Title: Skin Deep
Pairing: Kyo/Yuki
Rating: M
Warnings: Reference to torture/punishment.
Author's Note: This started out as something to just get me back into the writing mode before continuing with Chapstick, but as I kept writing, I got more and more into it. I really like it.
Summary: The first time Kyo sees Yuki naked they are only ten, and it's awkward and curious and innocent all rolled up into one. Ten years later, Kyo sees Yuki naked, and this time he's lost count, but he thinks that the story of someone's life is only skin deep.
- 1 -
The first time Kyo sees Yuki naked they are only ten, and it's awkward and curious and innocent all rolled up into one. It was a time when they first began to train together, when small bodies were first beginning to stretch and small muscles were first beginning to build and tone under pale, tender skin. When small, damaged lungs can't support physical exertion and Kyo finds his partner as a tiny grey lump under a pile of white clothes.
Kyo doesn't remember exactly how long his transformation lasted or exactly what shade of alabaster Yuki's skin was, but he thinks that maybe the rat hasn't lived the life the old story tells. Kyo is sure that before Yuki quickly pulled his robe back on he saw dark, red and purple marks like fingers wrapped around the rat's arms.
- 2 -
The second time Kyo sees Yuki naked they are thirteen, and Kyo hasn't seen Yuki in over a year. Both have grown older. One sadder, both stronger. Kyo thinks the sparring isn't the same this time. He has trained harder, but Yuki has gone further, and the rat has outdone him just a little more this time.
This time Kyo doesn't witness Yuki's nudity because of the curse. Kyo remembers seeing Yuki go to Akito's room after their fight and wondering why the head of the family would need him. A few minutes later, when the cat dares walk by the room to reach the training grounds again, the rat is shoved out of that dark room, naked, and he just barely grabs Kyo before he hits the cold, wooden floor.
It's dark in the corridor, but Kyo is sure that those are vertical and diagonal stripes running along the boy's bony back. As the rat scurries down the hall and slips into another room, Kyo tries not to think about the wet trails that glistened on Yuki's cheeks because everyone tells him that boys don't cry.
- 3 -
The third time Kyo sees Yuki naked they are both sixteen and at Shigure's house and some clumsy girl is responsible for their transformation. Kyo hasn't seen Yuki for four months, and this time, he thinks he's ready to battle Yuki again because he has a purpose. He has something to fight for. He has a life of solitary confinement waiting for him if he doesn't win.
This time, Yuki isn't the only naked one, and Kyo is facing away from him as he changes back. When the cat turns to gather his own clothes, he steals glances at the other boy's skin and sees light skin marred with even lighter scars. They look old, almost gone, and from his brief glimpse, he can see no fresh marks. Kyo wonders when Yuki last saw Akito.
- -
The fourth, fifth, and sixth times all blur into one as Kyo begins living at Shigure Sohma's house with Yuki and the girl from before, who has now become known as Tohru Honda. She always forgets or doesn't pay attention to where she's going, but Kyo is thankful for her presence. She's means well, and she gives Kyo innumerable chances to glimpse the ivory skin of his cousin.
By the end of his first month at his older cousin's house, Kyo has almost every scar on Yuki's body memorized. There are straight scars on his back, familiar ones that run parallel to his spine and diagonally from shoulder to hip. On his sides and chest, they are tiny crescents, and some of them extend down his abdomen, as though someone dug their nails in and simply dragged them down the frail boy's body. Kyo has no doubt in his mind about who that might have been.
Kyo knows that he has many scars as well, and he worries that maybe the rat has been watching him, too. Seeing his weaknesses and faults engraved in his skin. Kyo forgets that he has been staring at Yuki's naked form through his thoughts, and when he realizes that the boy has been watching him as well, he flushes and tears from the room, his own clothes clutched tightly in his hands. Another maladroit moment on Tohru Honda's part, but this time, Kyo feels slightly more exposed.
His skin was not the only thing laid bare. The eyes tell many stories.
- -
When Kyo is eighteen, he sees Yuki naked one last time before he leaves. He defeats Yuki the day before their graduation, and so, he has been given freedom from the cage. He decides to go to a university far away from his home with Shigure and Tohru. The Yuki goes unspoken in his mind.
