Promises

Promises

Author's note: Book II in The Gift series, story picks up right where Book I ended. Hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think. I so enjoy reading everyone's comments.

Promises

Part I

Sami held her composure until she safely entered the guest bedroom, making sure to lock the door behind her. She hastily grabbed some undergarments to put on and afterwards sought out to find a sweatshirt and sweatpants to put on. She needed something comforting to wear as the tears started to flow freely from her; the words EJ had said to her crushing her soul more than she had thought possible.

The man had the power to wreck her life once again with a few simple words. She wanted to scream, to break something, anything to release the anger that was growing inside her. She had been a complete and utter fool to believe that EJ could care for her, his words of love from the night before mistruths, she should have known better than to have followed her heart.

In seeking him out last night, she had dared to drop her guard against him. He hadn't changed, the words he had told her in the church the morning after Madison had been so sick in the hospital circled around her in a vicious circle, swooping in as she felt the despair creeping in upon her.

"So I see you do remember," EJ cut her a glare that hurt more than Sami wished he had the power to do so at the moment.

"EJ, we're different people now," Sami started to explain, only to have EJ roll his eyes at her.

"Oh really? You see, I think we are both still the same self centered selfish creatures we were then, only now we try to play nice with one another for Madison's sake so she won't see how truly awful we both really are." EJ held up the strands of Madison's hair he still had in his possession to examine them in the sunlight that was streaming through the stain glass windows of the church.

"EJ, please don't do this," Sami shook her head as she started towards him.

"You know I'm still the same man underneath it all and the only thing that has kept that man at bay is having Madison. I didn't want her to grow up in fear of me. She brought love into my heart when no one else even bothered to care. She is the only good and pure thing I have in my life and if I lose her there won't be any reason not to become that man again." EJ dropped her hair watching it fall to the floor as he dropped to his knees.

Sami rushed to him, "You have me EJ, you have me. Please you can't give up."

EJ shook his head sadly, "No, you were never mine. I wanted to love you, to give you the world, but you didn't want it. You threw my love away and left me all by myself. But I have to give you some credit; you didn't keep me away from Madison after you found out that she was mine."

"I couldn't keep her away from her daddy." Sami took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. "EJ, it's okay, I know you're worried. I've been out of my mind with worry over Madison, but remember your promise to me. We'd go through this together and no matter what happens, I'm in this with you. Please don't push me away. I can help you."

"No one can help me," EJ wrenched himself from her touch, but he couldn't get away from her grasp upon him. Sami pulled herself next to him, wrapping her arms around him even as they both started to cry.

She had thought she had gotten through to EJ that day in the church that she had broken down some of the walls they had erected against one another, then as the tears started to flow; making her chest heave heavily while her anxiety continued to grow. Her sobs overtook her as she sadly realized she couldn't help EJ and he didn't even want her to try.

Apparently all EJ wanted from her was to be a surrogate, a means to an end to provide the much needed stem cells for Madison to have a bone marrow transplant. Sami would do anything to ensure Madison's survival, but she hadn't thought she would lose her soul in the process to do so.

She wrapped her arms around herself, wishing there was another way to help Madison now because it was going to be so hard to keep her heart from breaking every time she was near EJ. He had really fooled her big time and the knowledge of her loving him was distressing when he didn't want or need her love at all.

How in the world would she be able to pull off what EJ was asking of her? How would she be able to make love, no correcting herself, have sex with him until she was pregnant without losing more of her heart to him with each encounter?

The pain was so raw that it cut like a knife, but she welcomed the pain because she would need it to draw upon to help her through this charade they had both agreed upon to help Madison. And regardless of what EJ thought, Sami was also prepared to do anything and everything for their child, even if it meant selling her soul to the devil.

EJ would not be able to believe how far she would go to convince the world that she was in love with him because as he himself had said to her all he needed was for her to give the performance of a lifetime and she vowed to herself if EJ wanted a performance, than by god, a performance he would get, more than he had ever bargained for.

Promises
Part II

EJ watched her leave the room, her head held high, no tears shed from her over what he had proposed. He touched his cheek where she had given him the unexpected kiss and thought the proposal he had offered to Samantha was definitely not the one he had dreamed of giving her. It was a far cry from what he had wanted to say, although he knew they were too unpredictable together to hope for anything else.

