Title: Trouble This Way Cometh
Author: alienangel19852003 with Luny Lovegood from Harry Potter fanfiction dot com
Summary: Wherever Coco and Oz go trouble is soon to follow. After their abrupt expulsion from Salem School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in America, they continue their education at Hogwarts. Coming from a very relaxed school atmosphere the girls are without manners and skate (literally) threw life on nothing but daring never fearing consequences. Learning a lot from the likes of Luna Lovegood and Harry Potter and also teaching along the way.
Disclaimer: We don't know, we don't own, anything but the original characters we dreamed up. This is in no way meant to be a serious attempt at wonderful heartwarming story so please don't get offended by the occasional character bashing and offbeat themes this story isn't meant to offend anyone it's all in good fun. Flames make us stronger. We find them funny. Just review, we take the good we take the bad we take them both and then we have the facts of life.
"Arrival of trouble"
The giant clock at Kings Cross Station chimed noting that it was 11:30 am. Two young girls sat underneath at first glance the two couldn't be more different one was quite pale and tall rather skinny and had a large blue streak running through her otherwise dark brown hair. The other as black as she was pale with blonde braids, she was short and curvy. The two wouldn't look to even have anything in common at first glance but they were best friends. The white girl dressed in baggy cargo shorts and a shirt proclaiming the Rolling Stones. When the other girl was wearing a tight black tank top and skin tight medium wash denim jeans which showed off her shapely legs tucked into black boots that came to her knees.
The clock chimed again, and the shorter of the two girls grumbled, "I don't even think there is a platform nine and three fourths!" The black girl complained.
"Like chill Coco, seriously. Someone is bound to come along eventually." The pale girl responded sounding very mellow.
"Yeah, right to pick up our skeletons in about ten years. Oz, this place couldn't be emptier. There aren't any Normies around either." Coco complained fiddling with her blonde braids.
"Why do you have to turn everything into a melodramic nightmare? Just sit down someone will be along in a few minutes, the train leaves at noon you know." Oz said ever the calm one in situations like these.
"What about our stuff…" Coco whined.
"You mean your junk? I've got my things," she said stroking the black cat on her lap.
Coco pouted looking over at her three trunks and her two rolling suitcases as she clutched little black terrier and looked down at her friend who rolling back and forth on her skateboard. Oz was sharing the space on the seat with her beautiful snowy owl held captive in a cage. Oz only had messenger bag slung over her shoulder.
"Well, what am I going to do about my junk as you so eloquently put it?" Coco smirked.
"You know they got some buggies over there for you to use." Oz pointed a long bony finger over at some carts.
"How am I going to get this shit on the carts?" Coco wondered.
"Look at the fire crotch brigade." Oz muttered, and Coco turned to see what she was talking about.
There was literal sea of red heads, but one dark haired boy caught Coco's attention.
"Who is that? He cute, you see those glasses."
"Him?" Oz scoffed, "I know you're looking at that geek with the owl."
"I love me some nerds, and you've got plenty of room to talk Miss Smarty Pants. You're taking all six year classes except defense." Coco defended turning back to her friend.
"So what if I take the non-violent approach when it comes to magic. My potions are killer though." Oz said.
"Yeah..." Coco said, she hadn't faired to well in potions.
There was an ungodly screech from the cage as the other snowy owl came into view.
"Opium! You act like you've never seen a woman before!" Oz shouted at the owl who didn't stop screeching as the other owl came closer.
Ron Weasely was in a daze all morning as he listened half heartedly as Hermione Granger yammered on and on. He couldn't wait till he got to Hogwarts, maybe she'd shut up then. The bushy haired witch was excited about her prefect duties. He didn't understand how Harry could listen to the witch drone on and on about classes. His younger sister wasn't paying much attention either she was staring at something or rather two someone's in the distance.
Fred and George offered no reprieve from Hermione's constant chatter, they were talking about their new pranks for the start of term. He wished he could be in on that conversation, but they didn't trust him he was a prefect like Hermione. But he was more lax on the rules.
"Look at those weirdoes." Ginny pointed out.
"You don't reckon they are going to Hogwarts." Ron asked hopefully, glad any conversation that wasn't about classes and duties of the year to come.
"They've got an owl they must be." Harry said as his own owl joined theirs in screeching song.
"They look like a circus." Ginny said as they drew nearer to the girls in question.
The short black girl turned with a smirk, "You wouldn't be magical folk would ya?"
"Yes, are you two going to be attending Hogwarts?" Hermione asked.
"Yeah," the brunette sharing a skateboard with a caged owl that was almost identical to Harry's responded the owl had not stopped screeching.
"I'm Clarissa Collins, please call me Coco, and that is Oz." Clarissa, Coco said.
