Spoilers: Everything.
Disclaimer: Not mine, they are definetly in more capable hands... or heads, wathever.
Author's note: This is a monster! I originally started to write this around christmas, the five main parts wrote pretty much themselves while I listened to some songs, and then my muse decided to go on vacation and left me to fill the blank spaces, and what started like 4 or 5 pages turned out to be 13. I didn't post then because I didn't like the end and I wanted to read it again and make some changes, then I got kinda unmotivated (who knows why!) and let it go, then of course, the episodes happened and I wanted to make it fit into cannon (which I shouldn't even tried to do, it was impossilbe) and I ended up leaving my origianl ideas and they don't precisely fit into cannon (I don't like to go of cannon a lot), so I was really doubtful to post it, but I have already written it and then I watched like 15 minutes of Jacksonville and got really excited, so here it is. As I said before part of this fic was inspired by songs so I made a fanmix too, pretencious, right? But you can find it here, and if you are still here, reading, I'm going to beg you for a review, my last fic didn't turn out so well, and, well I'm begging here; so read and review, and enjoy!
**********
Errare humanum est
*********
I. ... for a lonely soul you are having such a nice time...
"You know, we should do this more often."
"What? Wash the dishes." Peter laughed while handing her a plate.
"Funny, but no. I was refering to dinner, or something else that doesn't imply a body in the room." Olivia put the now dry plate with the others in the kitchen cabinet carefullly. Peter caught a glimpse of her smilling. "Walter will love to cook for us everyday, you know, he likes to play host." Peter saw Olivia's pensive expression while he listened to the music coming from the living room.
"I thought it would feel weird, I mean, we spent so much time together at work at the lab that I thought it would be kinda of impositive, like we are attached to the hip or something." Peter smiled, the lines in his eyes becoming obvious, he looked at Olivia while drying his hands.
"Impositive? No. This, " he pointed around the kitchen shrugging his shoulders "feels normal, like what normal coworkers and friends would do after a day's work. Like family."
"Family." Olivia repeated the word, testing it. Both leaned on the kitchen sink, arms crossed, as if they were analyzing a crime scene.
"I know, it sounds weird, but..."
"No, I get it." They fell silent. "Next time I'll cook." Olivia walked out of the kitchen towards the living room.
"Are you leaving, Agent Dunham?" Walter asked from his seat on the floor, record in hand.
"Yes Walter."
"You are forgetting this." Peter handed her a paper bag that Walter had prepared earlier with leftovers of their dinner.
Olivia took it while walking to the door
"Thank you both, it was a great dinner. I'll see you tomorrow."
Peter saw her drive away throught the living room window while Walter changed the record.
Family. Home. Huh.
*********
II. He was mine, for five minutes I had a son.
"You know." Walter said as confirmation. Olivia had entered the lab fumming and screaming, demanding to know the truth, she really wanted it to be a lie, but Walter words confirme it. She felt like crying.
To anyone passing by, Walter would have looked like the sane person in the scene with that serious face and Olivia screaming at him.
"Who gave you the right to do this? Someone who experiments on children, who acts without thinking on the consequences. Who are you? What kind of monster are you?"
"Agent Dunahm, please, you need to calm down." Calm down? Was the man crazy? This changed everything, Peter... she didn't even know where to start.
"Olivia."
"Why Walter, why? How... how could you do that?"
"He was my son."
"He is not your son. You had no right."
"I know." He was silent for a long while, then sat down in one of the many chairs on the lab looking defeated, Olivia tried to calm down and sat too. She had figured out most of the story by now.
"Peter, my son, was so sick, he was dying and I couldn't do anything. When he... died... I... St. Claires was nothing compared with the desperation and grieve I had to face. My boy was gone, he was everything to me." Walter's eyes were so sad, so shiny. "I realized I had never fully appreciated my son, I wasn't there to play with him, to tell him how much I loved him, he died without knowing," the tears found its way to his cheeks and down; Olivia could only concentrate on the wet spot in Walter's lab coat, "I just did what any parent would do, everything to get my son back." Cross to another reality and start a war.
