There was a party.
It was Blaise Zabini's birthday and he invited all 6th and 7th years to come and celebrate with him. Although everyone was still wary about mixing with other Houses, especially mixing with Slytherins, people seemed to forget rationality when free flowing booze was mentioned. The Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs just made sure they practiced their hexes beforehand and placed their wands within easy reach. One can never be too sure, really.
So that night about a hundred people were jammed inside the Slytherin Common Room. The party was raging! It was one o'clock in the morning and it showed no signs of stopping. People were getting drunk and dancing and partying like there was no tomorrow. Everyone was there to witness this party that was sure to go down in Hogwarts history!
That is, everyone except a lone girl back in her dormitory.
She was at the party having a blast. She enjoyed the food, enjoyed dancing with Ginny and Luna. She even allowed herself to drink a glass or two of firewhiskey. It was her first time and it burned like mad but she really was trying her best to unwind and have fun. Well in truth, she was really just trying to drink so as not to think about the thing, the being, that… wizard who was occupying her thoughts.
She tried flirting with other boys to no avail. It didn't come as a shock to her that boys are intimidated with her extensive knowledge of things. She reminded herself to shut up and dumb herself down the next time but she still failed. Apparently, her playing it dumb and giggling at everything they say creeps the boys out. She needed a distraction from what she has been noticing all night.
It was that boy's fault. He had the most enchanting eyes she had ever seen. He was smart, handsome, charming and most importantly, sweet and kind when he chose to be. He was the only boy she knew who she could hold an intelligent and interesting conversation with. They had been bunked in the same dormitory for a couple of months now. What started out as pure loathing turned into civility and then for her, turned into attraction, admiration and now, adoration. She desperately tried to shun her feelings but again, to no avail. Stupid bouncing ferrets aren't very easy to forget, so she learned.
He had been flirting with random girls all night. He hopped from one witch to another, offering them drinks, offering them food, winking at them, smiling at them, dancing with them and sometimes even groping them. It was disgusting but she, oh how pathetic she was, wished with all her heart, soul and mind that it was her he was doing all those to.
Eventually, she gave up. The heart can only take so much, apparently. She put down her second glass of firewhiskey (it really did burn), excused herself from the people she was talking to and left.
And this was where we found her – huddled under her covers, heart heaving in pain and tears streaming down her face.
She was cursing herself. She hated that she let him affect her this much. She hated that ever since she realized she felt this way for him. She had allowed him to bring out this pathetic side of her. She had allowed him to strip her off her rationality and sense.
She was still beating herself up on the inside when she heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He was probably back from his partying. She begged all the gods that he didn't bring anyone back up with him. Torture. It would be complete torture if she had to hear them get hot and steamy through the wall.
Groaning to herself, she pulled a pillow over her head to stifle any other sound – just in case her worst fears were to come true.
"Hermione?"
She stiffened in her position.
"Oh come on, Hermione, I know you're awake. I heard you groan when you heard me in the hallway." He sat on the foot of her bed, facing her back.
She was still in too much shock to process what was going on. That was why she couldn't and didn't speak.
He sighed. "Fine. Don't talk then. Which is good cause I really need you to listen. I have something I need to say."
Her eyes widened. Her heart was fleetingly filled with hope. She prayed again to all the gods to be kind to her. She waited.
"I HAD THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE, GRANGER!" He exclaimed, slapping the bed in excitement. "I scored so many times tonight! You WOULD NOT believe how many girls I got to dance with! I even got to grope this 6th year student. She wasn't much of a looker but over time, I'm sure her body will develop oh so nicely. The way she was ogling me, bloody hell! I could see her fantasies by just watching her watch me!"
Hermione shut the world out towards the middle of his raving. She wanted to hex him into oblivion. No wait, she wanted to hex herself for feeling this way towards the most insensitive and arrogant bastard in the whole world – muggle and Wizarding. Tears were forming in her eyes again yet he still kept speaking.
"—had no idea what she was getting into! I mean, I was a little tipsy then but I just know that at the end of the night, I was the envy of every wizard in that party. The way those girls yearned for me, man, that was really something. Blaise is a genius for planning this out! Oh and there was this one girl who – "
She had had enough. She spoke up, "I don't really wanna hear all this, Draco."
