I love him there i said it I love him i love him so much I've always lived him just never dared to say it to myself to outloud any way incase one of the boys or Andrew heard me but I dont have to worry about that now not with Andrew gone any way and the boys are in bed . I can never tell charlie that i love him it would just wreck our friendship or would it he has a girlfriend who i hate so much why couldn't i be with him . Maybe he feels the same way about me I dont know i wish he did .

I'm so confused I've known charlie forever and i dont want to wreck our friendship but i cant keep this bottled up to myself its tearing me up in side . Maybe Charlie secretly knows i love him either way i have to tell someone but who .

Why am I doing this to my self how can I do this to my self ? Andrew hasn't been gone long , But Charlie was there when the baby was born mine and andrew's baby . The boys know Charlie so well