Harleen Quinzel clicked down the stone corridor of Arkham Asylum, on her way back from her first meeting with Two Face. She had a headache from all his duality talk and coin flipping, and giggled to herself that the only cure was two ibuprofen. All in all, her first day as an intern had been interesting and surprisingly fun. She had met some of the finest criminals in Gotham; Scarecrow, Two Face, Penguin, and now she was heading down to the infirmary to meet her last criminal of the day. He had just been admitted, broken and bloodied by the Batman. The staff had immediately sent him to the infirmary, Harley wondering if it was enough.

She made it to the red lettered door, taking a deep steadying breath before she stepped inside. There she saw five cops, two detectives, and the commissioner himself standing there, glaring at the man laying motionless on the cot. "Hello," she said with a forced friendly smile; cops weren't her favorite people.

"Hello Doctor," the commissioner said with a rough nod at the patient. "Meet The Riddler, hope you can get farther with him than the others." Harley turned her head, taking in the busted lip and the blackened eye of the rather handsome man on the cot.

"Hello Doctor," he said with forced pleasantness, his eyes glaring at her.

"Good evening Mister Nygma," she said with a nod and watched him smirk. The sight was a little gruesome as his lip split again, blood trickling down his chin. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I took a bat fist to the face a few dozen times," he said and the commissioner huffed.

"You deserve worse," he growled and Harley watched the Riddler turn an angry look his way.

"It's not my fault he couldn't figure out my riddle in time to save the first two hostages," he said with a shrug.

"Those were my people dammit!" The commissioner slammed a fist into the bedside table and The Riddler just tsked.

"Temper temper," he shook his head and Harley stepped forward before the older man wrapped his hands around his throat.

"I'll take it from here, get out," she said firmly, squaring her shoulders with a stern glare over her black rimmed glasses. The police filed out and she turned to the man in the bed, unsure what to do now that she had him alone. His one good eye roamed over her body and Harley blushed under the scrutiny.

"You're new," he said after a moment and relaxed on the pillows.

"I'm an intern here," she said as she pulled over a metal chair. She positioned it by his bed and sat, opening up his file with a sigh. "Edward Nygma," she said his name out loud, testing to see how he'd respond to it.

"Alias The Riddler," he added with a small smirk. "Ask away doctor, I know the drill. My childhood, my parents, relationships..." he shrugged and turned his eyes to her. "Do you like riddles?"

"Not when people's lives are at stake," she said and he chuckled.

"No one's life is in danger now, will you answer if I ask one?"

"I won't play games with you Mr. Nygma," she said firmly and he lost all humor on his face.

"Riddles are not games," he spat out and shut his eyes. Harley bit her red lips together and decided to change tactics.

"If I answer," she said carefully and his eyes opened slowly, "will you answer my questions truthfully?" A smile spread across his lips, one that despite the damage looked quite handsome.

"If you answer correctly," he said with a nod and she smiled at him. "Why is an orange like a bell?" Harley thought for a moment and smiled at him.

"Because you have to peel them both," she said and he nodded in approval. "The doctors all think you had an abusive childhood, did you?"

"My father left when I was two, my mother's various lovers from then on beat me at times." He stopped and sat up a little. "How much dirt is in a hole three acres wide and twenty feet deep?"

"None, it's a hole," she said with a small giggle and he grinned wider.

"That stumps the idiots," he said with a tilt of his reddish brown haired head.

"Where's your mother now?" Harley asked and The Riddler shrugged.

"I don't know and don't care to," he said and she sighed. "That's the truth, my word is something I'll keep. I have billions of eyes, yet I live in darkness. I have millions of ears, yet only four lobes. I have no muscle, yet I rule two hemispheres. What am I?" Harley thought over his words for a moment, another smile coming to her lips.

"The human brain," she declared with pride and he nodded.

"I'm impressed so far Doctor, can you keep it up?" he asked and she sat forward in her chair, pulling it closer to his bed.

"You betcha," she said with a wink. "Now the doctors around here are convinced you're either gay or asexual-"

"I'm straight as an arrow," he said with a laugh. "I might have forgone any relationships lately, but that doesn't mean I'm not interested." To add emphasis to his words Harley watched his eyes flicker down to her blouse and she sat back self consciously, well aware her shirt gave him a rather good view from that angle. "Why is a quarrel like a bargain?" he asked and Harley mulled it over.

"Because it takes two people to make one," she said and he hummed. "You're going easy on me, aren't you?"

"That counts as your question and yes," he spoke over her objections quickly. "When is a person like a piece of wood?"

