Base: *HQ, we are requesting two medics, two tanks, and two assault units, we have to break enemy lines so preferable high mobility types*
HQ: *Copy that base, deploying the special unit in T-minus 30*
Lucio's high speed transport arrived at the base at Kings Row the fastest. Lucio was just finishing with a concert in France when they called him.
HQ: *Lucio please confirm your arrival*
"Lets get some Lucio'ohs! Woah YEA!" Lucio yelled.
HQ: *Lucio deployment confirmed*
"What is this missions major malfunction?" Lucio rapped.
HQ: *You will be briefed when all other units arrive*
"WOOAhhh YEeeeah" Lucio yelled.
HQ: *Next four pods incoming*
The pods flew in to the docking bay at top speeds, barley making a noise as they connected to the base. The base that Overwatch had staked out was an abandoned church they had managed to fortify. Their original base was further up next to the EMP bomb the incoming crew had to protect as it moved, but hostiles had taken that base.
(King's Row Attack Spawn)
The door in the back of the church slammed open. Winston was the first to enter.
"By my calculations, we are in a church" Winston said in his silky deep voice.
"Heyyy Winston how's it hanging?" Lucio grinned (Lucio says everything kinda like a rapper but I don't want to write that every three seconds)
"By my calculations, I'm doing just GReat!" Winston smiled.
The next to enter was Phara.
"Fly the Friendly Skys!" Phara greeted Winston and Lucio.
"Phara how's it going? What's up with you and your mamma?" Lucio grinned.
"Really what the heck dude don't ask me personal questions!" Phara said unhappily (she has Arabic accent). She continued to graffiti on the wall. Here graffiti read "Play Nice, Play Phara".
Winston, who was looking the other way, turned his head a full 180 degrees to see Phara working on her graffiti. He shuffled over to the graffiti Phara had been working on. He figured a Banana would look better there so he graffitied a banana overtop her spray.
Phara was cross. She started shooting at Winston. The rockets harmlessly passed through him.
"You do not know what is happening in my life I am not having a good day," Phara said very cross.
"By my calculations I have angered you!" Winston said apologetically.
"Understood!" Phara said realizing she was being edgy and OC.
The next to enter was DVA but without her mech yet. She was in the middle of streaming when she was called for the mission.
"L-O-L, Hiya!" Dva winked at Phara, Lucio, and Winston.
"Hello," Winston smiled.
"Fly, like an Egyptian," Phara saluted Dva, also making a reference to a song that is a Jojo reference. Winston turned his head 360 degrees to look crossly at Phara,
"By my calculations, make another Jojo reference and I will give you the Popo reference," Phara laughed but then realized that meant she would go to jail, she quickly stopped herself from saying Part 5 Never, which matters because I am thinking of killing her off now because I am third person Omnipotent.
Phara growled in displeasure.
"Hey Daddio," Dva greeted the 5th member, solder 76 who had just entered.
"Please never say that again you are like 3, and you have your own parents that's rly creepy stop," Solider 76 said sternly.
"Love, Dva," Dva said as more of a demand than a statement.
"Stop messing around! We got a mission to do people!" Shoulder 76 barked at everyone. He yelled so loud he did a silent toot, no one could hear it except Winstons super hearing.
"How embarrassing!" Winston jeered.
"RRRRREEEeeee!!!!!" Solider 76 yelled, but quickly got his composure back, "Get off my damn lawn."
HQ: *Current members confirmed; Lucio, Winston, Phara, Dva, Soilder. Last member incoming*
"Look at this team we are going to do GREAT!" Lucio cheered.
"I will protect the sky's!" Phara cheered.
"Winky Face! Winky Face! Winky Face! Winky Face! Winky Face! Too many Messages," Dva cheered.
"Dva seriously you have issues," Soldier 76 cheered. Dva did a dab and it was not okay. Winston was clearly upset by it.
The last teammate had arrived. The door opened. Everyone stoped and turned to look at the back door. Fireflies by Owl City started playing.
You could not believe your eyes*
"TORBORN READY TO WORK!" Torborn jumped for glee.
The others were dead silent.
"Can you switch off Torborn we need another healer, like zenyatta," Soldier 76 said, clearly upset and his autism flaring.
"I main Torb," said Torborn unhappily.
"You have 20 hours on Torb and a 2% win rate dude switch or I'm reporting you," Soldier 76 said getting more upset.
"Torb can you go get Zenyatta, he would fare much better in the fight to come, I will even take my armor off for you later!" Phara winked.
"As will I!" Winston winked.
Everyone felt extremely uncomfortable.
"My ultimate is charging! Ultimate charging! Molten Core is charging! My ultimate is charging, ultimate charging! Too Many Messages Please Slow Down!" Torborn yelled.
"Guys report this Torb he is clearly trolling," Soldier 76 said with a tear in his eye.
"Torb please switch!" Phara yelled.