"I'm Hermione Granger, these are my friends, Ronald, Fred, George, and Ginny Weasely, and this is Harry Potter.
"Ooh, damn Harry Potter. I knew you was famous, I didn't know you was fine." Coco said.
A blush crept into the cheeks of The Boy Who Lived.
"And damn it all if he ain't humble." Oz said, "You might have a tough time with this one."
"Well, at any rate it's nice meeting you all. But we have a train to catch." Hermione didn't ignore the way Ron and Harry were staring at the two girls.
Ginny rolled her eyes and tossed her hair and pushed her cart along on behind Hermione as she went through the barrier to the platform nine and three fourths.
"So that's where it is!" Oz said.
"We were practically on top of it." Coco said wiggling her shoulders.
Ron blushed with Harry this time.
"American girls at Hogwarts–" Fred began.
"–makes for an interesting year I'd say." George concluded, following his sister through the barrier.
Fred shrugged and followed his brother.
"I guess I'm next, catch you on the flip side. Hold that for me playa." Oz said handing her owl to Ron who stared dumbly after her as she skated through the barrier.
"Would one of you strapping young men mind loading my things onto the cart." Coco said pointing to her mass of luggage.
"Bloody hell, you don't pack light do you girl?" Ron asked heaving a trunk up on to the cart, he and Harry had set the owls down a trunk ago.
Harry put the third trunk atop the second and then they threw her suitcases in as well.
"We'd better get going. We've got like five minutes." Harry said.
"I've got prefect duty, that's going to be loads of fun." Ron said rolling his eyes.
"Cheer up mate it'll be over soon." Harry said watching Coco push her cart through, he had a feeling she was putting a little extra swish in her hips for his benefit.
"Don't you try to take both of them, there's one for me and one for you. You'd bloody well better remember that." Ron said.
"Which one you want? Coco has already taken a liking to me, and I think you've got a think for Oz. What do you think of her?" Harry asked walking through the barrier.
"I don't know." Ron collected Oz's owl and walking through dragging his cart behind him.
"Well, you'd better find out…" Harry said as they stepped out and saw Draco Malfoy helping a very disgruntled Oz onto the train.
"I can do it myself!" she was shouting.
"Malferret is trying to beat you to the punch, luckily she seems smart enough not to be interested." Harry said.
"And what in the hell kind of name is Oz anyway?" Ron asked.
"I don't know, it's probably some crazy American name." Harry scoffed thinking of Coco, it rolled off the tongue so easily he could think of a few other things the American girl possessed that might roll of the tongue as well.
There was a line in front of the train and when they finally boarded Ron was whisked off by Hermione to sit in the prefect's compartment up front, Harry wandered to the back by passing the compartment in which Ginny sat with Neville Longbottom, Seamus Finnegan, Luna Lovegood, and Dean Thomas. He preferred the usual compartment in the back he frequented with the other two thirds of the Trio.
However he found another duo inside, Coca and Oz. He pushed open the door and let out a cloud of smoke, Oz was seated with her feet resting on her skateboard on the opposite bench her cat at her feet with a strange pipe up to her mouth. Coca was beside her curled up in front of a portable computer looking at him with a shocked expression.
"Don't stare close the door!" Oz coughed more smoke expelling from her lungs.
"Have a seat, we'd like to not get repoed before the year even begins." Coco explained.
Harry coughed, he'd never been able to stand the smoke from his uncle Vernon's pipe. This smoke was different, stronger, pungent and it made his lungs burn. It also made him giddy in the mellowest of ways.
"Repoed?" he asked.
"Put out." Oz said passing the pipe to Coco.
"Oh, what is that?" he said taking a seat on the vacant bench across from the girls as far away from the hissing black cat as he could.
"The finest of herb, my man. Want some?" Oz said.
"Uh…" he said watching Coco take a hit from the pipe.
"It's fun." Coco laughed coughing a bit letting more smoke fill the compartment.
"I guess I'll try it." Harry conceded taking the pipe she offered.
"You just want your lips next to mine, it's okay but I can think of much more fun ways to make that happen." Coco said right as he was taking a hit from the pipe.
Once Harry settled down from the coughing fit that ensued he wasn't sure if it was from the smoke or because of her comment they all took turns with the pipe and talking about the girls arrival in England.
The cat was still hissing at him but he now found amusing as they were all laughing and Harry really didn't know why. He hadn't really laughed since the death of his godfather Sirius Black.
"Cracker!" Oz shouted at the cat who merely glared at her, "Don't make me bust you in the head with my good pipe."
"The cat's name is Cracker? Like those salty biscuits?" Harry asked laughing.
"No, like a white person." Oz said as seriously as she could muster.