If she only loved him, things would be different. Then he sighed, love was an option he couldn't give to her. It had taken all of his strength he had inside of him to threaten that he would make her regret not agreeing to his proposal for the rest of her days if she didn't give Madison a reason to live by marrying him. Their marriage would grant to their daughter the one thing she most desired, a loving family that included both her mother and father living together with her under one roof.

He had to keep his mind on his intended goal of doing whatever it took to ensure that Madison did not give up on fighting this disease that had struck her at such a young age. He tried to console himself that he had only done what had needed to be done to keep his daughter from relinquishing her will to live.

If only he hadn't heard his daughter begging her mother to be there for him if she died. He cringed inwardly recalling their conversation that he had eavesdropped upon.

"Mommy, I worried if I don't get better that daddy will be all alone and I can't let that happen. Please Mommy, please promise me that you won't let my daddy be alone," Madison's tears started anew.

"Honey, don't say things like that, you are going to get better," Sami pulled Madison into her arms, trying to calm her down. "These treatments you are taking are helping you to overcome the leukemia."

"Mommy, I know how sick I am, I don't feel good anymore. That is why I need to know that daddy will be okay if I'm not around to take care of him."

No, he couldn't lose Madison; she was the only person in his entire life that had truly loved him. There was no sacrifice too big for him to make if it would ensure that Madison would have something to live for, even if the sacrifice he had to make was for him to give up his love for Samantha, to have her hate him from now on.

He'd saw her eyes harden towards him and the words she had spoken in anger brought back the haunting memories of when they were at odds with one another, when she had fought him at each and every turn. He could remember clearly all the times she denied ever feeling anything for him beyond contempt and disgust.

He turned and stared at the mirror, trying to wipe away the dense condensation that had formed on it while he had been in the shower with Samantha. He did a pitiful job of it, causing only jagged streaks of his image to appear on the glass bringing forth an apparition of him that he did not want to see.

He'd told Samantha before it wouldn't take much for him to become the man he used to be and that statement hit him with such a blinding force when he saw the man that stared back at him in the mirror. He had never wanted to hurt Samantha again and sadly he knew that man who had damaged her so badly years ago was just lurking in the shadows, waiting for his chance to reappear.

"No, never again," he spoke aloud to the mirror as he slammed his hand directly into it, wanting to erase the images of the man who looked back at him and in the process caused the fixture to shatter into tiny pieces. Ignoring the pain that instantly shot through him as the glass tore into his fist.

He could not allow himself to become that man again, he just couldn't.

Promises
Part III

"Daddy, are you okay?" Madison's voice broke EJ out of his reverie when she rushed into his room, the loud noise awakening her.

EJ winced while securing his bath towel more securely around his waist. He came out of his bathroom after managing to wrap a hand towel around his hand. He hoped the makeshift bandage would hide his wound from Madison, even though spots of blood began to appear through the material.

"I'm all right sweetheart," EJ assured Madison although he didn't feel as confident as he tried to sound to her.

"Oh no Daddy, your hand is bleeding. I'm going to get Mom," Madison left before EJ could protest her idea, not wanting to create another scene with Samantha, especially before their daughter.

Madison ran as fast as her small legs could take her, rapping on her mother's bedroom door insistently, "Mommy are you in there? Daddy needs your help!"

Hearing her daughter's scared voice caused Sami to stir, immediately wiping the tears from her eyes. She didn't want Madison or EJ to know that she had been crying.

"I'll be right out honey," Sami said hastily stepping to the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face. She opened the door to be greeted by a very worried Madison, who instantly took her hand and drug her mother down the hallway to her father's bedroom.

She didn't want to go into his room, not after all that had happened to them over the past twenty-four hours. She needed more time away from EJ, time to strategize her new game plan on guarding her heart where he was concerned.

Her thoughts on what exactly she would formulate concerning EJ quickly evaporated when she saw him, his normally dark complexion unusually pale as he struggled to find some clothes to wear. Sami turned to Madison giving no clue of her distress being near EJ and simply instructed her to go find the cordless phone. Madison left the room without complaint, her fear over something being wrong with her father overriding her usual attempt to argue wanting to stay with him.

Sami made sure Madison was out of earshot before she glared at EJ and tersely ordered, "Let me see your hand!"

"No, I am fine," EJ shook his head, not wanting her near him either; things were still too raw between them. He didn't want her help; he could manage quite fine on his own without her like he always did.

"Quit trying to act like you're not hurt and let me see your hand damn it!" She unwound the hand towel from his hand and gasped when she saw that pieces of glass were embedded into it.