"When they're a ruler," she said without hesitation and he smirked. "Why are you going easy on me?"

"Call it misplaced chivalry," he said with a wink and Harley hated to admit that she blushed at that. "Just because I'm a criminal doesn't mean I'm not a gentleman. Now, what is always on it's way here and never arrives?"

"Tomorrow," she said quickly, "why did you kidnap those police officers?"

"Because I could. What is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end and the end of every race?" Harley bit her lips together in thought, breaking apart the riddle piece by piece. "Giving up?" he taunted and she narrowed her eyes.

"Never. The answer is the letter E. Why did you kill them?"

"I didn't, the Batman's stupidity did," he said with nonchalance like they were discussing the weather. "Voices without mouths throats or tongues, they know no language but answer to all tongues..."

"An echo?" she answered and he nodded. "Why them?"

"Why not them? Tear off one and scratch my head, what once was red is black now instead. What am I?"

"A match," she said with more certainty and he nodded. "Why riddles?"

"They test the mind, tingle the senses," he waved a hand and sighed. "My head hurts."

"That's not a riddle," she said and he looked at her, his eyes narrowed before he smiled at her.

"It wasn't meant to be," he said with a chuckle.

"He really did a number on you huh?" she asked and he nodded.

"It's part of his game, I riddle, he attempts to solve, and when he catches me he beats me before handing me over to the police." Harley reached out a hand, unthinkingly pushing a few stray strands of hair from his forehead. He leaned into the touch slightly and she smiled at him softly.

"It's a shame... You shouldn't be so mistreated," she whispered the words and he sighed. Out of nowhere his hand gripped her wrist and Harley gasped as he held her there.

"You're the first person to ever tell me that," he said sadly, bringing the back of her hand to his lips. Harley let out a stuttering breath as he released her hand, still feeling the fleeting kiss. "If you know me you want to share me, but if you share me I disappear. What am I?"

"A...a secret," she managed and he winked at her before settling back into his pillows, his eyes dropping closed.

"Doctor Quinzel?" Harley jumped at the voice in the room and whirled to see two orderlies standing there. "We're here to take him to his cell."

"Go ahead," she said with a distracted nod and stood up. She left the room quickly, not able to get out of there fast enough.

XxX

That night Harley walked through her kitchen, stopping by her open bottle of red wine. Her eyes never left the page of the file she was reading as she picked it up and took a sip straight from the bottle. Bottle in hand, she moved from the kitchen to her bathroom. Once there she set the bottle down on the edge of the tub and turned on the bathtub tap, letting the hot water warm up.

The Riddler's file was as thick as any she had ever seen, every page devoted to his crimes and mental state. She'd never admit it out loud, but his file was by far the most interesting of all the patients she had met that day. He was different than the others, a hint of humanity lay behind his crimes. Every time someone died it was because someone didn't solve a riddle fast enough, he never outright killed anyone. He was a criminal yes, but he wasn't the worst of them. He definitely didn't deserve the beating Batman gave him.

"Doctor Quinzel," a deep voice behind her made her shriek and whirl around, braced for the worst. She saw the famous Batman standing in the middle of her hallway, anger set in his features.

"B-batman?" she asked and he nodded.

"There's been an escape from Arkham, several patients you saw today-"

"Was The Riddler one of them?" she asked, trying to pretend and tell herself that it didn't seem odd for her to ask about him over anyone else.

"No, he's locked up in his cell, I checked on him myself. The Scarecrow and Two Face have gotten out. Since you saw them today, do you have any idea where they might be?"

"No," she answered honestly, taken aback. "You don't think I helped-"

"I don't know you, you might have helped them. If I find out you're lying to me-"

"Will you beat me like you did The Riddler?" she tried not to sneer the words but they came out that way anyway. Batman's eyes narrowed and he advanced on her. Harley back pedaled into her bathtub, the warm water immediately soaking her clothes when she fell into it.

"I don't tolerate criminal activity Doctor," he said and she whined as she tried to pull herself out of her tub. She made it up to the side of the tub and looked up, about to give him a piece of her mind, and scowled to see him gone.

"Fucking creep," she spat as she picked up her bottle of wine, noticing belatedly The Riddler's file was gone.

XXX

So... I love the Joker, don't get me wrong, but I adore The Riddler. Frank Gorshin is my dreamboat and I always thought he would make a better (certainly less abusive) partner for Harley. This is my take on the story of how she becomes Harley Quinn because let's face it, she should know better than to fall in love with the Joker. So expect lots of Quiddler, some JokerXHarley, and feels galore. Let me know what you think! Much love, Leigh