Coco giggled in the corner, "After all these years that shit is still funny. You wanna meet my puppy?"
"Yes, what an adorable doggy." Harry said looking down at the dog who'd moved up on to the girl's lap.
She held him up a bit the dog looked nearly suffocated as she held him tight to her more than ample bosom. Harry didn't know if he should be staring at the dog or the girl's cleavage, either way no one complained.
"His name is Hasslehoff." Coco said.
Harry raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"Like the Baywatch dude." Oz explained.
"I know what Baywatch is my uncle watched it every afternoon for the better part of five years. He was obsessed with Pamela Anderson." Harry said.
"That's funny dude." Oz had put away her pipe and was scratching away with quill and parchment, the baggie of weed lay half empty and partly open beside her.
Halfway through the ride there was knock at the door, it was the lady with the snack trolley.
Oz panicked, and threw the baggie at Coco. Who threw the baggie into Harry's lap.
"From my hood to yours." Coco said.
Harry panicked and stuffed the baggie into his pants, as he didn't think to put it in his pants pocket just as the old witch pushed open the door. Coco was frantically spraying out some no doubt expensive perfume.
"Anything from the trolley dears?" she asked.
Coco set the dog and the computer down on the seat between herself and a still lazing Oz and launched herself at the doorway.
"I want a Milky Way. Three Snickers, bag of Doritos Nacho Cheese not that Cool Ranch shit. Two Reese's Cups, a Payday, and another bag of Doritos some jelly beans, a Dr. Pepper and Sprite,"Coco told the witch, "What you want Harry, I got this…"
"I'm sorry Dearie we don't have any of that…and I thought Milky Way was our galaxy." The old witch said.
"What you got then?" Coco said rolling her neck.
The witch explained patiently before being interrupted.
"Just give me one of everything, and what you got to drank?" Coco interrupted rudely.
"Pumpkin juice." The old witch said.
"We'll take three. And give me a bottled water for my dog."
"That'll be five galleons, thirteen sickles, and five knuts."
Coco smiled and pulled out her blue American Express card, "Bam! Charge it!"
"I'm sorry we don't take…what is that? I need galleons sickles and knuts."
"You're nuts." Coco said.
"She wants cash I guess." Oz said pulling a bunch of wrinkled money out of her pocket handfuls at a time dropping it on the seat.
It was American currency, Harry laughed and took care of it while they were figuring out what witch said they owed. He closed the doors taking the extreme amount of treats.
"It's alright ladies I took care of it." He said.
"Good, I thought we might have to be washing dishes or something." Oz said.
"I don't do dishes, fresh manicure, hello." Coco brandished her perfect manicure.
Harry laughed.
"Anyway, I thought American Express was everywhere you want to be…I'm outrageous." Coco said.
"You mean outraged?" Oz asked.
"No, I'm outrageous, like Britney Spears back when she was good." Coca said striking a pose.
"When was that?" Oz questioned.
"I like her music." Harry said.
Oz just shook her head, "You need to listen to some ICP that'll get you right. That teenybopper parade has got both of you all off track. If I prayed I'd pray for ya."
Oz had gone back to her writing when the door opened again this time it was Ron and Hermione. Ron looked like he'd run a marathon.
"Hi dudes. What's cracking?" Coco said perkily as she rose to sit beside Harry.
Ron shook his head, "That was two of the most mind numbing hours of my life."
"It was four hours long Ron." Hermione said sitting on Harry's other side, earning her a glare from Coco.
"I fell asleep like two hours ago, you didn't notice?" Ron said moving to sit next to Oz not noticing the cat there he did notice when the cat hissed and swiped at him.
"I would have woke you up." Hermione said.
"Will you call that ruddy beast off so I can sit?" Ron asked.
"If you tell me what ruddy means." Oz smiled.
"Alright. Later okay." Ron rather liked the promise of having later with Oz.
"Cracker, chill." She told the cat who indignantly jumped off the bench onto the floor to curl up at the girl's feet.
"I'm glad we put all our junk away or else there would hardly be room for everyone." Coco said.
"There you are talking about our junk, all my stuffs shrunk and in this bag." Oz pointed out.
"Whatever." Coco said.
"What's all this?" Ron asked picking up all the currency that was still laying on the bench.
"You forgot that didn't you?" Coco asked.
"Oh, that's dolla dolla bills." Oz said.
"You're Queen is rather mannish." Ron said inspecting the bills.
"That's G.W. A true playa." Coco said.
"He was the first president of the United States, Ronald." Hermione said dryly.
"You can learn that in any first grade class all across America. Thanks for taking us back Hermione." Oz said dryly.
"Hermaphrodite." Coco faux sneezed.
"Bless you." Hermione said cheerily, only Oz got the joke.
