Rise of the Phoenix
Prologue
For humans, twelve years is a sixth of their life gone before they know what's happened. The first years of childhood past by so fast that before they know it, they are teenagers and dealing with the challenges and pitfalls that come with that. The teenage years are gone long before they have time to blink and by the time the second twelve years has gone by, the humans are now mid-twenties and expected to mature and settle down, putting aside all the wilderness of their youth and plant roots. Yes, twelve years is a long time for a human, too many to lose or waste in any way, shape or form.
Twelve years for an Asgardian, or any other being from the Nine Realms (excepting Midgard of course) is not quite the stretch that the humans would see it as. Therefore losing twelve years of a life, to an Asgardian, is not the end of the world. With immortality stretching ahead of them, they can afford to waste or lose as many years as they like without death's chiming toll looming over them. Twelve years is nothing to the great immortals. They can live forever; what are a few years?
Unless you are in love and the person, with whom you are in love with, is thousands of miles across the universe and there isn't a thing you can do about it because it is part of your punishment. Doomed to not be able to see each other until those twelve years are up and your punishment is over. All you can do is hope that the time will fly and freedom will beckon with open arms.
It had been nearly twelve years since their sentencing, Catherine noted as she sat in the conservatory staring at a calendar that lay on the coffee table in front of her. The conservatory was lit up beautifully by the sun reaching its highest peak in the sky. Everything glimmered under its gaze and all things seemed warm, light and airy in this place.
Ahead of her, through the windows, was a wonderful view of the gardens. The natural scenery surrounding the summer palace of the Princess Freya of Alfheim was not to be sniffed at. There were so many exotic scents, a beautiful range of colours in the flowers and the pathways between the plants could wind round the gardens so much that it would take you an hour to see the gardens; that is if you only stayed on the one path and did not take the paths leading off it. It hadn't been hard for Catherine to fall in love with this place not long after her arrival five years ago.
She'd expected to hate it, to resent it for being the cause of such separation between her and Loki even though it wasn't. She'd expected an irrational hatred and a strong bitterness towards the people. But that hadn't happened; instead she'd found the locals welcoming and warm hearted, despite being in the presence of someone who had become a somewhat cold hearted killer. They'd taken her into their society and treated her as one of their own.
It had unnerved Catherine at first, being treated so well when this was supposed to be a punishment. Once she had begun to adjust, she'd assumed the separation was the punishment but it had soon become very clear that the punishment was so much more than that.
In the first weeks of her stay, Catherine had been able to taste the milk of pure kindness, compassion and the gentleness of the Light Elves' spirituality. The longer she spent amongst them, the more she began to see the differences between her own selfish, thoughtless and hurtful actions in the past and the selfless, loving day to day actions of the Light Elves.
That comparison alone had stung at Catherine's heart, forever reminding her that she didn't deserve to be here, that she was a killer who didn't deserve all this sympathy. Those first weeks had been the worst, with her being constantly tormented by thoughts of self-loathing and bitterness towards herself for not being like these beautiful, kind and honest creatures. Comparing herself to them had become a daily habit, reminding herself of the horrors of her own actions on Midgard. She still suffered nightmares from the memories from time to time.
One of the worst things about those weeks was that the Light Elves treated her like a guest, not expecting anything of her. She'd come to Alfheim thinking that she was going to work. But instead they completely looked after her. In many ways it made her come to feel even guiltier but she had no idea what her purpose was on this planet. The first weeks had passed with her wallowing in grief for being separated from Loki, the guilt of her own sins in comparison to the elves and confusion for what the future held.
As if drawn to Catherine's sadness, Princess Freya, the Goddess of Love, had visited the small village that Catherine had been staying in back then. She came to see Catherine and told her that she had been informed of the circumstances of Catherine's arrival on Alfheim. Catherine had expected to be rejected, sent away, yelled at, blasted for being such a horrible person but instead Freya had spoken kindly to her and bid her welcome. That had been the final straw for Catherine.
She could still remember breaking down to Freya, confiding in her about the terrible things she had done and how unfit she felt to be on such a wonderful and peaceful world. Freya had been more than understanding, hearing her out before telling Catherine that it was possible to redeem one's soul by doing good to counter the bad. Your soul would always carry the weight of the bad but if you could balance it out by doing more good then things would be better. Catherine had had no idea where she could even start but Freya suggested she try and help out with some odd jobs around town and instructed the townsfolk to allow Catherine to help. She promised Catherine that she'd find her a permanent position.
After that things had gotten a little easier. Catherine had started helping out around the town. It started off as a few shifts at the Healing Hall, keeping it tidy and dispensing medicines but eventually they started letting Catherine help make the herbal remedies too. She also started helping out behind the counter at book stores or anywhere that was short staffed. Over the first year, she threw herself into working and not thinking about Loki or her son Tyr, except on the anniversary. It was incredibly hard but she had already been through this tortured separation before so she was a bit more equipped to deal with it. But this time she knew she would see Loki at the end. It gave her hope and faith to keep working towards it.