"It's nothing," EJ tried to shrug her off, but when she began to cradle his injured hand within her own, he stilled. Her touch was soft compared to the harshness of the tone of her voice she used on him when Madison was not in the room with them.

Sami looked at him suddenly, forgetting to worry about whether or not she looked as if she had been crying and asked, "What did you do EJ?"

He didn't answer her, how could he explain his actions to her when he couldn't understand them fully himself? He tried to reach out to her with his good hand, then stopped when she realized what he was doing and abruptly let go of his hand from her grasp.

"Mommy, I found the phone," Madison proudly handed the phone to her mother.

"Thank you Maddie," Sami took the phone from her and started to dial Belle's cell phone number.

"Who are you calling?" EJ asked, irritation in his voice, not wanting anyone else to witness his foolish blunder, he'd take care of this problem himself, and he didn't need Sami coddling him.

"I'm calling Belle or would you rather me call your sister Lexie? Someone who knows what they are doing needs to look at your hand, it may need stitches."

"Don't bother Lexie," he answered as Sami rolled her eyes and began to dial Belle's cell phone again after he had stopped her from calling a few seconds earlier.

"Belle, I need your help," Sami began, turning away from them both. "No, Madison is fine, but EJ hurt his hand and I thought if you could maybe you could come over and check it out to see if he needs to go to the hospital."

Sami continued talking to Belle for a few minutes, relaying information quietly to Belle so as not to alarm Madison.

When she hung up the phone, she asked Madison to take it back to place upon the charger and for her to go play with her dolls for a while until after Belle checked her daddy out and then she would come get her. Madison agreed, taking the phone from Sami and heading out after giving her daddy a hug and a kiss.

Sami smiled encouragingly to Madison and then her smile faded after she left the room. She turned back to EJ shaking her head and then went to his bureau to retrieve him a pair of boxer shorts.

"What are you doing?"

"Helping you get dressed before my sister arrives to check out your hand unless you'd rather parade around her naked under your towel instead," Sami walked over to his closet, jerking a shirt from a hanger along with a pair of jeans, both of which she threw in his general direction.

"Thanks," he said, barely missing having the blue jeans hit him square in the face. Shaking his head, he dropped his towel and began to attempt to pull on the boxer shorts as best as he could with his one good hand while he held his injured one close to his side.

"Just stop before you hurt yourself further," Sami huffed in an aggravated manner as she went over to him, helping him pull up his boxers, yanking the material up roughly over his form.

"Easy there," EJ cautioned as the waistband of his boxers snapped sharply against him.

"Quit being such a baby," Sami handed him his blue jeans and then pulled them back away from his grasp.

"What? You don't want me to put on my pants now? Make up your mind woman!"

"Shut up! Your ego is big enough without you trying to entice my sister."

"So you're saying that if I walk around here half dressed then your sister would be interested?"

Sami didn't say a word and pushed him on the bed, holding open the blue jeans for him to put his feet into. He slid his feet into the jeans, and then Sami steadied him keeping him from falling after he got back up again.

"Belle already has two men making fools of themselves all over town, vying for her attention; she doesn't need a third man added into the mix." Sami pulled at the waistband of his jeans getting ready to button them for him when he stopped her.

"Samantha, I was just kidding, you know I would never be interested in either of your sisters."

She didn't say a word, her hands struggling to button and zip his jeans without faltering.

With his good hand, EJ touched her chin, causing Sami to raise her eyes to meet his own, "I meant what I said, I don't think of either of your sisters in that way."

Sami twisted away from the touch of his fingertips, picking up the shirt and throwing it at him, "Oh please spare me. You wouldn't be the first man I've been involved with that didn't lust after my sisters or prefer their company over mine. You know what? Maybe I can arrange for both of them to come over and pay you a visit. Or I bet you're so damn full of yourself that you want to try to take on all three of us at once."

"Samantha, you're being ridiculous. I don't want that…"

"Yeah, whatever, I really don't care who you want to be with anyway," she said turning swiftly to exit the room failing to hear his final words to her as she promptly slammed the door behind her.

"Because all I want is you."

He wanted to follow her, to tell her that he'd been wrong trying to make her feel as if she didn't have a choice marrying him, that he had made a terrible mistake earlier. That the real reason he wanted to marry her was because he loved her, only her. He hurried to shrug on his shirt, going to tell her exactly that and beg for her forgiveness when he heard Belle and Sami outside his door. He sighed taking a deep breath, realizing the moment was lost as both sisters came back into his room, Belle giving him a look of concern and Sami of course feigning concern, narrowing her eyes at him when Belle couldn't see her.