For a few minutes the compartment was silent except the scratching of quill on parchment, Coco had some how managed to get her fingers entangled with Harry's as they sat there neither speaking only Coco dared to glance at him he was much to shy. Hermione was looking over a text book Ron was gazing at Oz.
"I don't mean to be rude but what is that awful smell?" Hermione asked wrinkling her nose at Oz.
"Don't look at me like that I don't stink. And that's cat food by the way." Oz said.
"I own a cat and I've never smelled food like that." Hermione said.
"It's a special herbal blend I suppose." Harry said.
"You're catching on already." Coco said, before the three who'd been smoking in the compartment earlier started laughing.
"What's so bloody funny?" Ron demanded.
"We had little fun while you two were defecting. And what in the hell is defect?" Coco asked.
"It's a prefect, and just wait till you get sorted so I can figure which house you'll be in so I can take points from you. Prefects enforce rules, and you two seem like the sort to break them. For the sake of the House Cup I really hope you aren't in Gryffindor." Hermione sassed.
"Oh no she didn't." Coco said.
"Yes, she did. Are you going to let her talk to you like that?" Oz asked.
"That wasn't very nice Hermione." Both Ron and Harry chided before Coco could respond.
"You'd better be changing into your robes, I expect we'll arrive shortly. You do have robes don't you?" Hermione asked.
Coco shot out of her seat, before rummaging through a small overnight bag. And pulling out a perfectly pressed uniform and some robes before she began to lift her tank top over her head.
Ron sat gaping like a fish stuck landside. Harry flushed scarlet and watched her pull it off over head out of the corner of his eye. Once she'd successfully pulled off the shirt she began to unzip her pants.
"I have never seen a more vulgar display in this compartment in the six years I've ridden it, you do know we have a loo for that?" Hermione said.
Coco made a point to ignore the bushy haired girl for a moment, "Aren't you going to change Oz?"
Oz shrugged and pulled a wrinkled robe out of her bag and pulled it over the clothes she was wearing, "They'll never suspect a thing."
"Oh okay," Coco said before finally addressing a livid Hermione.
Coco looked anything but imposing standing what Harry could guess was five feet and two inches, and clad in just a red lace brassiere a half unbuttoned pair of jeans with her hand on her hip but her tone of voice however was sickly sweet.
"What in the hell is a loo? And why do I have to go in there, are you afraid that Harry is actually going to notice a girl with actual breasts?"
Hermione gaped, and turned redder than Ron's hair.
"The loo would be the bathroom, and remember what I told you about mixed company?" Oz said.
Coco looked confused for a moment before responding sheepishly, "Yeah, you said don't make fun of the snotty nosed mixed kids 'cause I might have a little half white baby myself one day."
"No, remember about boys and girls, and how we're different." Oz said.
"Yeah, those differences are fun." Coco said enthusiastically.
"Coco! You're smarter than you look, you know what I'm saying." Oz said.
"Oh alright, okay then Hermione you need to go." Coco said.
"Excuse me?" Hermione asked with a confused look on her face.
"She said I don't need to change with boys in the room. So if they gotta go you gotta go too." Coco said with attitude.
"Humph." Hermione said stomping from the room.
Harry pushed Ron out behind her, "Mate, you act like you've never seen a bra before."
"Not with the boob meat in it." Ron said.
"We'll see you in a few," Harry said casting a last glance at Coco, this time he was looking at her face.
By the time Coco finished brushing her hair and dressing the train was slowing, Harry and Ron reentered clad in uniforms and robes.
"Where's Hermione?" Coco asked, "I thought we were getting along wonderfully."
"She's with Ginny and the others, we've arrived at Hogsmeade Station. We've just got word you two get ride in the boats." Ron said looking expectantly.
"Yay. Boat ride! I like boats, Daddy has a yacht. Remember when we stole it in ninth grade?" Coco asked Oz.
"We can't talk about that the statue of limitations is not up on that crime." Oz said.
"Riight." Coco responded as they exited the train.
"The only problem with the boat ride, is that you'll ride with the first years." Ron said.
"Ugh freshmen." Coco said.
"This is where we leave you." Harry said ushering the girls over to a line of kids that couldn't have been more than twelve.
"Bye, Sexy, I'm going to see you later." Coco called after Harry earning him some catcalls from the twins as he and Ron followed the older red heads to the carriages.
"These aren't freshmen, these are the beginners, and we're stuck with the toddlers." Oz said surveying the children the large man had told them to line up.
"Nothing more than babies I say." Coco said.
"We were that young when we started." Oz said.
"Please, I was already a c cup." Coco said looking at the tiny boats.
"Oh my stuff it'll sink those little dingies, I thought we'd be on a yacht." Coco whined.
