his life" she frowned not quite understanding his words, Robin continued "She's not here to do it herself Regina. She can't tuck him in at night or hug him or cook for him or read to him the way he wanted you tonight. He cares for you, you're important to him and the fact that Henry had two mommies apparently made him think about his own… situation. I want Marian to remained in his heart and mind and I'll take care of that" she was looking intently at him almost not believing his words "Regina I want my son to be happy, to feel save, to have a normal life" at that she raised an eyebrow and he chuckled "Fine, I give you that, let's say as normal as possible. He knows his mama can't be here with him and I always thought that I was enough… you know?" she nodded and said in the most defeated way "I do know. I always thought the same with Henry… until he run away to find his real mother"

Robin saw the hurt in her watery eyes at the painful memory "Hey, stopped it, you're pass that, you both are, what happened made you the person you're today. You know he loves you and he knows how much you love him and the greatest proof is that the two of you broke the last two curses, so, please Regina, don't torture yourself with painful thoughts" she took a deep breath trying to hold back her tears "I know Robin but it doesn't change the fact that still hurts to know that for a time my child didn't want me near him, that he was afraid of me, that he hated me, that I wasn't enough, that he preferred to be with the woman who abandoned him instead of me... He... He even gave his life for hers and I know that that's something he's never going to do for me, I know he loves me but his love for me doesn't reach that level, it never will... But, my biggest fear is that if I don't save Emma he could go back to that, to hate me and wanting been away from me and I..." tears were running freely down her cheeks and Robin's heart broke "I can't Robin. I just can't. If I see hatred in his eyes towards me... It might kill me" he hugged her tighter, she looked so fragile and he wanted to protect her, to never let her go, his heart was aching for her suffering and a couple of tears ran down his cheeks.

He took her face between his hands wiping her tears with his thumbs, if only he could do the same in her heart... Just brush away her pain. He closed his eyes for a second to breath and she did the same, he made her to look at him putting one hand on her hip and leaving the other one over her cheek "Regina that's not going to happen, you need to put those thoughts away, they're hurting you. Henry loves you, he believes in you" she shook her head "Robin you don't understand and you don't know what I've been through. I'm always on the tightrope, under everyone's scrutiny, every single person in this damned town is always waiting for me to misstep and proof them right, it doesn't matter how many times I save their asses I'm always the first one to be blamed and now with Emma sacrificing herself for me..." she groans "I didn't asked for it, is not…" she looked down to avoid his gaze and in a very low voice said "Maybe everything would be better if it was me instead of her"

Robin's wide eyes were fixed on her, he couldn't believe the words he was hearing, how could she say something like that? "Please Regina, never say that again. When the darkness was over you my heart stopped beating, I was so scared... I. Can't. Lose. You..." she looked up at him still some tears filling her eyes "WE can't lose you... And yes, Emma sacrifice herself for you but she also did it for the town and her family... it was a bit of everything and she did it because she knew that all of us were going to bring her back" she was going to reply but he cut her off "All of us Regina. I'm grateful for what she did for you and I don't want to be on a side doing nothing, I want to help you and Henry wants too. Let us. We have a better chance working together... We are on your side, we all want the same" she sigh and replied "I don't like to be in debt Robin"

He smiled caressing her cheek "My love, you know as well as I do that even if she didn't do it for you, you would be working all the same to save her, you probably would be telling us, and yourself, that is for Henry but deep down you know that you care for her, you already saved her a few weeks ago and you will do it again. Besides, with Gold still out of the picture, we wouldn't stand a chance to save you, so, as hard as it sounds it is better this way" she kissed him and hugged him, his words actually brought some sort of comfort to her mind and her heart and she was able to breathe in a different way, she even managed to give him a little smile. He put his fingers under her chin and tilted her head to kiss her some more. She broke the sweet kiss and frowned "It was fiction not a curse" he looked straight into her eyes and smiled "I was supposed to spend the rest of my life married to Zelena, I didn't had my son and I had to watch you die in my arms... For me that's a curse, and the worst one!" she nodded understanding his point.

