I'm losing it. That's what it is. I'm just losing it. The dragon won't shut up. It won't. Then again I doubt it ever will. It plagues me. Tells me things. Things I have fought so hard with it to say isn't true. Because it isn't true. None of it. Everything the dragon says is a lie. Despite it saying that it isn't lying to me. But I know it is. It lies but its also so insistent. It tried to convince me that my Master and Padme were scared of me. They aren't scared….
They aren't.
Well, Master and Padme tried to help. Not tried to help but asked what was wrong when they heard me yelling. See, even though the dragon isn't an entity that can be see I have a bad habit of talking to it, yelling at it. They probably thought I was crazy. And eventually I just told them to leave me alone. Only problem is… they left the room. I really didn't think that they would but they did. And it hurt. So I tried to meditate and that didn't work, so I laid out on the floor but the dragon's words still haunted me. So I did the next best thing and went to see the Chancellor.
i So what possible reason could Obi-Wan Kenobi and Padme Amidala have to make you go on this wild bantha chase? It's a distraction, in my opinion. Trying to keep something from you so they make sure you overhear their conversation, knowing you would investigate, which you did. /i
And I wasn't sure. I shouldn't of listened to the Chancellor but I did. Because you didn't hide anything from me. Ever. And all of this led to jealousy. Led to me seeing that Padme spent more time with Obi-Wan than she did me. And I wanted to leave. Leave the planet, the Jedi Council and Padme. I had it in my head that they didn't need me. That I wasn't important to them. Which I should've known was a lie. But I didn't. I let my jealousy and anger get the better of me.
They say they wanted to help me. Wanted to try and help but I wouldn't let them. I never stopped them from trying to help. They left and I never told them to. But it doesn't matter. They were talking about me behind my back. You just don't do that. And to top that off she was hanging around Obi-Wan. He doesn't belong there. He never will belong there.