Some nights you just want to flush out of your brain and pretend shit never happened. No such luck this time. These were the days I missed working vice. At least then, when I was forced to rub elbows with gang members and drug dealers, they used to still be breathing. I've always hated gang cases, but this one was worse than usual. This had escalation written all over it. And now the feds were involved. Climbing up my ass and taking over my case. Like it was my job to be their fucking errand boy. Christ.
Last night was the worst. And not just because somebody thought it made a statement to hack up five bodies and leave one without a head. I'd seen grizzly crime scenes before. No, it was the implications this time. A drug cartel calling card. And the fact that fucking Manoso was involved. As if I didn't see too much of that asshole already.
He'd shown up at my crime scene last night, like he'd had a right to be there just because he's buddies with the local FBI director and the mayor. Adding insult to injury after he'd been out with Steph again. The fact they were working a case didn't make it any less of a fucking date. And from what I'd heard, they'd been just shy of dry humping on the dance floor getting Thatch's attention. Then when he showed up at my crime scene an hour later, he was looking just a little smug and smelled like Steph and sex. A particular perfume I'd know anywhere.
Shit. When I'd told Steph during that fight a few months back that maybe we should see other people, this isn't what I'd had in mind. I'd just wanted to take a step back. Slow things down again. We'd been fighting so much over stupid things, like her getting crap in the peanut butter and forgetting to buy bread. Couple stuff. I figured if we took a step back, things would relax again. Our relationship was at its best when it was a little more casual. Not so serious.
That, and it got me out of going to her mom's house every week for dinner. Her family is nice and all, but they're freakin' nuts. That was the first half funny thought I'd had in days. The smile was short lived, though. Before I could even enjoy it, my phone started ringing. Shit. What now?
I looked at the readout. Eddie Gazarra. Either he had some top quality gossip to spread around or this was about Steph. Who was I kidding. Even the top quality gossip was almost always about Steph. I answered it. "This better be good."
"Steph was just involved in shooting at the carwash on 3rd." My heart stopped beating. "She wasn't hurt as far as I could tell. Baller Thatch was gunned down in her passenger seat. One of Ranger's guys is driving him to St. Francis as we speak."
"I'm on my way," I said, flipping a U-ey.
"She's not here anymore. Ranger said he was taking her home."
Sonovabitch. Of course he was. That thug had been trying to toe his way between us for way too long. Fucking prick. It was only too clear that he wanted Steph for himself. I could see it every time he looked at me. Like I was a problem that needed removing. Yet he didn't even have the decency to make a move like a normal guy. He wanted her. Just not enough to put in the time and effort of a real relationship. He wanted to get into her pants. End of story. And that made him the worst kind of predator. I should know. It was my MO for years before I finally grew the fuck up.
I was waiting by the back door to her apartment building when that expensive piece of pussy bait he called a car revved into her lot. They were shocked to see me, but I didn't care. I tore Steph's door open and pulled her into my arms as fast as I could. As much to feel the reality of her as to get her away from him. The terror didn't hit fully until she was folded safe in my arms. "Eddie called me. Said you'd left the scene, so I came straight here." I looked down at her. God. She was covered in blood. "You're not—"
"I'm okay. It's not mine," she said.
I couldn't help but squeeze her tight. "Thank God." If it had been hers I might have lost it. I hated when Steph was hurt. Even a little bit. It was my job to protect her. Keep her safe from the bad things in the world. It killed me when I failed.
The driver's door opened and Ranger Manoso stepped out. His hard, blank stare telling me all too much. He wasn't any happier to see me than I was to see him. Well, he was right to think that. Not only had his reckless involvement with her put her in danger again, but I could see it all over his face that he hated my interrupting whatever perverse plans he'd had for her tonight. No doubt he'd intended to take Steph upstairs and have his way with her while she was vulnerable.
Not that he probably needed her to be vulnerable. I wasn't stupid. Steph couldn't hide her attraction to Ranger anymore than she could hide her love for me. She wore her emotions all over her face. Always had. I hadn't called her on it exactly, since it would have made it too real to have it out in the open like that, but I knew they'd fucked like rabbits in Hawaii. Shit. Given the tension my mere presence was causing, I wouldn't be surprised if they were still fucking like rabbits.
"I oughta kick your ass for this, Manoso. What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"It wasn't his fault, Joe. It was mine," Steph said. Trying to pull my ire away like the prick needed protecting. "I went to see Thatcher on my own. Ranger didn't even know Thatcher had called me."
"You should have asked for backup," I told her.
"I know. Ranger said the same thing."
Fuck. I hated having something in common with that asshole. I cut daggers at him. "I suppose he found you with that damn tracking system he's always sneaking onto your car?"
