I fell into a comfortable silence, not with anyone, but with myself. There was finally a moment in time where my mind wasn't running in circles of thought that lead me nowhere but further into the never ending creases in my mind. It was a blankness I never knew existed, and in perfect moment, nothing mattered. For the time being, that was all that I was focused on. There was no worrying about what I had to do, what the future held, what people were going to do, just a blissful nothing. Until everything came crashing back into the forefront of my mind. This was going to be home number twenty one.
I took a deep breath before I knocked on the door of my new home. I closed my eyes, trying to make the tears at bay, I was not wanted anymore by anyone. So why did they keep trying? They keep putting me into these houses where I don't belong, just because my parents cannot take care of me but they can take care of their own adopted kid. It was useless, I couldn't even make a friend before I was shipped off to another place, another home, another family I wasn't actually a part of. I don't know how much more I could take of this. My thoughts were interrupted by the door opening.
"Isabella?" A woman in her mid-thirties with dark brown hair that fell just past her shoulders in waves and kind hazel eyes opened the door.
I nodded, and gave a small, fake smile. The woman's face brightened and she ushered me through the door.
"I am so glad you made it here safely! I was worried when they said that you had a different way to get here, we wanted to pick you up from the train station when you arrived." She said happily.
"Thank you, but you can call me Bella." I replied quickly not in the mood for conversation.
"The trip was long right? Here I will show you to your room. You can get settled in and I will call you down for dinner. Alright?" She asked.
"That sounds perfect, thank you." I replied following her up the stairs and to a room that had bright pink walls, pink bedding, and dark wooden furniture. A room that looked like it was made for a young girl who still thinks she will grow up to be a princess. Not a room made for a 16 year old girl, who has never been able to believe that she could be one. My new foster mother left without another word. She descended down the stairs as I closed the door behind me. I looked for a dresser and dragged my bags over to it so I could unpack the meager amount of clothing and material items from my duffle bag and backpack.
When I was finished I laid down on the bed and thought of what might happen in the next few hours. I would see the woman's true colors and find out if I was going to be treated like garbage, treated like I was invisible, or treated with respect and as if I was a normal person. I weighed my options and wagered on being treated like I was invisible. I looked around the room once more and I could not help the small almost smile creep upon my face. This was once the room I dreamed of having as a child growing up in group homes.
I was always the outsider of my family and I can't remember why because I was so young. I was ignored by my parents, and soon they adopted a child who was a year older than I was and were expecting a baby as well. It was after they announced that my mother was pregnant that she asked if I would go on a walk to the park with her and I jumped at the opportunity. She didn't want to spend alone time with me often. She held my hand and for the first time in a long time I felt like I was a part of her family again. I felt that way until we got to the park, where she let my hand go and told me to go play. I went over to the swing set and that's when she told me not to move until she got back. The last thing I ever said to her was, I love you.
It's a hard lesson to learn as a toddler that just because you love someone, doesn't mean that they will love you back. Even someone who is supposed to love you unconditionally. I waited on that swing for several hours after she had walked away. I didn't leave until a police officer came over and took me away from the park, crying out that my mom was coming back. Fortunately the police officer took me into the station and found a place for me to stay while he asked questions about my family and what happened.
It was later when I found out that my birth mother remarried when I was a newborn. She and her new husband were completely in love, but I was always a reminder of the past she wanted to leave behind. In a distant dream I kept holding on to the thread of hope that my real father would want me or at least try and find me. Those thoughts allow me to drift off to sleep at night. The possibility of someone who might actually care about my well-being. I don't know what happened to her, but I do hope that she faced some sort of consequences for abandoning me in a park left for anyone to find or take.
Breaking out of my darker thoughts, I was called downstairs for dinner. I smiled when the smell drifted through the corridors of the house. When I made it to the kitchen I was greeted with a warm hug.
"I made chicken with grilled onions and peppers. Is that alright?" My foster mother asked pulling me by the hand into the dining room.
"Sounds great." I replied truthfully.
A smile graced its way onto her face and for a little while I allowed myself to think that maybe I had lost my own bet.
"Let me introduce you to everyone." She turned around and ushered me into the room. "This is Harold, my husband," She said pointing to a middle aged, balding man standing in the middle of the room. I waved lightly and smiled.
"This is Jasper, my son, He is around your age." She then pointed to a boy sitting at the table, he looked slightly older than I, but looks can be misleading. He had dirty blond hair and blue eyes. He smiled kindly in return for my wave.
"Next to him is Alice, Jasper's girlfriend." She made hand motions to a small pixie like girl, bouncing in her chair that was placed right next to Jasper. She had black hair cut short, and Amber eyes.
