A/N: This started as a smut request from LannMelo. Then my muse must have gone drinking or something because what I came up with instead was this. But I like it so I'm publishing it. Maybe someday I'll write the Miriam/Liara smut request LannMelo made. Maybe. *Sigh*

Miriam's heart fluttered behind her ribs. She was feeling so guilty. But whenever that flared up, it was quickly answered by a fresh wave of anger. Liara had pushed her away. They hadn't been together. So she had found solace in the arms of another woman. She hadn't intended to fall in love, but who did?

"Commander, what's wrong? You're extremely agitated."

Some of the panic eased just at the sound of the voice, and Shepard sighed, turning to her yeoman. "I… we need to talk, Chambers."

Kelly nodded, locking her terminal and stepping away. Bless her and her willingness to just do what I need with no question. "Alright. Your quarters?"

Shepard nodded, turning and stepping into the lift. The second the door slipped shut, she reached out for Kelly's hand. The redhead took it, smiling up at her commander. Shepard sighed, reaching up and cupping Kelly's pale cheek with her own dusky hand.

"I feel like a monster," she confessed.

Kelly nodded, leaning into the caress. "You've said that before. About a few things. What's bothering you this time?"

Shepard sighed, turning away. "Liara."

The lift door opened, and Shepard moved past Kelly to get out into the small hall. Letting the door to her cabin scan her retina, Shepard stepped inside. She heard Kelly's softer steps on the bulkhead behind her.

"Miriam…" Her tone held both concern, and a hint of warning. Like she was saying "don't make me pry this out of you."

"I still love her!" Shepard burst in frustration, rounding on Kelly as the door slid shut.

Kelly, undeterred by Shepard's slightly accusatory and aggressive stance, merely gazed back at her. "I know, Miriam."

Shepard deflated. "You… know?"

Kelly sighed. "I'm not an idiot, Miriam."

"But… I love you…."

The redhead smiled. "Yes, I know."

Shepard was utterly perplexed. "But… you're okay with this?"

Kelly shook her head, chuckling quietly. "My love is not conditional on your love for me or anyone else. As I know yours isn't, either. Besides, you're not with her right now."

Shepard shifted her gaze guiltily. "Not… not right now…"

There was a pause. "Shepard, you invited her here when you visited her on her ship today, didn't you?"

"Yes. To talk."

"If that's not code for 'I want you back,' I don't know what is," Kelly said, shaking her head in exasperation.

"Look, I don't know what I want-"

"Yes you do, Miriam."

Shepard looked up, brows furrowed. There was a good few feet between them: physical distance to mirror the emotional distance between them. "You sure seem to know what I want. Do you realize how unnerving it is to have you tell me what I'm thinking or feeling before even I know?"

Kelly deflated a little. "Sorry. I'm good at people. Gets in the way sometimes…" She turned, green eyes boring into blue. "I'm not wrong, though. We both know what you want, your ideal situation. You just won't ask for it."

Miriam finally moved to Kelly's side, reaching for her hand once more. "How can I ask for that? I just got you back from-"

"Don't," Kelly interrupted, holding up her free hand. "Don't say it." Shuddering, the redhead moved seemingly unconsciously into Miriam's embrace. Indeed, that embrace seemed to be the only thing that truly helped Kelly when she was reminded of the Collectors and her abduction.

Miriam accepted the smaller woman into her arms gratefully. If Shepard was still her source of comfort, then Kelly couldn't be too pissed. "I love you, and I saved you, and you saved me throughout this whole shit-show. You kept me sane when I thought I was losing my mind. I can't… I can't ask you for that."

The warm body in her arms trembled, but the voice was devoid of tears, clear and strong, when it said, "Miriam, you're in love with two people. And you… you have such a capacity for love. Of all the people I've known, I believe you truly could give the love and attention that both of us would require. Especially now the mission is over and we can all breathe for a minute."

Miriam nodded. The Collectors gone meant they could all relax and catch their breaths. But still her guilt was not alleviated. "It's not fair, Kelly."

Kelly's grip on the back of Shepard's shirt tightened. "I can share you if she can, Miriam. But please… ask me? Say the words?"

Shepard sighed, breathing in the scent of Kelly's hair. Somehow, Kelly had decided this for her. "I love you, Kelly. I love Liara. If… if she's okay with it, I'd like to try being with both of you."

Kelly was quiet a moment. Then she was nodding, her hands moving to the back of Shepard's neck and pulling the commander down into a fiery kiss. Pulling back momentarily, she murmured, "Yes," before dragging Miriam to the bed. Shepard understood. She might be willing to share, but Shepard was primarily hers for now.

So Miriam did her best to make that clear, lavishing Kelly in attention for the rest of the afternoon.

"Liara! How'd you enjoy the tour?"

The asari stood at the threshold into the room, looking around, taking in the spacious cabin. She had a dress on, a gorgeous green and white unlike anything Miriam had ever seen her in. It made the human feel remarkably under-dressed in her unmarked, black fatigues and t-shirt.

Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now.

Liara's gaze snapped to Shepard's when the commander addressed her. "Yes," she said, her voice warm, pleasant, entirely unlike it had been when they first met up again on Illium. "It was lovely. This ship is impressive, and beautiful. I saw some friendly and familiar faces. I was surprised that Joker was happy to see me. And Lawson is… a very different woman from the one I met two years ago."