She'd started to get to know the locals too. She was still unnerved by the fact that they didn't judge her for what she'd done before. They even encouraged her to visit their church and take up confession once in a while, to unburden what was on her mind. At first she felt silly but over time she found that it actually helped. She'd become quite good friends with the vicar Ansgar, his wife Heidrun and his daughter Carina. Sadly no amount of confessions could stop the nightmares returning once in a while. But she was accepting of their presence. She needed reminding of the person she could never allow herself to become again.
She'd been approached by Freya again, eighteen months into her stay on Alfheim. Freya had offered her a position in her summer palace just outside the village. She would be Freya's lady in waiting for five months of the year and the rest of the time, she could return to her other jobs in the village. Catherine was pleased to be able to have another steady job to do in this world. However this was when things turned a bit sour.
Princess Freya had another lady in waiting, one who went everywhere with her, all year. Her name was Helena and Catherine had soon come to loathe her. The pair had never hit it off and it was clear that Helena looked down on Catherine. In fact it often seemed like she was the only Light Elf to actually care about Catherine's past. However Freya would continually ignore Helena's attempts to warn her off employing Catherine. After months of wanting any of the Elves to treat her so nicely, Catherine found that she had a problem with Helena badmouthing her like that. It annoyed her to know that Helena would always look down on her. Catherine would always suppose this was when she first began to move past the self-loathing fuelled desire to be rejected by the Elves.
It wasn't always possible to ignore Helena but the two mostly managed to keep their snide remarks and their hostile tension out of the way of Princess Freya. If she had noticed anything amiss between them then she did not say anything. It was very hard to imagine being angry for long in the presence of such a peaceful Princess. Freya had that kind of presence that radiated love and peace even if you weren't feeling particularly happy that day. Catherine found her incredibly soothing to be around and so was incredibly grateful to be allowed to serve her.
Helena aside, the first summer serving Freya was a pleasant one. Freya was an active Princess and loved to take part in many activities. Catherine and Helena would often take turns accompanying the Princess on activities whilst the other waited around in case they were needed for fetching, carrying or giving messages for people in the palace or town.
The weather on Alfheim was beautiful and so they spent most days outdoors. After years spent in a prison cell, Catherine loved the feel of the outdoors, the softness of the air on her face and the smell of the grass. As she adjusted to living on Alfheim, for the first time in a while and for the first time ever without Loki, she felt at peace. She was content to just serve Freya and do what she could to try and save her soul whilst that was still possible.
Keeping busy helped keep Catherine's mind off Loki, although by this point she was a bit more accustomed to being without her soulmate after seven years in a separate prison from him, never mind another world. The seven years in prison and the limited contact with each other meant that they had to cram a lot of conversation into two half days a year of being allowed in the same room. Sadly they weren't allowed to do more than hold hands. Hugging and kissing was completely forbidden. Sometimes Catherine had even forgotten what it felt like to kiss her lover. It was a distant memory now; back to those days on Midgard or the day of the sentencing, their last kiss.
As for the rest of the prison time, Catherine had been grateful for the hour's exercise a day so she could practice what she had learnt from Sif and the visits she received from Thor, Frigga and occasionally Odin when he came with Frigga. They brought books in for Catherine to read so she was able to stop herself from going crazy. Of course these visits were only every fortnight and sometimes they were too busy to come at all so it was difficult at times finding something to do. Staring at the walls of her cell had become so monotonous that she'd nearly driven herself mad. After she started getting some books she began re-reading them just to pass the time by.
Her final year of imprisonment, after Loki was taken to Jotunheim, was the worst. Loneliness and withdrawal symptoms from missing Loki and not having a visit to him to look forward to, began to set in. She became stressed, agitated and a lot angrier. Frigga and Thor tried to send her things to entertain her but she couldn't settle. She caused a few fights in the training area as she was unable to healthily channel her anger towards worrying about Loki. It wasn't just Catherine who was relieved to be released from jail, months later. The guards were happy to see the back of her too.
It had certainly been a crazy twelve years.
XMARVELX
The frozen home world of Jotunheim was about as unattractive as it had always been, especially to him. There was nothing remotely appealing about the craggy mountains, the snow and ice that covered the ground all year round. Even the frozen rivers were about as colourless and barren as the rest of the world. How the Jotuns put up with it, Loki did not know. He could only be grateful for small mercies that he did not live here himself permanently even if he'd had to spent the last six years on this desolate, ice ridden rock.
Loki lowered the frost hammer he was holding and looked up at his work. Having to rebuild Laufey's palace by hand was by far the most tedious thing he'd ever had to do. Well, it wasn't Laufey's anymore since he was dead but it was Laufey's other son, his brother Konrad, who was in charge now. He was living in the palace with his sister Eva.