"It's so nice to meet you! We are going to be great friends! I can tell!" Alice gushed.
If I was being completely honest, it was nice. Being with this new family, in this new house, and for the first time in a while someone offered me friendship.
"Isabella you can call me Mary, I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier when we met. How rude of me." Mary chided herself.
"Thank you for taking me into your home. Please call me Bella." I requested. I got nods in return from everyone in the room and smiled a real smile in return. I knew it was wrong to get my hopes up, but I really hoped that this would be the last home I would be in.
*(*)*
After dinner Alice accompanied me to my room and sprawled on my bed.
"Bella? Can I ask you something?" She asked, breaking the comfortable silence that once filled the air.
"Mhmm." I said in agreement,
"How many homes have you been in? I hope that's not to personal or anything! I understand if you don't-" I cut her off by responding
"21." A short gasp came from her lips. "I have been in foster care since I was 3 and a half. It is only to be expected right? The good thing was I almost got adopted a couple times. I almost had a family a few times."
"Bella, why weren't you adopted?" She asked warily, though I wasn't sure if it was because she was afraid of me, or my reaction to the question.
"They always dropped me at the end. Either found another child they wanted or they didn't want a girl who had a foster care record like mine. Or a more energetic child, or a happier one, or a prettier girl. They want a stabilized child that didn't get tossed around. I just didn't end up fitting into their visions of the perfect family. It could be anything really. You kind of get used to it after a while. 13 years in this system and you kind of have to." It was nice talking to Alice. We had this sort of invisible bond that formed throughout the night.
She got off the bed and walked towards me, dropped onto the bed beside me and hugged me, "I am so sorry Bella."
Those words were enough to send a few tears down my cheeks. I blushed realizing how much I was letting down the walls I built for so long. I knew I probably would be sent back in a few days, and I would leave Alice behind. It was inevitable, but I hoped that maybe we could still be friends when it happened.
Maybe, just maybe, they will let me stay for a while.
*(*)*
That night I fell into a restless sleep. I was starting a new school all over again and that is a worthy enough reason to feel like my heart was jumping out of my chest and into my throat. Another personal hell for Bella.
I got up, got dressed in one of my only outfits which consisted of jeans, a sweater, and my worn out grey converse. When I had finished getting ready for school, I walked into the kitchen where cinnamon toast and an apple awaited me on the table. I hummed in appreciation and quickly ate so I could head out. Mary greeted me and even offered to drive me to school since I didn't have a car and there was no bus system in Forks, Washington. Jasper sat in shotgun, while I watched the scenery out the backseat windows. Even though it was overcast and looked like it was about to rain, this town was beautiful.
When I got to my new school, I was surprised. It was a lot different then what I expected. I got out of the car, thanked Mary and wandered around trying to find the office for my schedule. Luckily enough the sign was near where Mary let us out and close enough that I didn't have to embarrass myself and ask Jasper for directions.
The office was in a drab grey concrete building and when I opened the office door was greeted with my face slammed into someone's chest. I backed up, apologized quickly and walked around the person. I knew that not making eye contact or looking anywhere near who I just bumped into was my best option. I walked over to the secretary and told her my name.
"Hello, I am the new student. Isabella. I believe I might be under Bella Port, here." The secretary nodded, knowing the situation. I guess someone filled her in beforehand that I was being fostered by the Port family.
She gave me all of my information and a map of the school. When I left the office I saw Alice with Jasper and a few other people. Alice waved me over and started jumping up and down. Once I got close enough I was hugged and bombarded with questions about my schedule.
"What's your first period Bella?!" The manic pixie asked.
"Trig." I answered.
Alice's face brighten up as she yelled, "Me too!"
I felt people staring at me so I looked up and around the hall while blushing. My eyes landed on the three people standing around Jasper, Alice, and I.
"Umm, hi? I'm Bella..." Jasper cut me off.
"She is my little sister that just got back from studying abroad." Jasper told them.
My eyes widened. His little sister? My eyes got a little misty at the sweet lie he told for me. Alice grabbed my hand and squeezed in support.
"Yup, Isabella Port. The new meat." Alice giggled.
"Nice to meet you Bella. I'm Edward." I looked at him and the first thing I saw was his eyes. They were gold with little hints of green floating in them. He was beautiful.
"Hi." I replied. My voice a little shaky.
He smiled, actually it was more of a cocky grin. "We met in the office. At the door?" My eyes widened and I blushed.
"Oh. Sorry." I squeaked out.
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