He really had messed up things between them, one look at Sami was proof of that and now he wondered how he would ever get her to believe a word he said again.

Promises

Part IV

"EJ, what have you done?" Belle asked examining his lacerated hand, her face forming a frown as she tried to gauge the extent of his injuries.

"It's nothing Belle," EJ assured her while Sami give a disbelieving grunt in the background, causing him to glance over his shoulder at her.

"Is he going to need stitches?" Sami asked circumventing EJ and walking behind Belle, looking over her sister's shoulder while they both peered at the scrapes that were still bleeding although not as badly as when Sami first saw the cuts.

"I'm not going to the hospital," EJ declared to them both, wanting to retract his hand from their gazes.

"EJ is being a big baby," Sami stated before she could catch herself, she had to be more careful or Belle would guess how angry she was at EJ at the moment.

"I am not!" He argued back, not wanting Sami to get in the last word with him.

"Well if you refuse to go to the hospital, I'll just have to do the best that I can for you here," Belle looked around the room. "Sami I'm going to need a few things, some hydrogen peroxide, tweezers, bandages, wrapping tape."

"Hydrogen peroxide, now seriously Belle, surely you don't need that," EJ gave her a doubting look.

"We need to go into the bathroom to hold your hand over the sink," Belle suggested, but EJ shook his head.

"The supplies are in the guest bathroom," EJ piped in, not wanting Belle or Sami to see the condition of his bathroom after he broke the mirror earlier.

"Okay, then let's go in there," Belle let his hand down and allowed EJ to lead the way to Sami's bedroom and adjoining bathroom.

Sami started opening up drawers until she finally found all the supplies that Belle said she would need. She laid them out upon the counter, trying not to look at EJ, but it was difficult to keep her eyes averted away from him.

Belle opened up the hydrogen peroxide and instructed EJ to lean his hand over the sink, she liberally poured on the liquid to the wounds, causing EJ to curse under his breath as the compound started to bubble and fizzle when it touched his skin.

"Told you he was a baby," Sami smirked, causing EJ to cast her glare in her direction.

"It stings like hell!" EJ countered back, gritting his teeth.

Sami just rolled her eyes while Belle poured some of the liquid on the tweezers.

"You are not using those tweezers on me!"

"How do you expect me to get out the glass from your hand since you are too stubborn to go to the hospital?" Belle asked patiently, not wanting to laugh even though she was hard pressed not to with Sami by her side.

"Can I at least get a drink or something?"

"I'll go fix you one," Sami offered wanting to leave the room, seeing EJ hurt wasn't fun at all, in fact it downright bothered her that she was starting to feel sorry for him. Checking on Madison and seeing that she was still playing with her dolls waiting for her mother to let her know when she could see her daddy again, Sami then went to the wet bar, taking the glass decanter with her along with a crystal glass.

She made her way back into the bathroom, pouring EJ a drink of bourbon which he gratefully accepting, tossing it back with ease and holding out the glass for another one. Sami poured him another and he drank again, and then nodded to Belle to do what she needed to do. He winced slightly as she diligently picked out the tiny shards of glass from his hand and then signaled for Sami to use the hydrogen peroxide once again after she had sufficiently gotten every particle that she could find.

EJ hissed as the liquid once again stung his hand, but didn't utter a word in argument. Belle wrapped his hand securely, tying off the bandage.

"Thank you Belle," EJ managed to say, although he didn't feel like offering up anything else at the moment, the cuts stung and he knew his hand would hurt like hell tomorrow.

"Do you have some ibuprofen?" Belle asked, finishing up the job as best as she could without all the supplies she had readily available to her at the hospital.

"Yes," EJ nodded.

"EJ, I'll get you some, just go lay down for a while and I'll be in there with you in a minute," Sami offered before she turned her attention back to Belle. "Thank you Belle. It was just a crazy accident and we've had our fill of the hospital until we have to back for the chemo treatments. I don't think Madison could handle having her daddy going there tonight."

"It's totally understandable," Belle gave them both a smile. "I'm glad I was able to help. Now EJ, go rest at least for a little while."

