Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All characters, terms, and affiliates of Naruto are not mine, but belong to their respective owners, Masashi Kishimoto, TV Tokyo, VIZ &c.
Full blame (or congratulations?) goes to the KakaSaku community on LiveJournal and its lovely mods for running the Poe Challenge. They single-handedly brought me back after three years away playing in other fandoms. This fic was inspired by the prompt for the first round of the challenge: The Tell-Tale Heart. I have never been a fast writer, so this submission is very, very late. The challenge itself is long over now so just enjoy. Mwah.
Thrum
Sakura wonders if she would feel the same way if everyone knew about their relationship. If she would still feel this can't stop watching, can't stop staring, can't stop waiting for the next moment they are alone feeling that seems so big her skin feels tight with the pressure. That, at any moment, she will burst and let loose the emotions she bottles up inside.
The feeling only grows with each press of his lips against hers, each squeeze of his arms around her waist as he pulls her close. It is an incredible, overwhelming thing. But fighting alongside the happiness is the guilt. The shame for the way she must skulk around the Jounin headquarters to get a quick look at him during her lunch breaks and the trust she sees in Naruto's eyes when he asks her where she's been.
With his hand warm on her hip at night, she sometimes tries to imagine what face her friends would make if they found out. She rehearses explanations in her head as he breathes against her neck and always ends up thinking why do I care?
Her bravado leaves her, though, in the light of day when he goes north to the shinobi school and she heads south for her shift at the hospital. She spends another day with one eye on the lookout for his tell-tale shade of hair strolling down the hallway, although he is never willingly at her work. He is known for the extremes he will go through to avoid the hospital, and Sakura supposes it is a good thing. She doubts she would get much work done with him in the same building, let alone the same room.
Her guess is proven right when she opens the door to room 105 and meets the lazy droop of Kakashi's eye over the crying head of one of his students. The dislocated shoulder is quickly taken care of, and while another medic nin takes the sniffling youth behind the front desk for a well-deserved lollipop, Sakura is busy closing the door with one hand and reaching for his mask with the other.
She kisses him with an urgency that surprises them both, but Kakashi is quick to respond. He pulls her against him and slots his fingers through her neat bun of pink hair, dislodging it. Pins fall like metallic rain as her toes curl at the slight tug on her scalp, and all Sakura can do is drape her arms over his shoulders and hang on.
This is how they are found when the medic nin returns.
"Sakura-san, I forgot my—oh!"
She pulls away from Kakashi so quickly that she stumbles, but the girl is already closing the door and there is no point in going after her because all Sakura can think is someone knows.
Someone now knows that she is in a relationship—an obviously physical relationship—with Hatake Kakashi.
Her—formerformerformerwhyisitwrong—sensei.
It takes her a moment to realize Kakashi is speaking. She slowly turns to face him when he finishes.
"'That was awkward.' That's all you have to say?" Her voice cracks on the last word. She stares at him for some sort of explanation but puts up a hand before he can reply. She probably wouldn't be able to hear him anyway; her frantic heartbeat is all she hears.
"Never mind… You should go. I need to go. We both should—"
"Go. I got it." He busies himself with pulling his mask back up, and despite her panicked twitching, Sakura aims an apologetic look at the top of his bent head.
"Will I see you tonight?" It is a lousy and badly timed peace offering and she knows it. She expects the brush off but the knowledge doesn't make it hurt any less when he responds.
"If you want."
Okay. She deserves that. Sakura presses on and hates the stilted quality of her words. "I do. Really. And then we can talk. About this… and stuff."
He hums a low note and leaves her staring at the door.
Naruto knocks on her door at seven that night.
It has become somewhat of a tradition of theirs, to have dinner at Sakura's place. When both their schedules permit, he never fails to be on time, and Sakura manages to smile and say her usual joke around the kyuubi-sized lump in her throat.
"Need to fill that hollow leg of yours again, huh, Naruto?"
"Make that two hollow legs." He pushes past her and sniffs hopefully in the direction of the covered dishes on the table. "I'm extra hungry today, Sakura."
"That's good because I was extra… cookish tonight."
She knows it is an understatement when Naruto laughs. When not… with Kakashi, her main way of relieving stress is cooking. Considering the circumstances, it's no surprise that her countertops are littered with pots.
"Well, can we eat now? I want some food in me before you start talking about what gross thing you did at work today."