Olivia suspected it was exactly what the other side was doing, for the first time she saw the possibility that Walter was the culprit of all this mess.
"Walter..."
"I knew it was wrong, but I missed him so much." The tears kept falling. Olivia tried to understand, to make sense of all this madness. Walter dried his tears with the sleeve of his lab coat, he seemed pensive.
"You have a sister, yes?" Olivia nodded "and a niece. How would you feel, Olivia, if they suddenly were taken away from you? How would your sister would feel if her own daughter ceased to exist? How far would she go to have her back?"
Olivia saw images of Rachel without Ella, of Ella without her mother, of her without both of them, it was not real; she also remembered Rachel saying she would ran away with Ella if that's what it took to keep her, that's how far her sister would go for her daughter; then she wanted to imagine a Walter without Peter, a world without Peter. It was just a plain, simple, impossible thought.
"Everyone deserves a second chance, Olivia." She couldn't denied that.
"It still doesn't make it right."
"I know."
Somewhere a grave with Peter's name existed. No.
"I have to tell him."
"No, please, you can't."
"I have to."
"No." Walter fell silent again, his maniac expression replaced with grief, he looked deep into Olivia's eyes. "He would go, Olivia, he would leave us."
Right there and then Walter said the magic words: He would leave us. She wanted to give more credit to Peter, he would not ran away, it wasn't him anymore, he had changed, but she knew it was a possibility and she couldn't risk it, the office needed him, this unit needed him... she needed him.
She had lost so much by now and Peter had become a constant, her friend and pretty much the only person she had left.
She didn't notice the small droplets of water on her face until she buried her face on her hands; Walter still sitting in front of her. She was so afraid.
"Please, don't tell him."
"We can't keept this from him forever Walter."
"I know, but I need time, would you give me time, Olivia?"
They both heard the voices. Peter and Astrid were coming back, she panicked and looked at Walter, a plea in his eyes, she just nodded.
Selfish. Coward. He's gonna hate you. He'll never forgive you.
Peter and Astrid where laughing about something and carrying groceries.
"What's going on?" Astrid asked, Peter pretty much dropped the bags and ran to their side looking concerned at seeing Olivia's tears and Walter's shaking hand.
"What are you doing here? Are you ok?"
"Nothing happened son, I was just telling Agent Dunahm a story, not a happy one." Walter went towards Astrid and started looking inside the bags.
"Excuse me." Olivia practically ran to her office, closing the door behind her, she could hear Peter questioning Walter.
She tried angrily to dry the tears. This wasn't fair. Walter had screwed up their lifes and they both had to pay the price now. Peter would leave. She had just accepted not to say anything because she wanted to find a way to tell him herself. Damage containment, maybe she could find a way to make him stay, maybe he would stay for...
Olivia heard a knock at the door. "Olivia, are you ok? Can I come in?"
Family. Home. Huh.
"I'm okay, just give me a minute." She kept drying the tears angrily with her hands through the closed door. She tried to keep the tears at bay, but it was going to work for just a minute.
Peter waited no more and entered the office, he looked at her like he could see through her and right into her soul, he knew something was wrong.
"Olivia, what's wrong? Did Walter do anything to you?" He just erase my right to choose and stole your only chance of a normal life.
He was concerned about her, only she could tell him, only if she wasn't so selfish.
"No, he was telling me some story and... I remembered something. It is nothing, I'm okay."
He looked duvious. Peter approached her and lifted her face with his finger, his eyes, those blue eyes... she never cried. Olivia tried to avoid his eyes but he didn't let go until they were staring into each others eyes.
Where all that sorrow is coming from?
"I gotta go."
She pretty much ran out of the office, he didn't follow her.
**********
"Did I do something wrong?" Peter was leaning on her office door.