"Yeah, Jack seems to be good for her. I guess a lot has changed." Miriam shrugged; she wasn't here to talk about Miranda and Jack's really loud fucking in the XO's quarters. Stepping back, she indicated the sitting area. "Would you like some wine?"

Liara smiled, setting Miriam's heat pounding. "Yes, please."

They settled on different couches, each sipping at a glass. Shepard could barely taste it.

"So…"

Liara chuckled, giving her an utterly familiar smile that sent her stomach clenching into knots. She was just so familiar, but had been so distant. Now she was easier, warmer, interested. But the pain was still there. But… it wasn't as painful now as it had been. And it didn't keep Shepard from wanting the asari back.

"You humans do love to make things awkward. Remember, I know how you're feeling about me right now."

Damn. Right. Pheromones. How did I get two women who can read me like a book? "Right… So easing into it is useless. Um… so, we said we'd talk."

"Yes," the asari agreed.

"I told you I've been… spending time with another woman."

"Yes. The short woman with orange hair who would not meet my gaze when I came aboard, correct?"

"Yes. Kelly." Shepard nearly had to physically restrain herself from correcting Liara with "red hair". "I…"

"I do not hold it against you, Miriam. I rebuffed you, knowing you are a woman who seeks comfort and intimate connection through sex."

Shepard's cheeks heated. She'd never had someone talk about these aspect of herself out loud, nor so bluntly. Am I really this transparent?

Miriam, she has been inside your fucking head.

Right.

"But the Collectors are defeated now, and I am… ready to see if we can piece our relationship back together."

Shepard put her glass down, making herself look into Liara's eyes, steeling herself for possibly hurting Liara. She hated hurting people. "Then you need to know everything. Are you ready to hear it all?"

Liara cocked her head to the side before carefully placing her half-drunk wine on the table. "Clearly there is more than I would have guessed. Yes. Please tell me. I miss you. I want to know you again."

Shepard made a frustrated sound, pushing away from her couch. "Fuck, Liara. Stop being so wonderful for a goddamn minute. Both of you are…" Pacing, she spoke without looking at the asari. "Kelly… was taken. The whole crew was taken. I had to go after them. I barely got them in time. I got Kelly out as they were about to fucking liquefy her. It… has a funny way of making you realize just how strong your feelings are, when you almost lose someone."

The room was silent for a while, but Liara finally said something, just as Miriam couldn't take it anymore. "You are in love with her? She is more than a passing dalliance?" Shepard nodded, scrubbing a hand over her face. "I see…" She made to get up. "I… will leave. I hope-"

"Liara, no!" Miriam finally turned, rushing to the asari and – as gently as she could – pushing her back into her seat. "I… I'm in love with her. And I'm in love with you. I feel like a totally jackass. But I'm also pissed. You hurt me, Liara! We weren't together, and I found someone else, someone kind and understanding who loves me, but then you and I kissed and I still can't get the feel of you out of my head. I love you! And I love her. I love you both." She hung her head. She thought getting that out would take more words, but there really weren't more to say.

Liara was quiet for a moment before asking, "Does she know all this?"

"Yeah. We had a good talk a few hours ago." And then we fucked. A lot. Thank God for the air filters and a fresh set of sheets. Her cheeks heated.

"And what did you discuss?" Liara's tone was clipped.

"We… decided that we wanna be together, but don't need to be exclusive."

Liara was quiet so long that Miriam had to turn away, couldn't even look at the asari's shoes anymore.

Fuck. I fucked up. I don't want to lose her. I got greedy. But I really do love them both. And Liara did hurt me. Fuck. What do I do? How do I salvage-

A hand on her shoulder interrupted her thoughts. Miriam turned to find Liara standing there, so close, her perfect indigo lips parted as she spoke. "I don't want to lose you again, Miriam."

Shepard shook her head. "I don't wanna lose you, either, Liara."

The asari nodded. "This… we can perhaps work on an arrangement. If you and she are willing, then perhaps I can be, as well. Because you are right: I pushed you away, with no explanation. I… will you meld with me? I want to feel you. And I want to see… all of it."

Shepard swallowed, feeling her body tremble in anticipation, and also dread. She wanted inside Liara's mind so badly it hurt, but… "Should we be intimate just yet?"

Liara's smile was slightly suggestive, but her words were not. Miriam was all kinds of confused. "I am asking for a knowledge meld only, Miriam. So that we can truly communicate our feelings."

Miriam's heart settled at that. "Oh. Yeah. Why didn't I think of that?"

Liara smiled her perfect half-smile. She didn't say anything more as her eyes filled to shining obsidian. Miriam could feel her, skirting around the edges, seeking permission, seeking entrance. Thought it had been some time, Shepard remembered how to give it, and it was with a sigh of relief that she accepted the asari inside her mind.

Hours later, as they lay naked and sweating in the commander's bed, the call button in her office started beeping and EDI's voice startled her from her half-doze.

"Commander Shepard, we have Admiral Steven Hackett on the comm line. It is marked urgent."

Shepard furrowed her brows. What could Hackett need from the traitor who allies with Cerberus? Looking upon the vast expanse of blue skin at her side, she sighed. It'll just take a minute. I'll answer it, and then get back to all this mess I somehow managed to straighten out.

A/N: If it isn't clear... yes, Shepard's going to go to the Bahak system and then into Alliance custody, thereby re-fucking everything here she'd managed to un-fuck. Sorry, folks!