"I'll do anything not to have that putrid liquid poured upon me again," EJ tried to joke and then left to go to his room wondering how Sami would react around him once Belle went home.

"Bye EJ," Belle said and after EJ exited the room turned back to Sami. "Oh I brought over the present for EJ that you had me working on so it is a good thing he won't spoil his surprise since he went to his bedroom. I'll be right back with it"

Belle returned a few minutes later with a smile of pride upon her face when Sami opened the box and viewed inside. Sami hadn't expected Belle to finish up the project before Christmas and her expression showed it when she examined the contents of the present.

"Belle, I can't believe you were able to do all of this in such a short amount of time," Sami looked over the present in awe; it had even turned out better than she had even imagined.

"Well I had some help from Philip," Belle beamed, overjoyed to see a genuine smile on her sister's face. She hadn't seen too many of them from her over the past month and this was a welcome change. "He was interested in seeing if you wanted to market this, he assured me this would really sell."

"I don't know Belle, I'll have to think about it," Sami answered honestly, amazed that the present seemed to have taken on a life all by itself.

"No pressure, just wanted to let you know that Philip was really interested in talking with you when you have the time, maybe after Christmas?"

"Okay, I'll try," Sami hugged her sister tightly. "I love you Belle. You are a wonderful sister and I'm so lucky to have you in my life. How much do I owe you for all of this?"

"Hey, I didn't come over here to charge you a bill. This," she pointed to the box," was my gift to you. Checking on EJ's cut is to help you not have to go to the hospital, but Sami if it looks like it is getting infected then you have to make him go. Promise?"

"I promise," Sami let Belle go from her embrace, trying not to cry, she didn't want Belle to know that things were no where near where they needed to be between she and EJ. She would have to shoulder that burden herself. EJ was right Madison did deserve to have some happy times even if things weren't real between her and EJ.

"I've got to run, Philip is taking me out to dinner," Belle reached in to hug Sami once more and was out the door.

"Bye," Sami called out as Belle left, then shut the door, placing the box in the foyer before heading to the medicine cabinet to get EJ some ibuprofen along with a glass of water.

She found him in his room lying on his bed and her heart went out to him, one arm covering his eyes as he lay there. Trying to sound gruffer to him then she felt, she nudged him slightly causing him to stir, "Sit up EJ, you need to take the ibuprofen."

"I want another drink," came the muffled reply from EJ as he refused to sit up.

"Take this and I'll think about bringing you another one, but one more is all," Sami said helping him sit up, his nearness making her acutely aware of him and it was all she could do not to cry, but she wouldn't let him know that she was heartbroken over his decision about them.

EJ looked at her, she smelled so good, she was so close, he could kiss her, but he knew she didn't want his kisses after he had acted like such an ass to her earlier. He took the proffered ibuprofen instead as she held the glass for him to drink out of, her touch much more comforting than he thought possible considering how she had raged at him.

He was about to thank her when she took the glass and laid it on the bedside table, maybe he could just reach out with his good hand and stroke her face, but she abruptly moved away from him after he had taken the medicine.

"Get your rest prince charming, in case you've forgotten we've got a schedule for the baby making and as soon as I'm knocked up, you and your hand will probably be getting pretty friendly because believe me I will not have a thing to do with you after we seal our deal!"

She gave him a scathing look and exited the room. EJ leaned back on the bed, realizing he had a lot more ground to cover trying to make things up to Samantha then he previously thought. Samantha was without a doubt purely and utterly pissed off with him and he had no one to blame but himself.

Promises

Part V

Sami told a relieved Madison that her daddy was going to be fine and it warmed her heart to see her baby girl smile over the news. Without a doubt Madison loved her father with a fierceness that Sami had seldom witnessed in her lifetime. If only she were allowed the same luxury as Madison was in the capacity of loving EJ how different would her life be?

Well she would never know because EJ had main it plain in no uncertain terms that he didn't want or need her love for him. She watched Madison scamper off to EJ's room without a second's moment of hesitation and Sami didn't have the strength left to tell Madison that EJ needed to rest after his incident.

She left them alone for a while and then couldn't stand it any longer when she heard Madison laugh. She told herself she was only venturing back to EJ's room to check on Madison nothing more.

The sight that greeted her was enough to make her want to weep. Madison had her father propped up to a sitting position with pillows behind him and also one for him to lay his injured hand upon while she made a grandiose gesture of acting like she was reading the newspaper to him, relaying to him all the news from the latest edition of the Salem Spectator and while it would have been more convincing if her daughter had the newspaper turned up the right way while she made up stories of what was happening in their town she kept on talking non-stop pausing occasionally to have her father remark over what she had just read to him.