"What?" She looked up.
"Did I do something wrong? Lately it seems like you are avoiding me." He looked worried and angry. It would be so easy to tell him, right there, just tell him.
He would leave us.
"No." She tried with her most neutral expression, but she could tell Peter didn't buy it.
Just tell him Olivia
But he would leave.
"Okay. Do you wanna come over? Walter is making bolognese and we can wash the dishes after." He tried his best smile.
"Not tonight, I'm really tired."
"Okay." He left, but she knew he saw something in her eyes.
*********
III. ...For what is worth, I love you, and what is worst, I really do...
"Hello?"
"I told him Agent Dunham," Walter was weeping on the other side of the phoneline "and now I don't... I don't know where he is, where my son is, I, I..." Olivia heard the phone changing hands.
"Olivia," it was Astrid, "I don't know what happened, I was just coming in and Peter was leaving, he was screming at Walter" she made a pause, "Olivia, what's going on?". Olivia could still hear Walter mumbling and sobbing in the background. "Olivia?"
"Astrid, please take Walter home and keep and eye on him, I will find Peter."
It took her a while, a long one. She had checked aiports, train stations, any means of transportation hoping he wasn't already gone, Peter was nowhere to be found, and he wouldn't be stupid enough to end in a hospital. After talking to Broyles, leaving a lot of details out, she started to look in bars. She finally found him, almost, more like pretty much passed out.
The barman had tried calling her but Peter had tuned off his cellphone and not talking much.
"Peter, Peter, look at me."
He did look at her, but he didn't actually get to focus on her. His eyes were blodshot and glassy, with huge red lines under them. He was lost.
"Olivia?"
"Hey." Peter rose his hand slowly, shaky, and touched her cheek, the way he had done it at the hospital after her car accident, Olivia almost let out the tears she had been holding, he looked so lost.
"Let's take you home."
"I have no home, I don't belong here..." He got silent again.
"Could you stand up for me?" Olivia helped him up, he kept triping on the way to the SVU, he recked to alcohol. She tried taking him home, with Walter, but he kept saying "Not there, not home", and Olivia took him home.
Her home.
*****
They stumble at opening the door and walking to the bedroom; Olivia just intended to take off his jacket so he could lie down, but Peter lean into her, his expression full of agony, grief she had only seen on him at Walter being in danger, heartbroken...he kiseed her, she tried not to respond, to discourage him; this was not the way to deal with this, it would not help either of them, it would not calm the dissapointment and shame in the morning, it would not stop him from feeling betrayed, it would not stop him from leaving.
Peter felt her doubt and tried to reclaim her lips.
"Peter, no, this isn't right..." He looked at her again. Those blue eyes.
"Please, Olivia... give me a reason to stay."
She touched his face like he had done at the bar, the light of the living room reflecting in his eyes; "Everything it's going to be fine." And she kissed him again.
*****
She could feel him, around her, above her, inside her. She kept looking into his eyes, he was containing himself, stopping himself from totally undoing.
She touched the side of his head and kissed him, still looking at him, daring those eyes.
His face contorted in pain, a sob came from deep inside his chest, but he didn't stop. She could hear his sobs through their love making, she could feel the tears on her body. She clung to him.
He collapsed on top of her, still crying. His arms went around her holding her so hard she would have bruises in the morning.
It was heartbreaking.
She hold him in the darkness
They were so broken.
"it's okay, everything it's going to be okay."
*********
Olivia was the first to wake up, he was still dead to the world. It was early, too early maybe, but she couldn't sleep anymore, these were probably her last hours with him.
She watched him for a while; he didn't snore, he didn't move much or steal the blankets, this would have been perfect in another circunstances. The weight of the truth rested upon his shoulders even in his sleep.
She tentavely reached and touched his forehead, caresing his hair, he mumbled something and smiled relaxing his posture inmediately. Olivia cupped his cheek.
