I am undoubtedly a very busy person. I am always doing at least one of three things: writing, building, and thinking. Even when I just sit and think, no matter how simple the subject, it eventually leads to some vast analysis of the universe, cycling again into something very, very busy. This train of thought I'm going to describe to you is no different.

I had just learned of all the events surrounding Aphelion's defeat when I decided to exit the sewers for good. It was time to continue my work at home. When I shut my door and sat down, however, I had found myself floored by a memory, unable to do anything but think. While down in that chamber, Jack had gotten me to admit that I couldn't really do much cooped up inside every day, no matter how smart I was. But I never made the effort to leave. Jack even invited me to go fight the dragons, and I still never left my studying of those frescoes. I knew that staying down there was hurting my mind, and I knew I might have been able to get even more clues from observing the dragons up close. I told him to return when he needed me, but I knew that he wouldn't have the time to come back. Why didn't I just go?

This recollection led to a long reassessment of my scientific methods. Jack, the boy who got a 5 out of 100 on his entrance exam into the Radiata Knights, now knows more about the dragons than I ever will. Why? Jack looked, and ventured, and fought for his answers. I sat, read, and only sometimes walked to my points of research. Could I be a better scientist if I explored more, or even took breaks?

I then reflected on something I had never payed any mind to. About a year or two ago, I saw a girl outside my window. She explored a bit while making her way towards the City of Flowers, and came back not five minutes later, seemingly eager to leave the Elf Region in its entirety. There was nothing special about her, save the fact that she was the only human here besides me at the time. The only reaction she evoked from me was a raise of my eyebrows upon her departure. ...But what if it had been different?

I'm not saying that I missed her, or that I even remembered what she looked like (I still don't). I was just wondering what would have happened if I had allowed myself to talk to her. What if I would have found out that she was also researching elves, worked with her, married her, and had children that were twice as smart as me, therefore greatly benefitting the scientific community? That obvoiusly didn't happen. I didn't let it happen, just as I didn't let anything non-scientific happen for me. I was starting to believe that this way of life was wrong. The more I contemplated, the more I knew I'd been on the wrong path to progress. I felt, for a moment, that in order to be more of a genius, I would have to be less of one.

Or maybe I don't. It was just a thought.