"Ode to a Tree"
-Vx Tao Ren xV
Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King. Enough said.
Author's Note: I have no idea what this fic will turn out like. ::sighs:: I started to write this during my math test on Friday, and I have no idea where I was going with the idea X.x.. Needless to say, this is a TOTAL one-shot. Okay.. this is supposedly HoroxRen in Horohoro's P.O.V. … or at least it was when I started X.x.. I'm not even sure why I started writing this, since I'm currently obsessed with Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters a bit more than Shaman King.. but oh well. Yeah.. if this sucks, please don't flame.. if you like it.. wow. Anyways.. On with the madness!!!!
***
"Ode to a Tree"
I sigh.
What the hell am I doing here anyway?
Why the hell do I feel like this?
Why the hell am I talking to myself?!?!
"Argh!!".. I find myself slamming my head against the trunk of a tree that I was previously leaning against. I'm not quite sure why.. but I just am.
"What-the-hell-is-wrong-with-me?!" I'm not hitting my head against the said tree in intervals.. Again, I'm not sure why.
I've been feeling a bit.. err.. off.. lately. It's strange.. because it's not like I haven't felt this way before. But before, it was only for a second or two.. now.. now it's all the time. Everytime I'm in a Shaman Fight, eveytime I argue, everytime I'm.. well.. awake.
Aghhh!!! I think I'm still hitting my head on the tree. It's a good thing no one is around..
"What on earth are you doing?"..
Damn.
I guess someone was around. I turn to see who it was. Though I pretty much knew by the tone of voice. Just my luck.. it was him..
Why of all people, did it have to be him. The one person who would never understand my confusion, and who was the sole cause of it to begin with. Why the hell did it have to be him who saw me repeatedly hitting my head against a tree.
"What the hell are you staring at me for?!?!"
Damn.
I've been staring at him, haven't I?.. Yup, I have. And I think he's pretty pissed about it too.
"Whatever. I'm leaving. I didn't come here to get stared at by some brain-dead Ainu."
I'm still staring at him. Damn..
Wait.. what did he just say? He's.. leaving?..
"No! Wait!!"
Did I just say that out loud? No.. I yelled that out loud.
Shit.
Needless to say, he stopped. And turned his head to look at me.
"So.. care to enlighten me with the revelation dawned upon you by continuously slamming your head against a tree?.. or are you just gonna sit there and stare at my face like you've been doing for the past 5 minutes?"
5 minutes?!?! I've been staring at him for 5 minutes?!?!? 5 whole minutes?! Damn it! What the hell is wrong with me?!?!?
".. Ri~ght.. I'm going now."
What the hell?!?!
"N-No! Wait!"
Great. I think I just pissed him off even more. He's looking pretty mad right about now.
"Look! If you want to say something to me, say it already! I don't have time for this!"
"Ugh.. err.."
Great. The one time I have to confront him about my problem.. I'm stuttering like a God damned fool!
"Grr…"
He's growling from impatience and is tapping his foot. If I don't say something, then he's gonna leave.. again. Ughhh!!! Why can't I say anything?!?!?
"You know what! Forget it!"
He's turning to leave.. yet again. Come on! This is the one time that you can clear your mind and find out why you've been feeling like you have! Come on!.. Damn it! Say something! Anything!
"Aishiteru!!!"
.. Gre~at… I just had to say that.. didn't I.. I think I was better off hitting my head against the tree for the rest of the day.
I look at him. Well, he didn't leave at least. Then again, he wasn't really.. moving… much. I think he may be twitching a little. Maybe not..
"What… did you just say…?"
"Uhmm… Aishiteru?"
"This isn't a joke you moron! What the hell would posses you to say that?!"
Nice job.. now he's freaking out. Wonderful day, isn't it?
"Well… umm.. I said it because it's true.. at least.. I think it is.."
"What do you mean you think it is?"
"Well, I've been feeling a bit.. weird.. around you lately. Okay, it's happened before… but not this much. It's well, weird. I can't stop thinking about.. err.. you. Every damn Shaman Fight, every damn argument, and every damn waking moment.. I'm thinking about you.. And I don't even know why!"
"…"
Way to go. You're talking like you don't give a damn about him. Great way to follow up on that outburst, Horohoro.
"Wait.. don't get me wrong. It's not like I don't care about you.. I mean.. well.. er.."
You're stuttering again…
I take a deep breath, and try to calm down a bit..
"Look.."
I close my eyes, trying to avoid eye contact with him, so that I won't get side tracked and start stuttering again.. so that I can actually say what I want to.
"… lately, I've been getting really.. warm.. feeling when I'm around you. Before, I hated you.. then I envied you.. now.. I think that stepped up a little. I've been trying to figure out why you've been on my mind a lot, why I can't stop thinking about you.. but I think I know why, at least now I think I do."