"I wish this would have happened in another moment, I wish I have told you how much you mean to me, how much I appreciate everything you did for me from the beginning, because from this moment on you are not going to believe a single word I say and no matter how hard I try, even if you say you forgive me, this would never go away, if someday I got you back this would always remind you that you should not trust me, I hope one day we can go past this, I hope one day you can trust me again." She pressed her lips to his forehead; two drops of water sliding down his face.
She made some calls; Astrid and Broyles to let them know she had found him, she would explain later, but they needed some time, Rachel and Ella, to see how they were doing, and Walter to tell him to wait for her at their house.
He slept through all of them and almost until noon when she felt brave enough, if not ready, to wake him up.
She sat on the edge of the bed and touched his hair, he opened his eyes slowly trying to figure out where he was, scanning the room with his eyes until they focused on her.
"'Hey."
"Hey." She handed him a cup of coffee, he took it with one hand while grabbing her wrist with the other, she didn't dare to move until he withdrew his hand and took a sip from the cup.
Olivia helped him to get ready for their day, they showered together, she scrubed his back while he stand there quietly, still in shock, she didn't say much, probably he took it as a sign that she was waiting until he was ready to talk, she just wanted to make the most of their time.
Peter let her help him shave and get dress, all of this felt terrible intimate and new, she again wished for better timing. They eat lunch at her kitchen table, half through his sandwich he started to talk, how Walter had told him, their fight. He looked at her a couple of times, she just listened dreading more and more the moment he realized she alredy knew.
When he finished talking she hold his hand just one more time and let go. "What do you want to do?"
"You don't seem terrible surprised." Olivia saw the expression past through his face, surprise, dissapointent, anger, wrath...
He was falling.
"You knew, you alredy knew." Peter leaned both hands on the table and looked down, there was a bitter taste on his mouth and a hole in his stomach. The silence on the kitchen was defeaning, she focused on the small stain Ella had made with a marker, Rachel hadn't been able to remove it.
"How did you know? Why didn't you tell me? Why?" She kept looking at the stain, he seemed to be containing his anger. Peter stood up and grabed her by the shoulders.
"Damn it Olivia, look at me! Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I listened to your father for once, he was right and I knew it, I was selfish." He was flushed and breathing heavily, his eyes a very different shade of blue, "Because I didn't want you to leave." He gave her a sarcastic smile.
"If you wanted that, sweetheart, you should have told me, not keep it from me." He let go of her and crossed the living room towards the door, Olivia could only see him getting farther. Peter grabbed the door handle.
"Goodbye Olivia."
She heard the door slaming after him.
*********
IV. ... Till now I always got by on my own, I never really cared until I met you...
She had explained Broyles; saying he was dissapointed because she handn't told him was more than an understatement, arrangements to keep Walter out of Saint Claire's were made, but his personal jail made him almost impossible to deal with, he spent most of his time drugged these days, remembering what he believed was his son, asking if he was coming back, Astrid and herself were a poor replacement for Peter, but they were trying, adjusting, all of them knew it will get worse before it get better and then... they really hope it will continue that way.
It had been a couple of weeks, Walter kept insisting that she would be able to convince him to stay, what he didn't know was what happened between them, she had already tried, she had actually called him but the number was already disconnected. It was senseless to just keep trying.
Broyles knew that something was coming, so Olivia had not the luxury of curling up into a ball and let her misery have her, which was good, the image kinda didn't match her.
She felt like the darkness in her bedroom was eating her whole, drawing her in realizing how far had she come to realy on him, how much of her lfe he had taken with him.
She had never cared, her being alone, it had been something to savor, Jhon had changed that, he had gone too soon and Peter had been there, and now, alone meant something so very different for her, she didn't like it anymore.
She laid on her bed holding his leather jacket still with his scent and waited for the morning to come.