Sami stayed just outside the door, she wanted to join them, but maybe it would be better if she left them alone, she was without a doubt the outsider among them. Why Madison and EJ would be content without her here, although she just couldn't make herself leave his home.

EJ had thrown down the gauntlet earlier in the afternoon that she would do whatever it took to make Madison happy and she was not going to let their daughter down. So she pasted a smile on her face and walked into the room, determined not to let Madison know any difference. If EJ wanted her to pretend that she loved him in front of Madison, then so be it. She had pulled off tougher acts than this in her lifetime or at least she hoped this challenge would not break her already weakened spirit.

"Oh Mommy, come in, I was reading the newspaper to Daddy," Madison stated as she looked at the newspaper and suddenly righted it back to show her mother a picture.

"What a sweet girl you are to read to your daddy," Sami said and Madison beamed under her mother's praise.

EJ gave Sami a weak smile and was put off guard when she looked at him as if nothing was wrong between them and she climbed on the bed on the other side of Madison while their daughter continued to go through pages of the newspaper. Sami placed her arm behind Madison and hoped that she wouldn't inadvertently touch EJ in the process.

Madison rambled on for a while making both her parents laugh with the outrageous stories she made up until her stomach started rumbling.

"Maddie, I'm going to make us some sandwiches. Will you come help me since I don't know where your daddy keeps everything in his kitchen?"

"I can help Samantha," EJ claimed as he began to move from his position on the bed, but both Sami and Madison looked at him like he was daft.

"No, you stay and rest, I'll feed Maddie and give her a bath and then I'll bring you something later," Sami sweetly informed him and if he didn't know better he'd think she meant every word she said, that was until Madison was safely out of the room and she gave him the most menacing look she could shoot him without having their daughter see her.

Madison was a great help to Sami informing her exactly where her daddy kept all the things in the kitchen and she even ate part of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich along with a glass of milk after they had worked together to make the sandwiches. Madison claimed PB&J's were her daddy's favorite and she took extra care to make his just right.

Then she allowed Sami to help bathe her even though she claimed that she was a big enough girl to do it all by herself that she was a bit tired. So Sami helped Maddie in the tub allowing her the splash water at her mother and laughing. It was good to laugh; she needed to do so because the last month had been nothing short of hell for her to endure as a mother.

Finally after she had let Madison play in the tub until she was about to fall asleep, Sami took her out of the tub, dried her off carefully and put some warm pajamas on. Madison was almost asleep when Sami started to sing her one of the lullabies she used to sing to her when she was younger, her voice lilting in a melodious tune as she sang the words to her daughter until she couldn't hold her eyes open any longer, making Sami promise to tell her daddy goodnight and for her to give him a goodnight kiss from her since she was too sleepy to tell him herself.

Sami stayed by her bedside for quite some time, praying silently that God would heal her baby girl, she would ask Him for no more than that, her heart still breaking over her disappointment from EJ earlier. Finally she finished her prayers and leaned over to kiss Madison goodnight.

She would have to pass his room on the way to hers and she almost didn't stop to check on him, but she had promised Madison that she would tell EJ goodnight, as for the goodnight kiss, well that was going above and beyond what she thought she would be able to do.

He was asleep on the bed, still dressed in his jeans and the halfway buttoned up shirt she had thrown at him in haste before Belle had come over to check on the condition of his hand. She wished she could crawl up in bed with him, that somehow everything could be erased from their awful confrontation this past afternoon, but she knew it wasn't possible as the words he told her kept replaying over and over into her mind.

"EJ," she shook him gently as he tried to rouse himself up from hearing the sound of her voice.

"Sorry I fell asleep," his voice mumbled as he tried to open up his eyes, but she shushed him.

"It's okay, I just came in to tell you goodnight for Madison," Sami said trying not to get to close to his bed even though the temptation was strong.

He opened his eyes blearily to ask, "No goodnight from you?"

"I didn't figure you warranted a goodnight wish from me," Sami tried to keep her voice neutral; EJ didn't need to know the depths of how cruel his words had been to her.

EJ could see her struggle, but he wanted her near him, "No goodnight kisses either?"

"Do you think you deserve one?" She placed her hands on her hips, ready to do battle with him, he really had some nerve.