"Stephanie is fully aware of the GPS unit and where it is," Ranger said. Nothing but the darkness in his eyes suggesting a slip of control over his perfect Zen calm. "And yes. My control room noticed her double back and thought it was suspicious. We arrived just in time to see shots fired."
"You catch the sonofabitch?"
"One out of three. I hope to improve that ratio before the night's out. The gunman is already at St. Francis with a GSW to the chest."
"I'm surprised he's still breathing."
"Dead men can't give up their associates."
He said it with so little emotion that I had no doubt whatsoever that if it hadn't been the case, he'd have been all too happy to put a bullet between the guy's eyes. It was that kind of stone cold detachment that made me worry for Steph. Not that he'd ever hurt her. He'd walk through hellfire if Steph was in trouble. It was hard for me to admit sometimes that I wasn't her only hero. I was her white knight. But she had a black knight, too. One that would kill for her. Probably had. He'd protect her to his dying breath. I guess it was only fair I give him credit for that.
It took a lot of effort to unclench my jaw. "Thank you," I said. Hating that I actually meant it.
Ranger didn't look like he wanted my thanks, but he nodded anyway. Then his black eyes fell on Steph. Too masked in darkness to read. He hated that he had to leave her with me, but I wasn't about to just walk away. We both knew that. And if he tried to make me, things would get ugly again like they did in Hawaii.
He stared at her a moment and an unwelcome thought crossed my mind. Maybe his hesitance was as much out of fear as it was anger. He was just as afraid of losing her as I was. Jesus.
He didn't take his eyes from her when he spoke to me again. "She's on your watch." The words were cold and impersonal, but it was only too clear what he really meant. Hurt her and you're a dead man. I gave him a nod of begrudging respect. Holding Steph against my chest. And then I watched Ranger climb back into his Porsche and peel away.
God help the bastards he was off to hunt. From the look on his face, he'd be out for blood. And there was no question it was because of me.
I held onto Steph a little tighter than she would have liked when we turned to walk into her apartment. Couldn't help it. And not just because I knew if I hadn't shown up she'd have spent the night with Ranger. Knowing that stung. But knowing she could have been killed was worse.
Knowing it was only the Dark Knight's obsession with her that allowed her to keep breathing.
"Is it just me, or did that sound more like a threat than a passing of the baton?"
"He takes my safety very seriously."
"So do I, Cupcake, but I've never given someone the 'I'll gut you if you cross me' death stare. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm glad he was there to save your ass. I just wish you didn't need him to."
I used my key when we got to her door. She'd given it to me a while back, when things were better between us. More steady. Never asked for it back when things fell apart. And things had a tendency to fall apart. I can admit, I'm not always the most mature person when it comes to relationships. Didn't have a lot of practice before Stephanie. Hell, she was even more immature than I was. It was what made us so comfortable. We both kinda knew we wanted more someday. And we were equally freaked out enough that we weren't ready. In a perfect world, that would have let us relax. Take things slow.
In a perfect world, there wouldn't be any stalkers or drug wars or fucking Ranger Manoso making things complicated.
I made sure the door was secure before I brought her in the kitchen. Dropped her bag on the counter by Rex's cage. She was a mess. Didn't look worse for wear despite the bar fight I heard she'd started. No cuts or bruises. Just hands and clothes covered in someone else's blood. I lifted her hands to be sure. "How you holding up?"
All she could do was shrug. The damage was on the inside. She had such a tender heart. Even after doing such a hard and dangerous job for this long. That was the most surprising thing about Steph. She was strong. And resilient. And tough when she had to be. But inside, she was still just as soft and sweet as the girl I grew up with. The one who was free spirited enough to give me her virginity on the bakery floor. Fierce enough to run me over when I was too much of a prick to call after. Forgiving enough to look past it when I didn't have anyone else to turn to. Steph was the most incredible woman I'd ever known. And it killed me to see that sweetness hurt her. Her eyes welled up with tears.
"Shit." I folded her in my arms, unsure what else to do. I was always out of my depth when women cried. It wasn't something I could relate to. And Steph's tears were way worse. Because she was so strong inside that they only spilled over when she couldn't hold them in anymore. And it made me feel like shit that I couldn't fix it. "It's alright now, Steph. You're okay."
"What about Thatcher?"
"Thatcher will probably be okay, too." I knew it wasn't something I could really promise, but she didn't seem to mind the lie. She might be soft and sweet as a cupcake, but she was a smart cupcake. I rubbed her back, hoping the affection would calm her down. "Come on. Let's get you cleaned up. You'll feel better when you wash all that blood off."