"Suck it up queenie." Oz said.
"Alright, my name is Rubeus Hagrid and I'm groundskeeper here at Hogwarts. I teach Care Of Magical Creatures. Don't worry about your things they'll be brought up for you."
"If he's not going to shower and shave, I won't be taking that class." Coco said.
"He might be a bit different, but all in all he seems like a solid dude." Oz said.
"Rock solid. He real tall." Coco said not paying attention to the speech the giant man was giving.
"I know and you're an elf would ya pay attention. He's talking to us. He's saying we get our own boat. They go four to a boat and we get our own, which would be really sweet if I had my weed." Oz complained.
"Is he saying we're like fat or something?" Coco asked stepping into the boat careful not to trip in her three inch heels.
"But you gave my bag to that that little boy." Oz continued to complain ignoring Coco.
"Don't you have more, you're always holding like Holden Caulfield." Coco said.
"Not on me, and since you gave up my goodies you know what I'm left with…an empty pipe." Oz said, "And this is the perfect way to christen our first ride to Hogwarts with a couple of good tokes while no ones looking."
"But now I'm going to have to smoke some resin!" Oz said pulling out her pipe.
Coco made the talky symbol with her hand and rolled her eyes and stared out into the black lake, it was peaceful under the stars. The sun had set hours ago.
"We've been on that train for like ever…it feels good to be outside." Coco said.
When Oz didn't respond she noticed the girl reverently trying to scrape more smokeables.
"Keep going with your boring narrative." Oz said.
"It'd be cool to do it with Harry on a boat like this." Coco said, "I wish he could ride with us."
"Gross, and I'd be stuck here while you're riding him two feet away, but at least I'll have actual weed to help me cope through the traumatizing situation." Oz said.
"Would you let it go?" Coco said.
"Why? You just gave away the finest weed money can buy to that little skinny British kid. Cause he's got the messy black hair and the piercing green eyes, and you keep thinking with your vajj! And gave away all my weed." Oz said stamping her feet and throwing her pipe on the seat beside her.
"Whatever, it's not like you bought it anyways," Coco said as the boats came to a stop on the other side of the lake.
Standing, they both exited the boat following the first years up the slope to the school. The two talked amongst themselves as Hagrid led them up to the school. The school was beautiful and a lot less modern than Salem had been, there were no holograms that talked there nor was there a moving escalator in sight.
"How do you expect me to walk up those stairs in these shoes?" Coco said.
"That's blasphemy 'cause I'm lazy too." Oz said.
"This place is really old, and I don't think it has electricity, I pray it has running water, I know a charm that'll keep my laptop functioning, but that means I lugged around the adaptor for nothing." Coco said.
"Cry me a river," Oz said leaning against the wall as they were told to stop by an older woman who introduced herself as Professor Minerva McGonagall.
"Does anyone have any questions?" The Professor asked.
"Yeah, why we out here with the babies Minerva?" Coco asked raising a hand.
"Firstly, you will address me as Professor McGonagall. Secondly, do away the attitude, though the two of you are in your fifth year you still must be sorted into houses."
"What if I like Minerva better, it makes me feel we have closeness…a bond." Oz stopped to tap her chest with her fist, "You're in my heart, and you are now one of my road dogs."
There were lots of murmurs from the first years, and Minerva gaped at them, Coco was laughing.
"You will call me Professor McGonagall and I am not your road dog whatever that means." The woman said sternly her lips thinning.
"Why do we have to be sorted, we're people we don't need to put into neat little squares so you can file us away like paperwork or something. We didn't have houses at Salem the administers felt it was limiting us to simply one kind of thinking, dividing us from our class mates, stopping us from forming friendships with others." Oz said.
"Be that as it may you are no longer at Salem, need I remind you why you're not attending there this semester. Now please follow me into the hall to be sorted into your houses." Professor McGonagall said leading them into the hallway her robes sweeping behind her.
Coco saw Harry Potter leaning against a wall looking bored with the whole thing. Coco decided not to follow the other first years but instead she slinked over to Harry and with a big smile she slid hand down his chest opening his robes and sliding a hand down into his uniform pants and pulling out the baggie, and quickly passing it to Oz who was a step behind her.
Whispers broke out in the Great Hall, Coco didn't realize this because she was gazing into Harry's green eyes.
"I'm just getting back what was mine maybe next time I can play with what you've already got there." Coco said deliberately patting his chest.
"Take your seat Mr. Potter." Minerva boomed.
Minerva McGonagall was on the scene quick fast and in a hurry, she strode over and took both girls by the ear and led them over to a stool with an old conical hat on it.
"You'll be sorted first so I can figure out which houses to take points from." The woman hissed.