"My hand is hurt," EJ lifted his bandaged hand and played the sympathy card on her even though he knew it was wrong, there had to be some way he could get her closer to him. She eyed him warily, and was about to say something when he added, "Plus you said I needed to rest up for our schedule."

She leaned down to his side close enough to whisper in his ear, "I don't think you can handle me tonight, with your hurt hand and all."

"Why don't you just see if I can?"

"Oh please, you don't honestly believe that you can…"

Then the rest of her words were cut off when EJ pulled her on the bed with him with his uninjured hand and he said, "You were saying?"

The urge to slap him was strong, but not as huge as the urge to teach him a lesson, so Sami just laughed and said, "One goodnight kiss coming up," and she pulled him into a kiss.

Promises

Part VI

His lips found hers and the instant they touched; it ignited the ever consuming passion between them both. One goodnight kiss turned into many more. EJ rained kiss upon kiss to her mouth, her cheeks, then seeking downward he ventured to her neck, causing her to moan in appreciation for his efforts.

She had wanted to teach him a lesson, to get him all stirred up and then leave him high and dry, wanting her, but Sami could not make herself pull away from him. Being with EJ was addictive, when he touched her; she greedily wanted more of him, not less.

She needed to push away from him, to let him know what an arrogant bastard he truly was, especially after their confrontation this afternoon. Yes, she was going to do just that, in a few moments.

"You know I did need some help removing my clothes," EJ whispered wickedly in her ear and suddenly a flash of white hot anger struck deep within Sami enough to push him back from her.

"You are such a jerk!" Sami cried out, wishing her words could hurt him as badly as his words hurt her. She had been such a fool to believe that he had actually cared for her. She didn't want him to see her cry, she'd promised herself that he wouldn't ever see her tears of heartbreak over him fall, so she struggled to get away from him. Trying her best to flail him with her hands, anything to make him realize how wrong he was about trying to force her to marry him just so that Madison would be happy if indeed she was facing her last days on this earth.

"Samantha, I'm…"

"An ass, yes I know that all too well," she managed to spit out while trying to scoot away from him, although she couldn't get her bearings grounded enough to make a quick getaway from his bed. She turned her head and wanted to scream when she felt his hand upon her arm stopping her from making an exit from his bedroom. "Don't EJ. I can't do this because, because…"

"I'm sorry," the words came out softly, his voice full of contrition. "I don't know what came over me earlier, I just wanted to block out the pain, to be in charge of something, anything because quite honestly I don't feel I have control over a damn thing anymore. This thing with Madison has made me crazy. I didn't mean to threaten you, god help me Samantha that was the last thing I ever wanted to do to you again, to make you feel helpless…"

"Well you did," she sat up on the bed, clutching her knees tightly against her chest, unshed tears stinging her eyes, "but know one thing EJ, I won't let you have the power to hurt me ever again. I will harden my heart against you so well that you'll never be able to be close to me again. I won't let you kill my spirit, I may love you so much that it cuts like a knife searing deep into my soul, but somehow I'll find a way to get over you."

She loved him, she admitted as much all the while proclaiming that he wouldn't be able to hurt her anymore. The words he had wanted to hear her to say to him for such a very long time were finally out; although now he'd he plainly saw how he had ruined his chance with her. He could see it in her eyes, ones filled with tears that were threatening to overflow from those beautiful blue eyes.

Words failed him, she couldn't love him, and she never had before, so why now could she have these feelings for him? The silence stretched out between for a few moments as EJ struggled to find the words in his heart, ones he hoped wouldn't turn her away from him again after they had come so far with one another.

He reached out a tentative hand to her, afraid she would instantly pull away from his touch, but miraculously she did not. He smiled at her with a terrible resignation etched upon his features, making the smile almost look like a grimace as she lifted her eyes to his. "Samantha, I had no idea that you loved me."

"Last night didn't give you some kind of indication of how I felt about you?" Sami asked in a mocking tone. "I wanted to tell you how I felt this morning, and then one thing happened after another and then when we finally had some time alone, you just…"

"Made a complete ass of myself, darling I'm so sorry, please forgive me," his eyes never left hers as he traced the side of her face with one finger.

"I don't know if I can EJ," Sami answered honestly. "The things you said, the way you said them to me, and it scared me to think that we were back at that stage, threatening one another, doing things to see which one of us could hurt the other the most. I just can't live my life like that anymore; we can't do that to Madison."

