My next story – as promised! I hope you enjoy it!

In case anyone is wondering the title is a Latin quote (I'm afraid I can't remember who by) meaning 'to err is human'. The second part is "in errore perseverare stultum", which basically translates as 'to persist in error is stupid'. Unfortunately, the second half probably applies more to this story.

This is set somewhere between Meat and Reset, the only important implication of this being that Owen isn't dead. Also, I haven't managed to buy the rights to Torchwood since finishing my last story, what with that being less than a week ago (again as promised!).

Translation: I'm not RTD. Some day soon I'll add that to my profile so that I don't have to write it out each time.

"Are We Nearly There Yet?"

"Are we nearly there yet?" Owen whined as he slouched in the train seat with his eyes screwed shut.

"We're less than two minutes nearer than when you last asked." Gwen replied through gritted teeth.

"And at your current rate of enquiry you'll have to ask at least another one hundred times before we actually arrive." Tosh informed them all.

"If we haven't thrown him off the train by then." muttered Ianto darkly.

Owen sighed loudly and glared across the aisle to where Jack was sat next to Ianto. "Whose idea was this stupid conference thing anyway?"

"UNIT's. And the government. And it's not 'stupid', Owen, it's an excellent chance for us to get together to pool our knowledge and share information on the latest alien technology."

"Jack, this is a public train." Gwen muttered urgently. "You can't go yelling out about top secret conferences!"

"And am I mistaken, or was Tosh just telling you about that new piece of technological shit she wants to have a look at?" Owen demanded.

Tosh blushed, and the group fell silent. Owen looked down at his watch.

"Are we nearly there yet?"

***

Fifteen 'are we nearly there yet?'s later Owen found himself sat on his own while the rest of the team crowded around a table together across the aisle.

"I spy with my little eye something beginning with 's'."

"Sky, Jack." Gwen sighed. "We've had that one before."

"Fine. Your turn."

"I spy with my little eye something beginning with… 'h'."

"Hammer."

"You're too good at this, Ianto."

"Well, there's only so many you can do on a train."

"Where's the hammer?" Tosh asked in perplexion.

Ianto pointed at it. "She means the emergency hammer for smashing the glass." Ianto watched Jack's gaze move suddenly to where he was pointing. "No, Jack, you can't. If you smash that window it'll be hours before we get there."

Jack muttered something about the train taking hours to get there anyway, but didn't say it out loud, knowing that Ianto would just come back with the defence that if Jack had bothered to inform him sooner he might have been able to book them a faster train. He was beginning to wish they had taken the SUV after all, despite all the dire warnings about the London road system.

Ianto surveyed the carriage carefully then took his turn. "I spy with my little eye something beginning with 'm'."

The rest of the team looked round.

"Man?" Tosh suggested. Ianto shook his head.

"Mountain?"

"We're nowhere near any mountains, Gwen."

"Message then."

"Good, but no."

"Mammoth."

"Since when have you ever seen a mammoth on a train, Jack?"

"You'd be surprised."

Owen sniggered to himself as the team continued to guess. What a pointless game to play! And they thought he was childish?

"Oh! I get it!" shouted Gwen suddenly, pointing at Owen. "Miser!"

"Well done." said Ianto, smiling to himself as Owen glared at him and all the other passengers swivelled round in their seats to see who was being accused.

"Excuse me young lady," demanded a rather vicious-looking old woman as she stared down her nose at Gwen. "But would you mind not shouting at the top of your voice? This is a train carriage, not a playground."

The others giggled slightly as the woman turned back to her seat leaving a rather chastised-looking Gwen behind.

"I think it's time we thought of a new game, kids." Jack advised. "Preferably a more interesting one."

"How about 'who's the last person you snogged?'" Owen suggested, smirking cruelly at Gwen. "That went brilliantly the last time we played it."

Gwen made a rude sign at Owen, afraid to swear out loud in case she was jumped on again.

"So, Owen." Jack said conversationally. "Who's the last person you snogged?"

"Me, in the mirror this morning." replied Owen triumphantly.

"Why?" asked four voices in various tones of bewilderment, amusement and disgust.

"Because I was planning on playing this."

Jack shook his head despairingly. "Tosh, who's the last person you snogged?"

Tosh looked down at her shoes. "Tommy." she said quietly.

There was a short silence while everyone reflected on how they never bothered thinking things through before they started playing these sorts of games. Well, everyone apart from Owen.

"What, no one since then?"

Tosh just shrugged her shoulders in a non-committal sort of way.

"Alright." Jack spoke up, taking the focus off the blushing Tosh. "Gwen."

"Rhys."

"Surprise surprise." muttered Owen. "What about you then, Harkness? If we can't guess."

"Ianto." Jack declared, seizing him round the waist and kissing him. "Who's the last person you snogged, Ianto?"

Ianto's reply was drowned out by a surge of protests from their favourite old lady about showing what should be private displays of affection in public railway carriages.

"Old hag." Jack muttered.

Unfortunately she heard him.

***

"Are we nearly there yet?" Owen asked. It was the first thing any of them had said in some time.

"How near is near?" Jack replied enigmatically.

"What's that meant to mean?"

"Well, if you compare the distance from here to London with here to the moon then we're quite close." Jack explained. "But if you compare it to the distance from here to the end of the carriage then we're quite far away."

"I just want to know how near we are!"

Ianto looked at his watch. "I'm afraid the carriage analogy is probably the most accurate."

I probably thought that up on a train journey, but I can't remember. Certainly, I have played the 'are we nearly there yet?' game in the car, and my Dad does tend to reply the way Jack does. Actually, I now play the 'Paene advenimus?' (Latin for the same) game in the car, which means people can't complain as much. I'm informed that it's just as annoying though.

One day I will get round to taking driving lessons.

Until then – Review! I want to know if it's worth continuing the story. (Grief, I'm bad at threats, aren't I?)