She nodded in a numb kind of way. I brought her into her bathroom and turned on the shower for her. Got her a towel from the closet where she always kept them. She was still kinda detached. I caught her eye. "You look like you could use a beer. Want me to bring you one?" She shook her head. Didn't want a beer. If it was me, I'd want a beer. Or five.
I planted a kiss on her head and left her in the bathroom to get cleaned up. Unable to shake the haunted look in her eyes. I swear that woman gives me a heart attack at least once a week. Some days I wish I didn't love her so much. Wished she wasn't worth all the trouble she caused. But she was. Every bit of it. Maybe if I could get her to slow down, it might not be so hard. But I couldn't see Steph slowing down. She loved it too much. Got pissed at me every time I suggested she shouldn't be hunting down bad guys. And let's be honest. Even when she tries to quit, that shit still keeps dragging her back in. It's like she'd been marked by God to be an eternal fuckup.
I made some calls while she was in the shower. Talked to someone at the hospital. Thatcher was still in surgery. Too early to tell if he was gonna pull through. I was hoping for her sake that he did. Against all odds, she actually seemed to care if he lived or died. Just went to prove what a sweet girl she really is. Not a lot of people would show that kind of compassion for a drug dealer.
But then, all you had to do was look at her other choice of friends. Connie was old mob family. Lula used to be a hooker. And then there was Ranger. That guy probably used to kill people for a living. And I don't mean in combat like other soldiers. I mean like the sniper/assassin kind of kill people. I don't think he did it anymore. At least not since Abruzzi. But it was easy to see the darkness behind his eyes. It was the kind of darkness you had to earn.
Steph had a talent for seeing the good in people. Something I had to be grateful for, considering I wasn't the most dependable guy growing up. If she was willing to overlook my faults, I guess it was only fair if she overlooked the faults of others. Maybe even Manoso's.
The tap turned off in the shower. She'd be coming into the bedroom naked. Gotta admit, just the thought of Steph naked makes me hard. Always has. But I didn't think it was something she'd be up to. I mean, if she was I'd be all over her in half a second. I just didn't think it was gonna happen that way tonight. Especially if she really has been screwing Ranger.
It wouldn't last if she was. Steph wasn't the bed warming type. She couldn't do regular sex without some kind of commitment. Steph was crazy and fun and impulsive, and she had almost no self control. I'd always liked that about her. And I can admit it worked to my advantage a lot, since her sex drive was almost as high as mine. It was one of the things that made us so compatible, in the bedroom at least. But Ranger. He'd just take what he wanted from her and push her back in my direction like he'd done before.
At least I was pretty sure. It was the only explanation for him being so attached to her without doing anything about it.
The worst thing was… I knew that she was in love with him. At least on some level. I'd known it ever since that night he was shot in her apartment. Steph had been through all kinds of traumatic things and bounced back. Handled it like a champ. But she fell apart when she thought Ranger might die. Like, full blown panic attack inconsolable kind of falling apart.
And if I'm being completely honest, I'm pretty sure Ranger feels something for her too. If he's still capable of feeling. He went machine state when she'd gone missing the night before he was shot. He was scary as hell. Running without food or rest. Not even sure he was breathing. I'd tried to tell myself it was because his daughter was still missing. But it wasn't. It was because of Steph.
And after the fight in Hawaii. I'd seen it then too. It was like I'd been the outsider. The jealous ex who had barged into their romantic vacation and punched her lover in the face. When we were waiting in the hospital, Ranger hadn't spared me a thought. Like I wasn't worth his anger or his pity. He'd only had eyes for Steph. And she'd looked at him with the same guilt and shame as she had me.
Yeah. There was something between them alright. Damned if I knew what it was.
Maybe they didn't know what it was either.
I thought she'd come back out into the kitchen when she was dressed, but the apartment had gone too quiet. Nothing but the little squeak of Rex's wheel. I took some cheerios out of the box on the counter and dropped a few into his dish. After a few more minutes, I thought I oughta check on her. I tapped lightly before I walked into her bedroom and found her fast asleep on her bed.
I stripped down and crawled in next to her. Like normal. Covered her with the blanket before I gathered her into my arms. Brushed her soft curls back from her beautiful face.
She used to be all mine. Once upon a time. But not anymore. I knew it wasn't all my fault. Ever since Ranger had started mentoring her, Steph had been on a path I couldn't follow. It brought her closer to me for a while. Gave her wild, reckless side a chance to fly. She was changed because of it. They were good changes. She's always been adventurous and daring. It only made sense she'd get off on the danger of skip tracing. But she'd grown so much that she was sprinting now. And I was struggling like hell to hold onto her. I love her more now than I ever did. But no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to keep her safe.
As much as I hate it, she needs Ranger. To protect her from the path he helped to set her on.
I just hoped the man still had enough conscience left to protect her from himself.
