I wrote this as part of JihyunMC Week on Tumblr and hoped to share it also on this website! I made this on a whim and wrote it immediately so as not to lose the current inspiration flow, so here it is! Please enjoy!
Choosing photography as a career was almost like taking in traveling as an accompaniment. The thoughts of leaving home for work didn't faze Jihyun. Rather, it excited him more to be able to leave the places where tracks of memories— sweet, but most of them bitter— resided. He had a life he tried to build upon entering his twenties and he didn't mind excluding most of the people from his childhood.
Picking up a name before leaving, V started to move.
His first official solo travel brought him down to the southern part of his country, just to be on the safe side. V had heard about the April festivals in Jinhae, where all paths were covered in the pink petals of the cherry blossoms where they bloomed in full abundance. He had seen pictures from others but he wanted to see them personally and take photographs of his own. Admittedly, he didn't have a focus for his work yet, but decided that he should try with the basic and most common subject: nature. Jinhae provided what he needed when he arrived.
He was a little careful around many people but he didn't mind the crowds he met there. He took his time with the festival until he moved on his own, passing by a small village called Sampo. V knew that place from a song.
A song my mother knew.
He left Jinhae soon after.
He met Rui while on a trip down to Hong Kong. V had been building his profile faster than he had expected, but it seemed he was solidifying a subject to dedicate his work to.
It was in a coffee shop in Mong Kok that he happened to chance upon the fellow photographer who, like him, was taking a break from the rushed moments of the city. Rui was older by a year and a little more experienced in the field, but V found him to be no different when it comes to talking about a love for work.
He made friends with him and parted ways to resume their respective travels but not before making good promises to keep in contact.
V moved along and passed by a theater that showed old English movies. He remembered his father was fond of them and made V watch to practice his speech when he was younger.
A romantic movie was on. It was his father's secret favorite but he knew it ended bittersweet.
Just like them.
He left Hong Kong the next morning.
He had explored a part of Asia already within some time and he decided to tread elsewhere from then on.
In Spain, he tasted wine. There was a decadence he found in the freshness of the fruit that danced in his tongue. There was warmth that brought up memories of him conversing with Jumin over the elegant alcohol.
V hadn't talked with Jumin in a while and decided he should soon. Of course the latter will be busy but the advantage of growing up very close with the heir to the C&R throne is that he has the assurance that Jumin will make time for him, all in the same way V would do vice-versa.
He bought wine in La Rioja.
Jumin will like this.
He left Spain with two bottles in hand.
During his recent exhibition in Seoul, V had met a woman who he would describe as the love of his life. She found beauty in the one portrait of the sun he took a picture of when he went to El Salvador. She shared with him the ideas she had about the sun, what it meant to her and what she believed about it. V found that his heart may have connected with hers through the common interest and he offered to give her the photograph in exchange for a drink.
He began to love her and decided to focus his life about her. V shared the belief she had about the sun, and believed he himself was her sun.
Her name was Rika.
It's a name that shines bright.
He left Seoul to explore the celestial object more for her.
He had read about midnight suns from travel books and found it once on television. It sparked in him the desire to visit Nupen in Norway, exactly within the months the sun does not set at all. For chasing something that exhibited heat in all manners, V inwardly laughed at the idea of how bundled up he was upon visiting this northern part of the globe. His guide was equally amused at the slight discomfort V found himself dealing with.
At the edge of Nupen, V witnessed the midnight sun, amazed at the red-orange glow it produced over the vast lands the country had to offer. He stayed up all night just to see if it truly would not drop below the horizon. He took pictures at every hour for proof.
He used to take photographs for himself, but now he took photos for Rika. Her occasional doubt about his love for her concerns him, and if his words cannot go through to her, V can show her the midnight sun. He could tell her then that there are places where the sun is everlasting.
As is my love for you.
He left Nupen with both feelings of contentment and a slight discomfort.
In Ireland, he found beauty in the Cliffs of Moher. There was nothing to change the feeling that grew inside him when he felt the rush of the wind blowing and the sound of nature in its purity. For that moment, V felt complete— he had life, he had love, work he adored, and what he could call a family in the form of a group he created with his lover.
He took a picture of the bright flowers that bloomed to show his friends. V took a picture of a hopeful blossom on the cliffside. It was pink in shade and beautiful and fresh. It would look nice in an exhibit, but more so in a personal collection. He would give it as a gift.
The rest of his photographs were divided then to choose which were to be auctioned and which were to be put on show.
For a moment, he didn't want to go back home. There were things he did not want to face yet and people he did not want to see yet, but he was the head of their organization and his appearance was a must.
It was the second party so far but Rika made sure the guests were in full attendance. There were twice the number this time.
Jumin was expecting him to come, as did the other members.
It is my responsibility.
He left Ireland with a feeling of uncertainty.