"Ow, dude. You're harshing my mellow." Oz said.
"Collins, Clarissa." Minerva said picking up the hat, pushing the chocolate skinned girl on to the stool and placed the hat on her head.
"Well, you've got a ready mind but it seems you don't have the time. Ravenclaw wouldn't be a good fit. You've got some nerve, you're about as bold as any witch I've seen but I don't think Gryffindor would be your thing. You're loyal to a fault, but you would get into so much trouble in Hufflepuff. You've got style and cunning I know just the place for you," The hat purred in her ears while she blinked confusedly up at it before it shouted, "SLYTHERIN!"
"What is a Slytherin?" Coco asked Minerva as she pushed towards the now booming Slytherin table.
"Ozwald, Bailey. Sit child," Minerva said pushing Oz down on the stool slamming the hat that she'd abruptly snatched off of Coco's head onto Oz's.
"Call me, Oz, if you please." Oz told the woman.
"You've got a ready mind and you're willing to spend the time, Ravenclaw is your best bet. For in Slytherin those you'll have to outwit will curse you to the root. Gryffindor wouldn't be best to put your courage to the test. In Hufflepuff things might get a bit boring, and you'll feel the need to shake things up. Ravenclaw it is."
"RAVENCLAW!" it shouted.
"What does this mean?" Oz asked as she was shoved violently off the stool and towards a table of bronze and blue by Minerva.
Taking her seat at the table Oz looked over to see a very pale very blonde girl with a mystic sort of look in her eyes. The pale girl was being teased by an overly made up Asian girl who was saying something about "Loony Lovegood" The blonde girl didn't seem to even know that she was being teased.
"Hello there I'm Luna Lovegood and you must be Bailey my new roommate Professor Dumbledore already told me all about you" said the girl seated next to her
"Ok I'll let you off with a warning this time since we have to live together and all but my mother doesn't even call me Bailey, please call me Oz." Oz said before she stood and walk over to the Slytherin taking a seat next to Coco completely ignoring the fact that Luna was following her or the stares that they were getting for leaving their table. But no one said anything not even Minerva.
Coca scooted down making room for the two Ravenclaws at the table, "Girl, don't even worry about that old funky hat, it stank anyway. We're still going to be girls despite this situation."
"I know, but it's going to be weird not being roomies and plus, as you can see I've developed a friend. Coco this is Luna. Loony this is Coco. No disrespect Luna but I'm going to have to call you Loony from now on. If you wanna roll deep you're going to need a nickname." Oz explained.
Luna smiled, "Alright…"
"She doesn't say much apparently," Coco said.
"Loony Luna at the Slytherin table I never thought I'd see the day!" a black boy with long dreads proclaimed from across the table.
"And just who the hell are you?" Coco asked.
"I'm Blaise Zabini. And you are Clarissa Collins according to Professor McGonagall. She really doesn't like you two." The boy smiled a dimple coming through as he did so.
"Fuck off Zabini." Coco said, "Minerva needs to get some dick in her life and leave us the hell alone for once."
"I'm going to get that old bitch high." Oz said, "Then she'll just look a hundred instead of like three fifty."
A blonde boy made his way from a few giggling girls at the end of the table stopping when he reached the odd trio at the Slytherin table.
"Move Loony!" the boy said his blonde hair falling into his pointed face.
"Don't you come around here disrespecting my friends Malfoy, or I'm going to kick your pale ass back to the end of the table." Oz said.
"Is that the pot calling the kettle white?" Coco said with a smirk.
Luna looked up with hazy eyes and said, "I've never heard it put that way before."
Malfoy bristled and walked over and sat beside Blaise.
"So do you ladies party?" Blaise asked.
"I done told you black bastard you need to shut up." Coco said.
During the meal and the next five speeches the two Slytherin boys tried to make conversation and were easily rebuffed mostly.
"Are you saying you're not even interested in conversation? One would think being new here you might want to make friends with the right sort of people. And if you haven't noticed, I run things around here. So Bailey I would appreciate if I am treated with a bit more respect from now on. After all we're practically betrothed already." Draco said.
"Blonde bitch boy say what?" Coco asked.
"Listen Draco is it? They call me Oz, nobody, I mean nobody calls me Bailey." Oz said leaning over table menacingly, "Secondly, I don't see you running shit and third what the fuck?"
"Feisty, I like that in a woman. You get tired to girls that lie down and take it like Pansy over there." Draco said in his long slow aristocratic drawl.
"Listen boy, what do you mean by betrothed." Oz said turning paler if that was possible.
"My father is owling your parents to set up some kind of arrangement between our families it would be lovely European pureblood and American pureblood. Think of the children." Draco said.
