Title: Joshua
Author: Culumacilinte
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jesus/Judas
Summary: Jesus Christ Superstar-verse, not Bibleverse. Although Jesus is not nearly as volatile as he is in JCS. Eh. Whatever. Taking place just after Jesus and Judas' confrontation after the Last Supper- after the song "Jaded Manderin." Judas breaks down, essentially.
Judas could stand it no longer.
"Christ!" His voice was harsh, echoing even in the warm afternoon air in the garden. "Who is this Christ? You!" A finger, trembling; stabbing the air, pointing at the slight man who stood before him, "You are no Christ! I don't know this Christ, this Jesus."
A grieved expression passed over the face of the man whom he was shouting at.
"I should! I should go to the Sanhedrin and tell them-tell them everything, anything they want to know. I ought to betray you. You deserve it!"
The man called Christ waited, his brown eyes regarding Judas calmly, although not without sorrow.
"You'd deserve it all!"
Judas was screaming; repeating the same words over and over in a desperate, furious, senseless mantra.
"I don't know what's happened to you, Joshua."
His voice cracked; a broken whisper now; he turned eyes burning with anger and love and an anguish beyond words upon Joshua, almost daring him to retaliate. But he did not. He stood in front of Judas, looking curiously vulnerable; never more human than he did at this moment.
"You're right, Judas."
His voice was soft; a quiet acquiescence.
"You always have been, you know. I am Joshua, the son of Joseph, the son of Jacob, the son of Matthan, the son of Eleazar. A Nazarean carpenter. Nothing more."
And Judas collapsed into his arms, sobbing weakly.
"You know me, Judas. Jesus is what they've turned me into- the zealots, the Romans. They changed my name and turned me into a figurehead- any day now they're expecting me to lead an army to lay waste to Rome, or to call down a host of Angels. I can't. You know that. And I love you for it."
There was weakness in his voice then, and Judas looked up, his dark cheeks streaked with tears.
"Joshua… Master… I have to- I told them- the Pharisees and the priests-"
His voice caught, the horrible admission choked in his throat. Desperately he looked up at Joshua, afraid to see once more that terrible light of wrath in his clear brown eyes, such as there had been at supper not ten minutes ago when he had been not this calmly illuminated figure, but was livid, screaming, hideously angry. But not now. Now he looked resigned. His eyes told Judas that he understood, and that he forgave him, and at once a weight lifted from Judas's shoulders. He continued.
"I'm sorry- I don't… wasn't-"
But Joshua silenced him with a vague gesture
"Shh. I know; you must."
And he kissed him softly on the lips.
"Now go."