I exhale.. now that wasn't so bad, was it? I open my eyes to see his expression.
He speaks.
"I'm not quite sure what to tell you. Except.. why me?"
"Uhm.. well, before I just envied you. Ya know.. because of your power I guess. I admired how you never.. uh.. waivered, as you would say. You were strong, you knew it.. and you made sure everyone around you knew it too. I dunno why I would envy you for that. In the beginning, I thought you were an arrogant, egotistical, asshole for it."
"Oh.. that's encouraging.."
"Sorry… it's just.. lately, that err.. well.. because you do that, I start to believe that you can handle everything… that I don't even have to worry about anything.. because you were strong.. because you could handle it. And because of that, I put all of my faith in you."
"…."
He just looks at me…
I lean my head on the tree and look at the clouds while I continue.
"I think that's why I went insane when you, well, died. Because I put all my faith and beliefs in you, when you died, I lost everything. But when you came back, I started feeling a bit.. differently about you. I started noticing things about you that I never did before."
I turn my attention back on him.
"Did you know that you squint your eyes a tiny bit when you give a sort of caring expression? And that sometimes you smile in your sleep?"
He's glaring at me now.
"You watch me sleep?"
Wait—I said that, didn't I? Gre~at.. now he thinks you're an obsessed psycho-stalker.
"N-No! I mean.. sometimes I can't sleep at night, and well you know.. we share a room because we're on the same team and stuff.. and.. uhm.. sometimes I see you smiling.. uhmm.."
I look down at the ground, and I can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks.
"Oh…"
He sits down and leans against the tree… staring at the sky.
I continue.
"And I guess… ever since you died I mean.. I've worried that you'd well.. die again.. so I guess I watched you to look over you or something. I'm not quite sure why myself… and I think all of that eventually led to well.. you know"..
I'm staring at the ground again.
"Why are you telling me all of this?"
"I dunno. I wasn't even sure if I.."
Why am I avoiding that word?.. Am I ashamed of it..? Sure it's a bit.. weird.. but.. Aww.. to hell with it all.
"..If I loved you.. or not.. so I came here to think it out. I don't even know if I was ever going to tell you.. but ya know.. you were here and saw me.. hitting my head on the tree.."
"Yeah… I was wondering why you were doing that.."
I turn to look at him.. I think I may be blushing.
"You were?"
He's stuttering.. just realizing what he just said..
"N-Not like that!"
"Oh.."
I look down at the ground yet again.. a bit disappointed.
He notices.
"It's just that not every day you see someone ranting while continuously bashing their head against a tree like that! It's not normal!"
"Yeah.. I guess… I just got frustrated 'cuz I couldn't figure out what the feelings that I had about you were.. but now I'm glad that you showed up.. since I told you.. I understand now.. thanks."
I smile at him.. I can tell that he's a bit confused and uncomfortable by the whole situation..
"Uhmm.. you're welcome.. I guess.."
"Hey.. what were you doing here anyway?"
he never really got to that part.. and I was wondering from the start.
"Neesan was talking to me about why I haven't got a girlfriend or some crap like that.. I just needed to get out of the hotel and clear my mind I guess.. then I find you hitting your head against a tree.. and telling me about how you love me.. ironic turn of events, isn't it?"
I can't help but laugh. He was right.. it was ironic.. and extremely funny.
"It's not that funny, you know.."
"I know..".. I calm down a bit and look into his eyes. Damn he's got beautiful eyes.. it's not every day you meet someone with golden eyes, ya know..
Now he really looks uncomfortable.. I don't care. I approach him a bit..
"Oi! What are you do—"
The next thing I know… My lips are pressed against his.. wait—I'm kissing him? Yup.. sure am..
Damn his lips are sweet.. weird… I savor the moment… for a good 30 seconds, at most.
I slowly move away.. now I know.. now I really understand my feelings.
He looks, well.. funny really, but he's pretty much petrified, bewildered, is blushing a bit.. and wide-eyed… quite amusing, actually.
I look at him for a bit then approach him again.. and whisper something in his ear.
"Aishiteru… Tao Ren…"
I get up.. and start walking away.. leaving him there.. not looking back..
…now I know…
***
Owari!
Wow! That came out really well.. for a complete and total one-shot that I started at 10 at night on a Sunday.. ::looks at clock:: And it only took me an hour and a half to write! That's a record for me.. I think. I'm so proud of myself!... well, okay it still kinda sucked.. especially the title X.x… but still..
Anyway, sorry for the extreme lack of narrative… but I think you understood it all, right? At least I hope you did. And it wasn't totally angsty! Wow! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it.. I had a bit of a hard time at some points.. but it's all good ^_^.. Reviews would be greatly appreciated!
Oyasumi Minna!