"How the hell did we ended up talking about this when we were talking about Roland?" he chuckled and she continued "Do you think he'll remember the conversation tomorrow? He was sleepy" he looked down at her "He definitely will. He kind of got a mommy and a big brother today. Do you really think he's going to forget about it?" she shook her head smiling "No, I guess not" he pecked her lips lingering there a bit more than necessary.

.oOQo.

Henry was in his room passing through the pages of his storybook, trying to find something that somehow could help them. He frowned hearing their voices, something happened with Roland that much he could figure it out and when he heard about the two mommies issue he smiled remembering that earlier that day they had a little talk about Emma being his mother too. Apparently the subject didn't leave the little boy's mind and somehow he got to freak out the two adults, specially his mom. But suddenly, just when he was going to get out of his room to tell them about his little talk with the boy, he heard the turn of the conversation and he couldn't help the way his heart twisted when he heard how much his mom was still hurt by the way he treated her. They have come a long way since then, they have built a stronger relationship but the fact that his mom deep down was afraid of him turning back to hate her broke his heart. Robin was telling her the right things but Henry knows his mom, once the damage is done, she needs more than words to make her believe how much they truly love her. Tears rolled down his cheeks at the painful memory of her dying in front of him and he could agree with Robin, that 'fiction' was like a curse, a reversible short one thankfully and all they can do is to look into the bright side of it, a reminder of the things (people) that all of them almost lost. He wiped away his tears, took a deep breath to calm himself down and took a look in the mirror to be sure his eyes weren't going to betray him. The last thing she needs right now is to think that he is crying for Emma, he miss her of course and he wants her back but right now he needs to find the way to fully heal his relationship with his mom.

.oOQo.

Henry got out of his room finding them in the hallway "Hey guys, it's everything alright?" they broke apart and turned to him "Yes sweetheart just putting Roland to bed, I was coming kiss you goodnight and then down stairs, I need to finish the book Belle brought me earlier" she said softly kissing his forehead "Go to bed, love you".

Henry could see how tired she was; also, she had missed dinner again and by the corner of his eye he could see the change in Robin, he passed from relaxed to tense in a mere second, he had heard Robin discussing with her many times because her lack of sleep and eat "Mom, wait" Regina turned to look at him "You need a rest" "Henry I'm…" she started to say but Henry cut her off "No… it's enough. You need to eat and you need to sleep. I need you and mom needs you to bring her back but I also need you as my mom, us your family... we miss you. If you continue this way you're going to get sick and then we'll all be screwed" she gave him a severe look, he knew that language wasn't allow.

"Sweetheart I'm fine, I just need to mend this mess" Henry was determined; there was no way he was going to let her get her way "No if it's means that I could lose you in the process too... If that's the price, I'm not willing to pay it" Regina was touched by his words but also was frustrated, she was failing in every way, the more she wanted to solve things the most stuck she got.

Henry saw her conflicted face, she was looking at the floor but he was able to see the tears rolling down her cheeks, he softened his tone "Please mom... I can't lose you... And you will solve this, I know you will, I'm pretty sure that you're the only one that can save Ma, you will find the way but you need a clear head to be able to do it" she frowned, her gaze still directed to the floor and wiping the tears from her face she said in a very low and defeated voice "I think that you're putting your faith in the wrong place Henry. I haven't accomplish anything in the past two weeks, I'm failing in every aspect of my life and sooner than later you will realized that I'm not Emma's savior... I just... I can't do it"

Henry got a step closer bending his knees a little to catch her eyes straining himself he made sure she was still looking at him "What?" she asked, looking at him, switching between his eyes "Mom you're not failing at anything. Maybe it's time for all of us to sit down again, without you and Killian trying to kill each other and try to figure something out... Besides, when I've been wrong?, tell me just about one time... I believe in you, we all do, why can't you?" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath filling her lungs with air and releasing it slowly, Henry hugged her tight and murmured "I love you mom" she hug him back and rested her cheek over his temple, he was growing so fast "I love you too baby... So much". "Now... eat and sleep. No more reading for today" he was looking intently at her "Promise me" she rolled her eyes and frowned "Fine... I'll drop it for the night" Henry chuckled "Good" and returned to his room.

TBC? Let me know if I should continue it!

Next on "Insecurities"… Is it time for R&R to face their own emotions? Do they have anything to say to each other?