*********
V. ... I was in the wrong place at the wrong time...
After what she assumed to be the first battle of many yet to come she found him on the house finally gattering his things; she walked slowly, uninvited and unwelcomed; the cane had come back, the bullet had gone through her hip, they were expecting permanent damage but the only thing she got was a lingering pain from Walter's procedure and this damn cane, temporarily, now she would have liked the memory lose too so she could claim she didn't know and get him to stay.
Walter was remarkably calm about the whole damn thing, now that some weeks had passed he still thought that the things Peter had found to tie him here for two whole years would be enough to hold him forever, and Olivia had wanted to give Peter the benefit of the doubt but they had all betrayed him, Peter had no more ties here.
He turned and looked at her in the eye, they both hold it and then let it go. Peter observed her cane but didn't comment. Olivia felt like she still got a chance to convince him to stay, pity at least, but she wasn't completely sure.
"What do you want?" He kept putting things inside his bag, clothes mostly, nothing more personal.
She limped inside his bedroom. "Nothing really, I just came to confirm my suspicion."
He laughed, not in the way she had come to known, something more sarcastic and un-Peter like, she knew she had lost him already but like her many character flaws she had to try.
"You don't have to leave." That stopped him.
"I know, but you know, I really don't belong here, funny how I always knew that." He had hurt and sadness in his eyes, Olivia came to know that what Peter said and felt where to completely different things, his eyes always betrayed him.
"I know I should have told you and an I'm sorry isn't going to change anything, but I'm sorry anyway, I shouldn't have kept it from you. You deserved better than that," the hand on her cane had started sweating "but I really need you to stay." She used her most FBI voice, the one she had used at Iraq, she had nothing else, this time there was no blackmail that would work.
Peter looked at her like she was crazy.
"You can stay, I'm assuming that wathever kept you from leaving before still applies, you don't need to leave Boston."
She was desperate and Peter could tell.
"That's the problem sweeheart," he put as much venom as he could in that single word, "my reasons, the answers I needed... I have them now, and I don't really care if you need me to stay, this is not my place anymore. It had never been."
He had finished packing; with the bag hanging from his shoulder Peter approached her deiberately using his whole height, he took the hand that was not on her cane and placed his credentials. Again, his eyes betraying his feelings.
He walked past her, before he got to the door she really asked what she had come to ask.
"Where are you going?" He stood at the door, neither of them moved.
"That's not your business."
"Are you going with them?"
No answer this time.
She turned to face him and let her cane drop to the floor.
"In that case, if you decide to fight along them Peter, on their side, then be prepared because I will never stop fighting and if I have to kill you to save my side, so be it."
She could see the tension in his shoulders; he faced her looking surprised by both her stament and the lack of her cane.
Did she really think he still was that kind of person?
I don't want to fight you. This is not like it is suppoused to be.
"I know you will. I'll consider myself warned."
Olivia heard him leave the house while she looked at the photograph in his credential.
*********
VI. ... I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding...
He got an aparment on the other side of the city, somedays he still asked himself why the hell hadn't he left town, it was not safe for him, it had never been, and he hadn't take the chance to run as far from this madness as he could, maybe it was the knowledge that no matter where he went the crap will be the same, that he knew they were at war and that he was a big part of the reason behind it, so it didn't make sense to leave town.
He had also got a new job, again, strangely enough he couldn't go back to do what he did before, so he had an honest job as a construction worker, the simplicity and normality of it sometimes drove him crazy, like he expected something weird to happen, it never did. He was far away from that world.
The apartment, more like a shack, on the last floor of the apartment building, with one window, allowed him to see the whole city, sunrise and sunsent, and it was horribly tidy, he hadn't bothered to imprint a personality to it. There was the bed and a night table with an old lamp, a couch, a table, a chair, the kitchen; it all had come with the apartmet.
It wasn't that he didn't have the money to rent something more "convenient", it was just that he didn't want to.
The first days it had been difficult to sleep, everything was too silent, nobody muttering downstairs or in the other room, no phone calls in the middle of the night, there was just... nothing.