He laughed. "Oh come on Herms, no need to be such a prude! Don't you wanna know how I landed the brunette with the really huge – "
"Draco!" She almost shouted, still huddled under her covers and hidden under her pillow. "I would really appreciate it if you just shut up!"
He was surprised. He frowned and got irked. "I listen to you tell me about house elves and magical creatures who aren't being treated fairly. I don't get why you are too bloody excited about new parchment and quills but I let you talk all afternoon about those bloody things and now that I want to tell you something that really cheered me up, you shut me up?"
She sighed. "You don't get it."
"I don't get what?" His voice was getting louder. He was getting frustrated.
"Nothing. Forget about it. Please, do tell me more about tonight's conquests." She said, thick sarcasm laced with every word.
"What the hell is your problem? You're ruining my evening." He said slowly, but there was something in the way he said it that seemed to say that he really wanted to know what was wrong.
She sighed, tears now falling again down her face. "Nothing, okay? Just… forget I said anything."
He sighed sounding very exasperated. "You're testing my patience, Granger."
"Huh, back to Granger now?" She said, hurt in her voice. She was hating herself for this display, by the way. It was not like her to be so weak and vulnerable. It was never like her to show Draco Malfoy that she was quite the weakling.
He was massaging his forehead and temples now. He really was confused. He didn't know what on earth her problem was. Here he was, finally cheery about something after all those months and here she was, shutting him up. "Hermione?" He looked at her small shape, curled under the sheets, back still turned from him. "Hermione?" Silence.
"Hermione, look at me. I am talking to you." He moved closer to her, pulled the pillow of her head and made her face him. He saw tearstains down her cheeks and he breathed in. Seriously, what was wrong with her?
She was not prepared for this. She did not know he would pull her up and make her face him. They were merely inches from each other and he was staring at her face. She turned away. "You really don't get it."
"Don't get what?" He was still looking at her.
"All of this. Everything."
"Hermione, you're confusing the life out of me. Will you stop speaking in codes and just say what you're really trying to say?" His voice was rising again. This time he was really angry. He wanted so bad to understand what was going on.
She sighed. She was going to break. She could feel it. She fought back the tears. She bit her lip so that he wouldn't see it quiver. They were silent for what felt like forever.
He was first to crack. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her and said slowly and clearly, "What is your problem?" This time he paused after every word. He was tired of what she was playing. Silence still. She showed no signs of breaking. After a while, he released her from his grip and turned away.
"Gods, Hermione, you really did it now. You really ruined my evening. Are you happy now? I should have stayed in that party, I could have avoided this idiotic conversation we're having, which is NOT a conversation seeing as I'm the only one actually talking." He was pulling his hair now in frustration. "I wish I just brought back that brunette from the party." That last part he said in an almost whisper.
That was when she finally broke. "You don't get it! You really don't! You're a bloody idiotic ferret, you know? All you ever think about is yourself! Your feelings! Your wants! Your needs! You never even bother to think of how the people around you feel! If you only took one blasted second from your seemingly perfect life you would have gotten it! You would have understood! You would have known!"
"Known what?"
"I'm in love with you, you stupid, selfish and arrogant ferret! I have been since that stupid day when you stopped calling me 'mudblood' and started treating me like an actual human being. I have been since you let me borrow your coat during one of our rounds because I was cold. I have been since you called me 'Hermione'. I have been since you stopped looking at me in disgust and anger. And I have been the dumbest and most idiotic fool for letting myself feel this way when it's just so obvious that you will never ever look at me the way I look at you. I am a classic fool for loving the one I can never be with!"
Silence. Complete silence.
She gasped at the words that came out of her mouth. She had been holding all of that in for months now and when it came out, she just was not able to get a hold of herself. She did not dare look at him for fear of the worst. Instead, she just muttered, still fighting back tears, "Please go away, Draco", and buried herself under her covers and pillows again.
The last thing she heard was her door slam shut.
The only thing he heard were muffled sobs.