V's travels stopped abruptly when a quarrel with Rika escalated into a situation that went well beyond his expectations. It lasted too long for his liking but trying to control it was out of his reach, much similar in the manner that he thought controlling his lover out of pure concern would change things. His movement, provided with his now-poor vision, was limited to his home and to the cult organization located deep in the mountains.
He struggled but did not want to involve the rest of the RFA. V wasn't sure if that was a mistake or not, but he couldn't bear the thought of them having to suffer Rika's change. They put her on a pedestal and for their idea's sake, he left her there.
V would have been content to linger in her shadows had Rika not pulled Saeran in her hold.
And you.
You who had been unknowing all this time. An outsider, claiming to have been sent by Rika to the RFA. His secrets were beginning to be threatened and so he made sure to contact you more personally compared to the others.
He didn't like to travel to the mountains before, but now he had to.
He had to know you.
And in moving up the forested roads, he felt hope in your presence. Albeit faint, it was still a glimmer of hope. Of change.
You are my responsibility.
He left his cliffside home once more to ultimately try and save you.
He was able to face you for a longer time once the two of you escaped Mint Eye and he had recovered from the elixir. He had to hold his breath for a few seconds when he locked his sight with yours. He was surprised.
There was a world in your eyes that V initially could not fathom, because that world was too filled with care and love, such emotions he hadn't felt in so many years. Never this full and never this pure.
He realized that your world was something he'd like to see more of.
But I don't deserve it.
You held him in your arms while you listened to him talk about the possibility of a new life and a new love.
For you, the willingness to help him was immense.
For him, he could only hope for now.
It was his heart that traveled that night towards where you were. He could hold back on touching you, but he could not hold back the rising adoration that was building in him.
It was this adoration that sent the knife through his body.
He left the hideout with little recollection of it all, until blacking out.
He was almost thankful his trips varied now. Although the hospital didn't seem like the best place to be in, V found it to be better than inside Mint Eye.
Even better when he woke up with your hand holding his.
"You're still here." His voice was hoarse, but loud enough for you to hear everything.
You nodded. "Of course."
They were simple words but they ran deep inside him. There was a firmness in your reply, in your decision, and in your hold, and he appreciated it all.
As much as he would have wanted to want you, he prohibited himself. If he would deserve you, he should make himself deserving in the first place.
He thanked you and asked for your patience once more.
I will be back.
He left to start anew.
If he felt freedom during the early years of his journeys, V realized it was freedom from loneliness. This time, it felt like freedom from the life of turmoil he unconsciously helped build for himself. All the denials and refusals, all the secrets, and all the fear… one by one he let them go.
Bit by bit, he let go of V.
It was New Zealand he found beautiful. He had seen movies and videos that documented the large expanse of virgin land, and through his new sight, he appreciated it.
He thought of you while he was there, but he wasn't ready yet.
He started to draw.
He went to Florence and relished in the city that boasts of art. He didn't waste time and made sure to visit museums and exhibitions as soon as he could, including the Uffizi Gallery. Inspiration and motivation darted at him at every angle and there was a spark inside him that ignited. It was hopeful.
He wondered what you would think about them. He drew you in the corner of his sketchpad.
He moved on towards Paris, to the city of lovers. Frankly, it was a little different in the day than it was at night, but at certain moments while he drank coffee and stared at the famed tower, he felt full. There was little loneliness left in him.
He started to draw a portrait of you.
There were nerves in his steps when he arrived at Liverpool, but there was also determination in his mind. No longer did he want to be known as the estranged son. He didn't want any of that happening within his family anymore and he resolved to stay in the city until he could reach peace with his father. He accepted he had a new family there as well, but the fact remains that he was also his father's son.
It took a little while, but there was no reason for the father to turn his back on his son who had his doors open.
He thought about you during his stay there. It was a rainy day when he finished his outline of you.
He flocked to America to see the nation that held the world. He didn't know what to expect, but the cities provided an enchanting kind of variety in its people and its culture, and the natural spots were still a wonder to behold. Although there was much to see in a country housing fifty states, he opted for a select few. He was never one to do things out of plan, but he chose a few states at random until his last selection was in Alaska.
Anchorage proved to be a bustling city itself and it was here that he learned fully that he liked being around people. Being secluded back home in his cliffside house was never as alluring as he thought, although it did provide a good amount of privacy and silence when he needed it. But he liked the socialization, more so than he imagined. He was a tourist but he became easily friendly with the locals and they knew him enough to greet him during the mornings. There was life in his words and a newfound excitement in every day.
Would it be this way still when he went back home? It had been far too long since he had left and it had been far too long since he saw you.
And he truly missed you. Every day that he was away, he missed you.
He finished your portrait in color.
He was ready to move again now, because he realized that despite all the people he met and all the magnificent places he saw that sent an overwhelming feeling in his chest, they could never compare to the warmth he felt at home.
And home, Jihyun knew with full assurance, was simply back in your arms.
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