Sakura flinches but Naruto's too busy lifting lids off dishes. Her smile is back in place by the time he turns toward her, and if it is a little too tight against her cheeks, he doesn't seem to notice. She eyes the steaming pot he has balanced in one hand, chopsticks gripped in the other.
"I hope you're not going to eat straight from the pot, Naruto."
He smiles cheekily at her and sits down.
She lasts all of thirty minutes.
Naruto recaps his day between bites that distend his cheeks, and she picks through her food, too distracted by the thrum she feels in the soles of her feet. It takes her a moment to realize that it is her pulse slowly picking up speed, because she knows, just knows, he will ask at any moment. A simple how was your day? and she will spill her guts across the table, and he will sit and stare in disgust.
As it turns out, Naruto doesn't even have to ask. The thrum becomes an audible sound in her ears so loud that Sakura barely hears her own chopsticks hitting the table. Her chair scrapes back as she stands and Naruto freezes, ramen halfway to his mouth.
"I'm with Kakashi." It is necessary but no less difficult to drop the honorfic.
But there. She's confessed—let the bomb drop into the space between them, and it's freeing and terrifying all at once. It's only when she feels the pressure in her chest does she realize she is holding her breath. Her words rush out as the need to ask and the need to breathe war for space in her mouth.
"Aren't you going to say anything?"
"Oh!" Naruto seems to snap out of his stare, and the ramen completes its journey to his mouth. "Oh yeah. I know."
"What?" She knows she must have heard him wrong, because out of all the possible things to say, I know couldn't be one of them.
"I've known for ages, Sakura." Naruto shrugs at her. "People have known since probably the beginning."
"But… how?"
"Well, it's not like Kakashi-sensei's ever hidden it, you know." He looks down for a moment before meeting her eyes again. "Only you have. And not very well, to be honest."
"Not very…" Sakura hates how all she can seem to manage is a few words at best.
Naruto taps his nose. "You started smelling different. At first, I couldn't place the scent. It was familiar and yet not. Drove me crazy, seriously, but that didn't last long. Kakashi-sensei and I hang out, you know." He continues on and thankfully ignores the heat blazing up her neckline. "That's how I knew."
"And the others?" She almost didn't want to know. Could everyone smell it—her? God.
The fear must have been written all over her face, because Naruto laughs hard enough to tear. "No, Sakura. Unless you're me or from the Kiba clan, no one else can smell the difference. They saw it. In your eyes."
"My eyes?"
"Yeah. It's all there," Naruto fiddles with his chopsticks and slumps back against his chair. "As lame as it sounds, there's a… a glint in your eyes when someone mentions his name. And don't even get me started on when you see each other. It's like you're eye-fu—"
"Naruto."
There is a short pause where Naruto simply shrugs and Sakura thinks that they've grown up much more than they previously believed. Naruto proves her right.
"He obviously makes you very happy, Sakura. And who would even want to hide that?"
She looks down at her bare feet. "Apparently, I do."
"Well, now you know that I know—that the people who matter in the village know and, more importantly, don't care. So… stop caring too."
She laughs as he resumes eating. "So, it's that simple?"
"If you want it to be." Naruto smiles and nods at her plate. "Are you gonna eat that?"
Kakashi answers on the third knock, and it is the first time in a long time that Sakura feels the urge to fidget under his stare.
She takes in the way he fills up the space in the doorway, from his perpetually blistered feet to his seemingly gravity-defying hair, and feels the thrum in her feet start up again. She knows he sees it in her eyes when he nudges the door open a few inches more.
"You didn't have to knock."
She shook her head. "I did this time. I had to prove it."
"Prove what?" He asks, though she's sure he knows. He always knows.
"That I'm not ashamed. Of us. Of anything." She has rehearsed her response dozens of times on her way here, but it is still difficult when she is speaking to the one that matters most. "I'm so sorry for hiding us away. You make me happy and out of control and frustrated and—and so, so happy like nothing else can. Who am I to hide that? Why should I hide that?"
His eyes are wide when she finishes, and all she can do is stare back at him. She knows from past experience that he uses silence to intimidate, but it appears that he needs this time to gather his thoughts. And good or bad, she will accept them.
Eventually, Kakashi responds with a nod and a slow crinkle to his eyes. He pushes the door wide and steps back with his hand toward her. "Wise words. Who told you that?"
Sakura steps forward and tangles her fingers with his. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."