It was odd thinking of someone else as his brother despite his continued protestations that he didn't consider Odin and the others his family. It was even more odd thinking that he had a sister too. Though from what he had observed, Eva was very different to Konrad. She didn't seem half so ruthless and was pretty approachable. Not that Loki had any real interest in getting to know her. As far as he was concerned, he had no family whatsoever; except for Catherine and his dead son, Tyr.
Loki found that he had underestimated how much he would miss Catherine. He had spent many lonely nights dreaming about having her with him even if it was only simple things like talking or holding hands. In the cold wilderness of Jotunheim, these thoughts had warmed him. He'd tried to keep himself busy, to pass the time. He'd managed it after falling from the bridge, he could do it again. But now that he knew what Catherine had been through in the time that had passed then, he had more worries about her this time wound. What if she was pregnant again? What if something happened and she couldn't cope this time? What if she tried to kill herself again? No, he would tell himself. She would be watched like a hawk this time since she was a potential threat. Never before had he been so glad that he had dragged Catherine into his trouble. She would be guarded and safe.
In some ways being on separate worlds for the past six years had been easier on Loki. Those first six years in the prison with her only a few miles away in another wing had been hell for him. Two half days of supervised conversations where they could only hold hands sounded pretty good in comparison to never seeing each other every day and having to stay strong over that. Overall they'd only had six full days together before he'd been taken to Jotunheim.
When he hadn't been inwardly pining for Catherine, he'd made use out of the books and scrolls that Frigga and Odin had sent him. At first the idea of accepting anything from them had been repulsive and demeaning but eventually boredom had set in and he'd taken advantage. He'd thought for a moment that he and Catherine could exchange letters but it was not allowed and there was a warden over the prison who had a similar ability to Heimdall; he could see all that was brought into the prison, his territory and letters were forbidden since they could contain future dangerous plans.
Odin and Frigga had visited him a few times but he only allowed the visits to humour Frigga. He found that he could not stomach hurting her as he could Odin. Thor had visited once or twice but there wasn't much for the brothers to say to each other. Eventually his family stopped visiting once they had realised the visits weren't productive at all and Loki had been left alone to serve his time and look forward to his days with Catherine.
The day he had been taken to Jotunheim had been both hell and a reprieve from the pining. He was now going to be without his precious time with the woman he loved but at the same time he would be busy and perhaps that would make the separation easier. It didn't make it easier but it made it more bearable. Loki would still wake up at night, tortured by dreams of having Catherine by his side. He would be tortured by visions of her in that beautiful golden dress, her face laughing and smiling. The coldness of his cell had helped to cool those thoughts from his head and keep him clear headed for his work the next day. Never so much had he been grateful for his Jotun heritage and been able to wear his birth skin. The cold no longer bothered him and he had gotten less looks as time had gone on. Konrad still hated him and would make things harder for him as the weeks went on but heck, Loki had killed their father; no, Konrad's father, not Loki's. Laufey had been nothing to Loki, not like… not like Odin. After such perplexing thoughts regarding his heritage, Loki had decided to forget about his family altogether. All they could do was bring him down when he needed to keep his head above water.
His first work on Jotunheim had been helping with the rebuild of the city that had been destroyed. In general Loki had gotten the worst of the jobs since technically others were helping him rebuild it. It was actually rather ambivalent of Konrad to have not put his palace rebuild ahead of the city's. However there had been no ambivalence left in him for Loki. He'd made it clear that he would pay dearly for Laufey's death. If Loki had remotely cared for his brother, he might have felt threatened but in all honesty, there were so many people that hated him anyway; what was one more?
Eva, on the other hand was a different story. She was intrigued by Loki, he could tell that much but she also seemed to be uncertain of how to make of him. Loki tried not to care too much about what his sister thought about him but she had gradually started to approach him more and more, asking him questions about where he'd come from. Most of the time he'd ignore her but eventually, he would give short answers which seemed to appease her, until she came back wanting to know more. He had been steadily growing annoyed and yet intrigued by her lack of fear/hatred for him. When he had eventually asked her, she merely stated that she had no love for her father. Aside from that he hadn't had much social interaction that actually mattered to him.
When he thought of anyone, it was always Catherine and her beautiful smile. He was constantly counting down the days until he could be with her again. Their punishments would be over, they could do what they wanted. He often wondered where they would live. Certainly not Midgard. Asgard would be an option for them to reside in but Loki wasn't sure if he was ready to live alongside the ghosts of Odin's lies. He wasn't sure what expectations they'd have of him. The idea of being with Catherine on their own somewhere seemed so simple and even if it wasn't his own kingdom, the notion of being free from his family issues and responsibilities seemed so appealing.
But he doubted anything could be that simple.
Author's Note: Hey guys! Right I am aware this is a big time jump and it's also a lot of information to process about the twelve years but I will most likely be including flashbacks and mentions of the twelve years over the course of the story to sort of fit in the gaps. Truth be told thought, the twelve years apart is the punishment and this story is going to be exploring the character development post punishment. That said, I won't deny that things that have happened in the twelve years could well become useful to the plot. Anyway hope you like this story. Please read and review…