"I don't even want to think about those transparent ass kids you can see the veins pumping blood inside them." Coco muttered, earning herself glare from Oz.
"How do you know I'm pureblood and why do you think my parents would force me to marry the likes of you?" Oz asked.
"My father is governor of the school you see, he knows everyone that goes here and their heritage. Just why pray tell would you not want to marry me?" Draco said.
"Whatever playa, you ain't gonna be getting none here, I don't roll like that." Oz said.
"A challenge I like that." Draco said.
"Ooh, I think he's feeling you girl." Coco said as if Draco weren't sitting beside them.
"I think I'll go for that little red haired boy, Ron." Oz said, "Draco is an asshole."
"He cute too, but I got my eye on Harry Potter." Coco said.
"Why are we still sitting here then let's go over?" Oz asked, "Wanna come Luna?"
"Alright I have a friend in Gryffindor I'll introduce you." The pale blonde said her eyes coming a little more focused.
"Okay let's go post up on top of these little white boys." Coco said.
"But I'm a little white boy…" Draco protested as the two girls made their way over to the Gryffindor table.
"What about some love to your race Coco? What about some pussy for Zabini!" Blaise shouted.
There were quite a few catcalls a few shocked expressions but the shock only continued as the girls made their way over to the Gryffindor table. Hermione had just gone with Ginny to the restroom and there were three vacant seats near Ron and Harry. There was a black haired boy at the end of the table that everyone was giving awkward looks to there was a seat between the boy and Ron Weasley, next to Ron was another empty seat Oz claimed that seat, beside her was Harry Potter.
Coco wasn't playing she took a seat on Harry's lap earning herself a gasp from the awkward looking bucktoothed boy beside him.
"I told you I'd see you later sugar." Coco said.
Harry smiled and tried not blush, he was terribly nervous about having a girl in his lap he had no idea what to do with his hands, and what if he got an untimely erection? What would the straightforward American girl think of him then?
Luna took the vacant seat across from Ron, next to a boy who looked at her as if she were the devil herself.
"Hello Dean." Luna waved at him ignoring his questioning stare completely.
"Peep this, I know that you are the only kids in school that will tell me what's really hood around here. That little blonde asshole over there is trying to marry me. Minerva done lost her damn mind." Oz began to explain to Ron who looked at her shocked it as was lot information to process, "And she stuffed my weed down his pants."
"It wasn't like he didn't have no draws on or nothing." Coco said.
"It still has ball sweat on it. I don't know if I want to smoke this." Oz said.
"When have you turned down weed no matter the condition of it?" Coco asked seeing Oz was already taking her pipe out.
"Is that cannabis?" Ron asked.
"Yes, have you met Mary Jane before she's my main thang?" Oz said.
"We've been trying for weeks to get more of that stuff!" the older Weasley boys exclaimed from down the table.
"We'll I know some good suppliers they are my folks. You smoke out?" Oz asked.
"Whenever we get the chance. It gets you high something wicked." The twins explained.
"We've done it once or twice. My mom keeps some around incase she gets pregnant again." Ron explained, "We usually make a potion with it to cure nausea."
"It's usually used for coping with nausea and loss of appetite why would you smoke it though?" the bucktooth boy asked.
"That's Neville Longbottom, he's a herb head and not the kind you guys are." Harry explained.
"You're becoming quite fond of the subject yourself Mr. Potter." Coco said.
"Look what you did you've gone and made that little boy blush…" Oz said.
"I'm going to do a lot more than just make him blush." Coco said grinding on him like a stripper.
"Coco…I…don't… think… that… is…such…a… good… idea…" Harry said holding his breath between each word as he tried to stave off an erection.
"It's okay if you like it, you don't have to be shy, I don't bite unless you ask." Coco said.
Oz looked at Ron shrugging, "Can you believe this girl."
Ron blushed, he wondered if the other American girl was so forward.
"Excuse me, I believe your sitting in my seat." A clipped female voice came from behind Oz.
Oz smirked, "You snooze you lose playa, and I mean that."
"You're in Ravenclaw! What can't you sit at your own damn table?" Ginny Ron's sister shouted from behind them.
With an effortless move Coco slid into another position on Harry's lap so she could glare at the two Gryffindor girls, "I can't see how is that any of your business…"
"You are taking up our seats at our house table, you are using my friend as if he's some kind of chair, and you look like a slut." Hermione huffed.
"You're to scared to make a move on Ron and you can't stand to see someone else doing what you've been dreaming of doing since you've met him." Harry said, "Coco isn't a slut she's just a bit forward, and I like that."
"Humph…" Hermione said and with a flash of bushy brown hair she was gone Ginny trialing behind her.
"Well that's over back to reality, it's time to load my pipe. Want to help?" Oz asked Ron.