The mornings were even worse. He always cooked breakfast now, it tasted bland without the company and the ocassional "surprise" in it, without the noise and nonsense chatter, without her sometimes lurking in the background, cup of coffee in hand.
He tried to pick up a girl once at a bar, but he really was not into it; he felt like he was cheating in some way. He tried once more with a very willing drunk blonde executive in a suit. He felt nothing as he kissed her. Who is Olivia, she asked, and he left.
He couldn't believe she was his only reason to stay. It was too sentimental for him, to stupid and out of charater, but deep down he knew that this cases, this life he had known and abandon weren't the only thing keeping him here.
He was like a torn book, coming apart from the bonding.
Days off where the worst, he had time to do everything, instead he did nothing. Breaksfast was still bland and most of the time it ended on the trash can or smeared on the wall. Coffee never tasted the same. He liked to watch through his window the sunset and walk the city at night, most of the times he ended in her neighborhood.
He saw her twice: the first with the whole entourage, she looked so pale and thin, Walter didn't even seem to understand where they were, Astrid looked exhausted.
For a moment she looked in the direction where he was standing, he could swore she saw him by the thing she did with her mouth, but he could not be sure. He could hear his heart pounding and almost getting out of this chest, a sudden urge to go with them, to run towards them. He belonged there. Not even the sight of Walter made him doubt that.
The second outside a licor store, bottle in hand while talking on the phone, she seemed thiner, sadder, her shoulders hunched... maybe it was only wishful thinking, or maybe she really needed him as bad as he needed her.
**********
VII. ...Couldn't live without you when I tried to roam...
Olivia looked at the passenger seat of the SUV.
Empty.
A second later Walter came out of the house and got on the car. On the passenger seat.
"Are we leaving, Agent Dunham?"
She just couldn't start the car, Walter noticed her disconfort, with a frunge he looked at the seat sadness in his face.
"I miss him too Olivia." Walter put a hand on her shoulder before steping out and climbing onto the back seat.
**********
"Here is your bill." His usual waitress, a blue-eyed brunette, slipped the small paper across the table. This time it had her phone number.
Peter smiled at her and slipped a twenty-dollar bill.
"So, tell me..."
...Massive Dynamic personal were called to the scene, apprently they will help with the on going investigation that left two federal agents dead and one at the hospital...
He turned to watch the imagine at the TV and saw blond hair on a gurney.
*********
"There you go." The male nurse handed him the medical chart.
Peter flipped through it; a graze to the forehead from a bullet, another one had gone throug her left forearm, no permanent damage, she will have to wear a sling for a couple of weeks though, a pair of bruised ribs, low levels of calcium, anemia. Hospitalized for a night observation. Room 42.
Of course, she would never allow to stay more than one night.
"Thanks." Peter returned the nurse the chart and twenty dollars.
It was past midnight and he was almost out of the hospital, but his feet just decided no to move. He felt so stupid trying to deny the fact that he wanted to see her, that he needed to see her. He turned and retraced his steps.
The hallway to the forth floor was empty, which was normal considering the hour, the image on the TV screen just wouldn't let him sleep.
Peter approached her room, hiding from the nurses. The room was dark, the constant beeping of monitors and the night light allowed him to see her face even from the door; he entered the room slowly arfaid to wake her up, he stood next to the bed; the bruise was on her right eye as was the graze of a nine milimiters, her left arm on a sling.
Had it been different if he had been there?
He brushed her left cheek with the back of his heard a snore from the other side of the room.
Walter asleep, with a pudding in hand watching over her.
"You can't be here, sir. Visiting hours ended a while ago." He turned to the door to face a very angry looking nurse, he walked past her mumbling an apology.
You can stay, I'm assuming that wathever kept you from leaving before still applies, you don't need to leave Boston.