Torborn released the most unholy noise ever, it sounded like if someone was speaking from underwater but super loud.
HQ: *Mission begins in 10 seconds*
"Torb I said I would lay you if you switched come on man," Phara said unhappily.
"No you said you would take off your armour, I could fix it right up!" Torb smiled.
"Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Too many messages please slow down." Lucia yelled while punching the spawn door for no reason.
Dramatic music started playing and it made Winston start spinning at Mach speeds firing his Tesla Coil at everything.
HQ: *5*
"TORB PLEASE I WANT TO GET OUT OF BRONZE!" SOLDIER YELLED!
"I have gold elims," Torb retorted, he started doing one of the most atrocious dances Soldier had ever seen.
HQ: *4*
"TORB YOU ARE CLEARLY T-TROLLING, I got someone like you the past 5 missions, we lost every time, I just want to win once man," Soldier was snapped like a twig.
"If I weighed 99lbs and ate a 1lb taco, would I be 1% Taco?" Torborn questioned his team.
"BBBRRROOOoooooo please," Soldier pleaded.
HQ: *3*
"Wow I'm impressed Daddio, you can say 3 paragraphs in under a second!" Dva cheered.
HQ: *2*
Winston was still spinning. Phara couldn't decide where she wanted her graffiti.
"Look at this team, we are gunna do fucking awful you fucking retards, why tf we have a torb," Lucio Got mad.
HQ: *1*
"Okay at least if you are playing torb stick with us, we got this guys," Phara Tryed to encourage everyone.
The doors open and Lucio, Winston, Dva, Phara, and Soldier ran out gritting their teeth for the worst. Torb was still dancing in spawn what the heck.
Instantly Lucio and Soldier got picked off by sniper from Team Fortress 2. Nvm if I do that this will get put in crossovers and I will be cross.
The sniper from TF2 took off his mask and it was actually the spy from TF2, who took off his mask and it was American Sniper from the Movie American Sniper.
"Hah, two fags down," American Sniper radioed to his team, "God bless America."
Back to Lucio's team...
"OMG Torb is just dancing in spawn," Soldier said firmly unhappy.
"You will removed due to inactivity," Torborn responded. Torb realized what he said and rushed out onto the battle field. Dva got hooked out of her mech and was being held hostage by the enemy team, Winston jumped right infront of Bastion and died, Phara took 2 shots to her right knee and her leg had to be amputated but the enemy didn't give her time to call her family and instead killed her. Everyone was respawning. Except Dva but that is not pg rated and my mother says I can't write about that but if you want me to leave a comment and I will.
It was Torbs time. Bullets whizzed all around him. He did a combat roll through the choke and placed his turret, which was instantly destroyed.
"MY BABY!" His yell of maternal furry echoed throughout all of London, but only if Kings Row is in London if not I didn't write this paragraph ok?
He felt anger welling up inside him, the whole world had stopped. A flash back of his turrets first and last moments flashed before him. He could feel only rage. He recalled his turrets final words to him,
"Oof"
You say run starts playing*
"I CANT BELIEVE YOU MADE KRILLIN GO OOF, ILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU, FRIEZZAAAAAA!!!!!" Torb hollered.
"Hahahaha what you going to do bitch boy," Frieza from Dragonball Z chuckled in his evil (kinda gay but like evil gay) voice.
Torbs ult charge went from 0 to 100 in one nano mili second. The sky rumbled, Green lightning flashed, Dva moaned, PETA was triggered that you can kill monkey(s) in over watch. The ground shook.
"HHHHHAAAAAAHHHHHH"
"MOLTEN CORE!" TORB YELLED. His hair was glowing golden, he floated 2.5 centimeters off the ground. Uncle Magic started running to Torb to see how he did it, but was gunned down it's kinda sad really.
"I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FRIEZA!!!!!!" Torb yelled.
Torb took out his Hammar and warped behind Frieza and instantly killed him, heh nothing personal, but he was too mad to even make that joke.
But then his ult ran out and he got gunned down by bastion and only got one kill.
"Torb dude what the heck are you doing," Soldier yelled at Torb.
"I just read over this fanfic and realized I failed to write an actual story, and I was really trying to this time. Like I started writing and couldn't help turning this into fucking shit," trob said with unhappiness.
"Torb switch pls," Phara begged
"By my calculations where is Dva uWu."! Winston said upset
"Winston wow you are a furry, my man," Lucio yelled.
"I'm not a furry, I'm a SCIENTIST!" Winston said in rage popping his ult and jumping in.
He managed to knock Dva across the map. Dva was cross.
"Group up, group up at my position. Group up with me! Too many messages slow down." Dva yelled.
"GUYS WE NEED A SECOND HEALER!!!! I AM SO FED UP WITH THIS TORB TOO, he is building his turret in spawn AND THROWING ARMOR ONTO THE POINT DUDE KYS!!!" Soldier bellowed.
