-Belle-
It was warm here, so wonderfully warm that she never wanted to be anywhere else. She let the warmth envelop her and watched as it slowly took the shape of a soft golden light that spun around her, wrapping her in sunlight itself. 'Oh yes.' She thought, as a smile crept to her lips, knowing exactly what would happen next. The man materialized out of the warmth, just like he did every night, and she smiled at him as he spoke to her. His voice was strange, both harsh and sad, but his words were wonderful and made her laugh, soon they were both laughing until finally he opened his arms and beckoned her to him. She wasted no time, and rushed to meet him, but just before she could touch him he evaporated like smoke and reality split her world in two.
"Gahhhhhhhhhds!" She screamed as she bolted awake, her head pounding so viciously she could think of nothing but the pain. She blinked reluctantly as the pain moved just behind her eyes, and she rubbed at them trying to press it away.
'Gods,' she thought again, 'Why does everything have to hurt so much?' The pain subsided to a dull aching throb and she tried to distract herself by concentrating on the dream she'd been having. It was the same dream she had every night, but she could never remember it. It was warm, she remembered that, a welcome escape from this horrid cold cell that they kept her locked up in, but there was more than that, a voice, a mans voice. What had it said? Ugh, why couldn't she ever remember? It was those horrible medications they slipped in her food, they kept her mind foggy and tortured her with headaches, which made thinking all but impossible.
A flap at the base of her cell door opened and a tray was pushed inside. She raised her head to see a bowl of thick greenish soup waiting for her and she grimaced before laying back down.
"EAT!" a sharp voice commanded and she jumped to a sitting position. She could hear the orderlies footsteps retreating down the hall and she stuck out her tongue before looking back down to the stew, wishing desperately that she didn't have to eat it. The food here was laced with sedatives that made her brain fog, her mouth dry, and made her sick to her stomach. But she had to eat it, because if you don't they hold you down and stick you full of needles; they call it doing it the easy way or the hard way.
She moved herself to the spot where the filtered sunlight hit the bed. It wasn't much but it was still slightly warmer than the rest of her cell. She hugged her knees to her chest and rested her head upon them. Her foggy thoughts wandering back to the voice in her dream, trying to remember what it had said to her.
Then suddenly, something happened.
A sudden rush of… well something, washed over her and she felt as though everything had changed, when in fact nothing had. Slowly she raised her head and looked around. What was different? She knew every inch of this cell, so why did it suddenly feel so foreign?
She looked at her hands with a sudden realization. It wasn't the cell that had changed, it was her, she had changed somehow. She felt different, so full of questions and curiosity. How long had she been there? What was her name? Why did they keep her locked up here? She wanted to remember! She wanted to remember everything!
"EAT!" The voice commanded again, and she jumped a little in surprise. She had almost forgotten where she was, in this cell where they forced you to eat, to sleep, and wouldn't even tell you your name. How could she remember anything while being kept in that place of perpetual fog?
She looked down at the little bowl, and made a sudden and rash decision.
This rush of rebellious energy made her almost giddy and she grabbed the little bowl and tipped its contents into the corner, just out of view. They would find it eventually and she would pay for this later, but right now she was thinking, and that was just too good to give up! Putting the bowl back in front of the flap, she drew herself to her spot and watched the bowl intensely. Her eyes flicked to the soup in the corner, which had begun running along the grooves in the floor and was making its way towards the flap!
She was just about to jump down to try and whisk it away with her foot when the flap opened up and a hand took the bowl right before the soup could touch it. She held her breath in anticipation. Did they know somehow, could they know she hadn't eaten it?
"Good Girl." The orderly said, and she could hear it being thrown it into a tub of used dishes as the footsteps retreating down the hallway. Once the steps couldn't be heard anymore she let out a high giddy laugh, which she quickly muffled with her hands, her whole body shaking with enjoyment! Man did that feel good!
'Okay,' she told herself 'don't waste this time, try and remember, what's your name? She began listing a few in her head.
'Lauren, Liza?… Eliza?…EL…' It wasn't right, but it was close. 'Ella?… El …Erica? No Elizabeth!' No. L… L… L… something with an L… was it the sound or the letter? L, Ell, Elle. Each time the sound hit her heart with small jolt of joy, someone had called her Elle once. Someone… Who?
Suddenly she heard them, sharp decisive steps barreling down the hallway and her whole body froze in fear. How had they found out so quickly?
'No,' she pled silently, 'No not yet. Please!' The door flew open and harsh fluorescent lights stung her eyes as a familiar silhouette stood before her.
The head nurse crossed her arms in the doorway, wearing the same facial expression she always wore. "Not hungry today?" she asked in a chillingly calm voice. She fixed the nurse with a cold hazy stare unsure of what to say. "I asked you a question girl." The head nurse demanded, tapping her foot. "Perhaps you're still asleep? Would a cold shower help wake you up?"
"No!" She rasped in a barely audible voice.
"Good." The nurse said walking in with a bowl in her hand, "Then Eat… Your… Food!" She shoved the bowl into her lap and slapped a spoon in her hand. She looked down at the bowl hesitantly, 'Why? Why did they always get to win?'
"EAT!" The nurse yelled suddenly, causing her to jump. She hung her head in defeat and dipped the spoon, drawing the slightest bit to her lips.
Why, why couldn't she win? Just once she wanted to win. Even a little victory would be better than nothing.
She paused then, the spoon hovering just in front of her mouth, "What's my name?" she asked suddenly causing the head nurse to tense ever so slightly.
The nurse stared her down, her gaze unwavering. "What's my name?" She asked louder, putting the spoon back into the bowl. Suddenly she didn't feel afraid of this woman; in fact, she was wiling to bet that this woman was growing a little afraid of her. She got to her feet and placed the bowl on her bed. "What's my name?" She demanded again walking deliberately towards the nurse who was backing towards the door.
"Orderly!" she shouted, not taking her eyes off of her.
"ELLE!" She shouted suddenly, making the head nurse jump, "ELLE, ELLE, ELLE, ELLE, ELLE, ELLE, ELLE!"
"ORDERLY!" the nurse shouted again; one came rushing in, syringe in hand.
"NO!" she shrank away from the needle, she didn't want to forget this, "ELLE!" she screamed again, "ELLE, ELLE, ELLE, ELLE, ELLE!" She would say it till it was ingrained in her memory. The Nurse went for her wrists, trying to hold her down, but she thrashed and kicked, landing a good one to the side of the Nurse's knee cap. The woman hit the ground swearing loudly. The orderly called for backup and soon more people had swarmed into the tiny cell. "ELLE!" She screamed as countless hands flew to restrain her, "ELLE, ELLE, ELLE, ELLE, ELLE, ELLE, ELLE!" She didn't feel the needle itself, but she felt the warmth as the sedative entered her blood stream, soon the haziness had enveloped her. "elle, elle… elle… elle." she continued to say even as the hands released her and everything faded into its normal fog.
"Get the mayor on the phone." She heard the head nurse say before everything went black, "tell her its urgent."