*********
VIII. ...Well, I'm not a kid anymore...
Green street hadn't change a lot since his childhood; the trees were pretty much the same and he knew the house hadn't changed at all.
He could hear the tinny tinkle of the ice cream truck: an anthem of summer and childhood, the kids ran pulling their parents by their little chubby hands, it reminded him of himself and Walter, on the rare ocassions he had been here at the beginning of summer before they went to the Raiden Lake house, of whale pancakes, the huges they sometime shared before bedtime, of kisses in the middle of the night when he got home from Harvard. The good times. He could denie it all he wanted, but undeniabily there had been good times, moments where he never second guessed his father's love for him.
How could they do this to him? He had refused to care for so long. He just wanted to belong somewhere, to someone, to fit in, he just wanted to feel loved and protected. He had achieved all that here, with them.
It wa summer now, a few months had gone by, Olivia was at the hospital and he still didn't know what to make of his newfound information, he didn't like to dwell to much about it, and everytime he did it he ended up drunk. Had it been out of love? Did Walter just wanted a replacement? Did he love him for who he was or was he still longing for his lost son? Was he any different from those parents buying cones for his kids, trying to make their kids happy? Had he really made something so wrong reaching out to another dimension to get his son back?
Here, in the middle of green street, outside their old house he still didn't know.
**********
IX. ...Innocent, innocent, It was no sin, It left me with so much to prove...
Eight months, sixteen days and four hours later, after her graze with death and his phone call they finally met in Harvard, next to the lake. He was not surprised at her black eye and her sling, he controled his hand before it could reach her shoulder for comfort.
They were facing the lake, the chilly afternoon had made them both were their winter jackets, the sun was setting down.
They sat on a nearby bench, she had brought coffee, a peace offering, his was still on his hands, hers lied already forgotten between them. The proverbial white elefant in the room. She didn't even know where to start.
"I am sorry, Peter, I... I'm sorry." It sounded so stupid but it was the only thing she could say.
"I know," he brought the cup to his mouth and drank the still hot liquid, "but you were right," he finally turned and looked at her, "I left," Peter looked up to the sky, it was getting dark, he could alreay see some stars, "I was angry, at Walter, at you, I needed time, I needed to understand, Walter did what he did out of love, it was wrong but he made and honest mistake, so did you."
You are not the only one with painful secrets.
He was no saint either
"Still, it doesn't make it right what we did to you."
"I know, but you didn't actually do nothing wrong and I can't honestly say I wouldn't have done the same. What is done, is done" Peter made another pause placing his coffee on the grass "I have a condition, though."
Olivia refused to let hope fill her-
Anything.
"Whatever happens from now on, no matter how painful or horrible is, you would never keep something from me again. Never."
"Okay." Olivia didn't hesitate at saying it, looking into his eyes. "Are you staying?" she was afraid, so afraid to ask, but she needed to know if she had irrevocably damaged... this.
"Yes, I'm staying." Olivia turned looking anywhere but him. "My reasons, what made me stay in Boston, still apply. I still need answers, there is still a war coming and wether I like it or not I'm part of it, I just can't ignore that, running is not going to work this time, and..." Peter made a long pause and said in a whisper, "Walter is here, you are here."
Olivia still couldn't look at him, Peter straigtened on the bench and cleared his throat.
"I cannot go back to live with him, I'm not there yet, but I want to be here."
"I can arrange that." Her voice sounded weird.
Peter looked at her, she was still looking the other way.
So many things had come to him in those months, Olivia and his feelings towards her where some of the things he still had to work on, but he was sure.
He reached out and placed his finger under her chin and slowly turned her face towards him. She was crying, her eyes full of never ending tears, he placed his hand on her cheeck and she leaned onto his touch.
Don't you ever leave me again.
"It's okay, everything it's going to be okay."
His hand slid down, Olivia caught it before it could touch the bench. They hold each other hands.
*********
I pray You learn to trust
Have faith in both of us
And keep room in Your heart for two
*********
The end