"What's going on up there?" Soldier yelled
"It's nothing mom." Soldier yelled at no one.
"Hahaha get some Lucio'oh'oh'oh'OH'ohs." Lucio yelled
"Ryan who are they?" Soldier yelled
"It's just people in a game mom," Soldier said crazily
"Turn it off."
"Mom it's a competitive match I can't turn it off."
"I don't care, if it's making you this angry turn it off."
"Mooooommmmm noooooooo-nooo-n-no n-n-nooOOOO NOOOOOO MOM STOP I WILL KILL YOU MOM NO STOP REALLY WHHHYYUU," Soldier whined.
A drop pod came down and air lifted soldier off the battle field.
"I'm needed else where," he saluted as he was lifted off.
HQ: *A Hero has left the Match*
"WOW TORB YOU SUCK," Phara yelled.
"I need healing," Torb replied
Phara to prove herself flew up into the air straight at the point and instantly got Sniped by American Sniper from the Movie American Sniper. Winston jumped in straight at the point and was also killed by bastion. Lucio was wallriding around the map past the point. Dva was getting achievements but those achievements were not free wow that's nasty and regret writing it. The last sane person, was Torb.
He went to where Dva was getting achievements and molten cored that @$$. Dva was clearly having a good time getting loot crates. But then American Sniper from the Movie American Sniper killed Dva.
Torb turned in furry. His turret was angry too since it didn't even get to say I Love You to Dva's mech and instead just fuuuucccccc.
"You will die bich boi," Torb yelled at American Sniper from the Movie American Sniper.
"I have killed infinity japs, commies, and Natzis? You honk think you can take me down?" American Sniper from the Movie American Sniper yelled.
American Sniper from the Movie American Sniper shot strait at Torb with pin point accuracy. Torb had his eyes closed.
Torb caught the bullet. With his massive... . Claw. (I'm so funny). American Sniper from the Movie American Sniper was super surprised.
"What," American Sniper from the Movie American Sniper said in sheer something or rather this essay has to be two pages and is due tommorow
Torb ate the bullet and fired it out his creamy @$$ back at American Sniper from the Movie American Sniper.
TODB JUST KILLED AMERICAN SNIPER FROM THE MOVIE AMERICAN SNIPER. Holly crab I got to tell someone.
At that moment Lucio came back and said, "If you leave now you will not be penalized or penetrated for leaving early, but will receive a loss."
"Oh let's break it down, just kidding douchenouzles," Lucio laughed.
"Bye fagilo," Phara winked in super hotness
A pod came down and Lucio left in it.
"That was rly hot but not that hot after soldier left," Dva moaned hahaha I don't have a backspace to delete that because I am on mobile
Dva got extracted by so massive nerd who flew off with her and that is not okay Winston looked mildly disturbed.
"You GUYS ruined MY overWATCH competiTIVE play EXPERIENCE!" Phara said like a complete fag, I swear if you ship mercy and Phara pls leave and give this a dislike so I know you are also gay (lol I am just kidding but I don't have a backspace) (I'm not kidding actually die because Jesus preached Gas Gas Gas the gays) (no fuckin backspace man...)
Phara flew up so high she died in space, before she could freeze by the power of god, her lungs were shredded by the microscopic particles being sucked into the vacuum created by air leaving her lungs. Her blood boiled (probably) and her skin was ripped apart. Her head was detached from the sheer force of the vacuum created. She still had consciousness as she felt her mind fog over. She was the hugest idiot for flying to space, but good riddance because she made ANOTHER Jojo reference by flying to space and I told you I would kill her off (If you are a Phara fan, Phara is at a farm far away you can still send her post cards)
Torb realized he was the last one. He spread his cheeks. Pg18 wow cannot write about that (unless you really want me to but then you have issues but I would still write it 3)
R I p torborlone
A while later...
HQ: *Defeat*
"Haha we won you lost," jeered the other team.
But jokes on them Torblone had gone deaf. And nose blind to the sent of dog.
The play of the game went, Dva pg18 omg what the heck blizzard fix your play of the games.
Torb got a card for: Most endurance "2:12" he was voted up 69 times.
"Hard work pays off" he said unsure wether to be proud or not.
The enemy team had stopped the payload and defeated our heroes, but wait I don't know if you noticed or not but Winston was still there but he wasn't doing anything!
He then left in a drop pod, but this one was from the hood because he's a monkey hahahaha I want to die
Torb went back to his family, luckily they didn't notice that he was missing a butt cheek ew that is nasty what the heck.
His wife made him the food he hated most, meatloaf.
"I have eaten to much meat today," uwu hahahahahahahaha said Torb
"Torborne only eat my meat said his transgender wife, it was Phara without her armour on! Wait no jk she is dead or at a farm. His wife was 10 feet tall and her meat double that long.
Torborne died at the end. The end.
Morals:
Don't throw or your transgender wife who is gay for you will kill you with massive meat.