"I heard you promise her not to leave me if something happened to her." EJ confessed his voice hoarse and raw with emotion.

"Oh EJ, yes I did promise her that, but can't you see that I would be here with you anyway?"

"No, I was afraid that if I loved you, if I gave you my heart that you wouldn't want me that I'd be facing the same heartbreak that nearly killed me all those years ago when you chose Lucas over me. I'm afraid to lose Madison and in my fear I couldn't take losing you too."

"So you pushed me away, made me think this was all some sort of twisted sadistic DiMera game that you were playing with me to coerce me to do your bidding."

He hung his head down, this woman could see right through him. Now in his fear of guarding his heart from any further hurt, he had probably lost his only hope of ever finding true and lasting love with her, the only woman who had ever captured his heart.

"Yes," he admitted, hating that she had hit the nail upon the head so to speak, she cut right through the chase and had him pegged dead to rights over his actions. "Once again I'll ask you for forgive me. Can you find it in your heart to show me this love you have for me? I honestly don't know what my life would be like if I had you to love and cherish like I have dreamed of doing for so long."

She didn't answer, she was afraid to, she wanted so desperately to believe in him, to believe that this was real between them. She paused only for a moment, and then with a sob she unwrapped her arms from around her knees and pulled herself into his arms. He instantly wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head as she cried. In that moment, she finally felt what she had longed to find for years, and that was a sense of coming home of truly belonging and it surprised her to no end that it was in EJ's arms she had found it. She reached up to kiss him and prayed that maybe this time around they could do things right.

Promises

Part VII

"Don't cry sweetheart, please don't cry," EJ crooned softly as Sami clung to him, her tears wetting his opened shirt that he still had on. He softly rocked her in his arms while she continued to cry softly. "I didn't mean all those things I said earlier. I swear I didn't mean them. I do love you with all my heart."

She couldn't hold back her emotions any longer, the events of the past month culminated into her finally letting the floodgates go that she had tried so valiantly to keep up. She loved this man; more than she ever had thought possible and when she had thought he didn't care for her at all it had literally crushed her soul. Now she could see how empty and defeated EJ must have felt all those years before when she shut him out of her life, choosing to be with Lucas instead of him.

They still had so many things to overcome, but at least now he knew that she loved him and that they could build upon this newfound love. She had to trust in her feelings that they could work through anything as long as they had each other. Sami knew it wouldn't be easy, but she was willing to give it her all even if these emotions she felt for EJ literally scared her to death.

She finally calmed down enough to turn her tear streaked face to EJ, god she must look a mess, but that didn't matter when she saw the look of concern in his eyes for her. He did love her; she'd heard him loud and clear even if she hadn't been able to hold back her tears. It was a blessed relief to finally unburden her soul to EJ.

He clumsily wiped away her tears, as best as he could with his bandaged hand, as a strange sensation began to blossom from deep inside him. He wasn't used to having hope preside in his heart, so it was a bit intimidating to be experiencing it firsthand with Samantha at his side. She smiled at him through her tears and knowing that she was here with him, not turning him away and embracing him instead was like seeing a rainbow appear in the sky after a sudden shower, it made him feel full of amazement and wonder.

He'd been alone for so very long, with only Madison to claim to love him, that knowing that Samantha cared for him was humbling. He wanted to give her everything, he knew they still had so many issues to get past, but at least for once they were communicating honestly with one another instead of hiding behind their insecurities.

"I love you too EJ, so very much," Sami admitted freely, glad that she could finally tell him without the fear of rejection coming from him. She touched his face briefly before running her fingers through his dark hair, pulling him into a kiss, one that grew in intensity with each passing second that transpired.

He lowered her down on the bed, breaking their kiss and looking into her eyes, "Samantha, I have waited so long to hear you speak those words. There were so many nights I lay awake in my bed, wishing that you were here with me, wanting to touch and hold you in my arms. For you to be lying next to me when I awoke, but you never were here when the morning came, you don't know how I thought I'd lose my mind over wanting you, craving your touch."

"I'll be here from now on, if you still want me here with you," Sami said, her heart feeling as if it might burst over the intensity of his words that he spoke to her.

"You promise?" His question was laced with uncertainty; it would take time for him to truly believe that she cared for him.

"With all my heart," she whispered, taking the opportunity to lean up and kiss him again. This was exactly where she wanted to be, in his arms surrounded by his love.