"How am I going to help we always rolled it in cigarillo paper." He explained.
"I can teach you a lot of things." Oz said with a wink as she whipped her pipe out of her robes, the curious Gryffindors and the misty eyed Ravenclaw crowed around to watch her.
Harry and Coco had other things on her mind she was playing in his messy dark locks and he was playing with her blonde braids.
"Do you like me as blonde because I can take these out?" Coco asked.
"I think you look smashing as a blonde." Harry said.
"Is there a chair shortage? Everyone is huddled in one spot or taken up residence on someone's lap gyrating." McGonagall's voice cut through the din, "Ms. Collins get off the boy this instant." Minerva stated firmly.
"Sup Minerva. H–how you feeling? W–what you seen when you come over here?" Oz asked having already palmed her pipe.
Minerva ignored her, "I'm taking thirty five points from Slytherin. Another twenty five from Gryffindor and ten from Ravenclaw for not sitting with your houses and allowing yourselves to be part of this ruckus." Minerva said, "Ms. Lovegood I expected more from you."
"Now for the punishment, all of you would be serving detention with our new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, Mr. Fuller."
A tall wondrously attractive man stepped from behind Minerva and both Oz and Coco started squealing.
"OH MY GOD!" Coco shouted.
"I don't believe it!" Oz said.
"Are you Drew Fuller? Like the Drew Fuller, Witchlighter Season Six Charmed?" Coco asked.
"One in the same. Not only did I play a witch on TV but I'm a Wizard in real life. I graduated from your former school Salem." Drew said with a smile.
"We're like your biggest fans we both have the box sets from that season, and I don't even own a DVD player." Oz said.
"You know him?" Harry asked.
"We don't know him but we seen him on TV. All twenty three glorious episodes of him…" Coco gushed looking dazed.
"He's an actor?" Harry asked, "And a Wizard."
"It's not uncommon back home to have a day job in the Normal world and be a Wizard as well." Drew shrugged, "I wanted to do something fulfilling instead of preen in front a camera."
There were camera flashes and the sound of a shutter clicking, and Drew struck a pose with a slightly miffed Minerva.
"Not again." Ron moaned placing his head in his hands.
Harry rolled his eyes, "Do you fancy this bloke?" he asked Coco.
"He's like ten years older than me and now my professor. He's a dream." Coco said.
"Yeah a wet dream." Oz said.
"You can solve your relationship problems on your own time Mr. Potter. But you'll be serving detention tomorrow night with Professor Fuller, you understand."
There was a collective groan from the table.
"You mean we all have detention?" the black haired boy from the end of the table asked.
"Yes, Mr. Thomas I expect you to be there. All of you, right Weasleys?" Minerva asked.
"Yes, Professor McGonagall." All three boys chorused.
"Peep game Minerva, um I got some things to do tomorrow so could we post pone this little detention? My momma and them are coming into town via teleportation key tomorrow for our monthly dinner." Coco said.
"Well, your mother will just have to wait and for the last time address me as Professor McGonagall." The woman sneered at them above her glasses. "You will all return to your common rooms at this time, dinner for you all is over." With that the professors were both gone with a swish of robes from Minerva and the sound of Drew's expensive shoes clicking on the floor.
"Guess we'd better get going. I can't have another detention. We've got plans Sunday." Fred said.
"Big plans." George added with a wink as they walked away.
"Well thank you Little Miss Run and Tell, you've got us all detentions are you happy?" Ron demanded of Hermione who was actually smirking.
"Yes, I am," she said flouncing over to the other end of the table.
Neville got up, and walked away with his head down.
"Neville. Don't be angry with us, we didn't mean to get you in trouble." Harry offered as Coco vacated his lap.
"It's no bother, it might be fun eh?" Neville said with a wink before walking away.
"I figure it'll be big fun, Professor Fuller seems really cool." The dark haired boy identified as Mr. Thomas followed Neville.
"Later Dean."
"Well, we're off. Follow me Oz. I'll show you to the Ravenclaw dormitory." Luna said her eyes now focused as she took Oz's hand and began prancing away with the reluctant skater girl.
"Help!" Oz whispered pleadingly at Ron who shrugged with a smirk.
"I guess someone's got a new girlfriend." Ron winked.
"You can't be serious." Oz said.
"I'm only joking, I thought you were known for your American style humor." Ron asked.
"Good cause I'd punch you for that." Oz said as she was lead out of the room.
"Look I'm supposed to go to this Slytherin dorm thingy and I don't know where it is. Could you take me?" Coco asked Harry with a pout.
"Alright." Harry said, "Ron I'll meet you a bit later in the common room okay."
"Okay mate, be sure to take the long way." Ron winked as the final three parted ways.