By then, he has not only memorized the scars, but the curves of the muscles under pale skin, as well. He has watched this fair boy for years, and there is little left for him to learn. So when Tohru trips over her graduation gown on her way out the front door and bumps into the violet-eyed boy, Kyo is not surprised by anything he sees. But he stares, nonetheless, because even though he knows every part of his cousin, the boy is still beautiful. Yuki catches him again this time, but just like before, he doesn't say anything.
- -
Kyo is now twenty years old and standing before Shigure's front door. It has been two years since he left, and he hasn't been back a single time since. He has changed physically and outwardly, but inside, he knows that he's the same angry teenager that he once was. For some reason, the distance between himself and the Sohma family did not dispel his feelings of hatred.
Tohru answers the door when he knocks in her usually cheerful manner, eyes slightly wide with surprise as she recognizes him. Her arms wrapped around him reflexively in a tight hug, and he's not surprised to find himself still in her arms when the initial transformation is complete. She sets him down soon after and takes his clothes to the room that was once his before leaving him alone to finish the process. Still no cure for the curse.
Kyo is slightly surprised to see that his room really hasn't changed much at all. There are more books on his shelves, and upon further inspection, he realizes that Shigure has been placing all of his latest novels in the room for Kyo to peruse upon his return. What the dog does not know is that the cat already owns a copy of every single one and their spines are worn and the corners of the pages are wearing thin. But he appreciates the sentiment, in any case.
He feels slightly anxious as he changes back into his human form, and he does not realize why until he glances at his desk. There is a photo in metal black frame sitting in the center where he always used to work. There are three figures, one female and two males. Kyo is on Tohru's right, their hands clasped together. Yuki, the boy whose body Kyo couldn't clear from his mind, is on her left. Those feelings of hatred bubble back to the surface, and Kyo suddenly realizes what he has been waiting for.
The answer comes from Shigure, and Kyo rushes back upstairs, surprised that he hadn't looked there already. Yuki's room has always been across from Kyo's, and now the young man realizes that the door is slightly ajar. Over the course of two years, Kyo learned to have more self-confidence. He learned to seek what he desired, to make his own moves and accept whatever consequences there may be.
The door moves fluidly and silently under his hand as he pushes it inward, and he steps purposefully into the room. Yuki is standing with his back to the vermillion-eyed Sohma, a towel draped low across his hips. His hair has grown much longer and now brushes the tops of his shoulders. Soon, the towel is discarded and pale hands are reaching for a set of clothes before him on the bed. Kyo moves quickly and quietly with the grace of his inherited curse and captures the other man's hands in his own. They are every bit as soft as Kyo ever imagined.
"Please, not yet." They are soft and low, but Yuki hears them and turns his head to gaze at his cousin. His eyes hold understanding, and he slowly frees his hands to rotate before Kyo. The cat first notices the dark rings beneath the boy's, for that's all he seems to be, still just a fragile boy trembling under another's touch. Kyo's eyes travel down, and he sees small discolored patches of skin marring the boy's almost perfect skin. "What-?"
"Candles." Kyo is the one trembling now, his hands shaky as he skims them delicately along his cousin's body. "I waited."
Kyo is confused now, because he has never imagined a time when Yuki would allow him to be this intimate, be this close to him. He doesn't understand exactly what Yuki means, but he thinks that he has a general idea. "Akito-?"
"Can't have me anymore." Yuki tilts Kyo's head back up to meet his gaze. "I took care of that last month." His eyes are soft and deep and the cat is lost in them. "You were always watching. I was always waiting. You had to make the first move."
Suddenly, things are clear, and Kyo regrets never having touched the other like this before. His hands are shaky as they roam and touch and caress every part of his cousin. He's glad that he decided to shut the door behind him as he presses his cousin down into the mattress. Somewhere, he lost his clothes as well, and the warmth of Yuki's skin is something he was unprepared for.
- -
Hours later, Kyo is wrapped in his former rival's arms as he makes a decision that could change the rest of his life forever.
"Stay here with me, Kyo. Please, don't leave me again."